NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Here's a personal flashback for me.
I used to be a really shy kid. Like really shy and awkward. I also had trouble expressing certain feelings. This resulted in unhealthy behavior in my pre-/teen years. Luckily I'm mostly better now.
Somehow, I manage to convince my mom and baby sitter to let me go to a school dance. A 3rd grade dance. So already it's kinda awkward. Anyway as expected, there's a few brave kids dancing, but it's mostly Its just clusters of kids hanging around each other, and me off by myself.
Anyway, so there I am nicely dressed and sitting on the bleachers when a girl comes up to me and asks if I would like to dance with her friend.
I freak the fuck out. I calmly say "no" and promptly leave, but my mind 8 year old mind is screaming about what I should have/be doing besides speed-walking to my babysitter's house. And I never did apologize to the girl because I didn't know who she was.
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Petesalzlvorpal blade in handRegistered Userregular
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
I was 17, in the car with my mom and sister (15), trying to describe my relationship with my high school boyfriend. What I meant to say was that we'd started as friends, and we were still friends, just dating now.
What actually came out of my mouth was, "We're like friends, just with benefits."
My sister made this weird noise somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. I realized what I'd said a moment too late to correct myself without making it even more awkward (or so it seemed to teenage me), so I spent the rest of the ride in mortified silence.
On a delivery tonight, in the elevator, it's taking forever, I'm starting to get mad , finally doors open, I look up, "what, I'm still on the main floor"
It's not til the guy entering the elevator reached over and hit a button, that I realized " oh ya I guess I gotta do that..."
knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
Back in the early 90s, during the infancy of the Internet as we know it, my Dad was having a conversation in which he was debating whether or not to hook the house online.
But he couldn't remember the name of the device used to hook the computer to the World Wide Web through the phone line.
Wanting to be helpful, I suggested, "A condom!"
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
+3
Petesalzlvorpal blade in handRegistered Userregular
Riding on the bus and a fella gets on and has his pant sagging down, not as common these days, but it still happens.
Unfortunately this person was not wearing underwear. I saw things...
I suppose this could just as easily go in the Awkward thread , I'll probably crosspost it. But this is reminding me of the one and only time I ever tried to "drive" a standard
Was about 16-17, driving with a buddy, he's speeding real good, sirens light up, he panics , has a ton of strikes on license, begs me to switch seats, and I'm an idiot so I do.
Manage to talk cop down to a warning, but then he motions me to leave and that's when I notice, hey , this is a standard, I have no idea what I'm doing!
I stalled it about 9 times trying to get back on the road, it was awful, I'm amazed he let us go.
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
Ever have a cat? Cats live for the overhand fashion.
I thought I told this story here, but I guess not.
So I was in Japan in 2013 for six weeks. Great fun, but after the first three weeks I had to travel from Yokohama to Osaka, which is quite a distance with a lot of walking through train stations. Now I'd heard there was a luggage delivery service in Japan that was incredibly reliable and also affordable. But I figured, nah. It's just a few trains, I'll carry my 30kg's of luggage by hand.
By the time I got to the first train station after leaving my friend's house, 700m down the road. I already knew I made a mistake. For some reason, I decided I should continue. It was hard, holy shit was it hard. Dragging that canvas bag (yep of course I got the one with no wheels I can just carry shit I'm a man) for five hours of traveling up and down staircases while pretending nobody was staring at me was hell.
By the time I got to the final station, I was ready for death to take me. Even more so when I realized I'd been walking for five minutes in the wrong direction. But a kind old man took pity on me and explained where the hotel was exactly and I was on the home stretch. Now I'd started carrying this bag across my shoulders, because my arms were flappy noodles at this point that couldn't carry a thing. And this was pushing my neck down so I couldn't really see very far ahead of me.
Which is why I walked straight into a tree branch, which hooked the 30kg bag off my shoulder, swinging it off and across my back and twisting my knee in the process, and finally clobbering a high school girl off of her bike. She shrieked at the top of her lungs and started apologizing in the "please don't hurt me way" and I panicked and my tired brain could only muster apologies in Afrikaans... which isn't even my first language. She scampered off, I was trying not to make eye contact with anyone, when I saw another cyclist. It was the kind old man from before, who'd followed me to make sure I didn't get lost.
He gave me this "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed," look and led my utterly destroyed carcass all the way to the hotel in complete silence.
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
FaranguI am a beardy manWith a beardy planRegistered Userregular
I remember one that doesn't end well for me.
Senior year of high school, it's Spring time so everyone is running down the clock til graduation, no effort anywhere. I'm sitting in an English-type class, and the teacher is actually a childhood friend of my mom. This is the cherry on top.
