[Family] Thread

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  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    All the shit in my life is self generated these days. That seems preferable.

    Fuck off and die.
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Growing up, I never really had much to do with my family. I was the only boy in a house full of girls, and I was the third out of four, so there was a lot of confrontation and keeping to myself. Then we all grew up and moved off to different places and we don't really keep in touch. Today though, I just started chatting with my older sister on Facebook for no reason in particular, and I came to the strange realization that she's actually kind of fun to talk to.

    It makes me sad when family just drifts apart like that. My grandfather had a couple of siblings that nobody knew how to contact after he died. As far as I could gather, other family members were pretty sure they were still alive, it was just that nobody could find their contact info.

    We still send out a mass text for every holiday, so we'd know pretty quick if one of us died! Plus we all make an effort to see each other once a year when my parents rent a beach house in the summer. But outside of that, we just don't have anything in common. The only reason I've ever liked my one older sister is because she got me into punk rock and Joel McHale's comedy.
    With all that said, they're all pretty good at being comforting. Last year my little sister had some health issues during her pregnancy, and her son was born with an undeveloped heart and lungs, I think it was. He died a few hours later. But my parents came all the way out to Virginia from Texas to support her, and my older sister and I drove down to see her, and my parents provided more Italian food than everyone there could eat, and it was a nice family moment in the face of a super shitty situation.

    Centipede DamascuscabsySkeithSlacker71NightDragon
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    My aunt came over yesterday and told me I am super depressed in front of my dad which made me break down and augh

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    I really wish my mum was still alive

    Butler
  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Hey, I don't really have a whole lot to contribute to this thread, as I haven't gone through anything remotely close to a lot of the stuff I've read in here.

    But family stuff, both good and bad, means a whole damn lot to me.

    So I know it's not much, but just know that I'm genuinely sending out internet hugs to all y'all.

    And if anyone just feels the need to vent to a stranger online about this stuff, my inbox and steam ID are open.

    Darth WaitercabsyNightDragon
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I used to bully @Fuselage when we were younger and I still feel like shit about it

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    We've recently had a lot of... stuff going on with our family. I kinda don't want to write about it so much, as one of my siblings is sitting at another computer in the room.

    But we've had a few family talks about the complete loss of trust that has happened, and what it's going to take to get it back. Things seem positive now, and it's hopefully going to work out for the best, but man.

    It's an odd thing to have to think that I absolutely cannot trust certain family members with certain things. But they are making an effort now. They seem to know what they did wrong, and why it was really destructive.



    This is probably one of the vaguest things ever, but still. I'd kinda resigned myself to having to distance myself from this person. It's good to know that that may not have to happen.

  • FuselageFuselage Oosik Jumpship LoungeRegistered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    I used to bully @Fuselage when we were younger and I still feel like shit about it

    I've had twenty years to think of all the ways we've wronged each other, and maybe not when we were single-digits, but I've definitely done some things that weren't in the best taste a decade ago as well. Since all of that nonsense, you've been the one to bug me with interesting stuff and try to find times or ways to play games together, which is a big part of what I miss while I've been gone for nearly eight years. Now I'm raising kids in the same nomadic lifestyle that we grew up in and they'll survive it, but I'm also bummed that I won't be near you guys to share any of this or be a part of your groups and activities.

    In short, you're fine. I've got a laundry list of things I still feel guilty about years later, but nothing that you did ruined my life or limited me in any way. What's tough for me is trying to find a convenient place to settle down, knowing that we owe time with our kids to two states that aren't next to each other.

