Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
Sorry guys I don’t want to be a complete downer and bring sad to this thread but I can’t help it I have to say something somewhere. We are celebrating two family member birthdays tonight and I’m happy for them and celebrating but inside I’m a wreck that just wants to pretend the world doesn’t exist as the clock ticks towards the dreaded anniversary of my son’s death.
I try to put on a brave face a lot and move forward but damn, a lot of me definitely died four years ago and I’m never at my weakest than I am now. All I can do is keep trying to be a net good to the world but damn if I don’t want to just stop trying sometimes. Once again sorry to be a bother. I feel awful for all the things y’all have to deal with and even if I don’t say anything at the time I read them, please know I do and want only the best to work out for y’all. If I could take it all from you and put it on me I would in a heartbeat.
Just know I genuinely love all of y’all and even now I still believe that hope springs eternal.
My wife has been full on unable to function for about two weeks. She cannot stay awake. She sleeps like 20 hours a day. She was finally admitted to the hospital yesterday. I took her to an urgent care facility because she said she was having some breathing problems. They found her blood pressure dangerously low and sent her to the hospital. At the hospital they gave her some fluids because she was dehydrated, but her health has not improved. The ER could not do anything else for her as all the test they ran turned up nothing. She was discharged same day.
My son is having to go on homebound because he cannot attend school due to extreme anxiety and depression. Basically a teacher will come to our house a few hours each week for education.
My daughter is acting out in ways I can't bear to describe.
I myself have been unemployed since the end of December.
I feel like I have failed in properly raising my kids. My wife is very sick and I can't do anything about it. She is disabled so I'm the income earner and not bringing on an income is killing me. I feel like every single part of my life is going wrong.
I feel so alone. I feel so overwhelmed. I can't even type out the full scope of how precarious things are right now. I don't know if even putting this here is a good idea. I struggle every day, all day long, to stay motivated and not break down crying or just sit and stop moving.
It sounds like your wife might have an autoimmune issue of some kind, which are really difficult to diagnose (or treat, even if you manage to get a diagnosis). But there are support groups around which might help point you in the right medical direction.
We know she has ankylosing spondylitis, which is a kind of autoimmune arthritis. She also has diabetes with the customary diabetic neuropathy. We have an appointment with a neurologist, but it's not until the end of March.
What's eating me is what am I gonna do when I go back to work? I feel like I need to be in two places at once: at work and at home.
My wife's mother has offered to stay with us some since she lives a few minutes away, but she is elderly with memory loss and some dementia. I feel like she is almost a third person for me to take care of. Her physical health is fine, but it's hard for me to deal with her as I don't know how. Sometimes she can be angry and confrontational.
Also, our apartment is small, so I feel like there is no escape, and I feel like any time I take for myself is wasted because there is SO MUCH that needs to be done to run a household. I'm not a good housekeeper, but I can get by.
This may seem trivial but a huge worry for me every day is dinner. I don't know how to cook or plan meals. I know logically I can Google up how to do it, but it's incredibly intimidating. And again, what do I do when I start work? Eating out all the time is expensive.
I could go on forever. I've already vented a lot and I don't want to take over the thread or drag it down or whatever. Thanks to Tynic and anyone else who responds for your kind words.
Are you on Facebook? Are you in any parenting groups? I know a lot of parents who'd be stuck without their virtual parental friends - it can be hard to get out and socialize in real life when you have young kids, but we all definitely need support of some kind. I'd recommend trying to join one!
With regards to meals, you can go cheap and simple. My husband and I both work and often get home late and for a while I was microwaving $1 bags of frozen veggies and serving that with chicken. Boring, but easy, and frozen veg are decent nutrition-wise. If you have a crockpot or instant pot there are a lot of all-in-one type meals. For lunches at work, a loaf of bread + cheese + apple, etc.
As for social media, these forums are the extent if my participation. I do not have Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, any of these. I'm hesitant to share details of my life online. It takes a lot just to post about my life here.
