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Let's talk about [Autism]

12346

Posts

  • CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    cabsy wrote: »
    Coinage wrote: »
    Coinage wrote: »
    Hello everyone, I'm only mildly on the spectrum.
    Muzzmuzz wrote: »
    I totally understand why people on the high functioning end would dislike the fact that people want to 'cure' them. Kinda like the deaf community.
    The deaf community is kind of crazy, though.
    Deaf people have a long history of being institutionalized and eradicated. They have perfectly good reasons for not wanting to join hearing normative society.
    And that's fine, but denying children a cochlear implant because of deaf culture is not cool. And I know that doesn't reflect the views of all deaf people, I shouldn't have made such a general statement, but that's not the topic of the thread anyway.

    what a vast oversimplification of a complex discussion about the validity of deaf culture and the fact that the 'norm' should be wider and more accepting rather than performing surgeries which may not work on an infant in the hopes of making sure they can be 'normal' rather than promoting more frequent usage of sign language, particularly by creating a spectre of some widespread denial of cochlear implants rather than some parents deciding that they would rather wait until their child can have informed consent about the procedure because they don't feel like their child's deafness is something terrible that needs to be 'fixed'

    I'd argue that the issue is even more complex than that. When you 'gain' a sense later on in your life, it doesn't work the same way, or as well, as if you 'gained' it as an infant. Then there are people like me who just can't learn sign language regardless of how accepting we are, and issues of poor parents lacking education and resources which could, depending on how insurance works, impact the decision one way or another. And on top of that you've got science getting more and more advanced so is it better to wait for better less invasive technology or instead opt for technology that makes communication easier?

    Then there are the ways this discussion carries over to the disabled community as a whole, which make things even more complicated. Really, I'm not sure there's a clear answer to any of this at the moment.

    -Tal
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    In either case, I'm not really that cool with calling deaf people "crazy"

    cabsy-TalCreaganLucedesDoobhUsagiDonovan PuppyfuckerVegemyteGoatmonCorehealermasterofmetroid
  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    You know what's amazing? Blind kids that develop echolocation by making clicking noises.

    You know what's not amazing? Their parents telling them to stop making those stupid noises because it's not normal and they never learn echolocation.

    -TalcabsyBedlamSilverWindCreaganDoobhUsagiVegemyteAnialosProlegomenaRainfallmasterofmetroidZilla360Bé ChuilleCalicaMill
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dubh have you seen Mary and Max?

    Just hearing you say these things brings to mind a couple of scenes from the film, where Max has near meltdowns when reading Mary's letters, among other things.

    I've mentioned it already in this thread, but I can't help but bring it up when it feels appropriate.
    !

    Someone posted a youtube trailer a bit ago and I wanted to watch this movie. Except when I went to look for it at the library I kept thinking it was called "Max and Ruby" which is a different thing. And trying to google a thing when you are remembering it wrong would be a nightmare.

    So I just wanted to say thanks Goatmon for mentioning it so I know what its actually called now.

    GoatmonHellaJeffMagic Pink
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    In general thread related stuff there was a lady last year that asked me if I had autism. She said her son had autism and she didn't mean it as an insult but sometimes people say things that ping in my brain and make me wonder. I was wondering if there was a test or something I could take knowing full well that it would mostly be for funsies and not a true indication.

    I know I definitely have Anxiety/Depression issues so things like "not reading social cues" sometimes fit for me.

  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    Here's the old aspergers symptom list for Munkus:

    (I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
    (A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
    (B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
    (C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
    (D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

    (II) Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
    (A) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
    (B) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
    (C) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
    (D) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

    See, I don't think I have autism, and especially not now, but looking at that list I would have been diagnosed as having autism as a child INSTEAD OF ADHD.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I do have social anxiety which is only fixable via Xanax it seems.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    Here's the old aspergers symptom list for Munkus:

    (I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
    (A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
    (B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
    (C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
    (D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

    (II) Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
    (A) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
    (B) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
    (C) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
    (D) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

    See, I don't think I have autism, and especially not now, but looking at that list I would have been diagnosed as having autism as a child INSTEAD OF ADHD.

