If I had to send a message that was more than meaningless fluff (which is ultimately more insulting than the more complex understanding that comes with silence) to maintain all my friendships and acquaintances there would be way too much time dedicated to that
I spent several hours on the phone today talking to three people!
"and the morning stars I have seen
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
"We were just talking about how much we miss you."
Person hasn't messaged me in 7 months.
This is how I am to everyone, but I really do miss them!
Maybe I'm a little aggravated by this, but man I would totally love to hear an explanation for why so many people have such a hard time initiating contact.
Like, when I miss someone, when someone pops into my head and I wonder what they're up to, I message them. A lot of people don't seem to do this!
It gets really tiring being the guy who always starts the conversation. Saying you miss someone when at any time all you need to do is send them a text just seems like a really shallow interpretation of the word.
it's hard to just send a text sometimes
Yes, but I'm talking about every time.
For me it's every time.
Can you help me understand why?
depression
I also live with depression. It affects many aspects of my life, but not this way.
And this vexes me, because often when I am acutely depressed, the fact that there are people in my life who won't say boo unless I go first feels terrible. It is just the worst.
But if I'm pushing too much for an answer that isn't out there than I guess I'll just drop it. I just don't think this is a thing where you can go "depression" and expect it to be a sufficient response.
"non funziona molto bene" was what my dad always said when something was totally fucked
+4
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
I have a friend from college who took it super personally and imagined sleights when his friends weren't in constant contact with him. It was fucking exhausting. Everything he wanted to say was relentlessly cheery too and I was liek omg if I don't respond to your nothing text right away it doesn't mean I hate you but if you keep bitching about it I will soon
"We were just talking about how much we miss you."
Person hasn't messaged me in 7 months.
This is how I am to everyone, but I really do miss them!
Maybe I'm a little aggravated by this, but man I would totally love to hear an explanation for why so many people have such a hard time initiating contact.
Like, when I miss someone, when someone pops into my head and I wonder what they're up to, I message them. A lot of people don't seem to do this!
It gets really tiring being the guy who always starts the conversation. Saying you miss someone when at any time all you need to do is send them a text just seems like a really shallow interpretation of the word.
it's hard to just send a text sometimes
Yes, but I'm talking about every time.
For me it's every time.
Can you help me understand why?
depression
I also live with depression. It affects many aspects of my life, but not this way.
And this vexes me, because often when I am acutely depressed, the fact that there are people in my life who won't say boo unless I go first feels terrible. It is just the worst.
But if I'm pushing too much for an answer that isn't out there than I guess I'll just drop it. I just don't think this is a thing where you can go "depression" and expect it to be a sufficient response.
well people pointed out a better reason: A lot of people don't really see the point in just sending a random text
it's not really a cure for missing someone
and, shit, little is worse in a fading friendship than the "we should totally hang out!" exchanged whenever you bump into each other once in a blue moon. Or when it's not a fading friendship, a text is basically "Hello! We can't hang out but that'd be great! Okay!"
But as for why someone doesn't text you even when they kinda want to
depression
I don't know how it can vex you. For some arcane reason, something incredibly simple and easy to do, something beyond trivial, becomes impossible to actually make yourself do. It's just that. Just about going "hello" out of nowhere. It's no different than any other case where that happens, really.
I had some broth 2 hours ago and I've kept it down so far
first food since friday evening
success!
also I am craving applebee's nachos now
0
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
Ok I'm going to curl into a ball and get all hot and bothered over outlander now instead of sending a thousand catch up messages to friends I haven't been keeping in touch with
Sorry friends but Jamie Fraser's perfectly sculpted butt takes priority
If I had to send a message that was more than meaningless fluff (which is ultimately more insulting than the more complex understanding that comes with silence) to maintain all my friendships and acquaintances there would be way too much time dedicated to that
I spent several hours on the phone today talking to three people!
i used to get so much anxiety about feeling that i needed to be in constant contact with people in order to maintain friendships or fear losing them or somehow letting them wither away
constantly needing to know what people were up to esp thanks to inter/over-connected lives we lead
and that tied in with anxiety about people not responding to texts etc
etc etc
i worked thru that a lot recently in last 6 months with much self reflection and also discussing in therapy
i'm much more at peace
people's lives are busy you ain't know what they got going on or what's going on in their lives/heads
i have many thoughts on this since it was/is a big thing for me but
i mean cuz wash i very much was like u in the feel the need to initiate random convos with people who i ain't spoken to in a bit but idk not everyone thinks that way and worrying about it too much fux with your head and
i dunno
literally took months for me to work through this all
Porta potties were of comparative high quality and in significant quantities to allow for relatively ungross pre-race evacuation. I approved. Other races take note. Do not skimp on the fucking porta potties.
"We were just talking about how much we miss you."
Person hasn't messaged me in 7 months.
This is how I am to everyone, but I really do miss them!