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
chicken thighs with barbecue sauce in a slow cooker for 6-8 hours on low is a good basic dinner.
toss in some frozen mixed veggies (corn, carrots, peas, etc) in the last hour and you've got your veggies. Serve on a loaf of bread, buttered noodles, or steamed rice (you can use the microwave rice pouches in the store, or if you have a rice cooker, it will save your life) as your starch. boom. balanced meal. Toss on some shredded cheese for a bit of dairy/flavour if that's your thing.
there are heaps of slow cooker cook books and things out there which basically comes down to "dump these ingredients in. hit start. 8 hours later, magic has happened" and you can do a lot of food in a small amount of time.
no real advice on the rest, I wish that I could offer something other than empathy. But we're here for you to vent to.
A slow cooker is also known as a crock pot, correct?
I don't have a slow cooker, so I think I need to cook them in the oven for a time and then slather some bbq sauce towards the end. That sound about right?
I know we have some canned veggies and rice around here, so that takes care of that.
Methinks a visit to the cooking thread would be productive for me. If I could successfully cook an actual for real dinner for my family, that would be such a self esteem boost.
I want to let everyone know that so far I'm having a good day. I've not immediately gone back to bed after taking my daughter to school. That's a big thing for me because I want to hide from the world in sleep. I'm getting some stuff accomplished today and feel a smidge hopeful.
I've been productive today, I think? I've been out doing errands most of the day so no housework has been done. There is still so much that needs to be done. We do not have an automatic dishwasher, so a sinkful of dishes is taunting me, despite having been doing stuff most of the day. I can do dishes but that means something else does not get done. It's so hard to stay motivated.
My wife fell late last night. She broke two bones in her lower leg. She broke her shin and the docs are telling her she will need surgery to put a pin in.
Update: she is in the hospital with a leg in a splint. We don't know when the surgery will be. It's looking like it will not be until tomorrow, or maybe even the next day. The kids are at their grandparents. I'm in the room with her right now to provide some company.
I'm putting one foot in front of the other right now. I wish I could take on my wife's pain, even for a while, to give her a break. I would do it with no hesitation.
We're here for you, even if all you can do right now is vent and all we can do right now is listen.
No one but you knows how hard things are right now, but if you need to yell and cry and scream and rage at someone, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be your mental punching bag if you need it; hell, that's the entire reason I started the thread, for all of us to let it out and be honest and brutal in the ways we can't outside of this space, a pressure release valve if you will.
...
I am now going to hit you right in the feels: you are not a failure and you never will be.
My mom and I were broke as fuck when I was growing up, living paycheck to paycheck for pretty much my entire life; I honestly can't remember a time when she ate more than two meals a day. But I have never held that borderline homelessness and poverty against her and I never will.
Your family loves you and they can see you doing your best; that's all that matters. Yeah, sure, kids become asshole teenagers and then they eventually say awful shit, that's what teenagers do. But when you are giving your all to take care of everyone, that tremendous effort will never be forgotten.
If no one has told you lately, you are a good father and husband because you give a good goddamn and are doing everything in your power to make things happen.
Don't ever forget it.
+24
Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
I’d say more but Darth already said it and better than I ever could. You are a good person and things will get better. Try your best to stay strong and stand tall and we are here if you need to vent.
Though it’s a bit trite I have a saying I’ve turned to and said internally almost as a mantra to help me through trying times:
It’s always darkest before the dawn, and morning will always come.
My parents have come to visit us here in LA for the first time and it has been a pretty good time so far! Their original flight out of Chicago (they live in SW Michigan) was cancelled because a storm dumped 14"+ of snow over the Chicagoland/NW Indiana/SW Michigan area, so that messed up our plans a bit. They were supposed to get in on Friday instead of yesterday, which worked better because my girlfriend worked a short shift on Saturday, would have given us more time to hang out as a group.
