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I work with history's greatest monster in the [job] thread.

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    WassermeloneWassermelone Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Do what the pros do, invent your own font.

    Make sure to put font-building on your 'skills' list.

    What a tynical amateur move. I write my resume in a language of my own creation.

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Now I wanna see the resume of a professional font artist.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    As if a professional font artist would ever need a resume.

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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Now I wanna see the resume of a professional font artist.

    The preferred nomenclature is "fontsmith"

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    ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... and hard.Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Do what the pros do, invent your own font.

    Make sure to put font-building on your 'skills' list.

    What a tynical amateur move. I write my resume in a language of my own creation.

    This is either a great pun or a wonderful typo.

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    ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular

    Sitting in the Starbucks in the floor below where I work, passing time before I head in.

    There's a really, really high person arguing with security. She's not really using coherent English, and she's yelling that the security guard is trying to steal her chair. She looks barely able to stand. For her part, the security guard is being really polite and trying to descalate the situation with the person yelling about how she needs that chair because the other chairs are all wrong and the guard is just trying to take her chair. The guard is trying to give the high person her hat back, but the high person suspects that the guard has done something with it. The guard also looks to be trying to get the high woman to maybe get some medical help.

    Thank you, God, for reminding me how great my office job is in comparison to those of some other people.

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    Sitting in the Starbucks in the floor below where I work, passing time before I head in.

    There's a really, really high person arguing with security. She's not really using coherent English, and she's yelling that the security guard is trying to steal her chair. She looks barely able to stand. For her part, the security guard is being really polite and trying to descalate the situation with the person yelling about how she needs that chair because the other chairs are all wrong and the guard is just trying to take her chair. The guard is trying to give the high person her hat back, but the high person suspects that the guard has done something with it. The guard also looks to be trying to get the high woman to maybe get some medical help.

    Thank you, God, for reminding me how great my office job is in comparison to those of some other people.

    Call the cops and do him a favor. He probably can't because of some dumb policy, but it sounds like you should for her own safety at least.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Shadowhope wrote: »
    Sitting in the Starbucks in the floor below where I work, passing time before I head in.

    There's a really, really high person arguing with security. She's not really using coherent English, and she's yelling that the security guard is trying to steal her chair. She looks barely able to stand. For her part, the security guard is being really polite and trying to descalate the situation with the person yelling about how she needs that chair because the other chairs are all wrong and the guard is just trying to take her chair. The guard is trying to give the high person her hat back, but the high person suspects that the guard has done something with it. The guard also looks to be trying to get the high woman to maybe get some medical help.

    Thank you, God, for reminding me how great my office job is in comparison to those of some other people.

    Call the cops and do him a favor. He probably can't because of some dumb policy, but it sounds like you should for her own safety at least.

    Both the guard and the high woman are women.

    That's something that I've noticed about mall security here - if there's an issue with a guy, they use a guy to talk him down, and if it's a woman they use a woman. They keep their distance, they always have backup nearby, and they deescalate really well. Mall security here are actually really surprisingly good - to the point where I think that I trust them to be able to peacefully handle drunks/stoned people over the police.

    Which I suppose is sort of a scary thing to say.

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
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    WassermeloneWassermelone Registered User regular
    ASimPerson wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    Do what the pros do, invent your own font.

    Make sure to put font-building on your 'skills' list.

    What a tynical amateur move. I write my resume in a language of my own creation.

    This is either a great pun or a wonderful typo.

    Absolutely intentional!

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    MuzzmuzzMuzzmuzz Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    So, district manager sent a e-mail to all local franchise owners about a scammer trying to get free sandwiches out of some stores.

    Our owner posted it, and I noticed the various owner names. One of the owners is named.....


    Charles Xavier.

    Muzzmuzz on
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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Charles Xavier's Restaurant for Gifted Sandwiches

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    The president of the International Federation of Landscape Architects in a lecture she just asked if anyone was a Doctor Who fan and I was the only one who said yes and she made a reference no one else would get and I think we now have a special bond.

    mobile typos

    Liiya on
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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Liiya wrote: »
    The president of the International Federation of Landscape Architects in a lecture she just did asked if anyone was a Doctor Who fan and I was the only one who said yes and she made a reference no one else would get and I think we now have a special bond.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

    but seriously that's cool. I imagine figuring out how to make green spaces Dalek resistant is quite a challenge as well

    Naphtali on
    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
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    LasbrookLasbrook It takes a lot to make a stew When it comes to me and youRegistered User regular
    Nothing like forgetting to turn your alarm back on for your first day back to work after a vacation.

