[Family] Thread

Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond HubbardMordor XenuRegistered User regular
edited July 2015 in Social Entropy++
So.

People have families.

Families are made of individual people.

Sometimes, those people fuck up.

Sometimes the actual fuck-up itself is a new and improved level of fuckery.

This is a story about new and improved fuckery, the fuckery of a self-absorbed child masquerading as a twenty-three-year-old man.

My dad and stepmom live outside of Dallas in what is basically Mayberry, USA. For the last couple of years, they've tried various tactics of tough love, gentle persuasion and everything in between to guide my brother away from The Dark Side, but he feels that his chronic use of The Chronic is perfectly ok and the most toxic and manipulative she-devil spat out of Satan's dick is the love of his life.

Last Thursday, the oldest dog in the family had to be put down. Tinkerbell was the sweetest little black lab you've ever met and just about as genially goofy as a dog can be. It's definitely been a hard week or so for everyone, my youngest brother just had his heart broken, my dad is holding on to the mortgage by his fingernails and my stepmom has fibromyalgia that comes and goes in waves of horrendous pain. But all of that doesn't matter to my younger brother, what's important is that he gets away with smoking weed, playing WoW, fucking his succubus in his own mother's bed and generally doing whatever the fuck he wants and can get away with. Oh, he also barely has a job, dropped out of school (again) and lied to everyone about it.

Was he told not to bring weed in the house? No matter, let's smoke it in the youngest brother's room and try to pin it on either the Korean foreign exchange student or the eighteen-year-old with severe asthma.

Was he politely asked to keep the sex to his own bed? No matter, let's leave the condom on Dad's side of the bed.

When the family dog got put to sleep, he chose this opportunity to let everyone know how hard his life has been, how unfair the obstacles are for him, how things just keep happening to him to ruin his life. When it was pointed out that he lost his full ride scholarship to North Texas University because he never went to class because he was baked every day, he certainly made it a point to lose his goddamned mind, call his mother a 'bitch' to her face, encourage his sort-of girlfriend to tell his mother to 'get fucked' and generally make it known that he is leaving the family behind to do ... whatever fuckery he wants, I dunno.

The crowning jewel of his fuckery came about today; while the family was out, he decided to move all of his things ... somewhere ... but he decided to leave behind a little present in his mother's bed. It would be vaguely funny if somewhat gross and unoriginal if it had been a turd, but we got creative, didn't we?

Uncle DeeDubs, what was in the bed?

Well, children, it was a mannequin's head with a bleeding-red-Heath-Ledger-Joker smile (complete with knife marks) and eyes blackened with spray paint.

Fear not, the authorities have been notified, but there's little that can be done legally since it's not considered an 'overt threat.'

When I last spoke to Dad, he was at Home Depot, buying new deadbolts and window locks.

So I guess that in addition to my grandfather dying, my ex basically dumping me through apathy, I now have one less brother kinda-sorta.

Tell me, someone, anyone, what the fuck I should be feeling right now other than outright disgust?

Darth Waiter on
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  • YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Outright disgust is just right.

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Families can be the best thing and the worst thing in your life.

    My Dad did everything he could, short of actual abuse, to fuck up my life by being a ridiculous alcoholic and drug addict. You just haven't lived until you get to sit and watch your Dad crying in your house because he called and turned himself into the police because he has literally nowhere else to go and has a warrant out for his arrest for drunk driving.

    Or the time he disappeared for 6 months after inheriting like $20,0000. Before he disappeared he called and apologized he wouldn't be able to send me any because he was turning his life around and he put a year's rent down on a place and stuff.

    Then 6 months later he calls me to tell me he blew it all in a hotel room with hookers and blow.

    Woo, parents!

    That being said, it's molded me into the person I am and I use that to be the best god damn Dad I can be to my parents. I never had the family I wanted as a kid but I can provide that to my children.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
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  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type.

  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Hugs Deedubs <3

    I think disgust is totally appropriate, maybe also disappointment?

