As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

The I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today [job] Thread

194969899100

Posts

  • Options
    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    once I was walking through a park in chicago and a dude with a "9/11 was an inside job" t-shirt that looked like threadless threw up tried to hand me a pamphlet and I think I involuntarily sneered at him

    it turns out I don't have a ton of patience for people peddling that shit! who knew!

  • Options
    korodullinkorodullin What. SCRegistered User regular
    edited March 2015
    Welp, as of today I've been full-time for a year. I get my yearly evaluation next month, the results of which determine how much of a pittance of a raise you get that year. I eagerly await my 1.25% pay raise!

    Also, I got word that our waste water department failed yet another weekly check on the iron content of my department's HCl, which marks two full months of failing it every single week due to the acid's iron content being way too high.

    Why is it too high? Well, right after I started working here a couple years ago, our new plant manager came up with an amazing solution to save the company a few bucks. Instead of buying chemicals to raise the iron level of the HCl that could be added as needed to keep everything up to spec, he decided to instead dump a hopper full of scrap wire* that's been sent through our wire chopping room into the HCl service tanks.

    It works, in the sense that it raises the iron level of the acid. But it raises it through the roof, to the point where we're going to be fined for every failed test beginning next week, and if it goes on for too much longer, we could lose our certification that lets us process and dump waste water, which would shut the entire plant down immediately until we re-certify.

    Another hopper was dumped today, Wednesday morning, just in time to make us fail our weekly check Friday.


    *This is wire that has gone through the entire production process and either failed to meet spec and has to be scrapped, or is the little bit of leftover wire that comes back from customers that's left on a bobbin that the company has to dispose of before the bobbin can be reused. This wire has gone through a gauntlet of baths and chemicals, including lead baths and copper electroplating, and is being dumped en masse into a tank that is supposed to be almost pure HCl.

    korodullin on
    ZvOMJnu.png
    - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
  • Options
    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    once I was walking through a park in chicago and a dude with a "9/11 was an inside job" t-shirt that looked like threadless threw up tried to hand me a pamphlet and I think I involuntarily sneered at him

    it turns out I don't have a ton of patience for people peddling that shit! who knew!

    Would have trouble not knocking the stack of pamphlets out of his hand. Actually no I wouldn't have trouble, I would just do it and be happy with the decisions I make.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Options
    mcpmcp Registered User regular
    *Person walks into my office*

    Hey, I saw you sent me an email. I didn't read it, what did you need?

    me: rrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Options
    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Tell them about the Lizard People ruling the hollow earth

    That reminds me of one of my favorite senatorial voting hilariousness. We know about the lizard people here.

    Why would someone vote for the Lizard People?

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Options
    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited March 2015
    mcp wrote: »
    *Person walks into my office*

    Hey, I saw you sent me an email. I didn't read it, what did you need?

    me: rrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    "I need you to go read that email"

    Email reads: "Come see me."

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Options
    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    TheStig wrote: »
    once I was walking through a park in chicago and a dude with a "9/11 was an inside job" t-shirt that looked like threadless threw up tried to hand me a pamphlet and I think I involuntarily sneered at him

    it turns out I don't have a ton of patience for people peddling that shit! who knew!

    Would have trouble not knocking the stack of pamphlets out of his hand. Actually no I wouldn't have trouble, I would just do it and be happy with the decisions I make.

    I'm not super confrontational with people I don't know. With the Sandy Hook dude, I knew I had a decent shot at making him realize it was idiotic. This random dude, though, he was to the point where he was handing pamphlets out to strangers. I didn't even mean to make a face, he just caught me by surprise.

  • Options
    ElbasunuElbasunu Registered User regular
    korodullin wrote: »
    Welp, as of today I've been full-time for a year. I get my yearly evaluation next month, the results of which determine how much of a pittance of a raise you get that year. I eagerly await my 1.25% pay raise!

    Also, I got word that our waste water department failed yet another weekly check on the iron content of my department's HCl, which marks two full months of failing it every single week due to the acid's iron content being way too high.

    Why is it too high? Well, right after I started working here a couple years ago, our new plant manager came up with an amazing solution to save the company a few bucks. Instead of buying chemicals to raise the iron level of the HCl that could be added as needed to keep everything up to spec, he decided to instead dump a hopper full of scrap wire* that's been sent through our wire chopping room into the HCl service tanks.

    It works, in the sense that it raises the iron level of the acid. But it raises it through the roof, to the point where we're going to be fined for every failed test beginning next week, and if it goes on for too much longer, we could lose our certification that lets us process and dump waste water, which would shut the entire plant down immediately until we re-certify.

    Another hopper was dumped today, Wednesday morning, just in time to make us fail our weekly check Friday.