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    chromdomcabsyErin The RedSkeithGoldenSeducerCreaganDoctorArchSlacker71NightDragonlonelyahavaGreenvalhalla130sarukunpookaDevlin_Dragonus
  • MuzzmuzzMuzzmuzz Registered User regular
    It's weird, after two decades of mental, emotional, and mid level physical abuse, my parents have made a 180 in attitude. As soon as I moved out, there was 'You need anything Muzz? Give us a call, we're behind you no matter what." Instead of "We're so disappointed in you, Muzz, you're a fat, neurotic loser who's a disgrace to your family name. Also, any good you will do will be credited us, because of our good parenting." I mean, I wasn't the angel kid, but my worst tendencies as a teen was failing classes because I didn't do homework or projects. Not drugs, not sleeping around, no petty crimes. It didn't help that not only did I have to compete against an much older step-sibling (Muzz, at your age, your sister was a grade ahead, and was the most popular kid at school), an autistic brother (No Muzz, we can't help you fundraise for your class trip, we're too busy fundraising for his special ed. class trip), and a adorable nephew (Oh my god, our grandchild is so cute, we're going to shower him with toys, money, and trips. Hopefully he won't turn out to be a good for nothing sack of shit like his aunt)

    Oddly, even ten years, I still have issues with my parents. I'm thirty years old, pregnant, and I'm freaking out like a teen about what my parents will think even though financially, I'm in great shape. Also, there's the underlying fear that I'll be just like my parents. Thankfully, Mr.Muzz is an incredibly great guy who has been reassuring me that I'll be a great mother, and that he and I will be better parents than mine ever could be.

    chromdomcabsyGoldenSeducerHeadCreepsDesert LeviathanRainfallSlacker71NightDragonlonelyahavaSassoriThegreatcowFoolOnTheHillvalhalla130Smrtniksarukun
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I do find it really odd that I did get along better with my father as an adult than I ever did as a child but there was still that gulf of misunderstanding.
    Ever so deep and uncrossable at times.

    Most of my extended family most of my life wanted nothing to do with me. But I really feel it was coming from one person and what they said or orders.
    So when it comes to telling people about my family at the moment I am really stuck saying I don't know but I rarely continue it with I don't care.

  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    My family is cool and I like them a lot

    Captain MarcusDidgeridoochromdomSLyMGoldenSeducerASimPersonDesert LeviathanDoctorArchSlacker71Prohasssarukun
  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    I used to have a really close relationship with my (older) brother.
    He had a psychotic episode when i was 14 and it broke me at the time.
    It is now 11 years later and I see him slipping down the same path again. He still lives with our parents.
    I feel he is now smart enough to not tip over the edge again, but all that it is doing is making him stay in a state which is damaging to himself and those around him for longer.
    I really don't know how to help him, somehow I think saying "Get a shit job you hate like everyone else." is going to help particularly much.

    I really want to just call him on all his bullshit but I'm pretty sure I'd just push him further away.

    Last time I was back home from interstate was pretty uncomfortable.

    This is mostly me venting, thanks.

    Elvenshae
  • KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Registered User regular
    My father's side of the family is, how shall we say, "interesting." I remember one of my uncles showing me his shoebox full of assorted police and sheriff badges and giving me one for "When I needed to get out of trouble." I don't know what exactly a 12 year old would be able to do with a Wyoming police badge, but it's the thought that counts.

    The more amusing story was when a couple of them came out to visit us and got picked up for gun running. Of course they all are big shooters and gun collectors and when they came out to visit us, the stopped by a couple of gun shows on the way. I guess they found a great deal on two dozen M1911 pistols and picked them up. So there they were speeding down the interstate on their way to see us and they get pulled over for speeding. And the cop notices the cases in the back seat and asks them what's in the cases. I guess telling a Minnesota Highway Patrol officer that you have two dozen firearms sitting in a couple of cases in your backseat after he pulls you over for doing 95 in a 65 leads to a few questions. So they get taken into custody and end up spending the night in jail until they can get proof of their firearms dealers licenses (which they didn't have on them). So now they refuse to even drive through Minnesota and remind us every time we talk to them.

    godmodeRhesus PositiveUsagi
  • Mr. GMr. G Registered User regular
    I've never met the vast majority of my dad's side of the family

    Mostly because my grandpa was a serial cheater and has children all over the tristate area, too many to keep track of

    They got divorced in their 60s and he got remarried pretty quick after my grandma died

    We haven't seen him in at least 5 years, probably more like 7 or 8, nor would we want to

    He could be dead for all we know, and boy wouldn't that be a nice dream

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I feel one of the people I work with is one of the many sons someone I knew of back in the early 90's
    From his best guess at 1995 being hauled off for yet another I can prove my child is yours case he made fun of the fact his DNA was on file had at least 17 children with different women and the joys of being a cross country trucker

    I find it creepy that guy I work with kind of looks like him let it slip one day he has no idea who his father is and is born/from one of the areas he went to a lot.