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  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    I used to have a close relationship with my sibling.

    that's mostly burned down in the year and a half since my mother passed away. It's not really about my mother's death, but that added stress to everything sure didn't help.



    I don't really know how to fix it. I miss my sibling. I've also hated most every interaction i've had with them in the last year.

    HellaJeff
  • MachwingMachwing It looks like a harmless old computer, doesn't it? Left in this cave to rot ... or to flower!Registered User regular
    Tell me, someone, anyone, what the fuck I should be feeling right now other than outright disgust?

    Many years ago, when my father was on chemotherapy and in very poor health, my brother's then-girlfriend (who had decided to live with us and generally be a horrible bitch of a human being) decided to take a shower. Now, this was at 3 in the morning and the shower abutted my parent's room, so my mother kindly asked her to get out of the goddamn shower as my father needed to get his sleep. Her response, of course, was that if losing a little sleep was enough to kill him, then it was his time to die anyway. She needed to feel clean, after all!

    My brother took her side.

    l3icwZV.png
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    @Darth Waiter I'd give you a hug round the shoulders right now, fella, if I could

    you got a right to be angry there, for sure. I hope your brother realises how he's hurt people and comes in from the cold, but it's more important right now for the rest of you guys to stick together and show each other the support and love you feel

    sucks that shit turned out like that, man :(

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Thanks, @Solar I mean it.

    What's really got my knickers in a twist is that the mannequin-head-thing is a HUGE departure from hippy-dippy-pothead behavior, strolls well over the line and does an endzone dance into sociopathic territory. Thankfully, the Korean foreign-exchange student has a sister who lives next door and that family has a Dallas PD officer who's probably one of the most hard-nosed, no-bullshit women you could ask for.

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    DW...when are you and I going to get a drink?

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    Donovan PuppyfuckerMadEddyASimPerson
  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Clock King Registered User regular
    I used to joke about how facebook was a website that told you which of your relatives were racist

    and then ferguson happened and I had to unfollow some folks

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Look, my aunt runs DO YOU THINK WAR IS COMING on Facebook...

    Not sure if you guys can see this but...

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1518693388348662/

    It's breathtaking.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Man I'm glad your parents are taking steps to protect themselves. Make sure they don't let him back in. If they do, support them, but from a distance.

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  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Wow, that's a tough ride, DW. Sorry you and your family is going through it.

    MadEddy
  • Emerlmaster999Emerlmaster999 Nonbinary (they/them)Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Man I'm glad your parents are taking steps to protect themselves. Make sure they don't let him back in. If they do, support them, but from a distance.

    My parents took in my bipolar uncle after his wife kicked him out, even going so far as to buy a truck for him.

    Note: If you know someone is bipolar, alcoholic, on drugs, and refuses to take his medication, steer clear. Eventually my parents wised up and kicked him out too, but the following two years of threatening phone calls, demands for "his" truck (fortunately it was under my parents' ownership, so he had no claim and they just sold the damn thing), and having to listen to the rest of my mother's side of the family refuse to listen to our warnings about him was the worst period of my life.

    At least we did finally get the courts to issue a restraining order (after too many years), and the grandparents did cut him from their will after my idiot aunt paid for a train ticket for the uncle to visit them, only for him to attack another uncle and stomp on his face.

    As someone also diagnosed with a mental illness (GAD in my case), I take every precaution to ensure I never do anything even a fraction of what that vile man has done to us. I know GAD cannot do anything of the sort, but it's still what drives me to be a better person than him.


    Families!

    Emerlmaster999 on
    SCREECH OF THE FARG
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    DW...when are you and I going to get a drink?

    Right now-ish?

    Oh, you mean, in the same zip code, got it.

    Well, let me whip up some more comp time, then we'll see.

    Raijin Quickfoot
  • MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    Family is tough.

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  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    MadEddy wrote: »
    Family is tough.

    Once social media became a thing, I basically told everyone that the familial bonds and obligations were only there to manipulate others and that I would cut people out of my life the moment they started pulling those strings.

    It took exactly one, "how could you say that?" Before everyone knew I meant business.

