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Chincymcchilla

Bobkins Flymo wrote: »

@Metalbourne @Langly @Chincymcchilla @Uriel @Magic Pink

You are all gathered at the local 7-11. Local legends speak of a nearby abandoned mini mall that is full of priceless treasure. You have prepared for the journey, and are looking for help locating the mall. The 7-11 has three people in it, and is otherwise fairly dead right now. The cashier is looking at your party with a bit of exasperation.

What will you do?

I approach the cashier and simultaneously use my beholder beam and rockin minotaur pecs to convince him to tell me where the mall is

Sterica

Please roll for prerogative

Metalbourne

I stare at the cashier while pulling a knife from my corset and sensually touching myself with it. Also I buy some funyuns and a monster coffee to stock up for the journey.

Chincymcchilla

geth roll 1d20

1d20 14 [1d20=14]

Chincymcchilla

Remember to add my prerogative bonus from the sword of sugoi

Uriel

I consult the ouvre of the great prophets violent Jay and shaggy 2 dope for clues.

Metalbourne

Also is that three people besides us or are two of us outside?

Sterica

You feel pretty entitled about your actions, so the cashier is quick to cave to your threats of violence.

"It's about six miles from here, near the old Radio Shack!" he stammers.

Metalbourne, please roll for sensuality.

Langly

I ask the other 7-11 occupants if they know where the mall is

The Betgirl

wait, it was today!? i thought it was next wednesday!

Chincymcchilla

Bobkins Flymo wrote: »

You feel pretty entitled about your actions, so the cashier is quick to cave to your threats of violence.

"It's about six miles from here, near the old Radio Shack!" he stammers.

Metalbourne, please roll for sensuality.

I thank the owner through a complex series of eye winks and pec pops

Theodore Floosevelt

KNOCK KNOCK DING DONG hello comrades *voice cracks, pimples pop* i've got three extra large hawaiiangrads for miss flymo?

Metalbourne

Geth roll 1d9 for sensuality

sensuality:

1d9 9 [1d9=9]

Metalbourne

NATURAL NINE! YES!

Sterica

Hawaiian...my fucking PC had pre-saved orders from last time GOD DAMN YOU KEVIN

Chincymcchilla

Metal your corset gives you + 5

Munkus Beaver

Fucking hell, Rorus, Hawaiian? Really?

Nullzone

I'll take the hawaiian pies if nobody else wants em

Sterica

Metal is too sensual for anyone to notice the blatant thievery, and she gains a pack of funyuns and coffee.

Unfortunately the other store patrons are too distracted by the knifeplay to give a coherent answer to your inquiries.

Magic Pink

Bobkins Flymo wrote: »

@Metalbourne @Langly @Chincymcchilla @Uriel @Magic Pink

You are all gathered at the local 7-11. Local legends speak of a nearby abandoned mini mall that is full of priceless treasure. You have prepared for the journey, and are looking for help locating the mall. The 7-11 has three people in it, and is otherwise fairly dead right now. The cashier is looking at your party with a bit of exasperation.

What will you do?

impregnate him

Langly

well guys I guess we should head to the mall, 6 miles is quite a trek

Chincymcchilla

I use my animists brush to summon my anima (which takes the form of a bipedal chinchilla with spikey hair)

I consult my anima to see if he can smell the telltale stench of failure that surrounds the radioshack that is near the fabled mall

Nullzone

Says the turtle on a skateboard

Metalbourne

I cast "conjure bus pass" and sit on the bench of bus summoning

Sterica

Magic Pink, roll for insemination

Cilla Black

I throw these Hawaiian pizzas in the garbage with the rest of the trash

Magic Pink

it's the alien egg, it gets +2 if I sing old Bing Crosby songs to it while it hatches remember

geth roll 1d20

1d20 5 [1d20=5]

Qanamil

NeoToma wrote: »

You only bought one 2 liter Mountain Dew? Do that's not enough for me, let alone the whole gang man.

Better be some cheetos too.

Theodore Floosevelt

Nullzone wrote: »

I'll take the hawaiian pies if nobody else wants em

free pizza handouts is indeed our business model comrade *multiple zits are born and die before your eyes, clad in the same red as our countrymen of old, glory to the motherland* please distribute these among your compatriots but know that this will consume your entire month's ration of pizza if you do not have a coupon

Metalbourne

I text Kevin goatse

Sterica

Magic Pink wrote: »

it's the alien egg, it gets +2 if I sing old Bing Crosby songs to it while it hatches remember

geth roll 1d20

You fail, and the 7-11 is really sticky.

The cashier has had enough of your half-horseshit and asks your party to leave.

OmnipotentBagel

I intercept Cilla's garbage. The delicate interplay of savory and sweet that Hawaiian pizza achieves is perfection and I will not see it wasted.

Nullzone, I'll split this with you.

Chincymcchilla

Bobkins Flymo wrote: »

Magic Pink wrote: »

it's the alien egg, it gets +2 if I sing old Bing Crosby songs to it while it hatches remember

geth roll 1d20

You fail, and the 7-11 is really sticky.

The cashier has had enough of your half-horseshit and asks your party to leave.

excuse me minotaurs are not half horse thats centaurs RACIST

Magic Pink

I go outside and cry in the gutter, bemoaning my loss of a possible extra friend

Sterica

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

I use my animists brush to summon my anima (which takes the form of a bipedal chinchilla with spikey hair)

I consult my anima to see if he can smell the telltale stench of failure that surrounds the radioshack that is near the fabled mall

Your anima, Ishigo Chinchilla, is too far to use his Detect Failure skill!

Radius

Rorus, for fuck's sake, keep it down out here. No I don't fucking care if you got Hawaiian pizza, some of us have to work in the goddamn morning and if Kevin wakes me up at 3 in the fucking morning one more time I am kicking all of you out.

Magic Pink

surely I can use my Force skills to detect the sounds of millions of voices suddenly crying out in terror that usually comes from a strip mall

Bucketman

I am a Dwarf Warrior from a distant land. Your ways and customs are strange to me. I see a crying baby and calm it with my soothing chest hairs which are also part of my beard

Metalbourne

Radius wrote: »

Rorus, for fuck's sake, keep it down out here. No I don't fucking care if you got Hawaiian pizza, some of us have to work in the goddamn morning and if Kevin wakes me up at 3 in the fucking morning one more time I am kicking all of you out.

Kevin's not here, man!

Chincymcchilla

I follow Langlodash towards the mall, having done all I could for the 7-11 owner