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I don't know much about my family past my parents. My Dad was adopted and apparently there is a strong chance that the man who raised my Mom is not her Dad because apparently Grandma liked to dip her wick around town.

    She has 6 kids and my mom and uncle don't look anything like the rest of them.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I know a lot about my mother's family because my grandfather would tell me all about them and how they all somehow lived through ww2 on the other side

  • MuzzmuzzMuzzmuzz Registered User regular
    I'm supposed to have a step brother, but he died in the late 80's, at the age of thirteen. The thing is, no one ever told me how he died. All I've been able to do is piece together clues. I'm pretty sure he was strangled, either by accident, or on purpose. My step-sister freaked out when her son got gradually tangled up in some rope one day. The issue is, how? Suicide? Thirteen seems a bit young, but that side of the family has mental issues. Cousins have said that his father, a notorious abuser, did it. Those cousins don't have first-hand knowledge though. But then there's the obituary. Often you can glean the cause of death from the organization that the family wants you to donate to.

    In this case, the obituary directed donations to Children's Services. Add the fact that I have never heard anyone talk about the father (aside from some abuse stories), it seems suspicious. But I'll never find out, and it would be incredibly rude to ask.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    My feelings towards my family are basically just apathy.

    They're decent people and all, I've just never felt any sort of connection to them. Couldn't really tell ya why, but it's all just a "meh" kind of feeling.

    If it weren't for the fact that my wife has a strong need for family connection and she doesn't get that from her side (for various reasons which are a whole big other story), I'd probably never speak to them just because I don't really care.

    Whenever I see a show or movie where they roll out the old "well you have to, he's your brother!" or "you have to stick by your family" or other some such cliche, I just roll my eyes. Family doesn't get a free pass for anything just because they're family.

    BLM - ACAB
    cabsyFaranguShortyThe BetgirlNightDragonKarlGreen
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Jesus DW, that's just the worst kind of familial bullshit I've heard of in a while.

    Real talk: Would a batch of fudge make your life a little less miserable?

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Muzzmuzz wrote: »
    I'm supposed to have a step brother, but he died in the late 80's, at the age of thirteen. The thing is, no one ever told me how he died. All I've been able to do is piece together clues. I'm pretty sure he was strangled, either by accident, or on purpose. My step-sister freaked out when her son got gradually tangled up in some rope one day. The issue is, how? Suicide? Thirteen seems a bit young, but that side of the family has mental issues. Cousins have said that his father, a notorious abuser, did it. Those cousins don't have first-hand knowledge though. But then there's the obituary. Often you can glean the cause of death from the organization that the family wants you to donate to.

    In this case, the obituary directed donations to Children's Services. Add the fact that I have never heard anyone talk about the father (aside from some abuse stories), it seems suspicious. But I'll never find out, and it would be incredibly rude to ask.

    This is an incredibly difficult thing for anyone to figure out on their own and you would have every right to ask since you have your own baby on the way. There are so many different levels to abuse that it can be an insidious and veiled and ongoing before anyone realizes that it's actually abuse.

    If you're reading this right now, wherever you are, whoever you are and you think that abuse of any stripe might be going down, then you owe it to yourself to tell someone. It doesn't have to be a parent or an educator, it doesn't have to be law enforcement or even someone you're close to; all you should remember is that no one deserves to be abused, taken advantage of or otherwise mistreated. It can happen to anyone for any reason at any time. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or psychological; it takes all forms and it effects every type of person in every type of life.

    Whoever you are, wherever you are, someone wants to help you out and lift you up and show you what an amazing person you actually are, I promise you that.

    MadEddycabsyHacksawMuzzmuzzGoldenSeducerJimothyDesert LeviathanUsagiShortySlacker71The Betgirldestroyah87NightDragonlonelyahava
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Jesus DW, that's just the worst kind of familial bullshit I've heard of in a while.