    ADHD and autism have massive symptom overlap, I hesitate to say that I am on the autism spectrum precisely because of that huge overlap, I know a lot of laypeople discuss whether or not adhd should be roped in to the enormously broad category of ASD. Most white kids who are misdiagnosed are either ADHD misdxed with ASD or ASD misdxed with ADHD, while poc with ASD get misdxed with... far less pleasant things. You can also have both at once! This is further complicated by incredibly dumb shit providers do, like one of the providers I worked with at my county internship refused to dx anyone with autism unless they had an average or higher IQ, and I am currently facing issues with getting any kind of diagnosis at all because "well if you got a 3.9 in the past, it really doesn't sound like you could have anything but anxiety"

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    ShadowhopeSomestickguyDoobhAnialosAndy JoeGoatmon
  • ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    Yep, I have that too.

    Given enough time knowing someone, I can recognize people. Casual acquaintances though? Nope. It helps immensely if they're really distinctive looking.

    Although I don't get mad at all, when I don't know someone, I just get embarrassed.

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    Yep, I have that too.

    Given enough time knowing someone, I can recognize people. Casual acquaintances though? Nope. It helps immensely if they're really distinctive looking.

    Although I don't get mad at all, when I don't know someone, I just get embarrassed.

    I get angry because it's a natural reaction to getting embarrassed. It's like, say your name when I have that confused look on your face, and not recognizing you isn't an invitation to play "this is your life"

    cabsy
  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    That reminds me of an experience I ended up writing about in my personal experience writeup:
    A month or two ago, I was walking back from shopping, and was nearing my flat when I felt a tap on my back. I turn around to see a familiar face, but… goodness. Where do I know her from? What’s her name? I can’t just guess. That’d look ten times worse for me if I got it wrong. Crap. I wasn’t prepared for this, I came out to get some shopping. A test of memory and a conversation were not on the cards! Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. Uhhhhhhhhhh….

    Such was my thought process as we proceeded to have our short but incredibly awkward conversation. From the way she later paraphrased my side, I came off incredibly cold and dismissive. Nothing could have been further from my intentions. I was just trying to figure out who she was and how I knew her. The fact that I had forgotten her name didn’t mean that I didn’t care. In fact, as I realised to my horror the moment I stepped into my flat, I’d registered her name perfectly well- quite an uncommon occurrence after only a few conversations. I just couldn’t pull it out at that moment of pressure. Additionally, while I was trying to deal with the problems I could notice, she was seeing the problems that I couldn’t. I’m just not conscious of my irregular behaviour sometimes. On occasion I hear about things I’ve done in the past and they completely mystify me. Who would do that? Well, I would, without any immediate awareness that I’m acting strange. As for this occasion, I immediately messaged her on Facebook to apologise, but to some extent the damage was already done.

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    oh gooooooooooooood I hate it when this happens

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    Metalbournecabsy
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    oh gooooooooooooood I hate it when this happens

    Funny thing is that I walked into a coffee shop and thought I saw somebody I was supposed to recognize but didn't. It was false alarm but my anxiety was already running full swing. Writing about it really seemed to help.

    I should just white a book about myself being awkward and taking it out on people.

  • ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    Yep, I have that too.

    Given enough time knowing someone, I can recognize people. Casual acquaintances though? Nope. It helps immensely if they're really distinctive looking.

    Although I don't get mad at all, when I don't know someone, I just get embarrassed.

    I get angry because it's a natural reaction to getting embarrassed. It's like, say your name when I have that confused look on your face, and not recognizing you isn't an invitation to play "this is your life"

    I very rarely get angry.

    I'm 6'3, and very solidly built. When I get angry, people get scared. That emotion, I can read.

    So, I do my best to avoid getting angry. I'd rather just be embarrassed than to be embarrassed while the other person is afraid.

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    Yep, I have that too.

    Given enough time knowing someone, I can recognize people. Casual acquaintances though? Nope. It helps immensely if they're really distinctive looking.

    Although I don't get mad at all, when I don't know someone, I just get embarrassed.

    I get angry because it's a natural reaction to getting embarrassed. It's like, say your name when I have that confused look on your face, and not recognizing you isn't an invitation to play "this is your life"

    I very rarely get angry.