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    mxmarksmxmarks Registered User regular
    Lately ive really been able to make freelancing work, and work well. Making more than I ever have, having more control of my hours and my time off, and just generally finally excited that I seem to have found my career groove after decades of feeling hopeless.

    Then last night eating popcorn I cracked my molar in half and a filling fell out or something and FUCK I don't have dental insurance anymore.

    PSN: mxmarks - WiiU: mxmarks - twitter: @ MikesPS4 - twitch.tv/mxmarks - "Yes, mxmarks is the King of Queens" - Unbreakable Vow
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    The president of the International Federation of Landscape Architects in a lecture she just did asked if anyone was a Doctor Who fan and I was the only one who said yes and she made a reference no one else would get and I think we now have a special bond.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

    but seriously that's cool. I imagine figuring out how to make green spaces Dalek resistant is quite a challenge as well

    You need a lot of stairs ! Sacred nerd bond.

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    AthenorAthenor Battle Hardened Optimist The Skies of HiigaraRegistered User regular
    Ugh. New consultant & boss apparently ignored our design documents and forgot a use case.. and as a result we may have some serious corruption entering into our designs.

    He/Him | "A boat is always safest in the harbor, but that’s not why we build boats." | "If you run, you gain one. If you move forward, you gain two." - Suletta Mercury, G-Witch
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    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Athenor wrote: »
    Ugh. New consultant & boss apparently ignored our design documents and forgot a use case.. and as a result we may have some serious corruption entering into our designs.

    Sauron's reach is great indeed.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Now I want to know what the reference was.

    Unless the stairs one was it.

    steam_sig.png
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    The context was she was trying to describe a town on the Thames river which is in a state of disrepair that no one wants to live in because there are industrial areas surrounding it on all sides, and as she was flying over it in a plane she was describing the way the residential area was a huge beacon of light, but the industrial areas around were a vast emptiness of no light and blackness, and the only way she could think to describe it was like the Crack In The Wall/Universe. How the residential area was the only light around and stood out so much.

    It is not the most exciting reference. Especially if you're not a LA.

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Conference call time again. I can't wait to not provide input or establish any kind of meaningful dialogue.

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Just heard:

    -Lean
    -Six Sigma
    -Process Improvement
    -Continuous Improvement

    I have no idea why they think I need to know that shit.

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    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Just heard:

    -Lean
    -Six Sigma
    -Process Improvement
    -Continuous Improvement

    I have no idea why they think I need to know that shit.

    Sounds like everyone is getting laid off and the department moved to India. God forbid they start to say "agile". If the business needs to be more agile it is definitely happening.

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
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    MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Just heard:

    -Lean
    -Six Sigma
    -Process Improvement
    -Continuous Improvement

    I have no idea why they think I need to know that shit.

    Sounds like everyone is getting laid off and the department moved to India. God forbid they start to say "agile". If the business needs to be more agile it is definitely happening.

    A couple more buzzwords and you'll have bingo.

    ruby-red-sig.jpg
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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Sigma Six Black Belt has always sounded like something a 20 something startup suburbanite came up with because he contemplated Tai Chi that one time after watching a 24 marathon.

    When I first heard about it in an announcement email for a new exec, I thought it was a joke.

    It sounds like the Top Secret rank for Snake Eyes and Stormshadow.

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    MadEddy wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Just heard:

    -Lean
    -Six Sigma
    -Process Improvement
    -Continuous Improvement

    I have no idea why they think I need to know that shit.

    Sounds like everyone is getting laid off and the department moved to India. God forbid they start to say "agile". If the business needs to be more agile it is definitely happening.

    A couple more buzzwords and you'll have bingo.

    And an aneurysm.

