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Bat[Chat] Insane Opinions
Preacher
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ben Carson is a leading front runner in the GOP presidential election and he thinks the following.
AMERICA!
A is for AP History
Ben Carson thinks that “most” people, upon completing AP HISTORY, will want to join ISIS.
B is for Book Tour
Ben Carson suspended his public campaign for a couple of weeks to promote his book, A More Perfect Union. Conveniently, there isn’t much difference between a BOOK TOUR stop and a campaign stop anymore!
C is for Correctness
Political CORRECTNESS, that is. Ben Carson believes that it is admirable that at least ISIS is willing to die for what they believe, as opposed to the pussies living in this country “busily giving away every value and every belief for the sake of political correctness.”
D is for D-Day
Running for President, says Ben Carson, is sort of like being a soldier storming the beach at Normandy on D-DAY. Tens of thousands of Allied soldiers were killed on real D-DAY in the process of fighting the Nazis. Nobody so far has been killed while campaigning for Ben Carson, and most of the Nazis are in Argentina or dead.
E is for Evolution
EVOLUTION is not real.
F is for Fundraising
Ben Carson is fer it. Very fer it. In fact, 69% of the money he raises on this campaign is going to... raising more money.
G is for Guns
Having one’s GUNS taken away is just as bad if not worse than being shot with a GUN, says Ben Carson.
H is for Homosexuals
Dr. Ben Carson thinks that prison rape can “turn” men into HOMOSEXUALS. Ergo, being gay is a choice.
I is for Islam
Ben Carson thinks adherence to ISLAM is reason enough to disqualify somebody from running for President.
J is for Jews
Ben Carson thinks the JEWS would have maybe done a better job of surviving the Holocaust if they had guns.
K is for Killing a Baby
Ben Carson considers all abortion “KILLING A BABY,” so if you’re pregnant, you better stay pregnant, even if it could kill you.
L is for Liar
Serious presidential candidate and definitely-not-future-cult-leader Ben Carson called President Obama a “psychopath” because Ben Carson believes he is a LIAR.
M is for Marriage
Dr. Ben Carson believes that same-sex MARRIAGE is part of the “new world order.”
N is for NAMBLA
Ben Carson believes that many gays are members of NAMBLA, the North American Man Boy Love Association.
O is for Obamacare
GOP frontrunner Ben Carson believes that is the worst thing to happen to America since slavery, which means Ben Carson believes that the Affordable Care Act is worse than 9/11.
P is for Pyramids
Ben Carson believes that the PYRAMIDS were built by Joseph to store grain and not by the Egyptians as a place to bury dead pharaohs. Because not only is the Bible real, it’s a heavenly writing prompt for its devotees to just make shit up about everything.
Q is for Quack
Mannatech is a company that makes QUACK medicine based on Christianity and something called “glyconutrients.” Ben Carson loves (or, until extremely recently, loved) it!
R is for the Real Racists
Ben Carson has found the REAL RACISTS. It’s the Democrats, the party of affirmative action, sit-down meetings with Black Lives Matter participants, and Barack Obama.
S is for Shooting (and Surviving)
Ben Carson would SURVIVE a mass SHOOTING by tackling the guy with the gun. So simple. Cannot believe none of the thousands of victims of mass shootings ever thought of that cool idea.
T is for Taxes (and Tithe)
The basis for our TAX system should be Biblical TITHING, says presidential frontrunner Ben Carson.
U is for Urine
Here’s a thing Ben Carson said that some terrorist would probably pay a million dollars for a container of ebola URINE.
V is for Veterans Affairs
Ben Carson believes that the VA scandal, which resulted in thousands of veterans waiting obscene amounts of time for medical care, was a “gift from God” sent to teach us a lesson about bureaucracy. Imagine how pissed you’d be to find out your dad’s death as he waited for care at a VA hospital was just part of a lesson God wanted to teach America about small government. I’d be pretty pissed!
W is for W. Cleon Skousen
Ben Carson is a devotee of W. CLEON SKOUSEN, a dead conspiracy theorist who believes that secret commies are controlling America.