    I'm 6'3, and very solidly built. When I get angry, people get scared. That emotion, I can read.

    So, I do my best to avoid getting angry. I'd rather just be embarrassed than to be embarrassed while the other person is afraid.

    Yeah for me it's at the times where I can no longer direct it inward I direct it outward. I'm really working on just trying to accept that is okay to feel embarrassed sometimes our that things aren't as bad as they seem in my head, but being in public is already a huge drain on me. Not being able to recognize someone I should is worse and the hurt feelings response I get after it all is said and done just tops it off.

    cabsy
  • Albino BunnyAlbino Bunny Jackie Registered User regular
    Hey thread, figured I'd pop in. I'm autistic and it has some annoying effects on life even if it's led to alot of appreciation for being able to see things from different angles.

    Also for anyone based in the UK there's a fantastic support/social group I go to every Wednesday called Aspies into Everything that's pretty great as a way to get out and chatting to people with similar problems.

  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    The only reason I bring this up is because I know this is a problem that a lot of autistic people seem to share. I'm pretty much face blind so every once in a while I'll run into a stranger who knows me. The worst thing is when I walk into a place and they'll start beconing at me. I'll look around because they just have to be waving at someone else.
    "You, silly, I'm waving at you"
    "Oh. Uhm. Hey. What's up? "
    "Oh you know. What are you doing in this part of town? "
    "I uhh. Sorry I don't know who you are"
    SHOCK "Are you serious? We've known each other for years! "
    "Yes I'm serious"
    "We were at your sisters wedding? "
    "BUT WHAT IS YOUR NAME? "
    And now I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Well it was nice talking but now my a anxiety is telling me to get really pissed at you for expecting me to follow social conventions so bye, asshole! "
    "I'm sorry I thought you were joking! "
    "Go fuck yourself! "

    That reminds me of an experience I ended up writing about in my personal experience writeup:
    A month or two ago, I was walking back from shopping, and was nearing my flat when I felt a tap on my back. I turn around to see a familiar face, but… goodness. Where do I know her from? What’s her name? I can’t just guess. That’d look ten times worse for me if I got it wrong. Crap. I wasn’t prepared for this, I came out to get some shopping. A test of memory and a conversation were not on the cards! Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. Uhhhhhhhhhh….

    Such was my thought process as we proceeded to have our short but incredibly awkward conversation. From the way she later paraphrased my side, I came off incredibly cold and dismissive. Nothing could have been further from my intentions. I was just trying to figure out who she was and how I knew her. The fact that I had forgotten her name didn’t mean that I didn’t care. In fact, as I realised to my horror the moment I stepped into my flat, I’d registered her name perfectly well- quite an uncommon occurrence after only a few conversations. I just couldn’t pull it out at that moment of pressure. Additionally, while I was trying to deal with the problems I could notice, she was seeing the problems that I couldn’t. I’m just not conscious of my irregular behaviour sometimes. On occasion I hear about things I’ve done in the past and they completely mystify me. Who would do that? Well, I would, without any immediate awareness that I’m acting strange. As for this occasion, I immediately messaged her on Facebook to apologise, but to some extent the damage was already done.

    It's so weird, because I am perfectly split down the middle on this - some people I meet once and recognize their face and can parrot back our entire social interaction that lasted all of four minutes six years ago, and some people I can spend days in their company and the next time they talk to me at BEST I'm like 'ooooooh I know I know this person' and at worst I wonder if they're fucking with me because I would solemnly swear I've never met them before? At pax east once this guy came HAULING ASS across the New England Aquarium chirping my name and grabbed me in a huge hug and introduced me to his wife and said he had missed me so much and he was so glad to get to see me again! And the entire time I'm completely blank inside my brain. I still to this day would say that I had never met that guy before. I have zero recollection of ever even talking to him except in that moment where he confused the shit out of me. And he never told me his name, because normal people would have remembered it, clearly. And nobody in the group of people who were with me had ever met him before either. And it is still, like, was this guy fucking with me? I still genuinely do not know! I don't know why he would.