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Yukira wrote: »
    Sigma Six Black Belt has always sounded like something a 20 something startup suburbanite came up with because he contemplated Tai Chi that one time after watching a 24 marathon.

    When I first heard about it in an announcement email for a new exec, I thought it was a joke.

    It sounds like the Top Secret rank for Snake Eyes and Stormshadow.

    "Excuse me, but I believe you should be pronouncing it as kara-tay."

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Yukira wrote: »
    Sigma Six Black Belt has always sounded like something a 20 something startup suburbanite came up with because he contemplated Tai Chi that one time after watching a 24 marathon.

    When I first heard about it in an announcement email for a new exec, I thought it was a joke.

    It sounds like the Top Secret rank for Snake Eyes and Stormshadow.

    It sounds like half a math problem.

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    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Seriously though agile is a code word for huge layoffs. They kept saying it here after Target shut down Canada operations.

    Then a day later they layed off like... 3000 people.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    I tried to tell my ex I was just trying to stay agile in this competitive market.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    AthenorAthenor Battle Hardened Optimist The Skies of HiigaraRegistered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Seriously though agile is a code word for huge layoffs. They kept saying it here after Target shut down Canada operations.

    Then a day later they later off like... 3000 people.

    Sad part is that I'm learning about Agile.. and in a perfect world, it may work... but no one fucking does it right.

    He/Him | "A boat is always safest in the harbor, but that’s not why we build boats." | "If you run, you gain one. If you move forward, you gain two." - Suletta Mercury, G-Witch
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    JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Athenor wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    Seriously though agile is a code word for huge layoffs. They kept saying it here after Target shut down Canada operations.

    Then a day later they later off like... 3000 people.

    Sad part is that I'm learning about Agile.. and in a perfect world, it may work... but no one fucking does it right.

    I don't know what capital A Agile(TM) means, but I don't think they meant that.

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    It's a project management term.

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    I don't believe I've ever worked with anyone who was six-sigma black belt and had their following of those guidelines actually improve the project flow

    If anything, it became a sign for "We're going to have lots of meetings, but not much of anything productive will come out of them"

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
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    NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular
    That's why I've come to love/hate Wednesdays.
    We have 1 meeting in the morning that can take about 30 minutes, and another in the afternoon that can take around 60.

    Luckily it's scheduled for 60 minutes before we leave, but it's like half the day's productivity is gone because we're stuck in a room somewhere.

    newSig.jpg
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    FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    In a letter that arrived the same day as the 401k statement from my company: (I'm paraphrasing here) Enrollment is down so we're going to stop matching your 401k contribution. It really helped with the budget!

    Huh...
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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Fuckin

    The overuse of buzzwords makes my day to day life as a vocational training guy that much harder

    Continuous improvement is a thing! A good thing! The moment it gets mentioned, you can see at least like half the group start shutting down.

    You actually start getting real sneaky about it.

    "So you see, guys, when we have accurate monitoring systems looking at the right things and we commit enough of our time to making sure that what we're doing is the most effective thing, we increase our chances of saving money.

    Monitor
    Measure
    Review

    Or as some people like to call it, CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT HAHAHAHAHAHA THATS RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WELCOME TO MIDDLE MANAGEMENT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    thing about Agile is that it only works for product development/engineering and thats about it.

    it does not work for marketing departments, sales, HR, finance, etc.

    bits of Agile might be good practice for any team, like stand-ups, but the whole Epic, Sprint, Spike stuff that agile really revolves around doesnt fit into those other workstreams.

    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    TefTef Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    I will never forget walking through the University district shopping centre in Seattle and the Starbucks staff were having a staff meeting in the open space out the front.

    I listened to baristas I ironically discuss alignment paradigms to gain engagement for a good long time

    Tef on
    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    cr0wcr0w Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Goddammit. My office is right around the corner from the receptionist's desk, and we have marble floors out there. Our receptionist, without fail, wears high heels to work and is a very high-energy, high-strung lady. I don't know what she's doing, or why she's going back and forth to the copy machine and the accounting office every 30 seconds, but for the entire morning all I'm hearing, constantly, is the sound of her jogging in her high heels back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. I'm about to lose it.

This discussion has been closed.