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I work with history's greatest monster in the [job] thread.

19394959698

Posts

  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Got a senior accountant position at Trident Seafoods. Going to be doing some cost, and some regular financial/corp accounting. The team there seems nice and the environment appears to be not very stressful. It's a bit of a commute for now, but we may be moving to accommodate that. It's a lateral move, salary-wise, but I am able to start right after my current job is wrapping up in a couple weeks so I'll be able to have no gap in paychecks and then I can use my full severance and vacation payout for paying off debt and stuff.

    I dunno man, something about this sounds fishy.

    usnTyq4.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    The GeekGoldenSeducerNobodySporkAndrewPlatyCambiataMadEddyMayabirdMuzzmuzzSyphyreToxSkeithBucketmanSlacker71
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    So, let me tell you folks some work stories.
    First: The Swollen Knowledge

    So my coworker, the director of our summer day camp, has been a close friend of mine for near eight years. And we've been getting closer through this job, but not in a romantic way. She's engaged and I love her fiance and I'm super pumped for her wedding in August (I'm the official partymeister for it). No, her & I are exchanging really personal bits of info. We have discussed intimate elements of our bodies and are generally getting more comfortable with each other in a physical sense (she took her top off in my car as we drove to a bar one night). Well, this dialogue happened this morning:

    Me: Sammy, you know swamp ass? Well yesterday I think I had swamp body.
    Sammy: Okay, I have to tell someone besides my fiance this. You know how I said I am going commando about 50% of the time.
    Me: Ugh... Yes?
    Sammy: Well Wednesday I wore those Capri pants and my labia become swollen from all the sweat.
    Me: GOOD GOD WOMAN!
    Sammy: I know! I got home and just looked at it in the mirror, it was so gross!
    Me: AUGH!!!!!
    Second: The Unknown Mom-beast

    A mother has been getting angry at us because I have requested she show her ID when she picks up her children at the end of the summer camp. This is our city's policy with children being picked up and generally just a good safety measure. Well this mother doesn't like the effort of having to go retrieve her ID from the car so she gave me some grief about it Wednesday. I told my coworker and the mother gave her equal grief when the topic was brought up. Well at the end of today she came in and immediately opened up with, "Listen, I left my ID at my home which is 45 minutes away and I am not going to go get it and you can't hold my children away from me so I'm taking them right now." So I told her I wasn't going to hold her children from her but was going to check in with my supervisor regarding the situation. She continued to fester with rage and after I told her about our city's policy she tried to chew me out. She later called asking for my supervisor's name and my name in a, what I can presume, attempt to try to get my fired. Well, my supervisor joked about this afterward, so good luck there lady.
    Thirdly: The Lady of the Lake er... Pool

    I met up with my coworker and my supervisor after work for some hotdogs & beers. Early into the dinner I brought this up:

    Me: So, we aren't city employees right now.
    Them: Okay.
    Me: There is an employee at the city pool who is... I'm enticed.
    Supervisor: No!
    Coworker: Wait, which one? Some of them are pretty young.
    Me: The one working today, who's friends with one of our employees.
    Coworker: Oh, her? No! No..... I heard she's crazy!
    Me: Oh my....
    Coworker: Crazy!!!
    Me: You really shouldn't say that to guys, it excites us.
    Supervisor: Don't hit on her! She's a city employee and she's crazy and we have to work with her for nine more weeks.

    So we ate & drank and near the end of the dinner I drifted us back into that familiar topic.

    Me: So, just to reconfirm I am getting the go ahead to hit on that pool employee?
    Supervisor: NO!
    Me: This is outrageous.
    Supervisor: You can't hit on her! You can't hit on anyone working for the city!
    Me: Oh, the entire city is just cock-blocking me here!?!
    Supervisor: JUST STOP TRYING TO FUCK EVERYONE IN IT!!!!