    Real talk: Would a batch of fudge make your life a little less miserable?

    After all of the Easter candy I ate this week at work, I'm going to thankfully and respectfully decline as I proceed to ... (as we used to say in The Corps) ... slay my nasty body.

    But I will drop some sweat on the pavement and think of your fudge the whole time because it was a fucking religious experience.

    GoatmonErin The RedZyrelaxUsagiSlacker71
  • MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    So, I guess it would be unkind of me to remind you that Reese's Eggs should be on sale today or tomorrow.

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    Raijin QuickfootDarth WaitercabsyUsagiSlacker71
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    They had a 1lb one at work that I think I am supposed to get tomorrow?

  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Jesus DW, that's just the worst kind of familial bullshit I've heard of in a while.

    Real talk: Would a batch of fudge make your life a little less miserable?

    After all of the Easter candy I ate this week at work, I'm going to thankfully and respectfully decline as I proceed to ... (as we used to say in The Corps) ... slay my nasty body.

    But I will drop some sweat on the pavement and think of your fudge the whole time because it was a fucking religious experience.

    D'awwww 8->

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


    Darth Waiter
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    MadEddy wrote: »
    So, I guess it would be unkind of me to remind you that Reese's Eggs should be on sale today or tomorrow.

    *twitch*

  • YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Mmmmmm Reeses.

    SorceErin The RedSlacker71The Betgirl
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Hey guys, remember those Reese's eggs?

    Mmm, Reese's eggs.






    Reese's.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    Raijin QuickfootSorceHeadCreepsXaquin
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Those things are the best

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    SorceXaquin
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Also, @Fuselage can attest to this, I get mad when people pronounce it Ree-sees.
    Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are made with the controversial ingredient PGPR (Polyglycerol polyricinoleate, E476, aka Palsgaard 4150),[14] which is used as a replacement for cocoa butter.[15] The FDA has determined it to be "safe for humans as long as you restrict your intake to 7.5 milligrams per kilogram of body weight. Otherwise you’d be open to reversible liver enlargement at higher intakes".[16]

    Hmm.

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  • MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    Worth it.

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    Darth WaiterRaijin QuickfootXaquinSlacker71
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Good thing I'm so fat. That means I can eat more of them before being affected.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    GethSorcecabsySlacker71
  • BogeyBogey I'm back, baby! Santa Monica, CAModerator mod
    A Reese's Egg was the first piece of Easter candy I had this morning! :)

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  • cabsycabsy the fattest rainbow unicorn Registered User regular
    The worst part of badly mismanaging our money last month is not only no easter baskets today, but no half price candy tomorrow either

    yes we are both in our 30s and still do easter baskets for each other, don't judge

    lonelyahavaGreen
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    MadEddy wrote: »
    So, I guess it would be unkind of me to remind you that Reese's Eggs should be on sale today or tomorrow.

    *twitch*

    Wife found the knockoff version of Reese's puffs cereal at the store today. She bought it for me and brought it home and I thought of you. SO MUCH NOSTALGIA.
    NhDP5Yj.jpg

    Tcheldor
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    *twitch-twitch*

  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    Naturally and artificially flavoured! That must mean it tastes twice as good!

    name one thing that waluigi with a gun couldn't solve
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  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Butler wrote: »
    Naturally and artificially flavoured! That must mean it tastes twice as good!

    That's the only reasonable conclusion to draw, really!

    Also there is a new grocery store out here that has a fresh nut butter station where you push a button and it grinds up the nuts of choice. They've got honey roasted peanut, almond, regular peanut, and almond w/ dark chocolate.

    In relation to family things, I think since I grew up with family gatherings and tons of Spanish food being passed around, that's how I show love for folks. I make food for them. Been trying to do different things based on people's likes and dislikes, but generally if I like you I will invite you to consume food with me. Or cook for you. Or something. Hence family and friend crawfish boils! I invented a thing I called crownies about 5 years ago to help morale at work. Brownie on the bottom cooked most of the way, then you take the pan out and pour cookie dough on top and then cook. The sugar. It helps IT run!

