I don't know if the nurses told you, but when you have a c-section, your milk production gets jetlagged, and the usual steps for it get delayed by a day or two. Same with baby poops.
unless the baby poops while in the mom still and then emergency c-section time
woo woo
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
I don't know if the nurses told you, but when you have a c-section, your milk production gets jetlagged, and the usual steps for it get delayed by a day or two. Same with baby poops.
unless the baby poops while in the mom still and then emergency c-section time
woo woo
Not sure if I've told this story here before, but my daughter actually peed into my wife's opened abdomen while being removed via C-Section.
Babies are exciting!
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Ahava is still recuperating, and is really really exhausted right now. Luckily, grandmom is here to help things along. We're working on breakfast right now.
HardtargetThere Are Four LightsVancouverRegistered Userregular
edited February 2016
well baby number one is turning 18 months old in a few days, so that's crazy
also we found out conceivably baby number 2 exists and is at 5 weeks. We're going for a dating ultrasound at 7 weeks. Normally this is no big deal but we had 2 miss carriages the first time and i'm stressed about the whole thing.
so in 2 weeks we'll know if it's viable and what not but there's a good chance we're having another baby. Wife had major nausea this morning.
Kid #2 seems to have turned the corner with potty training, yesterday and today she's peed in the potty on her own without prompting. The end of diapers is in sight.
Our little girl turned 15 weeks old today. Over the past week, she's started to get VERY angry and fussy when tired and it takes a lot longer for her to get to sleep. And for some odd reason, she's starting to detach herself during feeding, even if it hasn't been that long.
Is this normal? A Growth spurt? Rough phase?
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Our little girl turned 15 weeks old today. Over the past week, she's started to get VERY angry and fussy when tired and it takes a lot longer for her to get to sleep. And for some odd reason, she's starting to detach herself during feeding, even if it hasn't been that long.
Is this normal? A Growth spurt? Rough phase?
Ours does it too, and is 6 months now but she started around same time. Teeth related from what i understand.
Yeah, the only time ours has shied away from breastfeeding it was teething related. My wife's had to endure a couple 24-36 hour nursing strikes. Make sure you go get a pump if one of those starts.
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
Eleanor is home. Now it's time to start this next stage of our lives.
Breastfeeding is tough work! I actually kind of annoyed how little they tell you before birth about how difficult it can be. It doesn't help that Henry is possibly tongue tied (well, half the midwives say he is and the other half sat he isn't, which is even more frustrating). We've booked a private appointment (as much as I love the NHS, 6 weeks waiting time for an appointment is a bit ridiculous) today to get it checked out and possibly cut to see if that makes feeding less painful for mum, so fingers crossed!
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
i'd say that right now, looking back on the last few days, my biggest complaint about the midwifes has been the whole everybody is on different pages with things.
Some of them say one thing, some say another and still some a third thing. The lack of overall consistency was so very very frustrating.
I've got to get a big write up done over the next day or so. There were things that I'm glad I did, things that I'd definitely change.
but overall it was a positive experience and I've got the most amazing little girl and the most insane future along the way.
She's just amazing, you guys. So very very amazing.
FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
The whole 'every midwife has a different approach to breastfeeding' thing was something we went through the first time, too. Every midwife seems to like to try their own way and they throw all of it at you to see what sticks. Jen found it exhausting bullshit that in retrospect was one of her least favourite parts of the whole process and the reason we rushed out of the hospital as fast as they would let us.
We did slightly better the second time, where there was a better coherent consistent message thanks to being in a unit with dedicated lactation consultants who, you know, specialise in that and make the whole unit step in line.
Every pregnancy is different (sometimes you get morning sickness, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you are dizzy, sometimes not. Etc...).
Every baby is different (some like swaddling, some don't, some hate being on belly some crawl in a couple of months, some fall asleep easily, some need a ton of white noise. Etc...).