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
    RayzelonelyahavaSorceVegemytewebguy20ToxErin The Redbuilderr0rGoldenSeducerKwoaruBucketmanSlacker71DisruptedCapitalist
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2015
    I feel like that last bit is very good advice for you specifically, Zonugal

    Stop trying to fuck everyone

    Only try to fuck some people

    And if someone says 'don't try to fuck this person'

    I'm sure you can find someone else to try and fuck that will work out for everyone

    Houk the Namebringer on
    chromdomBucketmanSlacker71
  • existexist Registered User regular
    ain't into having read that first story. not stoked about that little part of my night.

    UmPiq.png
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    I'm going to community college for my certification training, and I just got this in my email. It just seems so much like something Dean Pelton would send out I had to laugh.
    Dear Students,

    [college] placed benches around parts of the perimeter of the downtown campus as a pilot program with the goal of providing a venue for people - our students, faculty, staff and community - to sit, relax, read and talk. However, in the past months and, in particular, in recent days we have seen an increase in the number of people using the benches for all the wrong reasons; this has required more attention from Dallas PD and from our officers. I understand and appreciate that there are diverse views - positive, negative and neutral - surrounding the placement of these benches.

    In order to protect the integrity of the college, the benches will be removed starting this morning.

    Thank you.

  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    So sex or homeless people? Or is it...
    Skateboarders?

  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    So sex or homeless people? Or is it...
    Skateboarders?

    I dunno, I'm not downtown often enough to see. Probably a mix of homeless and drug dealers, I'm pretty sure I saw a couple selling pot around there a couple of weeks ago.

  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    Sex/midnight makeouts
    No Doubts here

    VayBJ4e.png
  • CimmeriiCimmerii SpaceOperaGhost Registered User regular
    All of the above.

    *Internally Screaming*
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Okay, best item sold in combination with alcohol tonight: a yoyo. I know I'm going to see that guy on YouTube.

    ToxNocrenJebusUDUsagiDarth WaiterMr FuzzbuttBucketmanDisruptedCapitalistBilliardball
  • PirusuPirusu Pierce Registered User regular
    Or in the ER.

  • JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    JOB GET

    @The Geek

    Hooray! Congratulations! :biggrin:

    HuDiQR.jpg

    MadEddyCurly_BraceDonovan PuppyfuckerNaphtalibuilderr0rchromdomKaplarSkeithN1tSt4lkerGoldenSeducerCalicaDarth Waiterdurandal4532BucketmanSlacker71SporkAndrewNija
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Got a senior accountant position at Trident Seafoods. Going to be doing some cost, and some regular financial/corp accounting. The team there seems nice and the environment appears to be not very stressful. It's a bit of a commute for now, but we may be moving to accommodate that. It's a lateral move, salary-wise, but I am able to start right after my current job is wrapping up in a couple weeks so I'll be able to have no gap in paychecks and then I can use my full severance and vacation payout for paying off debt and stuff.

    Good luck, don't fork it up

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    MadEddyMuzzmuzzToxW2Mr. ButtonsTofystedethBucketmanSlacker71
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    A week ago: "I wont be in to see the rota as I'm away, will I just be in on Sunday like usual next week?"
    Manager: "Yes!"

    Today, friend: "Why aren't you in work? You are on the rota."

    ARGH.

    tynicDevoutlyApatheticToxThat Dave FellaDonovan PuppyfuckerV1mSolarAngelinaNitsuaSkeithGoldenSeducerBrovid HasselsmofBucketmanSlacker71
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Cimmerii wrote: »
    All of the above.

    At the same time.

    Homeless people having sex on skateboards.

    BLM - ACAB
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Pirusu wrote: »
    Or in the ER.

    First one, then the other.

    ToxNocrenUsagiBucketman
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    JOB GET

    IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR TRADITIONS, I CONGRATULATE YOU
    fda5e626c2b4d3f3dd4f5dcbf6d57afc.jpg

    what? Oh it's red?
    Eh, we'll fix it in post.

    hqdefault.jpg

    I write you a story
    But it loses its thread
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    JebusUD wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    JOB GET

    IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR TRADITIONS, I CONGRATULATE YOU
    fda5e626c2b4d3f3dd4f5dcbf6d57afc.jpg

    what? Oh it's red?
    Eh, we'll fix it in post.

    hqdefault.jpg

    The joke is, he never fixes it in post.