    RainfallminirhyderCaulk Bite 6
  • MulletudeMulletude Registered User regular
    My parents very much do not like that I get along well enough with my ex to do things jointly, like take the kids to the zoo. The passive aggressive guilt trips today(lol, not just today) are the icing.

    XBL-Dug Danger WiiU-DugDanger Steam-http://steamcommunity.com/id/DugDanger/
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Mulletude wrote: »
    My parents very much do not like that I get along well enough with my ex to do things jointly, like take the kids to the zoo. The passive aggressive guilt trips today(lol, not just today) are the icing.

    If more divorced parents acted like you (rational adults with the kids' best interest at heart), then we would all be better off as a species. Kudos to you, I sincerely mean that.

    UsagicabsyDonovan PuppyfuckerVeldrinNocrenMadEddyDevlin_DragonusJacques L'HommeHacksawRhesus PositiveRaijin QuickfootSassoriBé ChuilleJoeUserSyphyreAngelinaSkeithGoldenSeducerJimothyCreaganCalicaStraightziShortyDesert LeviathanRainfallMysstDoctorArchdestroyah87Slacker71tynicceresThe BetgirlNightDragonlonelyahavaTransporterHellaJeffGreenNitsuaAnialosJebusUDSheriLord_AsmodeusPhoenix-Dvalhalla130SmrtniksarukunpookaCaulk Bite 6joshofalltrades
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    this some soap opera shit I swear to god

    My dad's mom (June) just got dxed with seriously advanced cancer, like sub-six-months cancer. I don't really think of her as my grandma, because when I was little I was molested by my brother and her response was basically "I'm sure it's not really such a big deal, these kinds of things happen, kids play, it was probably partly her idea too". I was four, he was fourteen, so yeah. Anyway it turns out that my sister was similarly molested by our uncle with about the same response, and my sister and brother were given up for adoption by my dad and my grandma adopted them as her own children, and my brother has a semi-serious intellectual disability and is also a shithouse fucker so basically my older sister was pretty well ignored (at best) and openly antagonized by our brother and aunts and uncles. Also my dad's dad, who has long since passed, had a serious brain injury when my dad was a kid and went from an OK guy to 'one time he cracked my dad in the face with a hammer for talking back,' and nobody ever moved to protect the kids from that kind of abuse, so basically what I'm saying here is on all levels the relationship with that side is Complicated. And of course, I don't think of her as my grandma, so this isn't really an emotional punch for me - more just kind of weird that she won't be there anymore - but I'm concerned about my dad and my sister, who both view her as a mom.

    BUT because this isn't Complicated ENOUGH, of course, my dad's siblings have all decided to be awful fucktrucks. Nobody notified my dad or sister that she was even in the hospital. Dad found out because his brother, Uncle Molesty, ran into my dad's girlfriend at walmart and said "oh yeah when you see (my dad) again can you tell him mom's in the hospital? thanks". Dad called my sister to be like the fuck? why didn't you tell me? and that's how my sister found out. My sister is very close to June, so this was pretty devastating to her. So my sister and her husband decided to visit June in hospital and see how she was doing, and one of my dad's sisters was there and basically immediately started this posturing aggression toward my sister for no reason. My sister asked why nobody notified her that, y'know, the woman who is her mom was in the hospital and my dad's sister basically said 'we didn't think about it, since you aren't REALLY her daughter or anything'. She also made a bunch of jabs at my sister for having a grandkid, because she didn't realize or care to realize that it's an adopted grandkid from basically taking in a teen mom who was being seriously physically abused by her partner. Lots of stuff like "well I'm glad my children were smart enough not to give me grandchildren so young," and my sister was like uh.. good for you? Huzzah? And it escalated into my dad's sister threatening to have her banned from the hospital, lots of 'mom doesn't want you here anyway,' 'you're not really family,' etc etc which dad's mom heard and was like oh honey, you know she doesn't really mean those things, she just says mean stuff, I'm sure she doesn't mean to hurt you. And my sister feeling more and more like she was a little kid in that abusive household, which if you've never been triggered in that way, be thankful as fuck because it is soooo wretched and disassociating. So finally she said, OK, we're just going to go home and I'll come visit mom when you aren't here, it's fine, we can avoid conflict for six months. And my dad's sister said, fucking, no lie, "Well I'll make sure (the uncle who molested my sister) is here all day tomorrow when I can't be here." Knowing full well that he molested my sister for years. And my sister said that's when she left the hospital, and went home and cried on and off for like two days between the fact that her mom has seriously progressed cancer and she felt like she was back in that unwanted child headspace again and of course the whole total failure to be defended by her mom AND the threat of having to deal with her molester.