    MetalbourneShadowhope
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    Oh and to double post I guess, now that I think about it I guess it happens more than I really realize. I spent over a year working with a woman who recommended me for promotion twice because we had a class together in high school and she remembered me as incredibly smart and talented. I don't remember her at all. I went to a high school of four hundred students, so it's not like it was such a large school that I could easily have forgotten her. Our class would have been at most 25 students and we would have been in the same class for at least 5 months. After the first three times she asked me if I remembered having class together I just lied and said I finally remembered, which meant I got to spend the next year plus pretending to remember how we had the same class together. And it wasn't like this was a long time after high school, it was when I was 19.

    Metalbourne
  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    Being slightly face-blind + shitty vision in general = wheeeee

    Started wearing glasses in December and oh god now I can actually recognize people at ten meters without thinking "Is that my buddy? Should I smile and approach? Or is it a stranger I should ignore?"

    Goatmon
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Body language and general fashion sense go way father for me than trying to recognize faces.

    ShadowhopeDoobhCorehealer
  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    I've had more than a few encounters with people who apparently knew me in high school

    I remember the name, and face, of exactly one person I knew in high school

    This includes my circle of "friends"

    Somestickguy on
    cabsy
  • ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Something about me that always surprises people when they find out, and sort of confuses people that know me, is the extent to which I like travelling overseas alone.

    What's difficult for some people to understand is that trips like that (alone, overseas) are absolutely perfect for me, the most comfortable thing possible. Virtually every single social interaction is along forms that are easy to learn and very straightforward. Going through customs? Present passport, answer questions directly and honestly. Checking into a hotel? Once you've done it once or twice, it's a very predictable interaction. Tours guides and ushers and historical interpreters, stewards and drivers, it's all very straightforward and easy. Even if someone gets to chatting about where I'm from, there's a dozen easy topics. No complicated social interactions, no need to worry about not recognizing people, the freedom to set my own schedules and to need not worry about someone else's plans impacting mine. If I do say something weird or embarrassing, it'll have no effect on me back home.

    Shadowhope on
    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
    MetalbourneBertezBertezDead LegendNartwakDesert Leviathan
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    Body language and general fashion sense go way father for me than trying to recognize faces.

    For me it's voices.

    Of course, I'm extremely audiocentric, so that's no surprise.

    (shut up chrome; that's totally a word, I swear)

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Also I don't have a big problem with faces, but I am the WORST with names.

    Like, I sometimes can remember a name if the person really stands out to me, or something like that. But otherwise? If I don't see them often, their name is GONE.

    This happened one time with a roommate who started having a couple friends over and I kept having to ask for their names.

    This wouldn't be so bad except they were both black and I kept feeling like a racist asshole.

    Eventually one time they came over, and I'm like "Hey, I got it this time"

    (don't fuck it up, Daniel, you can do this)

    "You're Brian and Kevin, yeah?"

    "Yep"

    (yessssss)

    "But which of us is which?"

    (FUCK!)

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


    WyvernCreaganMetalbourneNoisymunk
  • ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Also I don't have a big problem with faces, but I am the WORST with names.

    Like, I sometimes can remember a name if the person really stands out to me, or something like that. But otherwise? If I don't see them often, their name is GONE.

    This happened one time with a roommate who started having a couple friends over and I kept having to ask for their names.

    This wouldn't be so bad except they were both black and I kept feeling like a racist asshole.

    Eventually one time they came over, and I'm like "Hey, I got it this time"

    (don't fuck it up, Daniel, you can do this)

    "You're Brian and Kevin, yeah?"

    "Yep"

    (yessssss)

    "But which of us is which?"

    (FUCK!)

    One reason for which I like diversity in television and movies: it really helps me keep people straight. When there's white man A, white man B, white man C, white man D, and white man E, I have a lot difficulty figuring out who is who. If you have white man, Asian woman, white woman, black woman, black man, then I'm a lot more likely to be able to keep track of who everyone is.

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Also I don't have a big problem with faces, but I am the WORST with names.

    Like, I sometimes can remember a name if the person really stands out to me, or something like that. But otherwise? If I don't see them often, their name is GONE.