    DarkPrimus on
    usnTyq4.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    GethKaplarErin The RedToxBucketman
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    A week ago: "I wont be in to see the rota as I'm away, will I just be in on Sunday like usual next week?"
    Manager: "Yes!"

    Today, friend: "Why aren't you in work? You are on the rota."

    ARGH.

    Ahh sure feels great to be told everyone was freaking out and asking where I was. I am pretty pissed off about this. Luckily I am not the first person she's done this to.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    That's crap, that is

    Improper communication

    builderr0rLiiyatynicNitsuaSkeithCurly_BraceSorceCalicaErin The RedVegemyteProlegomenaYukiraDarth WaiterToxMadEddyBucketmanSlacker71Donovan PuppyfuckerNija
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    I feel like that last bit is very good advice for you specifically, Zonugal

    Stop trying to fuck everyone

    Only try to fuck some people

    And if someone says 'don't try to fuck this person'

    I'm sure you can find someone else to try and fuck that will work out for everyone

    I'm not trying to fuck everyone in my small town.

    Just the good looking folks, which are in the minority.

    I mean, it is slim pickings around here.

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
    builderr0rTox
  • KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    JOB GET

    IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR TRADITIONS, I CONGRATULATE YOU
    fda5e626c2b4d3f3dd4f5dcbf6d57afc.jpg

    what? Oh it's red?
    Eh, we'll fix it in post.

    hqdefault.jpg

    The joke is, he never fixes it in post.

    Nothing gets fixed in post.

    N1tSt4lkerDarkPrimusErin The RedToxSlacker71
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Kaplar wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    JebusUD wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    JOB GET

    IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR TRADITIONS, I CONGRATULATE YOU
    fda5e626c2b4d3f3dd4f5dcbf6d57afc.jpg

    what? Oh it's red?
    Eh, we'll fix it in post.

    hqdefault.jpg

    The joke is, he never fixes it in post.

    Nothing gets fixed in post.

    I just liked the idea of you pulling a Bill O style flip out about it not being red.

    Fuck it! We'll do it live!

    As if such a thing we're possible.

    You probably need to enhance as well.

    I write you a story
    But it loses its thread
  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    I feel like I might be becoming a That Guy in IT, specifically the one who hoards his knowledge so that only he has it. I work for a smallish company of software engineers, and over the last couple years we've started taking on more virtual world projects. Now, not a single person has been hired into the company on the basis of their skills with 3d modelling, graphics, game design, any of that; as far as I know they don't even ask about it during interviews. Over the past few years I've picked up some skills in Blender and GIMP and OpenSim etc, and over the past few months I've started on Unity. Even bought some design software personally on Steam which I've been using at work, because the company sure ain't buying any. I'm pretty sure there's solid months I've spent just practicing things in Blender, during slow times. The upshot of this is that I probably know more about virtual world development tools than anyone else at the company, at least I would like to think so.

    Recently the only other person at the company who knows anything about Unity said they'd be leaving in a couple weeks, while we have a couple of VW projects running at the same time...and I'm the only other one slotted to be doing any real work on them. Now, they will be putting some literally brand-new hires onto the projects, but given that like every other hire they have no experience in any of this, odds are they'd be getting up to speed about 6 months after the projects are due. And...I'm actually kind of torn on how much I should be going out of my way to educate them on stuff. I mean, no one's asked me to even talk to them as yet, but it would make those projects easier if they knew as much about the tools as I do. On the other hand, I feel like my being 'The VW Guy' is the only leverage I have at getting any sort of decent raise during my next review. Like, if I were also to quit in the next month, at least one of these three projects would probably crash and burn. And the sooner I'm replaceable, the sooner I lose any hope of getting paid what I suspect I'm worth.