    So two days later, her husband calls the hospital and asks to talk to June. And the person who answers the phone, another aunt, says "Who is this?" and when he says that he is my sister's husband, she gets all cold and says "June specifically said she doesn't want to take calls from you guys or see you guys again." Which is absolutely untrue and ridiculous, but she hung up on him and then didn't answer the phone when they called back. So this is when my dad finally really gets involved and goes to the hospital to visit his mom and see the fuck is up with his sisters suddenly treating MY sister like she's the reason jesus got hung up on the cross, and my aunt who answered the phone said 'well you know that's what our sister told me to say, I haven't heard June say anything like that, but according to our sister (my sister) has been threatening her and making her feel like she's in danger and has been upsetting June and she figured it would just be better if they didn't see each other again'. Which is so untrue! SO UNTRUE! And then, get this, my aunt says I know it isn't true, but it's probably easier if she just doesn't bother to visit June at the hospital anymore. Like oh, I know it isn't true, I know she loves June very much and would never upset her and this is her mom, her adopted mom, who has less than six months to live, but let's not make any waves here! And my dad was like uhhhhh ??? and my aunt said 'well she's leaving the hospital to go home and have hospice care until she passes, so they can visit then'. Which, not really any more acceptable, but whatever. Except that now that June is home my dad's sister hasn't been adhering to the 'visitation schedule' so my sister can't even call over there and talk to June, dad has to call first and make sure that the coast is clear, because my dad's sister has been alternating between being there herself and stationing Uncle Molesty to take phone calls to make sure that my sister's access is cut off. So that's the current situation, and like I said, I have no dog in this race in terms of emotional investment in her passing, but holy shit it makes me so mad! I just want to go down there and kinda lay about that whole side of my dad's family with a stick.

    and then my sister said it makes her feel terrible, but in a way it will almost be a relief when June passes because June has tried for years to get my sister to 'reconcile' with her molester and visit with our brother (also a molester) and does things like 'accidentally' tell our brother and Uncle Molesty where my sister lives, or how she's doing or whatever. and once June is gone, she will no longer have to pretend that she gives a shit about anyone else on that side of the family and she never has to think about them again and she really feels like she'll be able to move on with her life. and it just really makes my heart break for her, to know she's having to go through all this complicated shit right now.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Look, my aunt runs DO YOU THINK WAR IS COMING on Facebook...

    Not sure if you guys can see this but...

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1518693388348662/

    It's breathtaking.
    THIS IS WHERE YOU SAY WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT , JUST DO NOT GO AGAINST SOMEONE ELSE , WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER , AND FIGHTING ISN'T ALLOWED , EVERYONE GETS TO SPEAK THEIR MIND ANY TIME .
    DON'T MIND MY CAPS I LIKE THEM. YOU CAN CALL ME SIR CAPS A LOT ;)

    ah huh

    Donovan PuppyfuckerSorceVegemyteErin The RedHeadCreepsRaijin QuickfoottynicceresThe BetgirlCaulk Bite 6
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    @cabsy

    I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for your serious self-control and discipline; I'm fairly certain I would be behind bars if all of that were happening to me right now.

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  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    Hmm. I have a kinda boring story that stressed me out. My oldest brother infomed me that I was going to be a reference for his adoption, and that I would need to keep my phone charged.
    I love this guy and my sister-in-law immensely and agreed, because I wanna do anything I can to help them out. I got a call in the middle of a morning job, about a week later,
    "Hello, this is Virgil..." I wait 3 seconds and I hear a perky voice issue a canned statement folowed by L_______ Christian Adop...