So what happens is you get people who had a set of techniques with for them (turn then sideways and shush in their ear) and really well too, who then assume every baby works that way. This is why you will get conflicting (solicited and otherwise) advice from every person you meet/book you read. All the advice is true! Just not necessarily for *your* baby.
Just an update from the appointment, he ended up having the frenulotomy, and it seems to have worked great. He's less stressed when feeding, and takes less time (he would have fed for well over an hour before, now he latches himself off after 10-15 min per boob). Also a lot less painful for mum, which is great as it was getting to the point where we were going to switch to formula.
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
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rex has slept in his own bedroom from 7:30 - 6:30 every night. he woke up once at around 11:30, probably from a bad dream, and had a hard time getting back to sleep because he was excited about frogs. otherwise he's been so good despite the change, and not having us in the room if anything seems to make him sleep better. he doesn't use his room that much yet for play, but he'll grow into it i'm sure
we have a backyard now. a dining table. a barbecue. a car space. a bath! i feel like a family guy.
KakodaimonosCode fondlerHelping the 1% get richerRegistered Userregular
Back home with the baby. Finally. As much as the nurses helped, I don't miss them coming in to the room every two hours and waking us up. The surgery went well enough except the anaesthesiologist kept playing on his phone during the procedure to the point where I had to tell him to pay attention when my wife was getting sick.
Back home with the baby. Finally. As much as the nurses helped, I don't miss them coming in to the room every two hours and waking us up. The surgery went well enough except the anaesthesiologist kept playing on his phone during the procedure to the point where I had to tell him to pay attention when my wife was getting sick.
Woa, I'd have ripped the phone out of his hand and casually taken it to the sink and drown it in hospital water. I applaud your restraint.
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Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
First baby has happened in the antenatal group
Two weeks ago this was all very hypothetical. But that one was a good fortnight early and I am now aware that we are slowly creeping up the probability curve
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Wow, that's amazing. We were barely 1 week ahead of our kiddo's appetite, despite constant pumping.
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Wow, that's amazing. We were barely 1 week ahead of our kiddo's appetite, despite constant pumping.
She's finally cut down to just pumping 2x a day, but now the baby (~8 months) is eating way less milk due to getting entrenched with solids, so she still ends up a couple days ahead.
But at least now we're freezing 4-6 bags/week instead of 24+ like we were at the peak of it.
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
She is fortunate to not have any supply issues, and she was very fastidious about pumping regularly. She also pumped exclusively due to some early breastfeeding issues and pain, which meant that her body thought that the baby was really hungry. It also turns out that producing like 100 ounces of milk a day is a really strong weight loss plan.
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
She is fortunate to not have any supply issues, and she was very fastidious about pumping regularly. She also pumped exclusively due to some early breastfeeding issues and pain, which meant that her body thought that the baby was really hungry. It also turns out that producing like 100 ounces of milk a day is a really strong weight loss plan.
I ask this out of genuine ignorance and not as a joke: Is it possible to get dehydrated from producing too much milk?
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
She is fortunate to not have any supply issues, and she was very fastidious about pumping regularly. She also pumped exclusively due to some early breastfeeding issues and pain, which meant that her body thought that the baby was really hungry. It also turns out that producing like 100 ounces of milk a day is a really strong weight loss plan.
I ask this out of genuine ignorance and not as a joke: Is it possible to get dehydrated from producing too much milk?
If you don't up your intake, I would think so, though at a certain point I imagine your supply will start reducing on its own if you are regularly dehydrated.
Ugh. NJ claims my ss number isn't valid for maternity leave pay. So I need to send them a copy of my ss card. Guess what I lost years ago (having a passport makes having a ss card unnecessary for most things).
So, here I am, 21 days after sending in the paperwork, having to go to the ss office. 10 days for the card, and theoretically 3 more weeks after I send in the paperwork to get the money.
Fuck NJ.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
My wife goes back to work in about a month, so we've been freezing up a backlog of milk for me to feed the kiddo while she's away. Got about 40 or so ounces stored up so far. Not bad! Should be able to get a nice backlog of milk prepped in time.
