I like this guy but he is being confusing

biancalee22

I was new in 8th grade, there was this popular guy in one of my classes, he was always staring at me and later started to flirt with me, his friends also hinted a lot that he had a crush on me, we had crushes on each other for all of 8th grade.
But then, one day my friend went and talked to him after school (without my permission)
the convo went like this-
friend- do you like (my name)?
him- like a friend?
friend- No! the other way!
him- (after hesitation and blushing) yes
friend- then why don't you talk to her more?
him- I do but she always ignores me!
friend- well talk to her bc she likes you.
Then that same night my other friend found his number and asked him if he liked me, but he responded sarcastically (saying Yes, yeah i totally like her or something like that) I think he did this bc he actually doesn’t know this girl but he knew it was my friend bc she texted him with her email, and he saw her name. But he knew the girl that talked to him in person so maybe he was more honest.
Then after that he never talked to me, he always stared at me, and his friends are still clueless that all of this happened, at least i think most of them are.
Now 9th grade-
we have no classes w/ each other, but he always stares at me in the hallways, and whenever my friends say my name loudly he always turns around and looks for me (this has happened a lot).
A few months ago (in 9th grade)
My friend found his number and texted him about me, she basically pretended that she was trying to tell her friend who I liked, but had accidentally texted someone else. she told him that I liked him and he said he already knew that last year, and he was replying fastly but all of a sudden after she asked him if he liked me back, he stopped responding. A few days after that i texted him through her phone saying something along the lines of "Hi this is (my name), I didn't know my friend was texting you idk how she got ur number, she won't text u again bye"
Recently my friend has gotten one of her friends who is friends with him to ask him if he likes someone, and he said "no one at the moment". Me and my friend think he said that bc the girl that asked him is a girl so he might not be comfortable about telling her. I know I have kind of been mean to him this year bc although we didn't talk at all this year, I rolled my eyes at him a lot when I saw him, and I got my friend to do the same. One time when I was walking past him I kept looking back and I laughed/smirked meanly. I am pretty sure he thinks that we are taunting him for liking me, and that i don't actually like him back! Idk why I was so mean to him this year, I guess its bc with all the texting thing and the number of times my friends approached him I didn't want to seem to obsessive and I thought me being mean would cancel it out.. idk what to do I am at a dead stop right now, he is super popular but I love him so much and i know he liked me a lot last year idk what he is thinking and what to do!!! please help me!
I am so scared to talk to him. I don’t want to seem desperate! Do you think he likes me? What do you think he is thinking? How do I fix this? Thanks for the help, I appreciate it!

ceres

To be honest it sounds like he's not really being confusing, but he IS getting harassed an awful lot over this. If I were him, no matter what I felt to start I'd be long over it after all this. Leave the poor guy alone.

Cambiata

Call this one a loss. Know for the future, that if you like someone, the best thing you can do is approach him yourself to find out if he wants a date, not send a friend. Yes, it means that you have to be brave and face the fact that someone might reject you. But it also means that you might get a date from the next cute guy who blushes and flirts with you.

Edit: Also at this point, tell your friends to stop bugging the poor guy about it.

Enigmedic

To be honest, chances are that after high school you probably won't talk to anyone outside of your closest friends again. Basically high school doesn't matter at all. If you like someone, go up and talk to them. Embarrassment from doing it won't last very long, but if you don't take the chance you'll never know. After high school you basically get a blank slate socially as you either go to college and meet a completely different group of people, or get a job and work with a bunch of people that are probably older than you.

Also to agree with Cambiata, get your friends to mind their own business. If they enjoy being mean to other people chances are they aren't people you want to be friends with anyway.

Lastly, try to focus more on school than boys. Being smart is infinitely more important in life than making sure you have a boyfriend in high school. Grades can get you into college, boys can be detrimental to that.

Cambiata

I think the main thing is, if you want to know how someone feels, don't try to interpret signals as if you were a mystic. The only way to know how someone is feeling is to ask them. Flirting and staring and blushing are all good fun, but they don't really tell you what you want to know. "Would you like to go out on a date with me?" tells you what you want to know, clearly and unambiguously. You're not alone in thinking that paying a lot of attention to someone and then waiting for them to fall in love with you must be the way to go, but that's still the wrong way to think and leads to unhappy situations like the one you're in. If you ask a guy out on a date, you're not being "desperate", you're being confident, which is very attractive. Even if he says no, you can keep that attractiveness by accepting his no and moving on with your life. Believe me, I know perfectly well that it takes a lot of bravery to say those words, to ask if someone is interested in you or if they'd like to go out with you. But the more you practice it, the better you get at it, and the less scary it seems. Also the more you do it, the less you care when someone says no. You begin to learn the important lesson that strong emotional investment shouldn't start until after you've actually been in a relationship for a while, not before you've even been on one date.

Nightslyr

If you still like the guy, talk to him directly and explain why you and your friends have acted like you have so far. He'll either accept that or not, but at least you'll know where you stand. And, from a wider perspective, if there's someone you're interested in, be direct and honest with them. Don't wait hoping they'll notice you. This isn't Twilight. The cute guy isn't going to jump in front of an oncoming vehicle to save you. He'll be too busy dealing with the same kind of hormonal confusion you are. And this is 2015. The days of it being inappropriate for girls to ask guys out are long gone. You won't be seen as desperate if you approach a guy.