    This happened one time with a roommate who started having a couple friends over and I kept having to ask for their names.

    This wouldn't be so bad except they were both black and I kept feeling like a racist asshole.

    Eventually one time they came over, and I'm like "Hey, I got it this time"

    (don't fuck it up, Daniel, you can do this)

    "You're Brian and Kevin, yeah?"

    "Yep"

    (yessssss)

    "But which of us is which?"

    (FUCK!)

    One reason for which I like diversity in television and movies: it really helps me keep people straight. When there's white man A, white man B, white man C, white man D, and white man E, I have a lot difficulty figuring out who is who. If you have white man, Asian woman, white woman, black woman, black man, then I'm a lot more likely to be able to keep track of who everyone is.

    my psych professor, a white woman who describes herself as "a funny looking kid" and who is almost certainly either ASD or ADHD, said she loves having students who aren't white in her classes because she's almost entirely face blind and goes primarily on hair and hair styles and skin color. I mean she then proceeded to kind of micro aggression all over the place but before that she was cracking us up because she was like oh god skinny little blonde white girls?? How do you tell them all apart?? Do you have a system? There are so many of them here! Or skinny brunette girls - basically if you're white and skinny I have no idea who you are I'm so sorry

    she then picked one girl out of our class (white, skinny, brunette) and said but I know you! You were in my psych 101 class, right? "No, I've never taken a class with you before" but I know you! How do I know you?? "... You've been my advisor for over two years"

  • CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    I have a problem remembering names too. I'll remember the first letter and one of the sounds in the name, usually. But I tend to confuse names that start with the same letter, or names with words that start with the same letter. Like, for the first three days my freshman year of high school, I thought my teacher had introduced himself as "Mr. Skank." Luckily by then I had already adopted my habit of refusing to call people by their names for the first few days I know them, so I never actually called my art teacher that. (His last name was actually "Shrink.")

    The worst part is, I can know a person for six months and then for basically no reason, suddenly confuse their name with somebody else's and become completely incapable of calling them by the correct name. When I was a senior in high school, it happened towards the end of the year with two guys from my Great Books class. Everybody was baffled because not only had I had no problem with their names for most of the year, but these guys looked nothing alike. Ari was bald, chubby, and white. Annish was a skinny Indian dude whose hair touched his shoulders. They sat at opposite sides of the room, and hated each other.

    Metalbournecabsy
  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie beautiful clydesdale style feet too hot to trotRegistered User regular
    ive been watching these videos
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXM9Mj5Zd7I

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
    AnialosDoobh
  • SkwigelfSkwigelf Passed out in a cloud of farts and cigarette smoke.Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    I would like money to help sort out my sorry existence

    Like, hey, right now I am bed ridden for the day because I make a social mistake earlier

    So, really, fuck anyone using it as a platform for whatever shit runs through their brain

    Ugh. God, I know this feeling.

    Realizing I said the wrong thing somewhere, and just getting that sinking feeling in my chest, and suddenly everything just kinda turns upside down and I don't wanna deal.

    Just the worst.

    This is precisely the reason I'm reading through this thread(and bumping it in case anyone else wants to continue the conversation).

    I recently stuck both my feet and much of my legs into my mouth in a post earlier today. I tried moving on with my day but I am unable to. I'm playing video games and instead of thinking about which quest I should do next or whether I should craft some new gear, I am thinking about what I said and peoples responses to it. Then I remember Metalbourne's response to a post I made in the TG thread wherein she basically stated to me "If it made you feel like shit, that's a good thing. It means you know something is wrong and that you need to correct it."(of course, maybe I misread her post and she was saying something completely different. I tend to do that).

    Basically, I hate offending people or having people be angry at me. I lose sleep over it. There was a time, years ago, where I would argue and try and defend myself, but I found that usually made it worse since I'm rubbish at articulating my thoughts into coherent words and sentences when I'm worked up by something. So now I retreat into myself and remove myself from the situation. Honestly, this is probably just as bad.

    While I'm walking around my house with my family or when I'm at work I can put on an act like everything is fine, but inside I'm shaking.