The activity that day is to group up by gender, and come up with questions regarding the other gender that you have always wondered about or some such malarkey. We figure it's just some more time-killing, and comply. After that, we are told to converse with our group and pick a representative of the other sex to answer some of the questions.
At this point, I think to myself uh-oh, and glance around the room. I see a number of sporty, very popular guys in the room. I breathe a sigh of relief internally, as I am very shy at this point in my life and get flustered easily.
The girls pose their questions, I can't even remember what they were. Then they say they want me to answer them. I then proceed to have a stupid and poorly timed internal monologue:
"Uh..."
You should say the guys got jipped, that'll be an ice-breaker.
"Man, the guys really got j-"
WAIT EMERGENCY STOP DONT SAY THAT SAY SCREWED
"-ewed!"
Oh no.
My friend sitting next to me turns to me, super slow, eyes wide. The teacher's mouth drops a little. Silence fills the room. I am in full on panic mode, but somehow keep a repentant face on.
After about 30 seconds of silence, I ask the teacher, "Do...do you still want me to answer the questions?"
A lad I lived with in uni was once watching a game of football in a bar in Brixton. Lauren Robert had missed an easy chance and he leapt up in disgust, unable to settle on whether to call him a donkey, or a muppet. The result was he shouted out "Come on Robert you fucking monkey", which resulted in just about everyone in the bar turning towards him in various combinations of horror and rage.
A lad I lived with in uni was once watching a game of football in a bar in Brixton. Lauren Robert had missed an easy chance and he leapt up in disgust, unable to settle on whether to call him a donkey, or a muppet. The result was he shouted out "Come on Robert you fucking monkey", which resulted in just about everyone in the bar turning towards him in various combinations of horror and rage.
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
I know a guy who genuinely has no preference. He puts a new roll on the thing and whichever way it ends up facing, that's it
there isn't much that scares me, but sometimes I wonder about him
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
I know a guy who genuinely has no preference. He puts a new roll on the thing and whichever way it ends up facing, that's it
there isn't much that scares me, but sometimes I wonder about him
This is me. I don't care at all which side it's on and I have no idea why people do
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
I know a guy who genuinely has no preference. He puts a new roll on the thing and whichever way it ends up facing, that's it
there isn't much that scares me, but sometimes I wonder about him
This is me. I don't care at all which side it's on and I have no idea why people do
when you go over to a friends house and use the restroom. while in there you notice that the toilet paper roll is placed in the improper underhand fashion, and you silently wonder to yourself how your could be friends with someone who is clearly an inhuman monster.
I know a guy who genuinely has no preference. He puts a new roll on the thing and whichever way it ends up facing, that's it
there isn't much that scares me, but sometimes I wonder about him
This is me. I don't care at all which side it's on and I have no idea why people do
Personally, it's muscle memory. Having it the other way around involves a whole new way of doing it.
Try, I don't know, switching your knife and fork to the opposite hand. It's not impossible, just weird and uncomfortable
I mean, there's a very decent chance that I do, purely on instinct, put it one way over another. It's just nothing I literally never, ever notice, from myself or others
my toilet paper holder is poorly designed - it is too small for a roll to fit properly so when you put a roll in, it gets compressed. Which means when you go to take some tp; instead of however much you wanted to get, you get only 1 square because it won't spin and the tp just rips.
I don't even use it. I just set the roll on the counter next to the toilet. I actually get annoyed when people put the roll in there.
Posts
I used to be a really shy kid. Like really shy and awkward. I also had trouble expressing certain feelings. This resulted in unhealthy behavior in my pre-/teen years. Luckily I'm mostly better now.
Somehow, I manage to convince my mom and baby sitter to let me go to a school dance. A 3rd grade dance. So already it's kinda awkward. Anyway as expected, there's a few brave kids dancing, but it's mostly Its just clusters of kids hanging around each other, and me off by myself.
Anyway, so there I am nicely dressed and sitting on the bleachers when a girl comes up to me and asks if I would like to dance with her friend.
I freak the fuck out. I calmly say "no" and promptly leave, but my mind 8 year old mind is screaming about what I should have/be doing besides speed-walking to my babysitter's house. And I never did apologize to the girl because I didn't know who she was.
I was 17, in the car with my mom and sister (15), trying to describe my relationship with my high school boyfriend. What I meant to say was that we'd started as friends, and we were still friends, just dating now.
What actually came out of my mouth was, "We're like friends, just with benefits."
My sister made this weird noise somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. I realized what I'd said a moment too late to correct myself without making it even more awkward (or so it seemed to teenage me), so I spent the rest of the ride in mortified silence.
It's not til the guy entering the elevator reached over and hit a button, that I realized " oh ya I guess I gotta do that..."