X is for eXpats
In 2014, Ben Carson and his wife held onto their son’s Australian passport incase they needed to become EXPATS and leave the country if Republicans did not win back the Senate. Phew! Glad they didn’t have to leave the country like Rush Limbaugh did after Obamacare passed.
Y is for Yuma County
Ben Carson has said that a program in Yuma County, AZ eliminated 97% of illegal immigration. That’s not true!
Z is for Zero
Ben Carson has served a total of zero years in public office. This is the one thing in which a sane person and Ben Carson should agree.
AMERICA!
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
pleasepaypreacher.net
pleasepaypreacher.net
+18
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I have made the wrong selection.
It won't make a difference one hundred years from now. It's fine.
WHAT THE FUCK
NNID: Hakkekage
one mo' time
Letting this thread be created is having catastrophic repercussions.
In follow up to what I had posted about earlier in the previous thread I had a free moment to speak with my manager and, coincidentally, he wanted to speak with me.
Went into his office and I was ready to plead my case but he prefaced it with him saying he was the bearer of good news. Needless to say when he started saying "bearer of" I was internally starting to freak until he said good news. Anyway, the good news as it would turn out is that our CEO has decided that he wanted to move everyone that was on hourly to salary. Now, I know that normally this isn't great from an overtime standpoint but I'll give a bit of background on that.
In the province of New Brunswick, the legislation is that if you work over 44 hours in a week you are entitled to receive minimum wage plus 50%. Now, this is not a lot. And it's the provincial minimum wage, not my base pay and that is $5 less then what I make an hour. So, due to that fact, anytime I worked over 44 hours in a week (not often mind you), I would be entitled to make $15.30 an hour. The kicker to this is that I in fact make normally $15/hr.
So, with that in mind I was interested to know what all was going to be entailed with me moving to salary. Management looked at what I made last year gross and for the year and decided that because of what I had made that a raise was in order. So they are bumping up my pay from approx. $33,000/year (after holiday pays, vacation, sick, etc) to $36,000 year base. So, comparatively speaking, when I calculate it out I've gone from $15/hr to $18.75/hr.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Congrats!
Celeste [Switch] - She'll be wrestling with inner demons when she comes...
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age [Switch] - Sit down and watch our game play itself
pleasepaypreacher.net
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After Fast Five the franchise became enjoyable cheese.
This some bullshit.
nope. too far. Fuck you, Cheesefucker Lavigne
It's like high 40s over here.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Cougar Gold makes excellent Grilled Cheese Sammitches. I bet it makes a dope ass mac and cheese. FYI HTH.
Is...is Avril Lavigne doing that?
Do you think we are unaware of this
the grilled cheese sandwiches we have made would make you weep
NNID: Hakkekage
the instantaneous blood clot upon ingesting
you have never seen its like, Deebs
NNID: Hakkekage
*votes for cold weather tax*
I dunno. I remember last week you guys were all "Abloo Abloo. We have way too much delicious cheese. We couldnt POSSIBLY use it all before it went bad" like youse all was da Cheese Kings of Astoria.
But I don't know if I could physically withstand it
YOU FUCKER!!!
pleasepaypreacher.net
should have sent a poet...
...and a cardiothoracic surgeon
I'm not around all the time, and when i am it is a pain in the butt to drag out the press! Also Beasto like, never buys bread, so it's rarely hanging around
that is going to change
NNID: Hakkekage
LARRY LOVES COUGAR GOLD MAC N CHEESE
somebody send me a tin
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
twitch.tv/tehsloth
i want a grilled cheese
gimme
Thanks Jean! Needless to say I was happy about it and just got off the phone with the wife who is very happy for me too.
Oh...and a bit more good news I suppose I can now reveal to [chat] as well.
We are getting another dog! Another beagle came into the pound a few days ago and sadly has gone unclaimed so my folks are going to pick her up for me and getting vet checked and we shall be meeting up to pick her up from them.
It's bomb ass cheese that comes in a tin. Some people put it on triscuits apparently.