[Internet Dating] - Swipe Left on COVID-19, and then wash your hands!

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  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    LostNinja wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    So I decided to give Hinge a try. So far it feels like a better space. You definitely get the feeling it’s for people looking for an actual relationship.

    The massive downside is the process when you want to like someone of finding the right picture or prompt to “like” and formulating the perfect comment to send them is super draining, and creates an emotional investment that can’t be healthy in this situation.

    I'd forgotten how draining it was to think of messages back when I was trying to use OKCupid before the swipe apps became predominant. Doing it dozens of times in a few days to no positive response when I delved into Hinge initially was extremely demoralizing.

    I’ve been getting a decent amount of matches as I’ve been using it for a few days now (more than Bumble and Tinder in the same period of time when I’d be using one or the other primarily, with a significantly higher response rate). I think there is a weird initial period where the app doesn’t really know who to show your profile to, or who to show you. I still don’t get a lot of likes unless I like someone first, but I suspect that has more to do with how women use the app. Presumably spending more time filtering through the likes and comments they receive.

    I think I may be liking it the best now, but that emotional investment it creates in non-matches is still rough.

    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    So I decided to give Hinge a try. So far it feels like a better space. You definitely get the feeling it’s for people looking for an actual relationship.

    The massive downside is the process when you want to like someone of finding the right picture or prompt to “like” and formulating the perfect comment to send them is super draining, and creates an emotional investment that can’t be healthy in this situation.

    I'd forgotten how draining it was to think of messages back when I was trying to use OKCupid before the swipe apps became predominant. Doing it dozens of times in a few days to no positive response when I delved into Hinge initially was extremely demoralizing.

    I’ve been getting a decent amount of matches as I’ve been using it for a few days now (more than Bumble and Tinder in the same period of time when I’d be using one or the other primarily, with a significantly higher response rate). I think there is a weird initial period where the app doesn’t really know who to show your profile to, or who to show you. I still don’t get a lot of likes unless I like someone first, but I suspect that has more to do with how women use the app. Presumably spending more time filtering through the likes and comments they receive.

    I think I may be liking it the best now, but that emotional investment it creates in non-matches is still rough.

    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

    How do you reset them?

  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    LostNinja wrote: »
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    So I decided to give Hinge a try. So far it feels like a better space. You definitely get the feeling it’s for people looking for an actual relationship.

    The massive downside is the process when you want to like someone of finding the right picture or prompt to “like” and formulating the perfect comment to send them is super draining, and creates an emotional investment that can’t be healthy in this situation.

    I'd forgotten how draining it was to think of messages back when I was trying to use OKCupid before the swipe apps became predominant. Doing it dozens of times in a few days to no positive response when I delved into Hinge initially was extremely demoralizing.

    I’ve been getting a decent amount of matches as I’ve been using it for a few days now (more than Bumble and Tinder in the same period of time when I’d be using one or the other primarily, with a significantly higher response rate). I think there is a weird initial period where the app doesn’t really know who to show your profile to, or who to show you. I still don’t get a lot of likes unless I like someone first, but I suspect that has more to do with how women use the app. Presumably spending more time filtering through the likes and comments they receive.

    I think I may be liking it the best now, but that emotional investment it creates in non-matches is still rough.

    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

    How do you reset them?

    For Tinder, close your account, uninstall it from your phone, remove Tinder from your Facebook settings, make a fresh Facebook account, redownload Tinder, and then sign up using the fresh Facebook account. Or, you could alternate between using your Facebook account and your phone number, provided you wait about 3 months between each reset (its not guaranteed to actually reset, though, that way).

  • zekebeauzekebeau Registered User regular
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    So I decided to give Hinge a try. So far it feels like a better space. You definitely get the feeling it’s for people looking for an actual relationship.

    The massive downside is the process when you want to like someone of finding the right picture or prompt to “like” and formulating the perfect comment to send them is super draining, and creates an emotional investment that can’t be healthy in this situation.

    I'd forgotten how draining it was to think of messages back when I was trying to use OKCupid before the swipe apps became predominant. Doing it dozens of times in a few days to no positive response when I delved into Hinge initially was extremely demoralizing.