    Sometimes I wonder if the bosses even realize how unlikely it is that they can sign up for these contracts and have people on staff able to do them. That I haven't been asked to even talk to the new guys makes me think they figure any Comp Sci major can just pick it up like another programming language or something. Object oriented programming is not useful when you're trying to rig a skeleton and animate it to climb up some ladders, I can tell you that.

    tynicToxDis'
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Well yesterday was interesting. Base manager drove to Joburg to collect the new batch of volunteers, and got into a head-on collision when a car overtook a lorry on a blind corner. So had to drive three hours to the hospital to meet them and we all stayed in a hotel for the night. Thankfully nobody is seriously injured (a miracle considering the state of the minibus), but what a fucking start to their trip.

    tynicSkeithASimPersonErin The RedCurly_BraceToxFalxpixiecowchromdomDarth WaiterMadEddySlacker71Donovan PuppyfuckerDisruptedCapitalistNightDragon
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Scooter wrote: »
    I feel like I might be becoming a That Guy in IT, specifically the one who hoards his knowledge so that only he has it. I work for a smallish company of software engineers, and over the last couple years we've started taking on more virtual world projects. Now, not a single person has been hired into the company on the basis of their skills with 3d modelling, graphics, game design, any of that; as far as I know they don't even ask about it during interviews. Over the past few years I've picked up some skills in Blender and GIMP and OpenSim etc, and over the past few months I've started on Unity. Even bought some design software personally on Steam which I've been using at work, because the company sure ain't buying any. I'm pretty sure there's solid months I've spent just practicing things in Blender, during slow times. The upshot of this is that I probably know more about virtual world development tools than anyone else at the company, at least I would like to think so.

    Recently the only other person at the company who knows anything about Unity said they'd be leaving in a couple weeks, while we have a couple of VW projects running at the same time...and I'm the only other one slotted to be doing any real work on them. Now, they will be putting some literally brand-new hires onto the projects, but given that like every other hire they have no experience in any of this, odds are they'd be getting up to speed about 6 months after the projects are due. And...I'm actually kind of torn on how much I should be going out of my way to educate them on stuff. I mean, no one's asked me to even talk to them as yet, but it would make those projects easier if they knew as much about the tools as I do. On the other hand, I feel like my being 'The VW Guy' is the only leverage I have at getting any sort of decent raise during my next review. Like, if I were also to quit in the next month, at least one of these three projects would probably crash and burn. And the sooner I'm replaceable, the sooner I lose any hope of getting paid what I suspect I'm worth.

    Sometimes I wonder if the bosses even realize how unlikely it is that they can sign up for these contracts and have people on staff able to do them. That I haven't been asked to even talk to the new guys makes me think they figure any Comp Sci major can just pick it up like another programming language or something. Object oriented programming is not useful when you're trying to rig a skeleton and animate it to climb up some ladders, I can tell you that.



    Yeah, if you're going to put some effort into making yourself expendable, then you need to make sure that you're appropriately recognised and rewarded for it. Just doing it will get you jack shit. It's not only possible but very likely that your bosses genuinely do not realise the situation. Your task is to bring them gently to that realisation.

    Do you have some holiday days...?

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    Yay Sunday at the airport, flight delayed, and just realized the hotel booking doesn't start until tomorrow night.

    Not pleased

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    On one hand, I'm sad that I'm going into work tomorrow and having a one day weekend, but I'm covering for a guy because his wife had a stroke so I feel like a jerk for feeling sorry for myself

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Well, you know

    It sucks for that dude and his wife and no mistake

    doesn't make the short weekend for you any more pleasant

    good of you to cover him though

    tynicNocrenLiiyaDarth WaiterSilverWindYukiraMadEddyturtleantSkeithAngelinawebguy20Slacker71ToxDisruptedCapitalistKadithErin The RedCimmeriipixiecow
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Well, it looks like I get to work ten hour days for the next eight days because of our systems being merged for United records and the last lingering shreds of Continental records.