    I had hung up the phone pretty sure it was just another robo call, but I simultaneously realized I heard "adop" to my horror. I quickly call back and get a machine confirming it's the agency, asking for me to input an extension.
    Cue me and my family freaking out about my dumb mistake, hoping they try to contact me again. Oldest brother calls in to say that the agency had just called my second older brother and had a laugh about it with him at a meeting.
    I know it's a relatively minor fuckup with a happy ending, but I still feel like the absolute worst.

    VayBJ4e.png
    Phoenix-D
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    One of the most important things I have learned so far in life is that the family you are born with does not have to be the family you are stuck with. I've never had to deal with anything as bad as what some posters are going through, but I have had to cut toxic people out of my life, and have been lucky enough to have had the privilege of accepting new family members into my life.

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  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    @cabsy

    I want you to know that I have nothing but respect for your serious self-control and discipline; I'm fairly certain I would be behind bars if all of that were happening to me right now.

    It helps that I live so far away. The night my sister called to tell me that June is ill, and I cracked a joke over text ("Did dad tell you about June?" "No, why, is she dying?" "... yeah..." "fuck, how many people gotta die before I get my degree??") and by the time she called me she was already crying because initially she thought I was actually upset and then hearing her cry because she felt so shitty? Oh yeah. I had a real hard time falling asleep that night because I kept thinking, it's only a 2 1/2 hour drive, I could be there in the morning. This was before June went home and I thought, I could be at the hospital and I could tell my shitty 'aunt' exactly where she can stuff it, but I knew in this case it would just upset my sister even more and it wouldn't accomplish anything but make ME feel better (still tempting)

    knowing my dad's sister is using the specter of uncle molesty answering the phone to deny access to my sister calling or visiting, now, that makes me want to go down there and murder someone. but my brother in law is a cop, so I'm sure if any of us are going to give in to our baser instincts he has a better chance of getting away with it and a shorter fuse, so I feel like it's taken care of. if it weren't my sister's explicit wish that we cause as little 'drama' as possible so that she can grieve without all the drama... fffff

  • Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    c9pZDPP.gif

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  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    I would like to throw out a positive story since it occurred after my grandfather died and it was a moment of pure familial love coupled with no actual speech.

    The Monday morning before my grandad's service was one that found me barely coherent and stumbling through the kitchen, trying to figure out how to carry a bowl of cereal to the table. The table itself was almost full: my Grandma Mary, my mom, my Aunt Debbie, my cousin Wesley and two empty seats. One of the empty seats was Grandpa's chair and the other one was on the opposite side of Wesley with no way for me to get to it without some serious acrobatics since it was tucked into the corner of the dining area.

    I think I said something like, 'Hmmm,' which could be loosely translated into. 'That's not my chair and it's not right to sit in it at this moment.'

    Wesley caught my eye and said, 'Mmmph,' and slid over to the vacant Not-Grandpa's Chair in the corner, which I translated into, 'Hey, I know what you're thinking, you're right, that's still his chair at the head of the table, I'll move over one seat and you can have mine.'

    And so I sat down in Wesley's recently-vacated seat and said, 'Mmmm-hmmm,' which is jarhead for, 'Thanks a million and thanks for not making me cry at the breakfast table.'

    One day, I'm going to find a lady who likes Cajun-born soldiers with deep bass voices and magnificent beards and I'm going to say, 'I know a guy.'

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  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Yo DW, your 'brother' sounds like the filthiest turd.

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  • MulletudeMulletude Registered User regular
    Mulletude wrote: »
    My parents very much do not like that I get along well enough with my ex to do things jointly, like take the kids to the zoo. The passive aggressive guilt trips today(lol, not just today) are the icing.

    If more divorced parents acted like you (rational adults with the kids' best interest at heart), then we would all be better off as a species. Kudos to you, I sincerely mean that.

    Thank you, DW.

    Validation can make a big difference and from every post of yours i've read, you are somebody whose opinion I can respect.

