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Penny Arcade - Comic - A Tale Of Two Horses
Dog
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Penny Arcade - Comic - A Tale Of Two Horses
Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.
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This sounds amazing.
They made The Witcher using Goat Simulator's engine?
''Select your silver sword, and then, select your horse.''
http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2012/11/02
Yeah since he has the same movement as Geralt or Geralt has the same maneuverability as a horse, every time he bumps in to something he tries to get around it in clumsy arcs resulting running and bumping in to villagers which keep yelling and swearing at him. "Rude!"
Wait wait. What about the Maw? Although it's said in that post that it's Jorm with the problem. Probably all of that donutite ore he gnaws on now and then. And now styrofoam? Looking for Rolos? Maybe looking in people's mouths, or the mouths of their horses, even in the pursuit of something edible or at least nutritional in some other way, is a step in the right direction. And as a bonus he'd get to see all the wholly appropriate things normal folk put in their facehole.
I don't skip text unless I consider doing so the only way to continue playing the game. If it's a choice between punching my screen or skipping a line or two of a completely ham-fisted attempt to stroke at my emotional chords, or heartstrings if you will, that line is getting skipped. I like having my heartstrings toyed with, as well as my funny bone and all those other cool things. But when it's bad, it's really bad. At the same time, as a person who types up gigantic forum posts, I've had to work hard for many years to not flip my shit when people skip the words I write. I wrote this to enlighten, entertain and/or share a very personal space with you, not for you to say tl;dr. It used to be a problem, especially with instructional material, because it's just wrong to not read the instructions. But I'm better now; I went to eviscerators anonymous and I've only fallen off the wagon twice.
On the comic, I kinda feel like no one who produces an excellent, superbly useful horse companion in a game has ever ridden or seen an actual horse. Take the Assassin's Steed as an example. It's where you need it, when you need it. A more realistic example of the extent of convenience offered by these beasts can be taken from Skyrim. You have to go somewhere to get your horse, because it's stabled, right? It's not stabled where you'd like, you know, at your home. And if you've just assassinated a member of the royal family, you can't just Zorro your ass to safety, because the horse is busy eating grass or something outside of town. Maybe the horse will kinda go fast for a few seconds, then its engine falters and that horsepower goes right back down. Sure, it can kinda help you climb mountains (which is a real thing but less cartoonishly physics-defying), but getting back down will often provide you with fresh horse meat from your trusty companion's corpse. I'd rather have an incredibly useful and unrealistic horse than one that I will often prefer not using or owning or buying or stealing.
For the past ten or so years, I've found myself in online discussions that could benefit from linking to a Penny Arcade comic. It seems there's a PA comic for any situation. For example, sometimes we need a very specific example of human behavior because we don't know how to fake being human. There's a comic for that. It's been tremendously useful for me because of the going exchange rate.
...tl;dr - Jerry needs to change his diet to include things like food. Skipping text is bad. Better horses are better. Penny Arcade is the Simpsons of the internet.
As a writer, I freaking hate horses. I realize why Tolkien had the dwarves just restock on ponies at every save point after the last ponies got eaten. Having characters (or players in tabletop games) get specific, named, heroic horses and then having to keep track of what happens to those horses when the party has to venture through a cave or raft a whitewater river is a nightmare.
Funny thing is that Geralt doesn't have one horse he crosses the world with, they're just a bunch of different horses which he all named Roach.
Lol, so Roach is like the Phantom? The ghost who trots? Imagine if Geralt whistled and two Roaches came out from behind bushes on separate sides of the road? Awkward.
Perhaps the reason the horses suck is that they're just rebelling from being given a weird name and the lack of exclusivity. Oh. Sidenote, I usually dislike puns but "our roan" made me grin more than grimace. +points.
"CHARGE!"
*Roach comes to a halt*
"FORWARD!"
*Roach makes a 90 degree left turn for no reason*
That's just because of his VD
At first I thought he named his horse after Roche but it was spelled differently.
In Final Fantasy XIV you get a Chocobo mount that you can train to join you in battle.
Having played both games it's not really what he's asking for.
In my line of work, we keep referring to a game called Barbie Horse Adventures as the epitome of a bad video game tie-in:
So I guess if you wanna train a horse and hate all the incredible amount of up keep they require that'll do ya.
Ahem. Steel sword, for a horsey.
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