She had yesterday off though, so we met my parents at their hotel and then we all went to Disneyland. Turns out, 4 adults can have a pretty good time there! At some point this week we're all going to meet up in Santa Monica for dinner (girlfriend works up there), and I think we'll do pizza and beers at the local brewery another night. They're here til Thursday so we've got some time.
My parents have both started smoking though, and that bothers me. The flip side is that my dad has lost like 70lbs and that's good, because he was pretty overweight/obese for most of his adult life. Now I have to follow suit get myself in shape, but I deffo won't be taking up smoking to help.
I also learned through them that my aunt and uncle (my dad's brother) are possibly separating? They had been living apart for like 8 months because my aunt started a new job in a different state, but I guess the last time my uncle went out to stay with her she told him she wanted to get a divorce. It's not official yet and who knows how it'll work out, but it feels weird. My parents went through a rough patch in their marriage (which led to the smoking) right before I moved to LA but they worked it out and now they seem pretty happy again.
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Smoking only helps you lose weight until the cancers start growing, then you gain a little weight for a short period of time, then you lose a whole lot of weight really fast, then you die.
Could you get them to switch to vaping, perhaps? Don't worry, it is possible to vape without also getting neck tattoos and wearing a flat brim cap at all times.
The surgery was a success. She has a plate and screws holding her right tibia in place, and a single screw holding her fibula in place. I'm waiting I'm the hospital room for her now.
I forgot to say thank you to Darth Waiter. You weren't kidding when you said it would hit me in the feels!
Smoking only helps you lose weight until the cancers start growing, then you gain a little weight for a short period of time, then you lose a whole lot of weight really fast, then you die.
Could you get them to switch to vaping, perhaps? Don't worry, it is possible to vape without also getting neck tattoos and wearing a flat brim cap at all times.
Yeah, that has basically been my assessment of his new weight loss plan. I have been fairly vocal about it, because while I realize they were experiencing a lot of stress over their relationship, who takes up smoking at ~50 years old?? Y'all know it's bad!
I hadn't really thought about moving them to vaping, maybe I could get them to move to a nicotine-added vape liquid and then wean them off that...
Visited wife today. She's in a pain med stupor. Docs said 2-4 days before she gets home. Everything is all out of sync. I never thought I'd say this, but I don't like my home being so quiet with just me there. I'm not doing bad, I'm just kind of... confused, maybe? It's hard to describe.
Not really. My mom is going through a severe depression herself and has not returned my last text, just saying hi and to call me sometime. That was before my wife's fall. I'm afraid to call my mom and add stress to her life.
There is no one on my wife's side who I am that close too.
It's just me and my daughter home tonight. For some reason I have never felt less like and adult.
So my wife is being discharged from the hospital today. The hospital told us we need to have a ramp due to our apartment having two steps to get in. I haven't been able to get that done.
A local church charity may be able to help us with that, but I don't have it today when my wife needs it. Insurance is paying for a wheelchair and toilet seat thingy, but not a walker. I haven't been able to get that. Nobody has a job right now, so I can't pop over to Walmart to buy one. Everyone is surviving on my the retirement of my FiL. I'm scouring job sites and putting in applications, but no callbacks so far.
I don't know what to do. I'm torn between needing to stay home to take care of my wife and fear we may not have money to make our car payment, or even to buy food.
I feel like every shred and scrap of security is being stripped away from me. I want my life back goddamnit. I've got two young children, a very disabled wife, and the possibility of not having money to survive. I can't even take a job and know my wife is ok. Her mom has agreed to stay with us, but she's a old lady (in decent health) and I don't trust she can care for my wife due to her memory loss and mild dementia.
I am the only able bodied and trustworthy adult in the entire state and I feel extremely overwhelmed. I'm angry at the way my life is going. I'm not perfect, but my family and I do not deserve this kind of stress.
This is selfish of me, but I'm afraid of my own ability to handle my life. My wife is the one in pain and I'm relying on the retirement if an old man, but I'm afraid for myself.