  • cr0wcr0w Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    I do that a lot. I dunno if anyone's ever seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I am basically Larry David from that show. I say/do something stupid, which deservedly upsets someone, and I then try to explain myself, which I'm terrible at, and in the process I make things worse. Then I try to apologize and explain why I can't explain myself, at which point everyone is like, "SHUT THE FUCK UP", and I finally see that I should just follow the "shut the fuck up" advice and not say anything at all, ever.

    Then I stew on it for three days and make myself feel really badly for even opening my mouth in the first place.

  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    Skwigelf wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    I would like money to help sort out my sorry existence

    Like, hey, right now I am bed ridden for the day because I make a social mistake earlier

    So, really, fuck anyone using it as a platform for whatever shit runs through their brain

    Ugh. God, I know this feeling.

    Realizing I said the wrong thing somewhere, and just getting that sinking feeling in my chest, and suddenly everything just kinda turns upside down and I don't wanna deal.

    Just the worst.

    This is precisely the reason I'm reading through this thread(and bumping it in case anyone else wants to continue the conversation).

    I recently stuck both my feet and much of my legs into my mouth in a post earlier today. I tried moving on with my day but I am unable to. I'm playing video games and instead of thinking about which quest I should do next or whether I should craft some new gear, I am thinking about what I said and peoples responses to it. Then I remember Metalbourne's response to a post I made in the TG thread wherein she basically stated to me "If it made you feel like shit, that's a good thing. It means you know something is wrong and that you need to correct it."(of course, maybe I misread her post and she was saying something completely different. I tend to do that).

    Basically, I hate offending people or having people be angry at me. I lose sleep over it. There was a time, years ago, where I would argue and try and defend myself, but I found that usually made it worse since I'm rubbish at articulating my thoughts into coherent words and sentences when I'm worked up by something. So now I retreat into myself and remove myself from the situation. Honestly, this is probably just as bad.

    While I'm walking around my house with my family or when I'm at work I can put on an act like everything is fine, but inside I'm shaking.

    Sometimes just bouncing your thoughts off on someone else can help you understand them better, and find out why something particularly bothers you, and work towards how to deal with it.

    This is why it's good to have a therapist or some such that you can talk to.

    Or at least a friend who is a good listener.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


    Creagan
  • CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    The trick is to figure out when you're actually putting your foot in your mouth and/or misreading a social situation, and when people are telling you that you screwed up because they don't want to admit something just happened and are taking advantage of your reputation for being socially awkward.

    In other words, I recently realized (largely thanks to SE) that my younger sisters have had me convinced that if I display any sign of confidence I'm acting like a horrible person who always has to be right and being mean and patronizing. (Which is interesting, considering how often they complain that I'm "too submissive.")

    GoatmonMetalbournecabsyCorehealer
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    My Mom used to do that whenever I wouldn't back down on an argument.

    If it went on long enough she'd go low and say "You're just like your father."

    Like, straight out of a Bill Burr routine.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNSt3wJXZk0

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Skwigelf wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    I would like money to help sort out my sorry existence

    Like, hey, right now I am bed ridden for the day because I make a social mistake earlier

    So, really, fuck anyone using it as a platform for whatever shit runs through their brain

    Ugh. God, I know this feeling.

    Realizing I said the wrong thing somewhere, and just getting that sinking feeling in my chest, and suddenly everything just kinda turns upside down and I don't wanna deal.

    Just the worst.

    This is precisely the reason I'm reading through this thread(and bumping it in case anyone else wants to continue the conversation).

    I recently stuck both my feet and much of my legs into my mouth in a post earlier today. I tried moving on with my day but I am unable to. I'm playing video games and instead of thinking about which quest I should do next or whether I should craft some new gear, I am thinking about what I said and peoples responses to it. Then I remember Metalbourne's response to a post I made in the TG thread wherein she basically stated to me "If it made you feel like shit, that's a good thing. It means you know something is wrong and that you need to correct it."(of course, maybe I misread her post and she was saying something completely different. I tend to do that).

    Basically, I hate offending people or having people be angry at me. I lose sleep over it. There was a time, years ago, where I would argue and try and defend myself, but I found that usually made it worse since I'm rubbish at articulating my thoughts into coherent words and sentences when I'm worked up by something. So now I retreat into myself and remove myself from the situation. Honestly, this is probably just as bad.