    XBL-Dug Danger WiiU-DugDanger Steam-http://steamcommunity.com/id/DugDanger/
    Darth Waiter
  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    Yeah I love my actual family very much and I have, for the most part, been incredibly fortunate in both blood family and chosen family. Both of the women I consider my actual grandmothers are no blood relation, but they were both pretty fundamental in the creation of my personality and how I like to think of myself? My goals for myself? Whatever. My grandma passed a month before our wedding last year and it is still hard because I miss her so much and it's impossible for me to believe such a vibrant person could just be gone. I'm incredibly glad that she did get to know my husband and last year for his birthday she sent him a letter saying she was proud of her new grandson and she loved him very much. I have a guy I call my 'backup dad', my dad's best friend, who is really the first person that made me feel like he actually listened to me and respected what I had to say. I guess whatever fates there may be felt like I needed some really damn good people to counterbalance my biological "family".

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Family stuff unloading time:
    My dad's dad was a pretty raging alcoholic. My dad, in turn, has some pretty ingrained fears of alcohol and alcoholics, as well as fairly serious depression and a not-yet-successfully diagnosed "Alzheimer's like" neurological disorder.
    Jump up to my brother: kind of a shlub, but not an overt loser. Lacks a lot of confidence for a long time though. He eventually did get a woman to go out with him, and married her down the road. When they were living together, my dad called her a 'whore' because she was living with a man without being married to him (didn't call my brother anything, how about that?) in a note, which she read (uninvited). Turns out she was an alcoholic (though not a raging one), and my brother and she eventually divorced.
    Bro got married to another woman a few years later, and it turned out she hid her mental disorders from him -- turns out she was on heavy anti-psychotics when they got married, and went off them without my brother ever knowing she was on them, or why she was suddenly so manic. They eventually divorced.
    Now my brother is dating a woman. She is, by all accounts, if not an out and out alcoholic, someone who enjoys a drink a lot more than anyone else in our family. My mother (who is her own piece of work), invited my brother and his girlfriend for Easter tomorrow. My dad said he didn't want any drinking going on. He hasn't said that before, but he lives there, and it's not out of line. So my brother checks in with GF, and I get the call today from my mom looking for help in settling the waters because it looks like booze is going to be a dividing force in the family.
    Oh, and my brother tells my mother to tell me ('cause they were already on the phone and talking, not because he's avoiding talking to me) (that I know of) that if anything happens to mom before my dad dies, I'm going to have to be the one to take care of dad, 'cause bro ain't doing it.

    Whee.

    Drez wrote: »

    Being quoted out of context is honestly what I live for.
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    I have a lot of things in my life I'm not a fan of and would change if I could but my family is one thing I can unequivocally say have been the most sportive and loving people I know and I am so thankful for them. I can't even imagine the pain of the people who are supposed to be there for you instead being a source of fear or anger or misery and I know how lucky I am that my family loves me and I love them. That isn't the case far too often and that makes me so sad. I'm trying to make it as obvious as possible that I'm not bragging but that these stories help me to understand exactly how good I have it.

    Brovid Hasselsmof
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Mulletude wrote: »
    Mulletude wrote: »
    My parents very much do not like that I get along well enough with my ex to do things jointly, like take the kids to the zoo. The passive aggressive guilt trips today(lol, not just today) are the icing.

    If more divorced parents acted like you (rational adults with the kids' best interest at heart), then we would all be better off as a species. Kudos to you, I sincerely mean that.

    Thank you, DW.

    Validation can make a big difference and from every post of yours i've read, you are somebody whose opinion I can respect.

    Well, thank you!

    One of the things I've been focusing on in the last four or five years is being honest with my flaws, trying to correct them and trying to be a better person, every day, in every way. A great deal of that comes from leaving the bar industry and focusing on my relationships with my friends and my family. There's also a substantial part of me that is ashamed of who and what I used to be, sincerely contrite over my actions and behavior, but is finally willing to admit that, no, I did not have the best childhood, but it doesn't mean that making bad decisions has to be my future.