Nobeard on
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knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
Lost a good family friend last night. She was 95 and pretty much a third grandmother to us. I saw her at Christmas, but she started going downhill fast after that and last week Mom put her in hospice.
I feel relieved more than anything. Taking care of her, even though she was ostensibly independent until around the New Year, has taken a lot of Mom’s time and energy these past few years.
And now I feel bad because all I can think of is how inconvenient it’s going to be to go to the funeral.
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
@Nobeard are you in the states? have you looked into SNAP, TANF, and depending on your state Medicaid? I know in Texas once you have SNAP/TANF the Workforce office can help with things like gas cards and rent assistance. there's also things like one-time TANF where you get a lump sum once in a year instead of month by month, with the idea that you can use it to catch up from an emergency situation
@nobeard this is just a quick result of my searching for IT jobs in NC, so maybe you've already seen it and looked into it.. But I found this staffing company that seems based in your state, (I don't know which city you're in, but it looks like they staff for a good number of them) and they have a good rating on glassdoor too.
@Nobeard are you in the states? have you looked into SNAP, TANF, and depending on your state Medicaid? I know in Texas once you have SNAP/TANF the Workforce office can help with things like gas cards and rent assistance. there's also things like one-time TANF where you get a lump sum once in a year instead of month by month, with the idea that you can use it to catch up from an emergency situation
We've looked into that kind of stuff, but there is a lot of paperwork to appeal the "no" decisions, and we just get discouraged. That was a while ago. Depression is a hard thing to overcome on easy task.
@Atheraal I will definitely look into that! The last two jobs i got were through staffing services and it can't hurt to cast the net wide. Thanks for the referral.
To end this post on a happy note, since my wife broke her leg, I've had even more to contend with. She needs help with every little thing. It's hard and I still want to hide sometimes, but I've improved as a person. The me from three years ago would have been able handle this as well, or at all.
Please know that a big part of that is having you fine folks to vent to and, we'll, boost my self esteem some. Thank you.
Lost a good family friend last night. She was 95 and pretty much a third grandmother to us. I saw her at Christmas, but she started going downhill fast after that and last week Mom put her in hospice.
I feel relieved more than anything. Taking care of her, even though she was ostensibly independent until around the New Year, has taken a lot of Mom’s time and energy these past few years.
And now I feel bad because all I can think of is how inconvenient it’s going to be to go to the funeral.
There is no wrong in being happy for your mom to have her life back. There is no wrong in not wanting to go to a funeral, either.
Uggghh nearly everyone in my house has the flu, including my MiL. She came to stay to help us out and now she needs care. Between taking care of them, my wife's broken leg, and my other issues, my stress is through the roof.
Does anyone have any experience with hyperemesis gravidarum? We have 40 days left until the due date, she's been sick since the end of the first month, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't struggling. Her necessary sleep time just jumped this weekend from sixteen to eighteen or twenty hours. She keeps saying it won't be like this forever and its almost over, but I'm having a hard time not building up resentment when I've done every outing, wakeup, grocery trip, cleaning, moving, phone call, meal, and dish for the past eight months, while she's seemingly slept away a really good job from nearly non-stop call-ins
I about lost it yesterday when the boys woke me up shreiking and I came down and she basically gave me a shrug of the shoulders. Like, my whole *life* for eight months has been trying to keep them quiet and entertained so she can rest for as long as she needs, and I can't have a nap when my candle has been thoroughly burnt at both ends? Really?
Eager to meet my little guy and worried and want to do everything I can to support my wife, but if I'd known about the HG beforehand and her actively checking out as a wife and mother for eight months, I probably would've just called it at two kids. This experience has been miserable
Yay everyone is over and done with the flu! Still gonna finish the tamiflu as instructed, but no one feels that bad anymore.
I and my MiL cleaned out our van. It had been hastily stuffed when we were evicted last year. Then I took it to a car wash and vacumed it out. It feels like a whole new machine.