Maybe I'm a little aggravated by this, but man I would totally love to hear an explanation for why so many people have such a hard time initiating contact.
Like, when I miss someone, when someone pops into my head and I wonder what they're up to, I message them. A lot of people don't seem to do this!
It gets really tiring being the guy who always starts the conversation. Saying you miss someone when at any time all you need to do is send them a text just seems like a really shallow interpretation of the word.
it's hard to just send a text sometimes
Yes, but I'm talking about every time.
For me it's every time.
Can you help me understand why?
depression
I also live with depression. It affects many aspects of my life, but not this way.
And this vexes me, because often when I am acutely depressed, the fact that there are people in my life who won't say boo unless I go first feels terrible. It is just the worst.
But if I'm pushing too much for an answer that isn't out there than I guess I'll just drop it. I just don't think this is a thing where you can go "depression" and expect it to be a sufficient response.
well people pointed out a better reason: A lot of people don't really see the point in just sending a random text
it's not really a cure for missing someone
and, shit, little is worse in a fading friendship than the "we should totally hang out!" exchanged whenever you bump into each other once in a blue moon.
But as for why someone doesn't text you even when they kinda want to
depression
I don't know how it can vex you. For some arcane reason, something incredibly simple and easy to do, something beyond trivial, becomes impossible to actually make yourself do. It's just that. Just about going "hello" out of nowhere. It's no different than any other case where that happens, really.
The obligatory "we should totally hang out!" is super awkward. It's not going to happen. Both parties know it. Neither party is especially bothered by it.
And I guess I am being a bit thick.
So here is a picture of a guy dressed up as Bob Ross on a surfboard as a means to end this conversation chain.
I have a friend from college who took it super personally and imagined sleights when his friends weren't in constant contact with him. It was fucking exhausting. Everything he wanted to say was relentlessly cheery too and I was liek omg if I don't respond to your nothing text right away it doesn't mean I hate you but if you keep bitching about it I will soon
I used to be like this. I decided that that was a terrible way to live. Instead, I just don't expect anything from anyone anymore at all. I walk a lonely road - the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but its home to me and I walk alone. I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one. I walk alone.
just starting a conversation, not in person, for no other purpose than to have a conversation, is either kind of taxing - like, what the fuck are we even going to talk about
or it's with an old friend instead of somebody I'd like to sleep with and then it's just a profoundly idiotic conversation. Which is nice, tho.
+1
Options
Nova_CI have the needThe need for speedRegistered Userregular
Ay nerds, help me decide which Lego building to get.
Palace Cinema
This is the oldest one on offer, and will probably disappear this year if I don't get it, but I dunno. It's not as cool as the other two...
Parisian Restaurant
This one just classy.
Detective's Office
This one is 2 small buildings together, and they're so niiiiiice.
HALP
Palace Cinema. Hands down, no question.
I have one question, actually.
How is your recommendation not Detective's Office?
Because the Palace Cinema is prettier.
+1
Options
HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
You know how people say "I read so much for college it just makes me really not want to read fiction or books I don't have to read"
I'm guessing that since most of our jobs consists of a lot of professional communication through emails and phones these days it just seems like work to be always communicating outside of that context
"We were just talking about how much we miss you."
Person hasn't messaged me in 7 months.
This is how I am to everyone, but I really do miss them!
Maybe I'm a little aggravated by this, but man I would totally love to hear an explanation for why so many people have such a hard time initiating contact.
Like, when I miss someone, when someone pops into my head and I wonder what they're up to, I message them. A lot of people don't seem to do this!
It gets really tiring being the guy who always starts the conversation. Saying you miss someone when at any time all you need to do is send them a text just seems like a really shallow interpretation of the word.
it's hard to just send a text sometimes
Yes, but I'm talking about every time.
For me it's every time.
Can you help me understand why?
depression
I also live with depression. It affects many aspects of my life, but not this way.
And this vexes me, because often when I am acutely depressed, the fact that there are people in my life who won't say boo unless I go first feels terrible. It is just the worst.
But if I'm pushing too much for an answer that isn't out there than I guess I'll just drop it. I just don't think this is a thing where you can go "depression" and expect it to be a sufficient response.
well people pointed out a better reason: A lot of people don't really see the point in just sending a random text
it's not really a cure for missing someone
and, shit, little is worse in a fading friendship than the "we should totally hang out!" exchanged whenever you bump into each other once in a blue moon.
But as for why someone doesn't text you even when they kinda want to
depression
I don't know how it can vex you. For some arcane reason, something incredibly simple and easy to do, something beyond trivial, becomes impossible to actually make yourself do. It's just that. Just about going "hello" out of nowhere. It's no different than any other case where that happens, really.
The obligatory "we should totally hang out!" is super awkward. It's not going to happen. Both parties know it. Neither party is especially bothered by it.