    I want to be someone who is deserving of respect from my friends and family; my grandfather's passing has helped to crystalize that thought in my head because there were over a hundred people at his service and it was almost Standing Room Only. When the entire family was at my grandad's viewing a day before his actual burial, I was talking to my cousin and we were just reliving old days gone by when we were kids, there was a large group of people that kept exchanging glances with each other while looking at me sideways.

    "Oh God, what did I do now?"

    "We were just remarking on how much you look like him, your posture, your mannerisms ... pretty much all of you."

    "Oh, ok then."

    "We're not saying you look like you're dying or old or anything, just that you look exactly like he did."

    "Well, I'm taking it as a compliment and you can't stop me from doing so."


    And your story, @Mulletude , has me thinking about how hard my grandad worked to keep his daughters in his life, the sacrifices he made to be there for them despite his ex-wife being as ... difficult ... as she was. And I want to be that person too. I want to be that kind of hard-working man that takes care of his family and his friends, I want to have that funeral service that's Standing Room Only, I want to be remembered as a good man despite my flaws and mistakes, I want to have grandkids who maybe-kinda-sorta love me as much as I love my grandfather.

  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Growing up, I never really had much to do with my family. I was the only boy in a house full of girls, and I was the third out of four, so there was a lot of confrontation and keeping to myself. Then we all grew up and moved off to different places and we don't really keep in touch. Today though, I just started chatting with my older sister on Facebook for no reason in particular, and I came to the strange realization that she's actually kind of fun to talk to.

    chromdomcabsyDarth WaiterCentipede DamascusMadEddyErin The RedAngelinaSkeithGoldenSeducerCreaganCalicaShortySlacker71The BetgirlNightDragonlonelyahavaThegreatcowIloveslimesBlameless Cleric
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    I am having to co-deal with some stuff with my mom's finances. She retired after working administration for hometown's PD for many years, but apparently she's been having trouble managing her money. Spoke with my older sister about it on Thursday on the phone; apparently they had two different retirement funds there, and when one ran out she didn't know to/know how to switch over to the other, which led to my brother and I giving her $500 apiece to help cover her bills a few months ago, which she never told my sister about.

    Now my sister has that straightened out, but there's a looming $1k+ property tax bill coming up very soon that my mom doesn't think she'll be able to pay, and my sister is frustrated because whenever she tries to talk to her about her finances she avoids it.

    We're still trying to get back on track ourselves since the wife has only received a couple paychecks from her new job, which she may or may not have after April 15th, which will be really fun to deal with if it happens.

  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    @cabsy I want you to know I read all the words in your whole big post up there but didn't understand more than about 10%.

    But that 10% is enough that I still want to go royally shit on those people till they see sense.

    I'm sorry for what's going on in and around your life.

    Label on
    cabsyTamSlacker71Caulk Bite 6
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Can't contribute much to this thread since the fuckups in my family are pretty much the mundane kind in the extended branches, not immediate. I'm also not on Facebook so I don't have to see their whining, though my mom keeps me abreast of the important or bigger fuckups I can have a laugh at. The only real friction is between my brother and I and that's honestly on his plate right now if he wants to make amends because I'm perfectly happy to acknowledge his existence and do little else.

    Hope your parents stay safe Darth Waiter.

    Darth Waiter
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Growing up, I never really had much to do with my family. I was the only boy in a house full of girls, and I was the third out of four, so there was a lot of confrontation and keeping to myself. Then we all grew up and moved off to different places and we don't really keep in touch. Today though, I just started chatting with my older sister on Facebook for no reason in particular, and I came to the strange realization that she's actually kind of fun to talk to.

    It makes me sad when family just drifts apart like that. My grandfather had a couple of siblings that nobody knew how to contact after he died. As far as I could gather, other family members were pretty sure they were still alive, it was just that nobody could find their contact info.

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    Oh and generally my brother is kind of a shitlord, but in the past few months he's gone through some stuff that oddly mirrored things I went through a few years ago dealing with relationships and depression, but I think he has a pretty solid group of friends out in Colorado where he lives so I think he'll do alright.

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