I put in another job application for a desktop support role, but it's looking like I may have to go to a staffing service that does light industrial, I guess...? I'm not sure anymore. This one IT staffing service got me two placements back to back last year, but it looks like there is nothing going on at all. I truly don't know what to do and no joke I have a feeling of impending dread all the time. I'm a little miffed that a two year college certificate in computer networks looks to be no better than a high school diploma nowadays. I wish my debt reflected that.
@mrpaku I haven't experienced your precise predicament, but I think I can empathize. My wife has debilitating chronic illness (arthritis and diabetes) and two weeks ago broke her right leg. I'm full 100% care for her and nearly 100% for our two children. Grandma is staying with us, but she has he own issues (short term memory loss and mild dementia), so I'm about 90% support for our kids.
You're a fantastic father and husband for putting up with all this. Life is treating you unfairly right now and you are handling it the best you can. That is all any of us can do.
Posts
I try to put on a brave face a lot and move forward but damn, a lot of me definitely died four years ago and I’m never at my weakest than I am now. All I can do is keep trying to be a net good to the world but damn if I don’t want to just stop trying sometimes. Once again sorry to be a bother. I feel awful for all the things y’all have to deal with and even if I don’t say anything at the time I read them, please know I do and want only the best to work out for y’all. If I could take it all from you and put it on me I would in a heartbeat.
Just know I genuinely love all of y’all and even now I still believe that hope springs eternal.
My wife has been full on unable to function for about two weeks. She cannot stay awake. She sleeps like 20 hours a day. She was finally admitted to the hospital yesterday. I took her to an urgent care facility because she said she was having some breathing problems. They found her blood pressure dangerously low and sent her to the hospital. At the hospital they gave her some fluids because she was dehydrated, but her health has not improved. The ER could not do anything else for her as all the test they ran turned up nothing. She was discharged same day.
My son is having to go on homebound because he cannot attend school due to extreme anxiety and depression. Basically a teacher will come to our house a few hours each week for education.
My daughter is acting out in ways I can't bear to describe.
I myself have been unemployed since the end of December.
I feel like I have failed in properly raising my kids. My wife is very sick and I can't do anything about it. She is disabled so I'm the income earner and not bringing on an income is killing me. I feel like every single part of my life is going wrong.
I feel so alone. I feel so overwhelmed. I can't even type out the full scope of how precarious things are right now. I don't know if even putting this here is a good idea. I struggle every day, all day long, to stay motivated and not break down crying or just sit and stop moving.
It sounds like your wife might have an autoimmune issue of some kind, which are really difficult to diagnose (or treat, even if you manage to get a diagnosis). But there are support groups around which might help point you in the right medical direction.
What's eating me is what am I gonna do when I go back to work? I feel like I need to be in two places at once: at work and at home.
My wife's mother has offered to stay with us some since she lives a few minutes away, but she is elderly with memory loss and some dementia. I feel like she is almost a third person for me to take care of. Her physical health is fine, but it's hard for me to deal with her as I don't know how. Sometimes she can be angry and confrontational.
Also, our apartment is small, so I feel like there is no escape, and I feel like any time I take for myself is wasted because there is SO MUCH that needs to be done to run a household. I'm not a good housekeeper, but I can get by.
This may seem trivial but a huge worry for me every day is dinner. I don't know how to cook or plan meals. I know logically I can Google up how to do it, but it's incredibly intimidating. And again, what do I do when I start work? Eating out all the time is expensive.
I could go on forever. I've already vented a lot and I don't want to take over the thread or drag it down or whatever. Thanks to Tynic and anyone else who responds for your kind words.
Are you on Facebook? Are you in any parenting groups? I know a lot of parents who'd be stuck without their virtual parental friends - it can be hard to get out and socialize in real life when you have young kids, but we all definitely need support of some kind. I'd recommend trying to join one!