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
She is fortunate to not have any supply issues, and she was very fastidious about pumping regularly. She also pumped exclusively due to some early breastfeeding issues and pain, which meant that her body thought that the baby was really hungry. It also turns out that producing like 100 ounces of milk a day is a really strong weight loss plan.
I ask this out of genuine ignorance and not as a joke: Is it possible to get dehydrated from producing too much milk?
If you don't up your intake, I would think so, though at a certain point I imagine your supply will start reducing on its own if you are regularly dehydrated.
Speaking from some experience with my wife whose supply was not so great, being properly hydrated is critical to keeping her supply up, and she deliberately drinks a bit more water now to ensure that doesn't affect her.
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FaranguI am a beardy manWith a beardy planRegistered Userregular
So, a question.
Are there any dads here that had a hell of a time getting their kids to calm down? And if so, did you find anything that worked?
I was watching our two-month old a few periods this weekend while mom got some time to herself/finished up some work stuff, and each time he went from peaceful to world-ending crying very quickly. I tried just about every comforting thing I could think of, and nothing seemed to work. It happens while he's awake sometimes, and always when I try to put him down for a nap/bedtime. Near the end of last night's 20 minute outburst it took a real effort for me not to break down in front of him, which would have only made things worse. And it seems that when he starts fussing/crying while she's there, she gets him soothed in a couple of minutes, tops.
At 2 months, babies are almost exclusively crying because
1) They're hungry
2) Their diaper is dirty
3) They're tired
4) They're gassy
99% of baby situations were solved by going through that checklist when my girls were that small. I'd try to feed them and see if they'd take it(though this was usually mom nursing, we didn't give them many bottles). I'd make sure the diaper was clean and change it if needed. I'd try to help the baby go to sleep, which often involves more work than you'd think, standing up, rocking, etc. Both my daughters were pains in the ass who would scream and fuss if you tried to sit down and rock them to sleep, but would be fine if you stood. I don't know why they cared other than to make us do more work. =P And then if they were gassy I'd try to burp them and what not, but we had to go to the little natural gas drops too which really helped at times.
Though there was once where my oldest daughter screamed bloody murder for about 15 minutes straight and we couldn't figure out why until we realized she just didn't want socks on her feet, and she was fine as soon as we removed them. But 99% of the time it was those first four things.
You said it happens when you put the baby down too. I'd just suggest trying to make sure the baby is fully asleep before putting them down. Even then, if he's like our girls, they just woke up when you'd try to put them down even if they WERE asleep, so we ended up holding them a lot. Don't listen to people who say holding a newborn all the time will spoil them, heh. Babies just need their parents a lot. If you got a kid who will chill and sleep on their own all the time at 8 weeks, great. But if not, it's not fair to the baby to just put them down and let them scream until they pass out from exhaustion, because they don't understand anything other than their very basic needs at that age.
Are there any dads here that had a hell of a time getting their kids to calm down? And if so, did you find anything that worked?
I was watching our two-month old a few periods this weekend while mom got some time to herself/finished up some work stuff, and each time he went from peaceful to world-ending crying very quickly. I tried just about every comforting thing I could think of, and nothing seemed to work. It happens while he's awake sometimes, and always when I try to put him down for a nap/bedtime. Near the end of last night's 20 minute outburst it took a real effort for me not to break down in front of him, which would have only made things worse. And it seems that when he starts fussing/crying while she's there, she gets him soothed in a couple of minutes, tops.
Hey, I've got an almost seventeen month old daughter, I'll weigh in.
For the next while little while, you're going to be playing second-fiddle as a parent. This is because in large part, you don't have two feeding sacks you can deploy at will, and food's just about the most important thing to a baby that age. Also crying for no reason is kind of a thing that babies do at that age, starting around two weeks and up through three or four months. This is often referred to as the period of PURPLE crying, PURPLE's an acronym and you can get more information here. I encourage you to consult that site and read/watch their info, we found it helpful during this time.