    While I'm walking around my house with my family or when I'm at work I can put on an act like everything is fine, but inside I'm shaking.

    Sorry about that. I know what it feels like to say something, even if it's not even a bad thing, and have your brain torture you for it for the rest of the day. Or even longer. Torturing people with their own neuroses is totally not my intention and I apologize.

    Goatmon
  • SkwigelfSkwigelf Passed out in a cloud of farts and cigarette smoke.Registered User regular
    Skwigelf wrote: »
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    I would like money to help sort out my sorry existence

    Like, hey, right now I am bed ridden for the day because I make a social mistake earlier

    So, really, fuck anyone using it as a platform for whatever shit runs through their brain

    Ugh. God, I know this feeling.

    Realizing I said the wrong thing somewhere, and just getting that sinking feeling in my chest, and suddenly everything just kinda turns upside down and I don't wanna deal.

    Just the worst.

    This is precisely the reason I'm reading through this thread(and bumping it in case anyone else wants to continue the conversation).

    I recently stuck both my feet and much of my legs into my mouth in a post earlier today. I tried moving on with my day but I am unable to. I'm playing video games and instead of thinking about which quest I should do next or whether I should craft some new gear, I am thinking about what I said and peoples responses to it. Then I remember Metalbourne's response to a post I made in the TG thread wherein she basically stated to me "If it made you feel like shit, that's a good thing. It means you know something is wrong and that you need to correct it."(of course, maybe I misread her post and she was saying something completely different. I tend to do that).

    Basically, I hate offending people or having people be angry at me. I lose sleep over it. There was a time, years ago, where I would argue and try and defend myself, but I found that usually made it worse since I'm rubbish at articulating my thoughts into coherent words and sentences when I'm worked up by something. So now I retreat into myself and remove myself from the situation. Honestly, this is probably just as bad.

    While I'm walking around my house with my family or when I'm at work I can put on an act like everything is fine, but inside I'm shaking.

    Sorry about that. I know what it feels like to say something, even if it's not even a bad thing, and have your brain torture you for it for the rest of the day. Or even longer. Torturing people with their own neuroses is totally not my intention and I apologize.

    No need to apologize. Your post actually helped me out a bit.

    When I first read your post I was already having a bout of anxiety and wasn't thinking very coherently and was iffy on the meaning behind the words. It wasn't till about an hour or so after failing to fall asleep that I sussed out the 'deep hidden meaning' in your post(which I probably should have gotten when I first read it. Thanks, Brain!). I actually got out of bed, turned my computer back on, came here and then agreed with your post before turning it back off and going back to bed. IIRC I actually fell asleep fairly soon after that.

    The human brain works in strange ways. Sometimes the smallest things can set a person off, as well as calm them down.

    Thanks.

    MetalbourneShadowhope
  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    So... Recently I moved to Australia to start a year of study. It's a fairly new experience for me, to say the least, and just as I anticipated it's given me some more insight into how my autistic mind works.

    I figured it was as good a reason as any to start up a new feature on my blog. Take a look and let me know what you think! It's really challenging to write about my own thought process, but I reckon I gave it a fair shake. I already have a couple more experiences queued up to write about, so feedback would be appreciated!

    An Aspie Abroad: Autistic Anecdotes from Australia

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Hey, resurrecting this thread. My two, soon to be three year old neice may be autistic. She's being checked out by doctors.

  • SomestickguySomestickguy Registered User regular
    The other day I was in the library, overhearing a conversation between a group of friends about someone they knew. They were talking about how he was "retarded" and how he "must have Asperger's or something."

    I was angry, to say the least.

    RMS OceanicShadowhopeEchoGoatmonThe BetgirlAnialos
  • Albino BunnyAlbino Bunny Jackie Registered User regular
    The whole thing of using autism or aspies as the new version of retarded is fucking aggravating.

    YukiraShadowhopeBloodsheedEchoGoatmonThe BetgirlCorehealerAnialoscabsygrrmushaRMS OceanicSpeed Racer
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