With regards to meals, you can go cheap and simple. My husband and I both work and often get home late and for a while I was microwaving $1 bags of frozen veggies and serving that with chicken. Boring, but easy, and frozen veg are decent nutrition-wise. If you have a crockpot or instant pot there are a lot of all-in-one type meals. For lunches at work, a loaf of bread + cheese + apple, etc.
EDIT: I'm not sure if those chicken thighs will be any good. They have stayed frozen for a while.
toss in some frozen mixed veggies (corn, carrots, peas, etc) in the last hour and you've got your veggies. Serve on a loaf of bread, buttered noodles, or steamed rice (you can use the microwave rice pouches in the store, or if you have a rice cooker, it will save your life) as your starch. boom. balanced meal. Toss on some shredded cheese for a bit of dairy/flavour if that's your thing.
there are heaps of slow cooker cook books and things out there which basically comes down to "dump these ingredients in. hit start. 8 hours later, magic has happened" and you can do a lot of food in a small amount of time.
no real advice on the rest, I wish that I could offer something other than empathy. But we're here for you to vent to.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I don't have a slow cooker, so I think I need to cook them in the oven for a time and then slather some bbq sauce towards the end. That sound about right?
I know we have some canned veggies and rice around here, so that takes care of that.
Methinks a visit to the cooking thread would be productive for me. If I could successfully cook an actual for real dinner for my family, that would be such a self esteem boost.
And yes, you can vent here too! As long as you’re able to offload/share somewhere.
I am completely fed up with life.
I'm putting one foot in front of the other right now. I wish I could take on my wife's pain, even for a while, to give her a break. I would do it with no hesitation.
No one but you knows how hard things are right now, but if you need to yell and cry and scream and rage at someone, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be your mental punching bag if you need it; hell, that's the entire reason I started the thread, for all of us to let it out and be honest and brutal in the ways we can't outside of this space, a pressure release valve if you will.
...
I am now going to hit you right in the feels: you are not a failure and you never will be.
My mom and I were broke as fuck when I was growing up, living paycheck to paycheck for pretty much my entire life; I honestly can't remember a time when she ate more than two meals a day. But I have never held that borderline homelessness and poverty against her and I never will.
Your family loves you and they can see you doing your best; that's all that matters. Yeah, sure, kids become asshole teenagers and then they eventually say awful shit, that's what teenagers do. But when you are giving your all to take care of everyone, that tremendous effort will never be forgotten.
If no one has told you lately, you are a good father and husband because you give a good goddamn and are doing everything in your power to make things happen.
Don't ever forget it.
Though it’s a bit trite I have a saying I’ve turned to and said internally almost as a mantra to help me through trying times:
It’s always darkest before the dawn, and morning will always come.
She had yesterday off though, so we met my parents at their hotel and then we all went to Disneyland. Turns out, 4 adults can have a pretty good time there! At some point this week we're all going to meet up in Santa Monica for dinner (girlfriend works up there), and I think we'll do pizza and beers at the local brewery another night. They're here til Thursday so we've got some time.
My parents have both started smoking though, and that bothers me. The flip side is that my dad has lost like 70lbs and that's good, because he was pretty overweight/obese for most of his adult life. Now I have to follow suit get myself in shape, but I deffo won't be taking up smoking to help.
I also learned through them that my aunt and uncle (my dad's brother) are possibly separating? They had been living apart for like 8 months because my aunt started a new job in a different state, but I guess the last time my uncle went out to stay with her she told him she wanted to get a divorce. It's not official yet and who knows how it'll work out, but it feels weird. My parents went through a rough patch in their marriage (which led to the smoking) right before I moved to LA but they worked it out and now they seem pretty happy again.
Could you get them to switch to vaping, perhaps? Don't worry, it is possible to vape without also getting neck tattoos and wearing a flat brim cap at all times.
I forgot to say thank you to Darth Waiter. You weren't kidding when you said it would hit me in the feels!
Yeah, that has basically been my assessment of his new weight loss plan. I have been fairly vocal about it, because while I realize they were experiencing a lot of stress over their relationship, who takes up smoking at ~50 years old?? Y'all know it's bad!