    I’ve been getting a decent amount of matches as I’ve been using it for a few days now (more than Bumble and Tinder in the same period of time when I’d be using one or the other primarily, with a significantly higher response rate). I think there is a weird initial period where the app doesn’t really know who to show your profile to, or who to show you. I still don’t get a lot of likes unless I like someone first, but I suspect that has more to do with how women use the app. Presumably spending more time filtering through the likes and comments they receive.

    I think I may be liking it the best now, but that emotional investment it creates in non-matches is still rough.

    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

    How do you reset them?

    For Tinder, close your account, uninstall it from your phone, remove Tinder from your Facebook settings, make a fresh Facebook account, redownload Tinder, and then sign up using the fresh Facebook account. Or, you could alternate between using your Facebook account and your phone number, provided you wait about 3 months between each reset (its not guaranteed to actually reset, though, that way).

    Oh, that's all?

    LostNinjaAistankimeZonugalKoopahTroopahBobbleDoodmannForarDark Raven Xdiscriderspool32Apogee
  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    zekebeau wrote: »
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    Blarghy wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    LostNinja wrote: »
    So I decided to give Hinge a try. So far it feels like a better space. You definitely get the feeling it’s for people looking for an actual relationship.

    The massive downside is the process when you want to like someone of finding the right picture or prompt to “like” and formulating the perfect comment to send them is super draining, and creates an emotional investment that can’t be healthy in this situation.

    I'd forgotten how draining it was to think of messages back when I was trying to use OKCupid before the swipe apps became predominant. Doing it dozens of times in a few days to no positive response when I delved into Hinge initially was extremely demoralizing.

    I’ve been getting a decent amount of matches as I’ve been using it for a few days now (more than Bumble and Tinder in the same period of time when I’d be using one or the other primarily, with a significantly higher response rate). I think there is a weird initial period where the app doesn’t really know who to show your profile to, or who to show you. I still don’t get a lot of likes unless I like someone first, but I suspect that has more to do with how women use the app. Presumably spending more time filtering through the likes and comments they receive.

    I think I may be liking it the best now, but that emotional investment it creates in non-matches is still rough.

    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

    How do you reset them?

    For Tinder, close your account, uninstall it from your phone, remove Tinder from your Facebook settings, make a fresh Facebook account, redownload Tinder, and then sign up using the fresh Facebook account. Or, you could alternate between using your Facebook account and your phone number, provided you wait about 3 months between each reset (its not guaranteed to actually reset, though, that way).

    Oh, that's all?

    It sounds like a lot, but you don't have to delete your old Facebook account nor fill up your new one. The entire process takes about 10 minutes, end to end.

  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    OKc decided to redo how you search for people as in their words it was too confusing
    My account is stuck as I had it set to anywhere and anything {I did not click hookups or casual as it awkward enough talking to women} So I cannot search and still have to do the boring trawl of double take and discovery
    So sadly I feel it's best to walk away as it just was not working for me

  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    Did Tinder start doing something new? I’ve had two dead conversations (one that never even got a reply!) start back up today by the person reaching back out.

    I also had a match that never respond to an opening message pop back up on my new match list last week with the initial message gone.

    LostNinja on
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    I been exchanging messages with someone in OKCupid, which is rare enough for me as it is, and she seems cool.

    She just let me know that she recognized me from the (very active) Meetup group I run. She apparently never attended any events but must have checked it enough to remember my picture.

    It's pretty amusing, but also makes me feel a bit weird since now she knows me better than I realized.

    thatassemblyguy
  • DissociaterDissociater Registered User regular
    Been back on the dating apps for about 2 or 3 weeks. Hinge is mostly successful. I've managed to match with about 75 women so far, but I've only seen about 8 people in person. Another tonight, one tomorrow then another Saturday. So far no one has looked very much like their photos, which is frustrating to be honest. I try to be honest with the photos that I share about myself. I don't understand the bait and switch mentality with these apps. Are they thinking that I'm going to get to the date, see that they look almost completely different from their photos and think: "well I already drove 10 minutes to get here, might as well marry this person"?

    Lind
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Been back on the dating apps for about 2 or 3 weeks. Hinge is mostly successful. I've managed to match with about 75 women so far, but I've only seen about 8 people in person. Another tonight, one tomorrow then another Saturday. So far no one has looked very much like their photos, which is frustrating to be honest. I try to be honest with the photos that I share about myself. I don't understand the bait and switch mentality with these apps. Are they thinking that I'm going to get to the date, see that they look almost completely different from their photos and think: "well I already drove 10 minutes to get here, might as well marry this person"?