For one, soothing a baby is a learned skill, and different things will work at different times, so keep trying. Go skin to skin with the baby, climate permitting. Not only will it help regulate the baby's temperature, it'll stimulate the production of oxytocin in both of you, helping you form that bond. If she falls asleep on you, it's totally fine to just hold her while she sleeps provided you're awake. Baby's are pretty oblivious to sounds at that age, so relax in a chair and toss on Netflix. Or take up something you can play one-handed (Hearthstone was my choice back in the day). Ours always took longer naps on a person than if she was put down.
Secondly, sometimes you just can't sooth 'em. You can run the list (hungry? diaper? sick? teething? tired?), but sometimes a baby's just going to cry. You need to learn to accept that, and continue to provide the comfort and support you can, and to take a break when you need to. A common refrain during this period is that if you're reaching your breaking point, and there's no one else to take the baby, you can just put the baby down somewhere safe like their crib, step outside, and take a 5 minute break to regain your composure. This is ultimately safer for everyone in the long run.
Thirdly, if you're noticing a lot of crying at naps/bedtime, it might be because the baby's getting overtired. At that age you can only start to see hints of a sort of schedule emerge, mostly it comes down to how long they've been awake. I think for our daughter it was like, 1.5 hours max and she needed a nap. As they get older, the naps'll start to standardize into more of a routine, and it will get easier.
Finally fourthly, just keep trying stuff to see if it makes things better or worse. For example, a guaranteed way to provoke sleep for mine was a walk in the stroller or a ride in the car. Does your kid startle themselves awake? Try swaddling. Do they hate being swaddled? Don't do it. Do they seem like they're gassy? You can try bicycling their legs or rubbing their belly to help them pass gas. In our case, when our daughter was entirely breast fed, my wife had to give up milk for a while as it would end with an upset baby. But in all this, just accept that sometimes you're never gonna have a right answer, as there isn't one, so just be there for your baby, and try to take solace in the knowledge that someday soon this'll all be in the past.
And if you need to talk, don't hesitate to PM, I remember distinctly how hard those first three or four months were.
Edit: I'm actually going to add this excerpt from that period of PURPLE crying site, because I feel it's very relevant for you:
Have you ever come home from work to a screaming infant and wondered why they are always crying when you come home? Have you ever thought that your baby was crying because he/she just didn't like you? Have you ever felt inadequate as a father because you couldn't get your baby to stop crying? If you answered yes to any of these then rest assured that you're not alone. Many fathers have thoughts very similar to these when caring for their crying baby. The important thing to know, however, is that your baby's crying has nothing to do with you as a father. Many new fathers are surprised to learn that all infants go through a phase of increased crying which begins around two weeks of age, peaks at about two months and eventually levels off by about four-five months. This developmental stage in a baby’s life is called the Period of PURPLE Crying and it is normal. Some babies cry a lot and some not very much but they all go through this stage in the first few months of life.
This increased crying, which is normal, can be particularly stressful for new fathers. In addition to each of your many other responsibilities, you are now responsible for caring for and providing for your infant and when you get the impression that your baby doesn't want you or isn't happy to see you, this can add to the stress and frustration you may already be feeling from other things in your life.
What you need to know though is that this increased crying your baby is going through isn't triggered by you. It is a normal developmental stage that research has shown, amongst other things, is most likely to occur in the late afternoon and evenings, very likely around the same time you might be returning home from work. So, while you may attribute your baby's crying to you or something you are doing you can rest assured that it has nothing to do with you at all.
Josh hit the high points, but the only thing I'd add is this:
If they're super upset, you have to first match their energy level to get their attention (think really loud shushing and quick swings or bouncing and/or context switches by moving rooms). Now that you've got their attention, start to slowly turn the dial down and they'll turn it down with you. If you don't grab their attention, basically anything you do won't be noticed.