    After hearing about all the issues that some friends and coworkers have in relation to their in-laws, it makes me really appreciate the fact that mine are pretty awesome.

    If any of you ever need to vent about issues, throw me a PM! I don't know many of you super well but am always willing to lend an ear and also willing to shut the hell up if you don't want input.

    Erin The Red on
  • AistanAistan Tiny Bat Registered User regular
    My mother and I lived on the East Coast with my Grandparents when I was around elementary school age. Also close by was my uncle and his family. He had a big house, expensive toys, was always friendly, etc. Basically he was just my cool uncle. His wife was... let's say not entirely mentally developed for a woman of her age. Their son was relatively normal, if somewhat spoiled.

    Eventually my mother and I moved out to the West Coast, but we'd still keep in contact and see everyone on the occasional holiday. My grandmother died a few years later, but my grandfather stayed where he was, not really wanting to move out here with the rest of us (my aunt and my cousins had all moved near here as well by this time). Wanting to keep a relationship with her brother, my mother would call and talk with my uncle every week or so, long conversations for at least an hour. How things were going, how their father was doing, plans for the future, etc. Normal stuff.

    After a little while my aunt started hearing some things from my uncle's in-laws. Concerns about my uncle's lifestyle extending beyond his means, how he was jumping from job to job and almost all the money was coming from them. How poorly he was treating his wife (who has the mental development of a ~16 year old), and how he was very likely cheating on her on all the trips to Reno he had been taking regularly. There were a few communications along these lines and eventually my aunt went out to see for herself. When she visited my grandfather, she found that the house was basically falling apart, the entire place was a mess with trash everywhere and he was physically in pretty terrible shape. My uncle had been straight-up lying to my mother during all those conversations, he would only come by my grandfather's place rarely and only to get money from him. My grandfather had owned a lot of land in Ohio that he sold and made quite a bit of money off of, and a significant percentage of that had been leeched by my Uncle to fuel his lifestyle.

    What happened next was my aunt basically decided to kidnap my grandfather to get him away from all of that. She got him on a plane out here and took him to her house to stay with her and her husband. I was in college at the time, in a university not too far from their place, so I went down to visit a few days afterwards. He was in incredibly bad shape, super emaciated, his skin basically hanging off his bones. It was really rough to see. Also rough to see was a few months later during his birthday celebration. My mother and I, my aunt and her husband, my two cousins were all there. We all got him gifts and a cake, the normal stuff, and as he was opening them he just started crying. I don't know if anyone here has seen an 83 year-old man cry about getting a new wallet because he's spent the last few years receiving no love or kindness from the only family member he's been able to interact with, but I don't think i'll ever be able to forget it.

    He got healthier as time went on, getting somewhat back to his old self that I remembered from when I was younger. The will was changed and my uncle was written out of it entirely, since he had already taken well over his fair share of it. None of us have heard anything from him since.

    My grandfather died about a year after he was rescued and brought out here. I think i've told this on here before, but he was a chemical engineer working on rocket propellant for the military, and by extension, the space program. He had graduated Magna Cum Laude from Ohio State University, and was a member of Phi Beta Kappa. He's probably the smartest person I have ever met in my entire life, and none of us really knew any of that until after he was gone and we went through his old paperwork. Instead he was just a loving father and grandfather to us, who luckily was able to spend his last year surrounded by family instead of dying in a shitty hole that his son had chosen to leave him in had my aunt not brought him over here.

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    ButlerSkeithcabsyBogeydestroyah87lonelyahavaGreen
  • AistanAistan Tiny Bat Registered User regular
    On a happier note, my nieces (technically first cousins) are 6 and 8 and are the most affectionate, pleasant, strong willed kids i've ever met. I feel pretty optimistic about their future, and I know that their younger brother and cousins are probably going to be pretty great as well with them as role models to look up to.

    I feel bad i'm never going to create a contribution to the next generation, but at least their parents are doing a great job of it themselves.

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    chromdomSlacker71
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