    *This is wire that has gone through the entire production process and either failed to meet spec and has to be scrapped, or is the little bit of leftover wire that comes back from customers that's left on a bobbin that the company has to dispose of before the bobbin can be reused. This wire has gone through a gauntlet of baths and chemicals, including lead baths and copper electroplating, and is being dumped en masse into a tank that is supposed to be almost pure HCl.

    what the fuck.

    what.

    g1xfUKU.png?10zfegkyoor3b.png
    Steam ID: Obos Vent: Obos
  • Options
    ElbasunuElbasunu Registered User regular
    I feel like you could make more money whistleblowing that place and selling the rights to your interview than by working there.

    g1xfUKU.png?10zfegkyoor3b.png
    Steam ID: Obos Vent: Obos
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    The book rights alone would be enough to retire on.

  • Options
    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    @korodullin.

    You need to overthrow the Bourgeoisie at this point. Dictatorship of the proletariat!

    -3565581810565259910.jpg

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Options
    korodullinkorodullin What. SCRegistered User regular
    Caaba Beankomy Xobthro indeed comrade.

    ZvOMJnu.png
    - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
  • Options
    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    korodullin wrote: »
    Caaba Beankomy Xobthro indeed comrade.

    That's my motto.

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Options
    KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Code fondler Helping the 1% get richerRegistered User regular
    JoeUser wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    Conversation at work started with talk of being able to see the northern lights last night, and ended with a bunch of my coworkers being climate-change denialists. Took all of about 4 sentences to bridge that gap.

    I am the lone liberal duck here.

    Up the ante and say that you deny all science. Except phrenology.

    You can deny it all you want but applied phrenological restructuring is very effective in changing unwanted behaviors and thoughts.

  • Options
    Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    Tell them about how the goverment is putting the corrosive mixture Hydrogen Dioxide into everyone's homes

    p0a2ody6sqnt.jpg
  • Options
    BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    Tell them about how the goverment is putting the corrosive mixture Hydrogen Dioxide into everyone's homes

    Now I'm getting flashbacks to grading unfortunate answers in organic chemistry exams.

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
  • Options
    NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    JoeUser wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    Conversation at work started with talk of being able to see the northern lights last night, and ended with a bunch of my coworkers being climate-change denialists. Took all of about 4 sentences to bridge that gap.

    I am the lone liberal duck here.

    Up the ante and say that you deny all science. Except phrenology.

    No no, go with humorism. When they naturally ask "what...like...jokes? What?" that is your window to launch into the longest-winded explanation of balancing phelgm and bile in the entire world.

    Getting them to ask about it is the key here. Make them care just a tiny bit before you make them suffer.

  • Options
    HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    Al_wat wrote: »
    safety is always the priority until it interferes with production

    We care about your safety to the absolute minimum amount required by law and by our insurance company.

  • Options
    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    Tell them about how the goverment is putting the corrosive mixture Hydrogen Dioxide into everyone's homes

    http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
  • Options
    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    I think the biggest hurdle for me at this job, in relation to how I feel about my position in our group, is the age gap. I have a personal interest in electronics and tech, and some scientific/engineering education from flip-flopping around in college so being the only person with a non-engineering degree isn't a big deal. Being some 20 years younger than the mean age of my department just puts me in a whole different generation. My mindset is so much different from theirs, but stuff like that doesn't really come up in a job interview.

  • Options
    eddizhereeddizhere Scrubber Than A Sponge Scrubtown, USARegistered User regular
    I have a round of classes that begins today and I've not received a roster for it yet. I've asked my boss for it several times and had to forward him several concerned parent e-mails about whether the class was going to start at all, considering that there has been no correspondence to the people who signed their children up.


    Ugggghhhh I'm doing this because it's important and I love it, no matter how poorly organized it is.

    League of Legends: Plutoniumwombat
    Smite: Plutoniumwombat
  • Options
    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I am always concerned about open flames in a book filled environment. I am currently looking at twelve such flames.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • Options
    FaranguFarangu I am a beardy man With a beardy planRegistered User regular
    korodullin wrote: »
    Welp, as of today I've been full-time for a year. I get my yearly evaluation next month, the results of which determine how much of a pittance of a raise you get that year. I eagerly await my 1.25% pay raise!

    Also, I got word that our waste water department failed yet another weekly check on the iron content of my department's HCl, which marks two full months of failing it every single week due to the acid's iron content being way too high.

    Why is it too high? Well, right after I started working here a couple years ago, our new plant manager came up with an amazing solution to save the company a few bucks. Instead of buying chemicals to raise the iron level of the HCl that could be added as needed to keep everything up to spec, he decided to instead dump a hopper full of scrap wire* that's been sent through our wire chopping room into the HCl service tanks.