Also around breastfeeding - I wish I had that weight loss plan (not really). My wife ate way more than me and lost 10-15 lbs during that whole process. Constantly hungry and thirsty though. She also got super fatigued from just producing the milk.
Are there any dads here that had a hell of a time getting their kids to calm down? And if so, did you find anything that worked?
I was watching our two-month old a few periods this weekend while mom got some time to herself/finished up some work stuff, and each time he went from peaceful to world-ending crying very quickly. I tried just about every comforting thing I could think of, and nothing seemed to work. It happens while he's awake sometimes, and always when I try to put him down for a nap/bedtime. Near the end of last night's 20 minute outburst it took a real effort for me not to break down in front of him, which would have only made things worse. And it seems that when he starts fussing/crying while she's there, she gets him soothed in a couple of minutes, tops.
My daughter wouldn't calm down unless I walked her around the house. Sometimes it would take an hour at 3am to get her out. It was hard both physically and mentally. But Joshmvii is right, start with the checklist first, solves most problems.
Though there was once where my oldest daughter screamed bloody murder for about 15 minutes straight and we couldn't figure out why until we realized she just didn't want socks in her feet, and she was fine as soon as we removed them. But 99% of the time it was those first four things.
Wow, this was my daughter too a few weeks ago. Sockless ever since! I'm raising a hippie!
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FaranguI am a beardy manWith a beardy planRegistered Userregular
Man I remember giving the PURPLE site a glance about 6 months ago and thinking that it couldn't be as bad as they were making it out to be.
I was wrong. Its really helpful to come back to it now, I had clean forgotten about it. Thanks to all for the advice.
I've been blessed, I had expected a period of purple crying, but nothing so far. She cries when she's tired, dirty, hungry, or wants snuggles. Other than that, she's as happy as a clam.
Unless I'm on the phone with my parents, then she cries bloody murder, I swear she does it on purpose.
A funny thing right now is that she has a bald spot due to her laying down, but the surrounding hair is getting long. Soon she'll be able to have a combover.
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unless the baby poops while in the mom still and then emergency c-section time
woo woo
Not sure if I've told this story here before, but my daughter actually peed into my wife's opened abdomen while being removed via C-Section.
Babies are exciting!
Doctor's told us it would fall off.
6 and 8 years later we're still waiting.
43 is doing great, he is learning to run and he can say "thank you!"
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also we found out conceivably baby number 2 exists and is at 5 weeks. We're going for a dating ultrasound at 7 weeks. Normally this is no big deal but we had 2 miss carriages the first time and i'm stressed about the whole thing.
so in 2 weeks we'll know if it's viable and what not but there's a good chance we're having another baby. Wife had major nausea this morning.
ugh. what was I thinking
but also
babies are the worst!
Is this normal? A Growth spurt? Rough phase?
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Ours does it too, and is 6 months now but she started around same time. Teeth related from what i understand.
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Some of them say one thing, some say another and still some a third thing. The lack of overall consistency was so very very frustrating.
I've got to get a big write up done over the next day or so. There were things that I'm glad I did, things that I'd definitely change.
but overall it was a positive experience and I've got the most amazing little girl and the most insane future along the way.
She's just amazing, you guys. So very very amazing.
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We did slightly better the second time, where there was a better coherent consistent message thanks to being in a unit with dedicated lactation consultants who, you know, specialise in that and make the whole unit step in line.
Every baby is different (some like swaddling, some don't, some hate being on belly some crawl in a couple of months, some fall asleep easily, some need a ton of white noise. Etc...).
So what happens is you get people who had a set of techniques with for them (turn then sideways and shush in their ear) and really well too, who then assume every baby works that way. This is why you will get conflicting (solicited and otherwise) advice from every person you meet/book you read. All the advice is true! Just not necessarily for *your* baby.
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rex has slept in his own bedroom from 7:30 - 6:30 every night. he woke up once at around 11:30, probably from a bad dream, and had a hard time getting back to sleep because he was excited about frogs. otherwise he's been so good despite the change, and not having us in the room if anything seems to make him sleep better. he doesn't use his room that much yet for play, but he'll grow into it i'm sure
we have a backyard now. a dining table. a barbecue. a car space. a bath! i feel like a family guy.
rex got a bike! (sorry for fb mobile quality)
Woa, I'd have ripped the phone out of his hand and casually taken it to the sink and drown it in hospital water. I applaud your restraint.
Two weeks ago this was all very hypothetical. But that one was a good fortnight early and I am now aware that we are slowly creeping up the probability curve
At last count, we have something like 2600 ounces stored at our house. We literally have an entire stand-alone freezer that is full of breastmilk.
Plus another 600+ ounces at her parents' house.
Wow, that's amazing. We were barely 1 week ahead of our kiddo's appetite, despite constant pumping.
She's finally cut down to just pumping 2x a day, but now the baby (~8 months) is eating way less milk due to getting entrenched with solids, so she still ends up a couple days ahead.
But at least now we're freezing 4-6 bags/week instead of 24+ like we were at the peak of it.
Does your wife have an udder? That seems like a ton of milk!
She is fortunate to not have any supply issues, and she was very fastidious about pumping regularly. She also pumped exclusively due to some early breastfeeding issues and pain, which meant that her body thought that the baby was really hungry. It also turns out that producing like 100 ounces of milk a day is a really strong weight loss plan.
I ask this out of genuine ignorance and not as a joke: Is it possible to get dehydrated from producing too much milk?
If you don't up your intake, I would think so, though at a certain point I imagine your supply will start reducing on its own if you are regularly dehydrated.
So, here I am, 21 days after sending in the paperwork, having to go to the ss office. 10 days for the card, and theoretically 3 more weeks after I send in the paperwork to get the money.
Fuck NJ.
Speaking from some experience with my wife whose supply was not so great, being properly hydrated is critical to keeping her supply up, and she deliberately drinks a bit more water now to ensure that doesn't affect her.
Are there any dads here that had a hell of a time getting their kids to calm down? And if so, did you find anything that worked?
I was watching our two-month old a few periods this weekend while mom got some time to herself/finished up some work stuff, and each time he went from peaceful to world-ending crying very quickly. I tried just about every comforting thing I could think of, and nothing seemed to work. It happens while he's awake sometimes, and always when I try to put him down for a nap/bedtime. Near the end of last night's 20 minute outburst it took a real effort for me not to break down in front of him, which would have only made things worse. And it seems that when he starts fussing/crying while she's there, she gets him soothed in a couple of minutes, tops.
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1) They're hungry
2) Their diaper is dirty
3) They're tired
4) They're gassy
99% of baby situations were solved by going through that checklist when my girls were that small. I'd try to feed them and see if they'd take it(though this was usually mom nursing, we didn't give them many bottles). I'd make sure the diaper was clean and change it if needed. I'd try to help the baby go to sleep, which often involves more work than you'd think, standing up, rocking, etc. Both my daughters were pains in the ass who would scream and fuss if you tried to sit down and rock them to sleep, but would be fine if you stood. I don't know why they cared other than to make us do more work. =P And then if they were gassy I'd try to burp them and what not, but we had to go to the little natural gas drops too which really helped at times.
Though there was once where my oldest daughter screamed bloody murder for about 15 minutes straight and we couldn't figure out why until we realized she just didn't want socks on her feet, and she was fine as soon as we removed them. But 99% of the time it was those first four things.
You said it happens when you put the baby down too. I'd just suggest trying to make sure the baby is fully asleep before putting them down. Even then, if he's like our girls, they just woke up when you'd try to put them down even if they WERE asleep, so we ended up holding them a lot. Don't listen to people who say holding a newborn all the time will spoil them, heh. Babies just need their parents a lot. If you got a kid who will chill and sleep on their own all the time at 8 weeks, great. But if not, it's not fair to the baby to just put them down and let them scream until they pass out from exhaustion, because they don't understand anything other than their very basic needs at that age.
Hey, I've got an almost seventeen month old daughter, I'll weigh in.
For the next while little while, you're going to be playing second-fiddle as a parent. This is because in large part, you don't have two feeding sacks you can deploy at will, and food's just about the most important thing to a baby that age. Also crying for no reason is kind of a thing that babies do at that age, starting around two weeks and up through three or four months. This is often referred to as the period of PURPLE crying, PURPLE's an acronym and you can get more information here. I encourage you to consult that site and read/watch their info, we found it helpful during this time.
For one, soothing a baby is a learned skill, and different things will work at different times, so keep trying. Go skin to skin with the baby, climate permitting. Not only will it help regulate the baby's temperature, it'll stimulate the production of oxytocin in both of you, helping you form that bond. If she falls asleep on you, it's totally fine to just hold her while she sleeps provided you're awake. Baby's are pretty oblivious to sounds at that age, so relax in a chair and toss on Netflix. Or take up something you can play one-handed (Hearthstone was my choice back in the day). Ours always took longer naps on a person than if she was put down.
Secondly, sometimes you just can't sooth 'em. You can run the list (hungry? diaper? sick? teething? tired?), but sometimes a baby's just going to cry. You need to learn to accept that, and continue to provide the comfort and support you can, and to take a break when you need to. A common refrain during this period is that if you're reaching your breaking point, and there's no one else to take the baby, you can just put the baby down somewhere safe like their crib, step outside, and take a 5 minute break to regain your composure. This is ultimately safer for everyone in the long run.
Thirdly, if you're noticing a lot of crying at naps/bedtime, it might be because the baby's getting overtired. At that age you can only start to see hints of a sort of schedule emerge, mostly it comes down to how long they've been awake. I think for our daughter it was like, 1.5 hours max and she needed a nap. As they get older, the naps'll start to standardize into more of a routine, and it will get easier.
Finally fourthly, just keep trying stuff to see if it makes things better or worse. For example, a guaranteed way to provoke sleep for mine was a walk in the stroller or a ride in the car. Does your kid startle themselves awake? Try swaddling. Do they hate being swaddled? Don't do it. Do they seem like they're gassy? You can try bicycling their legs or rubbing their belly to help them pass gas. In our case, when our daughter was entirely breast fed, my wife had to give up milk for a while as it would end with an upset baby. But in all this, just accept that sometimes you're never gonna have a right answer, as there isn't one, so just be there for your baby, and try to take solace in the knowledge that someday soon this'll all be in the past.
And if you need to talk, don't hesitate to PM, I remember distinctly how hard those first three or four months were.
Edit: I'm actually going to add this excerpt from that period of PURPLE crying site, because I feel it's very relevant for you:
If they're super upset, you have to first match their energy level to get their attention (think really loud shushing and quick swings or bouncing and/or context switches by moving rooms). Now that you've got their attention, start to slowly turn the dial down and they'll turn it down with you. If you don't grab their attention, basically anything you do won't be noticed.
Also around breastfeeding - I wish I had that weight loss plan (not really). My wife ate way more than me and lost 10-15 lbs during that whole process. Constantly hungry and thirsty though. She also got super fatigued from just producing the milk.
My daughter wouldn't calm down unless I walked her around the house. Sometimes it would take an hour at 3am to get her out. It was hard both physically and mentally. But Joshmvii is right, start with the checklist first, solves most problems.
Wow, this was my daughter too a few weeks ago. Sockless ever since! I'm raising a hippie!
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I was wrong. Its really helpful to come back to it now, I had clean forgotten about it. Thanks to all for the advice.
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Unless I'm on the phone with my parents, then she cries bloody murder, I swear she does it on purpose.
A funny thing right now is that she has a bald spot due to her laying down, but the surrounding hair is getting long. Soon she'll be able to have a combover.
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