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The [Love] thread, for exist's sake.

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Posts

  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    Uh also she shared some of her own insecurities which I'm not going to share here, but suffice it to say I don't see these faults and I would like to encourage her without sounding like a mansplainer
    But feel unsure as to how
    Maybe that's something I should ask a more private circle of friends?

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    just draw her a picture she'll be hooked

    UrielSpeed RacertynicPlatyKwoaruThe BetgirlUsagiHacksawTheodore FlooseveltXaquinchrishallett83MadEddyVeldringodmodeSassoriNijaDarth WaiterYukiraPsykomaSlacker71NullzoneGoldenSeducer
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    It's true Tam. You draw real good.

    XaquinYukiraGoldenSeducer
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    I actually asked her for a two word prompt a few days before the date when I hit a block and later shared the picture with her during coffee. She thought it was smart and I hope that hasn't led her to believe I'm a smart person.

    Tam on
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    Tam wrote: »
    Uh also she shared some of her own insecurities which I'm not going to share here, but suffice it to say I don't see these faults and I would like to encourage her without sounding like a mansplainer
    But feel unsure as to how
    Maybe that's something I should ask a more private circle of friends?

    As a fellow man I might not be the best person to figure out how not to mansplain

    But maybe just find a way to say that you like her for who she is? Don't downplay or dismiss her feelings but let her know that you think she's great? Don't tell her she's wrong, just tell her how you feel!

    LiiyatynicCreaganMadEddySassoriSlacker71
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    That's a good idea.
    I did tell her I would try to get her to admit she's awesome the next time I see her?
    Edit; either way, doing this here feels weird now so I'm going to stop, but thanks for the advice nonetheless

    Tam on
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    I just said "I hope this doesn't seem too forward or anything but you're really beautiful!"

    And she responded positively to it so yayyyyy

    Whooooooops brain spiders crept in and now I can't shake the idea that she's just responding to me out of politeness

    Which is monumentally silly because there's no impetus whatsoever to be polite on a dating site, if you don't like someone you just don't respond

    And yet here we are!

    Tam
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    That has happened with me also

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    @Tam draw her as a Naruto character

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

    Speed RacerEvilCakeVeldrinYukiraSlacker71hailtothekale
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2015
    Tam wrote: »
    That's a good idea.
    I did tell her I would try to get her to admit she's awesome the next time I see her?
    Edit; either way, doing this here feels weird now so I'm going to stop, but thanks for the advice nonetheless

    Everyone's different, but I reeeaally don't like it when an SO tries to get me to admit how awesome I am or how my insecurities don't exist or are silly (even in a playful way)

    Rather than trying to get her to admit it, which can feel like pressure even if you're being light about it, maybe just tell her how you think she's awesome regardless

    Houk the Namebringer on
    tyniclonelyahavaInfidelSpeed RacerKwoarubuilderr0rAngelinaMadEddyVeldrinThe BetgirlSassoriDarth Waiter
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    I just want more Naruto drawings

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

    Tam
  • TamTam Le Buggeur Risible Registered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    Tam wrote: »
    That's a good idea.
    I did tell her I would try to get her to admit she's awesome the next time I see her?
    Edit; either way, doing this here feels weird now so I'm going to stop, but thanks for the advice nonetheless

    Everyone's different, but I reeeaally don't like it when an SO tries to get me to admit how awesome I am or how my insecurities don't exist or are silly (even in a playful way)

    Rather than trying to get her to admit it, which can feel like pressure even if you're being light about it, maybe just tell her how you think she's awesome regardless

    Oof yeah
    Noted

  • builderr0rbuilderr0r Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    .
    Tox wrote: »
    I can't imagine meeting someone from online. I'd try to drag that out forever.

    Yeah, I always try to drag it out! I couldn't see myself meeting up with someone I didn't know pretty well already. I guess I'm a chicken. :P

    builderr0r on
    steam_sig.png
    Geth
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Tam wrote: »
    Houk wrote: »
    Tam wrote: »
    That's a good idea.
    I did tell her I would try to get her to admit she's awesome the next time I see her?
    Edit; either way, doing this here feels weird now so I'm going to stop, but thanks for the advice nonetheless

    Everyone's different, but I reeeaally don't like it when an SO tries to get me to admit how awesome I am or how my insecurities don't exist or are silly (even in a playful way)

    Rather than trying to get her to admit it, which can feel like pressure even if you're being light about it, maybe just tell her how you think she's awesome regardless

    Oof yeah
    Noted

    Now what you can do, is note those insecurities and do what you can to be sensitive to them, or avoid calling attention to them when they crop up. As you get to know someone better, you can help them try to overcome them or be playful with them or whatever, but when you're first starting out your main focus should just be showing that you like them for what they are, warts and all - just like you would want from them. (This is phrased like sagely advice, but it's more just my own understanding and approach. Others are waaay better equipped to give useful advice than me.)

    TamNullzone
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Like, just one little anecdote...

    A few years ago I was getting ready to move to Japan, which meant selling or throwing out a bunch of my stuff. And eventually it wound up that the night before I had to leave, I still had more stuff in my apartment than I expected. Totally preventable, and it wasn't anything unmanageable for a reasonable, non-stressed person. I had my SO over to try and help me keep cool, but I ended up having what was probably a panic attack. I'd never, EVER lost my cool like that, and from her viewpoint it definitely wasn't anything to get upset over. But for me it was a big deal and I was really upset.

    And she was throwing out stuff like "don't worry about it, it's not a big deal, it's not as bad as you think, I know you'll handle it and get it figured out."

    Which, to a person in a normal state of mind, makes sense.

    But to me, it only made things worse. Because I was worrying about it, and it was a big deal, and I had no idea how to handle it, and how could she not understand that?

    And the reason I think that was a bad approach, is she was telling me how I should be feeling, and that what I was feeling was foolish and wrong, and why couldn't I just feel a different way?

    So now if and when I run into that kind of situation with other people, I just try to let them know that I'm there for them and want to help them, and I still think they're great and what can I do to help?

    It's not perfect, but it's been helpful so far.

    LabelKharnorTam
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    She just called me and asked to hang out again soon.

    We are shooting toward hanging out sometime later this week since I think I have a minor stomach bug or something.

    We gotta try to come up with exactly what to do, but we are thinking a park if it's nice out or hanging out at our friends place.

    Liiyabuilderr0rMadEddyUsagiHellaJeffchromdomSpeed RacerTamPlatyThe Betgirllonelyahavachrishallett83XaquinNijaDarth WaiterYukiraSlacker71AngelinaNullzoneGoldenSeducerMetalbourneErin The Redbalerbower
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    My girlfriend and I like to pay ingress as we walk around downtown. It will lead you to some cool stuff and is a fun game to play. Then again, just walking and talking is also pretty great.

    Bendery It Like Beckham on
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    ugggggggggggg

    it's better than not hearing anything at all but man i really manage to make myself hate messaging someone on OKC

    like they write back to me and it's a confidence boost

    and then about an hour after i respond to them i just slowly convince myself that they're not going to say anything else because they're just trying to be moderately courteous but they're only going to humor me so much before they stop responding until i'm at the point I'm at now we're i'm just a nervous wreck

    and then they'll answer me finally and I'll feel good again and the cycle starts up all over

    I think I need to get crackin' on askin' this girl out just so I can stop this awful fuckin yo-yo of confidence and anxiety

    builderr0rTam
  • MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    Things are going well with the last guy I mentioned. And this thread title keeps getting the "Glove Slap" parody from the Simpsons stuck in my head.

    ruby-red-sig.jpg
    KwoaruchromdomASimPersonSpeed RacerThe Betgirlbuilderr0rchrishallett83ToxLiiyabowtiedsealXaquinSassoriDarth WaiterAngelinaNullzoneErin The Red
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    My girlfriend and I like to pay ingress as we walk around downtown. It will lead you to some cool stuff and is a fun game to play. Then again, just walking and talking is also pretty great.

    I'm trying to understand what this means but it is eluding me.

    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
    Kwoaru
  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    My girlfriend and I like to pay ingress as we walk around downtown. It will lead you to some cool stuff and is a fun game to play. Then again, just walking and talking is also pretty great.

    I'm trying to understand what this means but it is eluding me.

    It's an Android app, players set up nodes at landmarks using google maps and you travel to them to gain experience and control of an area. That's a really simple explanation, but in the capitol hill area of Seattle there are normally a few active players at any given time so you can coordinate mass take downs and stuff.

    JebusUD
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    My girlfriend and I like to pay ingress as we walk around downtown. It will lead you to some cool stuff and is a fun game to play. Then again, just walking and talking is also pretty great.

    I'm trying to understand what this means but it is eluding me.

    It's an Android app, players set up nodes at landmarks using google maps and you travel to them to gain experience and control of an area. That's a really simple explanation, but in the capitol hill area of Seattle there are normally a few active players at any given time so you can coordinate mass take downs and stuff.

    That makes more sense. I thought maybe it was some autocorrect issue. Turns out I'm just an unhip old.

    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    MadEddy wrote: »
    Things are going well with the last guy I mentioned. And this thread title keeps getting the "Glove Slap" parody from the Simpsons stuck in my head.

    GLOVE SLAP
    SHUT YOUR BIIIG YAP

    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    A new born baby's skin is still porous, you can just leave them sitting in a bucket of blood and they'll soak up what they need.
    chrishallett83Grey GhostKwoaruMadEddyUsagiXaquin
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    hm now i have women who are willing to potentially go on dates with me but

    it is impossible to find time / schedule dates!

    poo
    Geth
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I'm happy that so many people have had positive experiences since April when the other thread rolled around!

    builderr0rOmnipotentBagelJebusUDNeoToma
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    She just called me and asked to hang out again soon.

    We are shooting toward hanging out sometime later this week since I think I have a minor stomach bug or something.

    We gotta try to come up with exactly what to do, but we are thinking a park if it's nice out or hanging out at our friends place.

    That's not a minor stomach bug. That's like.

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    I don't understand Moon.

    Are you saying that liking someone makes you have the poops all weekend?

    Xaquinlonelyahava
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Its anxiety mate - it does happen! I once felt ill for a whole weekend and wanted to vomit all the time before a date because I was so nervous.

    Usagibuilderr0rASimPersonXaquinMadEddyThe BetgirlPeter EbelErin The Red
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    My love for questionable takeaway establishments often gives me the poops all weekend.

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Dating is similar to climbing, where before I start something I am scared of, I like to do a quick nervous wee.

    chrishallett83Speed RacertynicVeldrinDis'
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    I am torn....
    I am at the point in the conversation where one asks if they would like to meet and talk
    Alas I don't know if I want to say it

  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    Dating is similar to climbing, where before I start something I am scared of, I like to do a quick nervous wee.

    Weight reduction to increase performance!

    Sorce
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    I am torn....
    I am at the point in the conversation where one asks if they would like to meet and talk
    Alas I don't know if I want to say it

    I would tell them that I'm torn.

    I'm all out of faith.

    This is how I feel.

    I'm cold and I am shamed

    Lying naked on the floor.

    PlatyHermanoNarbuschrishallett83MadEddyNijaXaquinFlarneStraightziSlacker71I ZimbraSorceGoldenSeducergrrmushaErin The Red
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Really all I can come up with I would like to show them X wing the board game and yet I have no idea how to do this

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    I am torn....
    I am at the point in the conversation where one asks if they would like to meet and talk
    Alas I don't know if I want to say it

    I would tell them that I'm torn.

    I'm all out of faith.

    This is how I feel.

    I'm cold and I am shamed

    Lying naked on the floor.

    Well, yeah, how else do you chat online?

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Ask them who they prefer:

    Natalie Imbruglia or Sheryl Crow.

    If they say Sheryl Crow, you ditch that fuckin' weirdo.

    Narbuschrishallett83BeastehErin The Red
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Maybe first invite them to a cafe or something

  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Maybe first invite them to a cafe or something

    It's Starbucks pretty much
    The virus of coffee shops

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    Starbucks would be, like, my last choice if there were other shops available, but as a "safe, neutral place to meet someone in person for the first time" it should suffice.

    OmnipotentBagel on
    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    Metalbourne
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    edited June 2015
    That is the other problem what is a safe neutral place to meet for the first time even if it is a quick chat
    Here
    I mean I don't know of a "safe" place I would talk to someone I did not know

    Brainleech on
This discussion has been closed.