    How recent were the photos? Anything in a public space with people around is probably a bit dated and a lot of people don't quite look the same after months of the pandemic. I've seen even martial arts and fashion youtubers get noticeably rounder and let themselves go a bit.

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    Yeah. My close cropped hair has turned into a 70's bush and I've gained a few pounds like everybody else. Kinda a thing that happens when you're cooped up for months on end.

    IncenjucarthatassemblyguyKoopahTroopah
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    I still am confused about dating in a pandemic so sometimes I chat with people and then let it fizzle away because hey there’s still a pandemic going on, I don’t know where I will be or live, I have barely even seen my closest friends and when I do it’s distanced and outside etc so like

    ????

    poo
    DiannaoChongthatassemblyguy
  • DissociaterDissociater Registered User regular
    The pandemic has mostly been contained here, so things are kind of back to normal more or less. So dating is happening again, just socially distanced.

    And it's hard to tell how recent the photos are, but it's really common it seems for people to use 2-5 year old photos, or generous use of filters. I'm really not that superficial, but some of the differences between photos and real life is shocking.

  • EchoEcho Moderator mod
    Blarghy wrote: »
    Most dating apps give a bump to new accounts to get the new user hooked and to quickly build up desirability data on them. If you're a long-term app user, its usually best to reset your accounts every few months or so.

    Yeah, when I first tested Hinge I got three likes in the first day, and I think I've had two in however many months since that was. Granted, I doubt Hinge has a market share anywhere close to Tinder/Bumble here in Sweden.

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
  • KleinKlein Registered User regular
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

  • ErlkönigErlkönig Registered User regular
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

    I'd maybe cut POF from that list. They've been having some issues where certain profiles (or even the site itself) will load browser hijacking scripts or something. Not sure if it was resolved, but for a month-long period, I couldn't do more than log in, check out my own profile, and immediately log out (also, it wasn't the first time it's happened).

    | Origin/R*SC: Ein7919 | Battle.net: Erlkonig#1448 | XBL: Lexicanum | Steam: Der Erlkönig (the umlaut is important) |
    thatassemblyguy
  • Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.
    Hinge is the new hotness, apparently. A lot of folks on these forums are using Hinge.

    Di87pOF.jpg
    PSN: Hahnsoo | MHGU: Hahnsoo, Switch FC: SW-0085-2679-5212
    Shazkar ShadowstormthatassemblyguyZonugalOrcaDissociaterLostNinja
  • thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy he/him ಠ_ಠRegistered User regular
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

    Yeah, OKCupid and POF aren't likely to be good times. Recommend Hahnsoo1's suggestion of Hinge, or Bumble. If your area has active Tinder that can be used, but just be ready to have your boundaries clearly established if you're not looking to do the hookup thing (This goes for the others, but still applies a little bit more to Tinder).

  • KleinKlein Registered User regular
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

    Yeah, OKCupid and POF aren't likely to be good times. Recommend Hahnsoo1's suggestion of Hinge, or Bumble. If your area has active Tinder that can be used, but just be ready to have your boundaries clearly established if you're not looking to do the hookup thing (This goes for the others, but still applies a little bit more to Tinder).

    Thanks for the suggestions, I'll look into Hinge and Bumble. I am not really looking for hookups, I prefer something more serious, is it still worth checking out Tinder?

  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    Klein wrote: »
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

    Yeah, OKCupid and POF aren't likely to be good times. Recommend Hahnsoo1's suggestion of Hinge, or Bumble. If your area has active Tinder that can be used, but just be ready to have your boundaries clearly established if you're not looking to do the hookup thing (This goes for the others, but still applies a little bit more to Tinder).

    Thanks for the suggestions, I'll look into Hinge and Bumble. I am not really looking for hookups, I prefer something more serious, is it still worth checking out Tinder?

    Yes, Tinder has a lot of people looking for serious relationships, particularly if you're 30+ (but also younger too).

