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So there I was, standing in the parking lot of 7-11, minding my own business with my slurpee and my red bull, when this car comes tearing ass into the lot. Immediately two masked guys leap out of the car, and run into the 7-11.
Now, 7-11, having big glass doors made it pretty easy for me to see what was going on. As I stood there, mouth agape I realized that my buddy Tibor was getting robbed. And I was witnessing it! I ducked behind the back of my truck because oh shit these guys had guns and ski masks and looked pretty fucking serious. So there I am, hiding like a little coward behind the back of my truck when the cops arrive.
All of a sudden there are like 5 cop cars in the parking lot, and as the cops begin pouring out of them they all draw their weapons and point them directly at the doors. The doors that I am in front of. So now I have dudes with guns behind me, dudes with guns in front of me, and oh god they want to kill each other. The guys robbing the place must have noticed the cops were there, because they weren't coming out, so the head cop picked up a bullhorn and shouted "Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Hey hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Go! Go! Go! You mixed up Siciliano. All you Calabrese do the mambo like-a crazy with the hey mambo! Don't wanna tarantella. Hey mambo! No more mozzarella. Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Try an enchilada with a fish baccala. Hey goomba! I love how you dance the rumba. But take some advice paisano learn-a how to mambo! If you're gonna be a square you ain't-a gonna go nowhere! Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano hey hey mambo mambo Italiano. Go! Go Joe! Shake like a tiavanna. E lo che se dice you get happy in the feetza when you Mambo Italiano! Hey chatrul! You don't-a have to go to the school. Just to make it with a big bambino. It's like vino. Kid you good-a looking but you don't-a know what's cooking 'til you - Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Hey hey mambo ! Mambo Italiano. Ho! Ho! Ho! you mixed up Siciliano. E lo che se diche you get happy in the feetza when you Mambo Italiano!"
All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got
smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited April 2007
I have the scene from the Mask playing in my head now.
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
Posts
god i hope so
hahahahahhaha
STEAM!
such a hard victory
All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got
smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!
STEAM!
if you can find better pussy anywhere, fuck it
Dance party.
Duh.
DAMN! i knew i forgot something
the picture shouldve reminded me fack!
STEAM!
it's ok
in fact you should put a big red FUCK IT
just below his mouth
then edit that it
the guy robbed em for a fucking black & decker power tool.
what a tool.
it's your fault Uncle Ben is dead
That was for you.
I know, right. You can drill all day long with that thing. I could put up like a thousand shelves before i got bored.
What a tool.
I am so happy.
she was workin out at the smoke & lotto shop
and this dude came in with a note that said "I have a gun, empty the register"
and she's like "Fuck you, no you don't. Fuck off."
he bailed
she got a reprimand from the management for that
she quit in protest
in my defense i was bit by a spider but all i got was this lousy tshirt
3DS: 5241-1953-7031
I read "built by a spider"
and I was like, "Oh, ok, that explains it"
god thats silly
whaaaaaaat
I was not disappointed
uh she did a pretty stupid thing and it's fairly standard practice for most companies to say "GIVE THEM THE FUCKING MONEY"
STEAM!
it is standard policy that we don't resist and we co-operate and we never try to apprehend shoplifters
i've twice broken this rule
both times i think i was justified and i didn't get in much shit
I felt the urge, and I could not resist. I just couldn't get that fucking video out of my head.
The video in question
Hey mambooo mambo italiano