    It works, in the sense that it raises the iron level of the acid. But it raises it through the roof, to the point where we're going to be fined for every failed test beginning next week, and if it goes on for too much longer, we could lose our certification that lets us process and dump waste water, which would shut the entire plant down immediately until we re-certify.

    Another hopper was dumped today, Wednesday morning, just in time to make us fail our weekly check Friday.


    *This is wire that has gone through the entire production process and either failed to meet spec and has to be scrapped, or is the little bit of leftover wire that comes back from customers that's left on a bobbin that the company has to dispose of before the bobbin can be reused. This wire has gone through a gauntlet of baths and chemicals, including lead baths and copper electroplating, and is being dumped en masse into a tank that is supposed to be almost pure HCl.

    If they filmed your work environment I would watch that over a number of highly acclaimed shows on AMC

  • Options
    FaranguFarangu I am a beardy man With a beardy planRegistered User regular
    edited March 2015
    Double post woo

    Farangu on
  • Options
    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    @timspork's ghost If you haven't already, you should build a Pratchett display and have one of the books caged or chained down, for the student's own safety.

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    rhylith wrote: »
    Jury duty uuugh

    I love jury duty as a state employee. Get paid normally and have half a day off. Of course I'll never ever be selected to be on the jury so a day or two is about the extent of that little vacation.

    Who knew lawyers don't want people who've taken actual criminal justice courses.

  • Options
    SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

  • Options
    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

    Beer fridays!

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Options
    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    @timspork's ghost If you haven't already, you should build a Pratchett display and have one of the books caged or chained down, for the student's own safety.

    For some reason we have only two Terry Pratchett novels, Dodger, and Nation.

    The previous librarian was apparently not a fan.

    I will rectify that.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • Options
    Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    Are there any sort of power or privileges that could be doled out? I know I'm more motivated when I have more control on my work.

    VayBJ4e.png
  • Options
    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    "What will up motivation and productivity? Other than actual quantifiable benefits/money/free time of course. We talkin like... 'Hang in There!' kitty posters, or...."

    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

    Hookers and blow.

    And throw in a bouncy castle as well.

  • Options
    SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Sassori wrote: »
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

    Beer fridays!

    The problem is that I don't want to hang out with these people. I want to take my beer and go drink it alone in my office.

    And I think my boss would see that as part of the "low morale" issue.

  • Options
    NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

    Company field trips?

    My company has a policy in place that you can take paid time off to work at a charity (and its separate from vacation and sick/personal days), maybe something like that? Argue that if the office contributes as a team, could be good for the company as it's showing assisting the local community.

    newSig.jpg
  • Options
    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Someone give me a list of Pratchett titles in order from THIS NEEDS TO BE IN THE LIBRARY.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • Options
    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Sassori wrote: »
    My boss wants us to e-mail them with an idea of what would help motivate us or motivate the office and I'm trying very hard to think of something constructive to say that isn't: Money or New Job

    I mean, at least they are trying, but I honestly have no idea what to say.

    Beer fridays!

    The problem is that I don't want to hang out with these people. I want to take my beer and go drink it alone in my office.

    And I think my boss would see that as part of the "low morale" issue.

    "Replace all the assholes I can't stand with awesome fun people that are good at their jobs. Also, 50% payrise. Morale through the fucking roof, baby!"

  • Options
    SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    The example that was given was something like a pizza party that we could have if we met a certain quota or goal.

    We had to bend over backwards to get the boss to agree to test casual Fridays and they are only letting us try it for the summer before deciding if we can do it during the actual school year.

  • Options
    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    There is a teacher appreciation lunch happening right now in my library due to the school having nowhere else to put it.

    Lots of free BBQ and fried chicken.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • Options
    mcpmcp Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    rhylith wrote: »
    Jury duty uuugh

    I love jury duty as a state employee. Get paid normally and have half a day off. Of course I'll never ever be selected to be on the jury so a day or two is about the extent of that little vacation.

    Who knew lawyers don't want people who've taken actual criminal justice courses.
    The last time I had jury duty, there was a dude that was obviously trying to give answers that would keep him from being selected.

    Sometimes it was kind of hilarious.

    When they asked him what hobbies he had he stammered and stutterd for a bit before blurting out, `ATHEISM.'

  • Options
    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    When bosses try to bribe/motivate employed adults with a pizza party like they are 8 year olds in grade school.

    Free lunch is awesome and thank you! I appreciate it! But this is three dollars worth of pizza, I am not going to do a backflip over it.

    vmn6rftb232b.png
This discussion has been closed.