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Faule Metze [Chat]

ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
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This is the Faule Metze (also Faule Mette). A supergun made in the Germanies in 1411. Cast out of bronze in Brunswick, Germany by Henning Bussenschutte, it was intended for the defense of the city. It weighs in at 8.75t, with a caliber of between 26 to 36 inches depending on where you measured. It's ammo was rocks that weighed between 710 and 933 lbs. It could throw those stones about 1.5 miles give or take. Each firing took up to 70 lbs of gunpowder. As you can imagine, loading this thing with 15th century technology was a massive pain in the ass. Because of this it was only fired 12 times and not one of those times was in anger. In the 18th century it was realized that the gun was a huge waste of expensive bronze and it was melted down and turned into a number of smaller, lighter field pieces.

The caption reads:

The largest gun in Germany,
known as the Lazy Slut,
was last fired in the year 1650.

Of it's contemporary bombards, it was the third largest of it's class. With the Pumhart von Steyr as the second, and the Tsar Cannon which holds the record for largest caliber cannon.

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Posts

  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    We can always depend on you Thom.

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  • NecoNeco In My Restless Dreams Registered User regular
    Meow

  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Singing songs in my room has greatly improved my mood tonight.

    Music, you do things to me chemically.

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  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Oh thank goodness. I would have dropped the ball.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Neco wrote: »
    Meow

    Rowr.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    We can always depend on you Thom.

    I need to do some more. I'm running low.

  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    I should finish Preacher.

    I read half of it and never finished it. I have all the tpb sitting next to my computer.

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  • zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    You know what they say about having the largest gun.

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    We believe this Special Ale is Something Unique. Feeding Brown Cane Sugar to otherwise Cultured Brewery Yeast is a'kin to feeding Raw Shark to your Gerbil. It is unlikely to ever occur in nature without Human Intervention. And it looks weird besides. But it's happened and now it's too Late.

    i can sip to that!

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  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    zepherin wrote: »
    You know what they say about having the largest gun.

    You don't shoot it often because it's a huge pain in the ass?

  • programjunkieprogramjunkie Registered User regular
    "I can't start laundry, I'll be in bed any minute now." - me, 2.5 hours ago.

  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    zepherin wrote: »
    You know what they say about having the largest gun.

    You don't shoot it often because it's a huge pain in the ass?

    Pain in the ass?

    What the hell have you been doing with it? :bigfrown:

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  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    Drank on a Thursday. Wit was I thanking

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Drank on a Thursday. Wit was I thanking

    That it's thursday.

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  • thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy Janitor of Technical Debt .Registered User regular
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Drank on a Thursday. Wit was I thanking

    You're right. Thursdays are for recovery so Fridays can be legendary. Especially after drinking on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Snoqualmie, WARegistered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    I should finish Preacher.

    I read half of it and never finished it. I have all the tpb sitting next to my computer.
    He and his wife have a baby boy at the end! :)

  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Solomon Grundy born on a Sunday
    Messed up on Monday
    Tipsy on Tuesday
    Wasted on Wednesday
    Trashed on Thursday
    Fermented on Friday
    Sloshed on Saturday

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User, Moderator mod
    ultima ratio regum indeed

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    Ohhhhh good some asshole delaying the bus because thst person refuses to pay.

  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I'm dranking on a Thursday

    is cool

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User, Moderator mod
    of course all I have to do is go to sleep when I'm done

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    If your porn is boring and vanilla, tho

    Why are you worried about someone finding it

    it'd just be embarrassing to be so boring

    fuck gendered marketing
  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User, Moderator mod
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    ok now I have some feels

    drank moar

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    i am buying the master and margarita, infinite jest, and maybe ulysses

    what other books should i buy to make me look smart if someone saw them

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    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • TicaldfjamTicaldfjam Snoqualmie, WARegistered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    uyiwwhgqrp5k.jpeg

    ok now I have some feels

    drank moar

    This week is a fuckaduck!

    Fuck cancer!

  • ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    cat update- eaten a half a can of food, using litter box again, playing with his scratching post

    CMON KITTY PLZ

  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    If your porn is boring and vanilla, tho

    Why are you worried about someone finding it

    it'd just be embarrassing to be so boring

    And how is Playboy Magazine doing these days?

  • ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User, Moderator mod
    y2jake215 wrote: »
    i am buying the master and margarita, infinite jest, and maybe ulysses

    what other books should i buy to make me look smart if someone saw them

    gravity's rainbow

    crime and punishment

    snookie's "auto"biography

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck Registered User regular
    @Solomaxwell6 the goblin emperor is pretty good so far

    it really likes the irritating fantasy habit of making up dumb names for things, but what're ya gonna do :l

  • thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy Janitor of Technical Debt .Registered User regular
    I'm pretty boring. I blame being raised a Catholic.

  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    Hmm Mike Golic from Mike and Mike made an interesting suggestion for the first thing he would purchase if he won the powerball. A movie theater that is commercial grade complete with snack bar and stocked with the latest new release films.

  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook.

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  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    Hmm Mike Golic from Mike and Mike made an interesting suggestion for the first thing he would purchase if he won the powerball. A movie theater that is commercial grade complete with snack bar and stocked with the latest new release films.

    The RIAA would probably slap him with a "public performance" suit the second he let anyone watch a movie in it though. Unless he was paying commercial licensing fees, in which case he'd need to win 3 or 4 powerballs...

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  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    Hmm Mike Golic from Mike and Mike made an interesting suggestion for the first thing he would purchase if he won the powerball. A movie theater that is commercial grade complete with snack bar and stocked with the latest new release films.

    The RIAA would probably slap him with a "public performance" suit the second he let anyone watch a movie in it though. Unless he was paying commercial licensing fees, in which case he'd need to win 3 or 4 powerballs...

    Powerball was like half a billion dollars. Think the powerball winners could afford it.

  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook.

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    Should thank John McTiernan too, he's the one who dropped Rickman in that scene, on a "2" count when Rickman was expecting a "3". That reaction wasn't acting, that was "oh shit I'm going to die."

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  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited January 2016
    @Shivahn

    Make shift madras chicken curry with a ton of finger hot peppers

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    Photo prior to adding more turmeric.

    DasUberEdward on
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  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    looks awesome due

  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    DUE, I can bring beer. And cake. I have cake.

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  • ZampanovZampanov You May Not Go Home Until Tonight Has Been MagicalRegistered User regular
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    If your porn is boring and vanilla, tho

    Why are you worried about someone finding it

    it'd just be embarrassing to be so boring

    And how is Playboy Magazine doing these days?

    Relaunching as a not porn mag in spring last I heard

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    PSN/XBL: Zampanov -- Steam: Zampanov
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Hmm Mike Golic from Mike and Mike made an interesting suggestion for the first thing he would purchase if he won the powerball. A movie theater that is commercial grade complete with snack bar and stocked with the latest new release films.

    The RIAA would probably slap him with a "public performance" suit the second he let anyone watch a movie in it though. Unless he was paying commercial licensing fees, in which case he'd need to win 3 or 4 powerballs...

    Powerball was like half a billion dollars. Think the powerball winners could afford it.

    Considering movie studios take revenue from ticket sales I doubt he could for long.

    I did read about this thing before I linked it here but it was some massive rackmount system that was all encrypted and shit but it had current theaters movies in your home but it was some ungodly amount and was pay per movie viewing I cant find it now though I dont remember its name.

This discussion has been closed.