    Atlas in ChainsZonugalfedaykin666Hahnsoo1LaOsKoopahTroopah
  • fedaykin666fedaykin666 Registered User regular
    Blarghy wrote: »
    Klein wrote: »
    Klein wrote: »
    I am looking to jump into online dating soon, are there any other websites I should check out besides OkCupid, POF, or Bumble? I am pulling these from the original post and I know things may have changed a lot in the past five years.

    Yeah, OKCupid and POF aren't likely to be good times. Recommend Hahnsoo1's suggestion of Hinge, or Bumble. If your area has active Tinder that can be used, but just be ready to have your boundaries clearly established if you're not looking to do the hookup thing (This goes for the others, but still applies a little bit more to Tinder).

    Thanks for the suggestions, I'll look into Hinge and Bumble. I am not really looking for hookups, I prefer something more serious, is it still worth checking out Tinder?

    Yes, Tinder has a lot of people looking for serious relationships, particularly if you're 30+ (but also younger too).

    I'm not in the US, but women over 30 in my Eastern European country on Tinder are pretty much all or at least mostly looking for serious relationships only, which suits me fine.

  • DissociaterDissociater Registered User regular
    In Canada I recommend Hinge and Bumble. Tinder is good but it's honestly too saturated with people and I've become convinced that (unless you pay for the premium version) the app actively tries to not show you profiles that have already liked you (and I assume vice versa). Given the volume of people on the app, it makes matching a lot harder I've found.

    The reason I came to this conclusion is that the app shows I had something like 70 likes pending. I went 4 days maxing out my swipes and that number went down by 2. Given I probably swipe left 75% of the time, and you get 100 right swipes a day, that's 1600 swipes and it only showed me 2 people who had previously liked me. I'm sure there's something wrong with my methodology, but I've been on tinder, hinge and bumble around the same amount of time and have hundreds of matches between bumble and hinge and like...4 on tinder.

    In terms of an update, I've been seeing two people I rather like, one from hinge one from bumble. One has moved along very fast and the other has moved along very slow. But I like the slow moving girl a lot more. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to choose pretty soon and am not sure how to navigate the situation. Thoughts?

  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    In Canada I recommend Hinge and Bumble. Tinder is good but it's honestly too saturated with people and I've become convinced that (unless you pay for the premium version) the app actively tries to not show you profiles that have already liked you (and I assume vice versa). Given the volume of people on the app, it makes matching a lot harder I've found.

    The reason I came to this conclusion is that the app shows I had something like 70 likes pending. I went 4 days maxing out my swipes and that number went down by 2. Given I probably swipe left 75% of the time, and you get 100 right swipes a day, that's 1600 swipes and it only showed me 2 people who had previously liked me. I'm sure there's something wrong with my methodology, but I've been on tinder, hinge and bumble around the same amount of time and have hundreds of matches between bumble and hinge and like...4 on tinder.

    In terms of an update, I've been seeing two people I rather like, one from hinge one from bumble. One has moved along very fast and the other has moved along very slow. But I like the slow moving girl a lot more. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to choose pretty soon and am not sure how to navigate the situation. Thoughts?

    Right now, likes on Tinder are rather inflated due to their "go global" covid feature, where you can match with people in any city you choose. So, you'll collect likes from all over the world that are pointless if you're looking to actually date someone.

    Regarding your dating issue, I can't give you help in picking one, but if you feel a choice imminent, perhaps it is time to make a big move in slower moving relationship.

  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    Also, I'm 95% sure that the 'like' count on Tinder won't decrease if you swipe left on someone that liked you. My area's not quite as populated and sometimes I can clearly tell when the blurry photo on the like page matches the first photo in the profile.

    AistanEchoAtlas in ChainsKoopahTroopah
  • AistanAistan Tiny Bat Registered User regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    Also, I'm 95% sure that the 'like' count on Tinder won't decrease if you swipe left on someone that liked you. My area's not quite as populated and sometimes I can clearly tell when the blurry photo on the like page matches the first photo in the profile.

    I can also tell when the blurry photo on the like page never matches anyone they show me ever.

    steam_sig.png
    DissociaterEcho
  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    Also, I'm 95% sure that the 'like' count on Tinder won't decrease if you swipe left on someone that liked you. My area's not quite as populated and sometimes I can clearly tell when the blurry photo on the like page matches the first photo in the profile.