I hadn't really thought about moving them to vaping, maybe I could get them to move to a nicotine-added vape liquid and then wean them off that...
Any chance you can get a minute to talk to someone? Like a family member?
There is no one on my wife's side who I am that close too.
It's just me and my daughter home tonight. For some reason I have never felt less like and adult.
A local church charity may be able to help us with that, but I don't have it today when my wife needs it. Insurance is paying for a wheelchair and toilet seat thingy, but not a walker. I haven't been able to get that. Nobody has a job right now, so I can't pop over to Walmart to buy one. Everyone is surviving on my the retirement of my FiL. I'm scouring job sites and putting in applications, but no callbacks so far.
I don't know what to do. I'm torn between needing to stay home to take care of my wife and fear we may not have money to make our car payment, or even to buy food.
I feel like every shred and scrap of security is being stripped away from me. I want my life back goddamnit. I've got two young children, a very disabled wife, and the possibility of not having money to survive. I can't even take a job and know my wife is ok. Her mom has agreed to stay with us, but she's a old lady (in decent health) and I don't trust she can care for my wife due to her memory loss and mild dementia.
I am the only able bodied and trustworthy adult in the entire state and I feel extremely overwhelmed. I'm angry at the way my life is going. I'm not perfect, but my family and I do not deserve this kind of stress.
This is selfish of me, but I'm afraid of my own ability to handle my life. My wife is the one in pain and I'm relying on the retirement if an old man, but I'm afraid for myself.
I feel relieved more than anything. Taking care of her, even though she was ostensibly independent until around the New Year, has taken a lot of Mom’s time and energy these past few years.
And now I feel bad because all I can think of is how inconvenient it’s going to be to go to the funeral.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
http://www.hirenetworks.com
Hope this helps. Keep at it my dude, this too shall pass.
We've looked into that kind of stuff, but there is a lot of paperwork to appeal the "no" decisions, and we just get discouraged. That was a while ago. Depression is a hard thing to overcome on easy task.
@Atheraal I will definitely look into that! The last two jobs i got were through staffing services and it can't hurt to cast the net wide. Thanks for the referral.
To end this post on a happy note, since my wife broke her leg, I've had even more to contend with. She needs help with every little thing. It's hard and I still want to hide sometimes, but I've improved as a person. The me from three years ago would have been able handle this as well, or at all.
Please know that a big part of that is having you fine folks to vent to and, we'll, boost my self esteem some. Thank you.
There is no wrong in being happy for your mom to have her life back. There is no wrong in not wanting to go to a funeral, either.
I about lost it yesterday when the boys woke me up shreiking and I came down and she basically gave me a shrug of the shoulders. Like, my whole *life* for eight months has been trying to keep them quiet and entertained so she can rest for as long as she needs, and I can't have a nap when my candle has been thoroughly burnt at both ends? Really?
Eager to meet my little guy and worried and want to do everything I can to support my wife, but if I'd known about the HG beforehand and her actively checking out as a wife and mother for eight months, I probably would've just called it at two kids. This experience has been miserable
Yay everyone is over and done with the flu! Still gonna finish the tamiflu as instructed, but no one feels that bad anymore.
I and my MiL cleaned out our van. It had been hastily stuffed when we were evicted last year. Then I took it to a car wash and vacumed it out. It feels like a whole new machine.
I put in another job application for a desktop support role, but it's looking like I may have to go to a staffing service that does light industrial, I guess...? I'm not sure anymore. This one IT staffing service got me two placements back to back last year, but it looks like there is nothing going on at all. I truly don't know what to do and no joke I have a feeling of impending dread all the time. I'm a little miffed that a two year college certificate in computer networks looks to be no better than a high school diploma nowadays. I wish my debt reflected that.
Still, a decent day today.
You're a fantastic father and husband for putting up with all this. Life is treating you unfairly right now and you are handling it the best you can. That is all any of us can do.