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My first ever Webcomic! : D

KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
Lately I have binged on all this penny arcade, and during E3 decided that I will start making a webcomic! so here is my first one.

comic-12.jpg

cheers! ; D

Posts

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    what_do_you_want_from_the_artists_forum_boilerplate.txt

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    You wanna be a little more helpful there, enc.

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    Sorry Iruka. :)

    Kennstan, what exactly do you want from the Artist's Forum? This is a magical place that can have a wide range of uses for artists. If you are looking to just distribute your comics to share, that might be something for the doodle thread (but not necessarily your own thread). If you want criticism, typically we will need to know your goals, long term development ideas, and many, many more examples!

    Generally it isn't a place to get backslaps, but one for constructive criticism. Let us know your goals, take the responses you get seriously and authentically, and there's a lot you can get from here to grow and develop!

  • Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The PIT, level 26Registered User regular
    I liked it Kennstan. That title was clever.

    pod_banner.jpg
  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    If I might be blunt? It seems extremely generic.

    Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits!
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    Thanks Enc, that second post is on point.

    Art wise, you could be worse off. I'd be interested in seeing any other art you have, as its just not enough to go on.

    Comic wise, you'll probably have to try a little harder than two dudes on a gradient background talking about video games in three panels. It has been done to death, and you probably have something more interesting to say if you think about it.

    Theres a comic masterpost here: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/196619/comic-resources-masterpost#latest

    cB557EnctynicNibCrom
  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    Hey, sorry for the late response! Im an illustrator, digital painter looking to try out Webcomic-ing on my Nerd Site. Um I guess im looking for just any form of critique and Id love to hear your thoughts!

    ENC, sorry and thanks hahaha you are totally right!

    Iruka, yeah I agree that I need to up my game but I felt like it was good to take that first step as opposed to thinking about how to be different right? IDK id love to hear what you have to say about expanding horizons. Im looking through your master post right now and it is a great resource.

    cB557, yeah its not the most interesting thing in the world. Can you tell me how you would improve it?

    Golden yak, Thanks so much ; D

  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    Also here are my Illustrations Iruka!
    http://kennstan.tumblr.com/

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    #1 If you have to explain the punchline, its not funny.

    #2 Never punch down.

    #3 Don't burn yourself out or beat yourself up trying to nail a joke or do a narrative. Writing is hard and there are plenty of talented writers and artist who've hammered out great work after dumping draft after draft.

    #4 Have fun

    #5 Saw your tumblr, wish I were as good as you.

  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    Why'd you go for this style of drawing for your strip? Looking at your tumblr you seem pretty comfortable with painting, and I wonder if you have more of a style when painting than when drawing? Look at your sketchbook doodles, perhaps your style is in there somewhere, but I think I can say with some manner of confidence, that what you've drawn in this strip is not so much your style. It is way too reminiscent of, well, PA. What about painting it? Doesn't have to be super detailed rendering to convey the story, something quickly painted can work just as well as a fully rendered piece.
    In terms of format, it also pretty much follows the PA formula, try shaking it up with, say maybe work in a 9 panel grid, or a 4 panel format etc. just try getting away from everything that screams Penny Arcade or generic webcomic.
    In terms of writing, do you really want to make another "2 gamer dudes duke it out" strip? Shake that up as well, does it have to have consistent characters? What if it was another universe than ours? etc. etc.

    tapeslingerEnc
  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    Great Advice Royce and M3nace,

    M3nace, I agree that its 3 panels and two guys is cliche. Thanks for trying to get me to inject my own style into it but as any artist is aware when you have a professional style, most likely you can get very sick of it after working in that way for 9 hours a day : D

    Plus being an artist is learning and studying others, I guess this was an attempt if I could pull this style off and I think I did a fair job :p still thanks a lot for your input!

  • MightyhogMightyhog Registered User regular
    I can only echo what people have said about your digital painting, but might I ask, did you do the pixel art avatar(s) you and the other authors on your site use? If that's a style you've enjoyed experimenting with, I wonder how you might apply it to a comic strip. It's not the best "critique" (why not do it completely different to please me?) but it seems like a fun way to differentiate yourself with a simpler style than your professional work, and lord knows you can fall into a rabbit hole of studying with pixel art, if that's what excites you.

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    Kennstan wrote: »
    Lately I have binged on all this penny arcade, and during E3 decided that I will start making a webcomic! so here is my first one.

    comic-12.jpg

    cheers! ; D

    Do you have 2-4 other comic samples you can show us so we can give some decent feedback? A one-off comic doesn't really give us much room to go beyond what has been stated with the backgrounds and general staleness of the idea (the two guys talk about games concept is pretty well done, though adding your own ownership to the idea can make it fresh again).

  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    Are you making the bubbles first, and then trying to fit the text within the bubbles? Don't squish the text. Ever. Unless you have a specific story/character reason to (like the text is meant to emote a certain tone of voice or something). Your bubbles are inconsistent in the amount of white space around the text, too.

    You also mispelled "consoles". The lone comma at the end of the bubble in the 2nd panel is pretty awkward - I would have just used a period, or no punctuation at all.

    Beyond what you've already heard in this thread, I'd suggest that you try to spend a bit more time with the text and the bubbles. If you're not sure how to handle a certain text/bubble scenario, check out polished, professional comics and see what they do there, and how they handle the flow of text.

  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    Wow such good advice, thanks!

    @Mightyhog That is a great idea!!

    @Enc Yeah I guess you are right one strip isnt enough :0 thanks :D

    @NightDragon Thanks, this is the kinda stuff i love to get critiqued on!

  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    I do not mean this to sound insulting.....but im having a hard time believing that those landscapes and this comic were done by the same person. It boggles my mind that those beautiful landscapes, and use of digital media didn't carry over....AT ALL...into the comic. Like why would you use gradients when you clearly know how NOT to use them. Something here is pretty fishy.
    Why wouldn't you use the digital skills displayed in the landscapes in the comic? It like entering a street race with a Kia when you have a Lamborghini sitting in the garage.
    I'm BEGGING you to incorporate your landscape style into your comics and give us something fresh!!! Comics don't have to be just 2 dudes talking about video games...its been done. A lot.

    Prospicience
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited July 2015
    As far as text and bubbles, you can always drop the text in and then freehand the balloons around it. Pretty sure thats how they're done in the PA strips.

    NakedZergling on
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    All of his contact information lines up with that art portfolio's tumbler, so it would be a pretty wonky con to do what you are claiming zergling. :/

    Iruka
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited July 2015
    Your comic would benefit from carrying over the skills from your landscape paintings

    This is a more constructive version of your post.

    MagicToaster on
    EnctynicIrukaProspicienceNightDragonFugitive
  • ProspicienceProspicience The Raven King DenvemoloradoRegistered User regular
    Yeah seriously, looking at your landscapes all I could think that is I want to see a comic that takes place in one of those worlds.

    Enc
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    Sorry for being a dick man. Not appropriate of me. i apologize, and would like to try to explain myself better.

    Your landscapes are BEAUTIFUL!
    Are you more comfortable painting landscapes rather than people?
    I think there must be some disconnect in how you approach your landscapes vs how you approach the comic, and im not sure there needs to be.
    You clearly have an understanding of composition, and lighting, and how to use the program to get a painted look, which is far more aesthetically pleasing than the gradient background used in the comic.

    If you could find a way incorporate your landscape approach into your comic approach i think you would have something really interesting going on. I don't want to discourage people from trying stuff, so again im sorry. I really want to see what you do next.

  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    @NakedZergling No apologizes need my man! I love doing new styles all the time! Yeah Id love to spend the same amount of time on a comic as on a landscape, but Sadly one is a job and the other is for fun haha I paint environments and landscapes all day so taking a break and using a simple gradient is just like a very relaxing break haha. Focus instead on line quality and flat colors : )

    @Prospicience yeah maybe someday haha I couldnt write something that involved ; D

  • nakirushnakirush Registered User regular
    On the subject of comic text, this came to mind: http://blambot.com/grammar.shtml

    Thought you may find it helpful. :)

    tapeslinger
  • KennstanKennstan LA Registered User regular
    Very cool @nakirush Thanks so much!

  • ProspicienceProspicience The Raven King DenvemoloradoRegistered User regular
    edited July 2015
    Kennstan wrote: »
    @Prospicience yeah maybe someday haha I couldnt write something that involved ; D

    Gotta start somewhere right?! Never know until you've tried. Do or do not, there is no try. Those who don't jump will never fly. Etc, etc ;)

    You could always just start with a landscape and create a story from there if you want to give it a go. There's so much detail in your landscapes I feel like your imagination could run wild with the possibilities.

    Prospicience on
    tapeslinger
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