    I've seen my likes decrease when I swipe left on someone that's liked me, though not always immediately. It'll sometimes save that for a later popup: "Oh no! You missed a potential match! Sign up for Tinder Gold to find out who!"

    Dissociater
  • DissociaterDissociater Registered User regular
    Yeah I'm convinced now that Tinder actively doesn't want you to match with anyone if you don't pay for Gold.

    EchoAistanKoopahTroopah
  • EchoEcho Moderator mod
    edited August 2020
    Bobble wrote: »
    Also, I'm 95% sure that the 'like' count on Tinder won't decrease if you swipe left on someone that liked you. My area's not quite as populated and sometimes I can clearly tell when the blurry photo on the like page matches the first photo in the profile.

    Yeah, there's a very distinctive one that I know for a fact that I swiped left on like two weeks ago that still shows as a blurred "like".

    Echo on
    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
    thatassemblyguy
  • Atlas in ChainsAtlas in Chains Registered User regular
    In terms of an update, I've been seeing two people I rather like, one from hinge one from bumble. One has moved along very fast and the other has moved along very slow. But I like the slow moving girl a lot more. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to choose pretty soon and am not sure how to navigate the situation. Thoughts?

    This is your chance for madcap simultaneous dates, complete with bathroom break wardrobe changes, hilarious conversation mixups, and an inevitable explosion at the end when they both find out. Sure, you end the night with no ladies, but you will be living your best life and you will have a good story for your next match.

    Hahnsoo1ElvenshaeZonugalArmorocFry
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Yeah I'm convinced now that Tinder actively doesn't want you to match with anyone if you don't pay for Gold.

    Monetization of dating apps is a weird thing. They profit off of you being single for longer but have to provide enough success to be viewed as worthwhile enough to pay for.

    They also can't make any guarantees of success but still have to allude to it, e.g. Hinge has a marketing line about being an app designed to give you a reason to delete it.

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
    thatassemblyguyArmoroc
  • DissociaterDissociater Registered User regular
    In terms of an update, I've been seeing two people I rather like, one from hinge one from bumble. One has moved along very fast and the other has moved along very slow. But I like the slow moving girl a lot more. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to choose pretty soon and am not sure how to navigate the situation. Thoughts?

    This is your chance for madcap simultaneous dates, complete with bathroom break wardrobe changes, hilarious conversation mixups, and an inevitable explosion at the end when they both find out. Sure, you end the night with no ladies, but you will be living your best life and you will have a good story for your next match.

    This is close to how things played out, ultimately.

    Elvenshae
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    I need photo advice!

    2020 being 2020 I didn't have many photos taken of me, which is a bummer because I ended up getting in the best shape of my life.

    Yesterday I was trying on a shirt and it struck me how different my body looks after I took a picture.

    Now, I don't think I can use this picture, since it seems kinda douchy... but any ideas on how I could take something similar that gets the same point across?
    p4jeaccxigh0.jpg

  • thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy he/him ಠ_ಠRegistered User regular
    @kyougu - recommend trying to find a way to get some photos of you doing an activity while having fun. In pre-covid times I'd suggest finding a way to get some of the photos they take to sell during running races, but that's not an option here.

    I'm not sure there's a good option outside of staged photos doing something active (throwing a frisbee, etc) while socially distanced, but I'm also not super creative when it comes to demonstrating them gains.

  • BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    Yeah, the classic way to sneak in fit bod pics is to use outdoor social pictures where it'd make sense to be shirtless (beach, pool, sports, etc) where people would naturally be taking pictures of you just having fun or accomplishing something. That being said, if you really need to, you could use that same photo setup you've got there, but put yourself in a knowingly goofy situation to be flexing in (like competing in a flex off with your 8-year old niece) as long as you have a giant grin on your face.

  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Blarghy wrote: »
    Yeah, the classic way to sneak in fit bod pics is to use outdoor social pictures where it'd make sense to be shirtless (beach, pool, sports, etc) where people would naturally be taking pictures of you just having fun or accomplishing something. That being said, if you really need to, you could use that same photo setup you've got there, but put yourself in a knowingly goofy situation to be flexing in (like competing in a flex off with your 8-year old niece) as long as you have a giant grin on your face.

    Does @Kyougu have a niece already or should we also be helping his siblings with their profiles?

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
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