My dad remarried a woman who has two kids - one her biological daughter and the other was adopted from asia at a young age. They're around 12 and 10 respectively. She's quite successful, responsible, is supportive of my dad as far as I can tell. But any time I've visited, she flies off the handle, invariably, at her adopted daughter. Almost any interaction between just the two of them leads to my stepmom yelling at her adopted daughter. It's horrible to watch and I feel depressed whenever I visit because I feel powerless to do or say anything.
I talked with my dad about it, and he also feels powerless. So, I feel maybe it's not my place. I'm not terribly responsible myself, and I definitely have been needlessly unkind to people I care about.
She's been very kind, patient, and generous with me. She'll offer to pay to include me on expensive vacations, and I'm appreciative of the gesture.
So in my mind, I'm thinking I could bite the bullet and next time I see it happening,say, "Stepmom, I like you and I'm grateful that you're willing to have me stay with you, but this isn't right. I'm always apprehensive when I visit because I'm always worried of seeing you yell at your stepdaughter when she clearly doesn't deserve it." Something like that. Or else I remain silent and uninvolved.
There's lots of tragedy all around, and I can't do much about any of it. Perhaps it's not my place to say anything. Over there years I've seen a lot of insightful advice on this forum, so if anyone has experience or perspective to share it's more than welcome.