    Roughly thirty hours of OT on a single paycheck is going to be pretty cool, but goddamn that's a lot of hours.

    tynicYukirachromdomMadEddySorceSkeithAngelinaNaphtaliKadithNijaErin The RedCimmeriipixiecow
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    Today at work I am loading the set of Singin' In The Rain into trucks bound for a theater in Southern California. The irony of the fact that a SoCal theater is doing a run of Singin' In The Rain amid the state's worst drought in hundreds of years is not lost on my coworkers.

    tynicDarth WaiterMadEddylonelyahavaSkeithSlacker71Erin The Redpixiecow
  • DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I learned that my manager put in for mine, and a few other people's, promotions but they were rejected out of hand
    Due to "market conditions". Sucks for me.

    Nitsua
  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Today I finished helping my brother build a desk on the back of his house. My upper body is tired.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


    JebusUDDonovan Puppyfucker
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Neville came through my store a little bit ago.

    ASimPersonchromdomUsagiThe GeekSlacker71TheStigErin The Redpixiecow
  • BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    Two fun things today:
    Lady I sold an Iphone to the other day came in
    Lady: I want to return this phone. Its terrible and I hate it. I'm going to the other store on the other side of town.
    Me: I apologize you didn't like the phone, was there also a problem with the service I gave you that would make you not want to shop here?
    Lady: No, but I was just over there and they wouldn't return this and said you guys arn't a real store.
    Me: Well...I can promise I am not a man selling a monkey's paw
    Lady: blank stare
    Me: So why don't you like your iphone?
    Lady: I put a passcode lock on it and was out of town this weekend and for got it and couldn't get into my phone.
    Me: Oh...thats not just an Apple feature, if you put a passlock on the phone you can't access the phone without inputting the passcode.
    Lady: Why, thats dumb
    Me:Well you can just leave it unlocked
    Lady: THEN ANYONE COULD GET IN MY PHONE!

    I talked her out of it, but man, really?

    Then my shittastic boss told me 'something came up' and now I have to work tomorrow, my day off, in exchange he might be able to work for me Tuesday. Might. Oh and he said I might need to work on the 3rd, my other day off this week. I think if he says I have to work either Tuesday or the 3rd I'm going to tell him to fuck off.

    Donovan PuppyfuckerjgeisNightDragon
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    I took 2 days off for my birthday, then I had my regular days off for the weekend, then I called in for tomorrow cuz why not

    I'd feel bad, except we went from 8-10 hours of mandatory OT (due to response time) to 0 OT allowed AT ALL (even voluntary) within a week and got NO THANKS or recognition at all

    They literally went "mandatory OT for the rest of the week is cancelled. No voluntary OT next week, hope you didn't need to pay your bills"

    Not even a "hey good job"

    So I get an extended extended birthday weekend

    Sorce
  • Dis'Dis' Registered User regular
    I haven't been assigned a desk in the new department yet, and all the other survivors of my old department closing are off this week.

    So I'm all alone in an empty open plan office with about 30 desks.

    Everything is silent.

    This is weird.

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Stack the desks into a monstrous fort, with your workplace at the impenetrable centre.

    lonelyahavaDarth WaiterV1mYukiraDonovan PuppyfuckerKadithSheriNijaErin The RedInfidelNightDragonAngelinaSkeithpixiecowSporkAndrewN1tSt4lker
  • Dis'Dis' Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Stack the desks into a monstrous fort, with your workplace at the impenetrable centre.

    Unfortunately the VP's window is across the courtyard, else the ramparts of Schreibtischfestung would already be rising.

    tynicFishmanYukiraDonovan Puppyfuckerdestroyah87Erin The RedMadEddySkeithSlacker71
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Take a picture of the room as it normally appears, print off that picture in large scale and tape it to the windows so that from the VPs office everything looks normal.

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




    V1mtynicJoeUserSorcedestroyah87GizzyNijaErin The RedMadEddyAngelinaSkeithpixiecowLabel
This discussion has been closed.