But he couldn't remember the name of the device used to hook the computer to the World Wide Web through the phone line.
Wanting to be helpful, I suggested, "A condom!"
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Unfortunately this person was not wearing underwear. I saw things...
That was mostly having a sharp corner to turn before pulling over
Ever have a cat? Cats live for the overhand fashion.
So I was in Japan in 2013 for six weeks. Great fun, but after the first three weeks I had to travel from Yokohama to Osaka, which is quite a distance with a lot of walking through train stations. Now I'd heard there was a luggage delivery service in Japan that was incredibly reliable and also affordable. But I figured, nah. It's just a few trains, I'll carry my 30kg's of luggage by hand.
By the time I got to the first train station after leaving my friend's house, 700m down the road. I already knew I made a mistake. For some reason, I decided I should continue. It was hard, holy shit was it hard. Dragging that canvas bag (yep of course I got the one with no wheels I can just carry shit I'm a man) for five hours of traveling up and down staircases while pretending nobody was staring at me was hell.
By the time I got to the final station, I was ready for death to take me. Even more so when I realized I'd been walking for five minutes in the wrong direction. But a kind old man took pity on me and explained where the hotel was exactly and I was on the home stretch. Now I'd started carrying this bag across my shoulders, because my arms were flappy noodles at this point that couldn't carry a thing. And this was pushing my neck down so I couldn't really see very far ahead of me.
Which is why I walked straight into a tree branch, which hooked the 30kg bag off my shoulder, swinging it off and across my back and twisting my knee in the process, and finally clobbering a high school girl off of her bike. She shrieked at the top of her lungs and started apologizing in the "please don't hurt me way" and I panicked and my tired brain could only muster apologies in Afrikaans... which isn't even my first language. She scampered off, I was trying not to make eye contact with anyone, when I saw another cyclist. It was the kind old man from before, who'd followed me to make sure I didn't get lost.
He gave me this "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed," look and led my utterly destroyed carcass all the way to the hotel in complete silence.
STEAM
Senior year of high school, it's Spring time so everyone is running down the clock til graduation, no effort anywhere. I'm sitting in an English-type class, and the teacher is actually a childhood friend of my mom. This is the cherry on top.
The activity that day is to group up by gender, and come up with questions regarding the other gender that you have always wondered about or some such malarkey. We figure it's just some more time-killing, and comply. After that, we are told to converse with our group and pick a representative of the other sex to answer some of the questions.
At this point, I think to myself uh-oh, and glance around the room. I see a number of sporty, very popular guys in the room. I breathe a sigh of relief internally, as I am very shy at this point in my life and get flustered easily.
The girls pose their questions, I can't even remember what they were. Then they say they want me to answer them. I then proceed to have a stupid and poorly timed internal monologue:
"Uh..."
You should say the guys got jipped, that'll be an ice-breaker.
"Man, the guys really got j-"
WAIT EMERGENCY STOP DONT SAY THAT SAY SCREWED
"-ewed!"
Oh no.
My friend sitting next to me turns to me, super slow, eyes wide. The teacher's mouth drops a little. Silence fills the room. I am in full on panic mode, but somehow keep a repentant face on.
After about 30 seconds of silence, I ask the teacher, "Do...do you still want me to answer the questions?"
Her look becomes iron. "Yes. Yes I do."
Well played.
Chicago Megagame group
Watch me struggle to learn streaming! Point and laugh!
Words are hard sometimes
Chicago Megagame group
Watch me struggle to learn streaming! Point and laugh!
A lot of issues to unpick in that one
I know a guy who genuinely has no preference. He puts a new roll on the thing and whichever way it ends up facing, that's it
there isn't much that scares me, but sometimes I wonder about him
This is me. I don't care at all which side it's on and I have no idea why people do
Personally, it's muscle memory. Having it the other way around involves a whole new way of doing it.
Try, I don't know, switching your knife and fork to the opposite hand. It's not impossible, just weird and uncomfortable
well what's the holdup
I'm going to tell you that we do it to avoid the whole over/under dilemma, but the truth is we're too lazy to bother putting it on the dispenser
I don't even use it. I just set the roll on the counter next to the toilet. I actually get annoyed when people put the roll in there.
Never goin back.
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
In a convenience store with an Ex, and well stomach's a gurgling, violently, I know what's about to happen , it's unstoppable.
And on queue, just the loudest wettest fart comes springing loose from my insides.
I immediately look at ex, wave hand in front of nose and go " Oh Honey,.. eww"
Entire store looks at her , not me.
Couch was comfy that night.
Was she an Ex at the time, or was that the wet fart that broke the camel's back?
sadly nope, it was her rampant cheating and my son not being my son in the end.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Does it make it better or worse that you made this post, Cheat?
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke