Welp. Broke up with one of the people I was seeing. I'm going to break up with a second person tomorrow. Then it will just be me and bio student and some goddamn free time in the middle of the week.
Dating 4 nights out of 7 was a bit much!
I'm pretty excited for the weekend though! I really like bio student so much.
Also you'll get there thatassemblyguy! I'm no more charming than anyone and I got there eventually.
NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Me too!
Heck I was kinda dating two girls at the same time as well. I was just lucky enough that the one I liked less was on a business trip while I got to know the other one and ultimately cemented things with her.
Me too!
Heck I was kinda dating two girls at the same time as well. I was just lucky enough that the one I liked less was on a business trip while I got to know the other one and ultimately cemented things with her.
It's kind of tough! Like I feel embarrassed and bad about it, but then again... it's not like it's bad to like one person more than another and dating multiple people is fine, that's a thing that people do.
Whatever though, I really dig this one person and it would be disrespectful to everyone involved if I kept dating other people at this point.
So under the "Most private thing I'm willing to admit" section I"m thinking of writing that I use to be really overweight and over the years lost over a 100lbs.
Mainly because that informs a lot of my current choices .I love being outdoors and active now, making up for lost time I guess.
Yeah, i never got that option in my profile either. Also some of the profiles call "The Two of Us" (where they compare questions/answers) as "Y'all Got Issues."
Yeah, i never got that option in my profile either. Also some of the profiles call "The Two of Us" (where they compare questions/answers) as "Y'all Got Issues."
yeah, that's an automatic change if you have like >50% "Enemy" or whatever
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I think root cause on most of my flopping conversations has to do with my resistance to treating the initial conversation upto the first meeting as a text/IM session.
To be clear, its my hangup/problem, but its just so difficult to make the leap. Especially, when the previous message from the other person doesn't provide any conversation continuation prompts (doesn't have to be a question, just something interesting to talk about), it makes it very difficult for me to spring to a new topic.
After I've met someone and gotten a chance to get to know them, this line of messaging doesn't bother me at all, and can jump from topic to topic as normal. It's just this weird, 'I don't know you, so I'd rather be a bit more formal until I do' mentality that I have is probably causing me to miss out on some really great people.
thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I'm going to have to change the title soon, aren't I?
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TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
Went on 2 dates with a very nice girl. She's moving back home ~2 hours away, so that's the end of that. Cool.
I sent her a message afterwards that was basically 'Hey, nice connecting. If I might make a suggestion, if you're going to keep up with the whole online dating thing when you get to [city], have a friend snap a few pictures for your profile. You're way more attractive in person than your OKC profile pic would lead one to believe. Have a nice day!'
faux pas y/n
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Hmmm, maybe, maybe not. Depends on the vibe you got from her when y'all were on the dates.
Providing advice like that as a non-long-time friend is super tricky to pull off, but you're TLDR so I'm sure it's all good.
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imdointhisI should actually stop doin' this.Registered Userregular
Suggestion for most private thing I'm willing to admit:
I cried at the end of the futurama episode with the dog.
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Suggestion for most private thing I'm willing to admit:
I cried at the end of the futurama episode with the dog.
To be fair, this is sort of cheating because everyone cried at the end of that episode. (And if they didn't, whelp, you just found the fire-ant person)
I'm going to have to change the title soon, aren't I?
Hahaha
Well, I'm going to probably get a lot less descriptive. It's at the point where I'm kind of just hanging out with this lovely person I met. I don't think I'm going to be really dating-dating much anymore! We're going out for dinner and drinks tonight, then we're doing trivia next week, then there's this party for a friend of mine, and we want to play the Game of Thrones board game with a couple friends... so much stuff! It's going to be great.
I had a great time with OKC, better than like 95% of the people I've spoken to.
I'm going to have to change the title soon, aren't I?
Yes, to "We had sandwiches."
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Well I just went shopping today with my girlfriend at the state farmer's market, then we hit up a flea market and I bought her a coffee table (she's using a storage bin with a table cloth currently).
Today was a good day.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Being thrust back into singledom has made me realize how badly matched I am to the people around me. Apparently my hatred of sports, hiking, country music, organized religion, and travel puts me at odds with all potential dating partners.
Being thrust back into singledom has made me realize how badly matched I am to the people around me. Apparently my hatred of sports, hiking, country music, organized religion, and travel puts me at odds with all potential dating partners.
I definitely feel like my experience owes absolutely everything to my living in an area with a lot of the sort of people I like to hang out with.
Disabled my OKC account which was my last online account. The women I attract up here are emotional cripples that view me as some sort amusement instead of as a person. It gets old hearing people who supposedly like me tell me I'm weird as if I was some sort of three legged dog trying to go up stairs to their amusement. These gals having maaaaaaasive issues and wanting to use me as their crutch is pretty no fucking bueno too.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results so fuck this shit, I'm out. I've got better things to do than to put up with this. I'd rather spend my last few months in Alaska as a hermit than deal with the fuckheads up here.
Okay, so I'm newly out of a long relationship and, while I'm not ready to jump into the dating thing quite yet, I am thinking about what that will be like and it's kind of daunting. I had an okcupid account years ago, but I'm wanting to start fresh because I made it 8 years ago and haven't used it in over 5 so the information is old enough that it's easier to start from scratch. My only question for now is about picking a name. My old one was very "early 20's" which is fine because I was. I'm 29 now and somehow NiftyBananas doesn't capture what I think I want to portray.
I'm a classical musician, should I work that in somehow? My primary instrument is the flute which has a zillion double entendre possibilities but that's not the vibe I'm going for. What are people who want to date women looking for in a screen name? Will anything protect me from "hi ur hot can i kiss ur feet lol" messages? Am overthinking this?
It's cool to see another flutist! I think making your username something music-related sounds like a good idea. I've had usernames like mezzoforte and stringendo in the past.
Will anything protect me from "hi ur hot can i kiss ur feet lol" messages? Am overthinking this?
I'm pretty sure the answer to this is "no." Because you're female, you're bound to get odd/pervy messages from time to time. Also, I don't think most people really care about usernames - as long as it's not something offensive or extremely odd. I usually make my usernames something related to one of my interests/hobbies. I think that's especially helpful on dating sites because it can serve as a conversation starter.
I'm of the opinion that a good username will attract the person you think you're looking for. E.g you're a Dr. Who weirdo, you make it something creative/wordplay-y like DaleksTrebek.
And I agree with the builderer up there, you're still going to get creepy stuff. I suggest starting a blog for it.
I am still relatively in the scheme of things new at dating
And I've been seeing this girl between 0-2 times a week for a month and a half and it's the longest I've been seeing anyone
And she is cool and good and I enjoy spending time with her but I am kind of not that excited as I was a few weeks ago and so I don't know what to feel
Maybe if she lived closer I dunno
We'll see
I suppose as long as I keep it casual like and she is cool with that there is no harm continuing even in my ambivalence until I decide one way another
I should go meet other people but that takes work too
poo
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I'm a classical musician, should I work that in somehow?
Yeah, I'd say it's worth mentioning. If anything, you could say, that you're a professional musician, or artist, to keep things general and avoid an additional deluge of one-liner comments about flutes.
What are people who want to date women looking for in a screen name?
From my perspective, anything that isn't like, "xX0sO_s3xy0Xx" or "hot4u2nite", should be fine. I think other than your own comfort reasons, you don't have to distance yourself from "NiftyBananas". Personally, I'd probably give a bit of a laugh, and then proceed to read the self-description in the profile (because the content of the profile speaks more than the accounts handle).
Okay, so I'm newly out of a long relationship and, while I'm not ready to jump into the dating thing quite yet, I am thinking about what that will be like and it's kind of daunting. I had an okcupid account years ago, but I'm wanting to start fresh because I made it 8 years ago and haven't used it in over 5 so the information is old enough that it's easier to start from scratch. My only question for now is about picking a name. My old one was very "early 20's" which is fine because I was. I'm 29 now and somehow NiftyBananas doesn't capture what I think I want to portray.
Sorry to hear that it didn't workout with you and the other person(s). It sounds like you have a healthy perspective on your grieving process, and that you're taking the time to re-discover the "I" that was a part of the "Us".
A humble, and respectful, perspective/opinion from thatassemblyguy (yes, third person, wooo!), I think that agonizing over a username is a good hint that you're still not quite ready for serious[1] dating (or, you're a chronic over-thinker like some of us here, which in that case, Hey! Welcome to the thread!) because you're putting too much analysis into one microscopic part that really doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It sounds like you're trying to avoid 'messing up', or you feel like your old handle was the person you were when you met your current ex and you're associating the negative parts of your relationship with it and want to distance yourself from those feels.
I'm not a psychologist, or anything really, but my guess is that "NiftyBananas" is still there, and they. are. awesome., but now they're "NiftyBananas2.0" because they have more life experience. I'm sure once you're ready to jump back into serious dating your old handle will seem pretty rad again to you.[2]
[1]
But don't be a hermit either, just keep things light.
[2]
or maybe not, I don't know, I'm not an expert.
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Disabled my OKC account which was my last online account. The women I attract up here are emotional cripples that view me as some sort amusement instead of as a person. It gets old hearing people who supposedly like me tell me I'm weird as if I was some sort of three legged dog trying to go up stairs to their amusement. These gals having maaaaaaasive issues and wanting to use me as their crutch is pretty no fucking bueno too.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results so fuck this shit, I'm out. I've got better things to do than to put up with this. I'd rather spend my last few months in Alaska as a hermit than deal with the fuckheads up here.
@TOGSolid - this came up on my playlist, and made me think of this thread, and your post -
I totally worried over my name a bunch. It doesn't do much though, really! I chose mine based on smashing together a Latin word related to something I was interested in and then something else in English that was positive.
The people I contacted all had just like... not Hot4U$ as their names. Otherwise I didn't really pay attention.
Also, I kind of thought dating would be daunting, but it turned out to be just a lot of fun. I was really concerned about my lack of experience, but finding people you really enjoy makes it pretty easy to just hang out doing interesting things.
I will say that while I'm very charming and a lot of people seem to find me attractive, I'm built much more like a Pillsbury dough boy than Ryan Gosling.
I guess I feel like my success was entirely due to location, but then I know other people who had less success even though I think they've got more going on than I do. I suppose I think that my being honest about interest helped? I think probably I just got very lucky.
I guess maybe also my recent super-long relationship actually helped? I felt so little pressure about things. I mean I just got out of a 10+ year relationship, nothing that lasts like a month is going to be a big deal! It let me be myself immediately instead of being all nervy.
I don't know I wish I could give out better advice. I know a few friends around here who are having a lot of trouble finding people.
Sorry to hear that it didn't workout with you and the other person(s). It sounds like you have a healthy perspective on your grieving process, and that you're taking the time to re-discover the "I" that was a part of the "Us".
A humble, and respectful, perspective/opinion from thatassemblyguy (yes, third person, wooo!), I think that agonizing over a username is a good hint that you're still not quite ready for serious[1] dating (or, you're a chronic over-thinker like some of us here, which in that case, Hey! Welcome to the thread!) because you're putting too much analysis into one microscopic part that really doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It sounds like you're trying to avoid 'messing up', or you feel like your old handle was the person you were when you met your current ex and you're associating the negative parts of your relationship with it and want to distance yourself from those feels.
I'm not a psychologist, or anything really, but my guess is that "NiftyBananas" is still there, and they. are. awesome., but now they're "NiftyBananas2.0" because they have more life experience. I'm sure once you're ready to jump back into serious dating your old handle will seem pretty rad again to you.
Thanks for the welcome and advice. You're probably especially right here - I'm not ready to jump back into dating quite yet (it's only been 2 weeks after a nearly 5 year relationship) and I'm not about to start remaking my profile immediately, it's just a thought that comes up when I'm thinking about all the things that will go into building what's next in my life. I'll probably be largely lurking in this thread for the next little while but maybe I'll post a profile for critique when I'm ready to put one together.
So, it's been a month, guess it's time for an update. The two girls that said they wanted to meet up, one deleted her profile and the other just stopped messaging me altogether. Very discouraging and even more disappointing, but I carry on.
There was one, we were into the same stuff and we talked about Dark Souls and disc golf and other nerdy things for awhile, even friended each other on Steam. Then she deleted her OKC profile and neither of us are ever on Steam at the same time. Still hopeful for that one, but I'm not holding my breath. It doesn't help that I'm in the home stretch for finishing up my house and have been spending a lot of time doing that.
Have been messaging a girl that's about to become a lawyer, and that could have some promise. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
I'm not giving up! Send out a few messages every couple of days and I'll find someone. Just wish this stupid streak that I have going would just break already.
PSN: JesterKing13 Blizz Battletag: tehjester#1448
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IlpalaJust this guy, y'knowTexasRegistered Userregular
Oil? The fuck?
FF XIV - Qih'to Furishu (on Siren), Battle.Net - Ilpala#1975
Switch - SW-7373-3669-3011
Fuck Joe Manchin
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TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
Posts
I just think the area I'm in is the blurst for dating in general.
I shall keep messaging on, however, [Internet Dating] thread, I shall become a success story!
Dating 4 nights out of 7 was a bit much!
I'm pretty excited for the weekend though! I really like bio student so much.
Also you'll get there thatassemblyguy! I'm no more charming than anyone and I got there eventually.
Heck I was kinda dating two girls at the same time as well. I was just lucky enough that the one I liked less was on a business trip while I got to know the other one and ultimately cemented things with her.
It's kind of tough! Like I feel embarrassed and bad about it, but then again... it's not like it's bad to like one person more than another and dating multiple people is fine, that's a thing that people do.
Whatever though, I really dig this one person and it would be disrespectful to everyone involved if I kept dating other people at this point.
Mainly because that informs a lot of my current choices .I love being outdoors and active now, making up for lost time I guess.
Would that be a bad idea?
I think that's probably a reasonable answer? Anything honest that might seem out of left field given the rest of your profile works, really.
Also I'm excited because tonight the bio student is coming over and it's going to be so nice. I'm so frigging lucky.
It's a bad question. And you don't have to answer it (I'm fairly sure it doesn't even show up if you don't).
That said, that's not a bad answer.
yeah, that's an automatic change if you have like >50% "Enemy" or whatever
To be clear, its my hangup/problem, but its just so difficult to make the leap. Especially, when the previous message from the other person doesn't provide any conversation continuation prompts (doesn't have to be a question, just something interesting to talk about), it makes it very difficult for me to spring to a new topic.
After I've met someone and gotten a chance to get to know them, this line of messaging doesn't bother me at all, and can jump from topic to topic as normal. It's just this weird, 'I don't know you, so I'd rather be a bit more formal until I do' mentality that I have is probably causing me to miss out on some really great people.
So that was nice. They were real cool, we had sandwiches and chatted for like an hour afterward. I really like them! I see why we dated.
I sent her a message afterwards that was basically 'Hey, nice connecting. If I might make a suggestion, if you're going to keep up with the whole online dating thing when you get to [city], have a friend snap a few pictures for your profile. You're way more attractive in person than your OKC profile pic would lead one to believe. Have a nice day!'
faux pas y/n
Providing advice like that as a non-long-time friend is super tricky to pull off, but you're TLDR so I'm sure it's all good.
I cried at the end of the futurama episode with the dog.
To be fair, this is sort of cheating because everyone cried at the end of that episode. (And if they didn't, whelp, you just found the fire-ant person)
Hahaha
Well, I'm going to probably get a lot less descriptive. It's at the point where I'm kind of just hanging out with this lovely person I met. I don't think I'm going to be really dating-dating much anymore! We're going out for dinner and drinks tonight, then we're doing trivia next week, then there's this party for a friend of mine, and we want to play the Game of Thrones board game with a couple friends... so much stuff! It's going to be great.
I had a great time with OKC, better than like 95% of the people I've spoken to.
Yes, to "We had sandwiches."
Today was a good day.
I definitely feel like my experience owes absolutely everything to my living in an area with a lot of the sort of people I like to hang out with.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results so fuck this shit, I'm out. I've got better things to do than to put up with this. I'd rather spend my last few months in Alaska as a hermit than deal with the fuckheads up here.
I'm a classical musician, should I work that in somehow? My primary instrument is the flute which has a zillion double entendre possibilities but that's not the vibe I'm going for. What are people who want to date women looking for in a screen name? Will anything protect me from "hi ur hot can i kiss ur feet lol" messages? Am overthinking this?
I'm pretty sure the answer to this is "no." Because you're female, you're bound to get odd/pervy messages from time to time. Also, I don't think most people really care about usernames - as long as it's not something offensive or extremely odd. I usually make my usernames something related to one of my interests/hobbies. I think that's especially helpful on dating sites because it can serve as a conversation starter.
And I agree with the builderer up there, you're still going to get creepy stuff. I suggest starting a blog for it.
And I've been seeing this girl between 0-2 times a week for a month and a half and it's the longest I've been seeing anyone
And she is cool and good and I enjoy spending time with her but I am kind of not that excited as I was a few weeks ago and so I don't know what to feel
Maybe if she lived closer I dunno
We'll see
I suppose as long as I keep it casual like and she is cool with that there is no harm continuing even in my ambivalence until I decide one way another
I should go meet other people but that takes work too
First, welcome to the thread,
Yeah, I'd say it's worth mentioning. If anything, you could say, that you're a professional musician, or artist, to keep things general and avoid an additional deluge of one-liner comments about flutes.
From my perspective, anything that isn't like, "xX0sO_s3xy0Xx" or "hot4u2nite", should be fine. I think other than your own comfort reasons, you don't have to distance yourself from "NiftyBananas". Personally, I'd probably give a bit of a laugh, and then proceed to read the self-description in the profile (because the content of the profile speaks more than the accounts handle).
Sadly, No.
Yes. But... that's totally to be expected because....
Sorry to hear that it didn't workout with you and the other person(s). It sounds like you have a healthy perspective on your grieving process, and that you're taking the time to re-discover the "I" that was a part of the "Us".
A humble, and respectful, perspective/opinion from thatassemblyguy (yes, third person, wooo!), I think that agonizing over a username is a good hint that you're still not quite ready for serious[1] dating (or, you're a chronic over-thinker like some of us here, which in that case, Hey! Welcome to the thread!) because you're putting too much analysis into one microscopic part that really doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It sounds like you're trying to avoid 'messing up', or you feel like your old handle was the person you were when you met your current ex and you're associating the negative parts of your relationship with it and want to distance yourself from those feels.
I'm not a psychologist, or anything really, but my guess is that "NiftyBananas" is still there, and they. are. awesome., but now they're "NiftyBananas2.0" because they have more life experience. I'm sure once you're ready to jump back into serious dating your old handle will seem pretty rad again to you.[2]
[1]
[2]
@TOGSolid - this came up on my playlist, and made me think of this thread, and your post -
The people I contacted all had just like... not Hot4U$ as their names. Otherwise I didn't really pay attention.
Also, I kind of thought dating would be daunting, but it turned out to be just a lot of fun. I was really concerned about my lack of experience, but finding people you really enjoy makes it pretty easy to just hang out doing interesting things.
I guess I feel like my success was entirely due to location, but then I know other people who had less success even though I think they've got more going on than I do. I suppose I think that my being honest about interest helped? I think probably I just got very lucky.
I guess maybe also my recent super-long relationship actually helped? I felt so little pressure about things. I mean I just got out of a 10+ year relationship, nothing that lasts like a month is going to be a big deal! It let me be myself immediately instead of being all nervy.
I don't know I wish I could give out better advice. I know a few friends around here who are having a lot of trouble finding people.
Thanks for the welcome and advice. You're probably especially right here - I'm not ready to jump back into dating quite yet (it's only been 2 weeks after a nearly 5 year relationship) and I'm not about to start remaking my profile immediately, it's just a thought that comes up when I'm thinking about all the things that will go into building what's next in my life. I'll probably be largely lurking in this thread for the next little while but maybe I'll post a profile for critique when I'm ready to put one together.
There was one, we were into the same stuff and we talked about Dark Souls and disc golf and other nerdy things for awhile, even friended each other on Steam. Then she deleted her OKC profile and neither of us are ever on Steam at the same time. Still hopeful for that one, but I'm not holding my breath. It doesn't help that I'm in the home stretch for finishing up my house and have been spending a lot of time doing that.
Have been messaging a girl that's about to become a lawyer, and that could have some promise. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.
I'm not giving up! Send out a few messages every couple of days and I'll find someone. Just wish this stupid streak that I have going would just break already.
Switch - SW-7373-3669-3011
Fuck Joe Manchin
Lots of people working in or near oil fields, I'd hazard.
If you note, those states are ND, OK, and TX - all dominated by the oil industry.