And I guess I am being a bit thick.
So here is a picture of a guy dressed up as Bob Ross on a surfboard as a means to end this conversation chain.
nah you're not being thick I'm just way too knackered for long phrasings
just starting a conversation, not in person, for no other purpose than to have a conversation, is either kind of taxing - like, what the fuck are we even going to talk about
or it's with an old friend instead of somebody I'd like to sleep with and then it's just a profoundly idiotic conversation. Which is nice, tho.
I start every conversation with "DTF?"
It's awkward sometimes, like when it's with my manager at work but whatever or I'm texting my father but whatever.
Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
0
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
Posts
what good is a message going to do really
I don't text or call them the rest of the year
but I love it when I meet them and we have a great time and fall right back into the old ways from being around each other all the time
I spent several hours on the phone today talking to three people!
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
I also live with depression. It affects many aspects of my life, but not this way.
And this vexes me, because often when I am acutely depressed, the fact that there are people in my life who won't say boo unless I go first feels terrible. It is just the worst.
But if I'm pushing too much for an answer that isn't out there than I guess I'll just drop it. I just don't think this is a thing where you can go "depression" and expect it to be a sufficient response.
NNID: Hakkekage
nice @mazzyx ... i did not buy any groceries and instead ate out twice and i am too tired to get groceries now fuck it
well people pointed out a better reason: A lot of people don't really see the point in just sending a random text
it's not really a cure for missing someone
and, shit, little is worse in a fading friendship than the "we should totally hang out!" exchanged whenever you bump into each other once in a blue moon. Or when it's not a fading friendship, a text is basically "Hello! We can't hang out but that'd be great! Okay!"
But as for why someone doesn't text you even when they kinda want to
depression
I don't know how it can vex you. For some arcane reason, something incredibly simple and easy to do, something beyond trivial, becomes impossible to actually make yourself do. It's just that. Just about going "hello" out of nowhere. It's no different than any other case where that happens, really.
first food since friday evening
success!
also I am craving applebee's nachos now
Sorry friends but Jamie Fraser's perfectly sculpted butt takes priority
NNID: Hakkekage
i used to get so much anxiety about feeling that i needed to be in constant contact with people in order to maintain friendships or fear losing them or somehow letting them wither away
constantly needing to know what people were up to esp thanks to inter/over-connected lives we lead
and that tied in with anxiety about people not responding to texts etc
etc etc
i worked thru that a lot recently in last 6 months with much self reflection and also discussing in therapy
i'm much more at peace
people's lives are busy you ain't know what they got going on or what's going on in their lives/heads
i have many thoughts on this since it was/is a big thing for me but
i do not feel like typing much i am tired
aren't we all tho
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
i dunno
literally took months for me to work through this all
I find it's really stressful to start a conversation specifically for the purpose of small talk, especially when you haven't seen someone in awhile.
It's like "Hey, I just called to randomly blabber for awhile because I like you" and omg what the fuck do you even say?
it seems likely
to desc, I bequeath my electronic comic books and whichever child he prefers
but I'm totally sure they're imagining it being for better and less stupid reasons
sometimes I'm kind of in a pit, sure
but I've always just had times where I'm simply enjoying the company of myself
Thx shaz I appreciated your text this morning
fyi I pooped before the run
Porta potties were of comparative high quality and in significant quantities to allow for relatively ungross pre-race evacuation. I approved. Other races take note. Do not skimp on the fucking porta potties.
NNID: Hakkekage
Can I get the other one
NNID: Hakkekage
The obligatory "we should totally hang out!" is super awkward. It's not going to happen. Both parties know it. Neither party is especially bothered by it.
And I guess I am being a bit thick.
So here is a picture of a guy dressed up as Bob Ross on a surfboard as a means to end this conversation chain.
NOTHING
I used to be like this. I decided that that was a terrible way to live. Instead, I just don't expect anything from anyone anymore at all. I walk a lonely road - the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but its home to me and I walk alone. I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one. I walk alone.
or it's with an old friend instead of somebody I'd like to sleep with and then it's just a profoundly idiotic conversation. Which is nice, tho.
Because the Palace Cinema is prettier.
I'm guessing that since most of our jobs consists of a lot of professional communication through emails and phones these days it just seems like work to be always communicating outside of that context
At least that's my theory
NNID: Hakkekage
nah you're not being thick I'm just way too knackered for long phrasings
look I'm not doing a full reading of the will here
y'all will have to gather together like in a movie to hear my wacky stipulations
I start every conversation with "DTF?"
It's awkward sometimes, like when it's with my manager at work but whatever or I'm texting my father but whatever.
Ugh fine you get an awesome for being right but know that I resent you for it
NNID: Hakkekage
totes jelly right now
Omg plz skippy plz pls plx
NNID: Hakkekage
fukkin sprogs
(this kid needs a haircut bad)