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As you sneak past, you overhear [Things The Guards Say]

RingoRingo Stardust, GoldenCaught in a Devil's BargainRegistered User regular
edited January 2016 in Critical Failures
Denizens of the Tabletop RPG Realms! Hear me! Or rather - hear them!

How many times have your PCs been wandering around the town/castle/evil lair and run into a pair of guards? Sometimes it's just a friendly reminder from the GM - don't you start a fight in here unless you want this to get messy. Other times you need to sneak past them to accomplish your goals. But always - always, they're just standing there. Guarding. Being boring and probably, if we could look into their NPC heads, being really really bored.

But no longer! Some of you may already have made this a standard practice, but I say (in the spirit of Terry Pratchett's Discworld) we give these nameless NPCs a little bit of color, humor, and personality. How, you ask? By having them talk to each other where the PCs can overhear, and thus introducing new and perhaps outlandish setting elements into the game.

What This Thread Is For: It is up to all of us to encourage one another to bring more life to our games. As such, we can all contribute random vague pieces of dialogue for two (or more) supposed NPC guards just standing around guarding things and having a bit of a chat. The more questions the dialogue leaves in the heads of eavesdropping PCs the better. So just go ahead and post some snippets and let's see what fun we can have!

Here are some examples as to what has occurred to me this evening (to note, my current game has a setting which overlaps with the real world, which makes for some more surreal references here):

"Did you hear Traymaner died?"
"Yup. Dragon."
"And Black Rosero?"
"Dragon."
"Diahtress should help some--"
"--nope. Dragon. Last week."
"Didn't we win the war?"
"Not so's you'd know it."

******

"-another Leviathan test tomorrow."
"Are they insane? They're insane. Didn't you almost die last time?"
"Me an' my little boy was in the stands when that monstrosity hit the Pinnacle. Right disaster that was."
"This is just nonsense. The Dream Codex has worked for generations."
"With the occasional escape of a wild pack of Ace Grummons."
"That's besides the point. Airships will continue to fly by the grace of darkforce. This helium thing is never going to catch on."

******

"I'm telling you she was fated by the gods to die."
"I don't think just because the song said -"
"You can't write a song about not going to rehab and not end up dead! It just doesn't happen."
"Your obsession with Amy Winehouse would be creepy if she was still alive."
"But it's not because she was fated to die!"

******

"You're going again?"
"Of course, can't miss it. This is the pure raw tigerforce. I can't believe you're gonna pass."
"Look, I get the rush, I get it - but my man's got two left feet and that's a fact. I ain't gonna get kicked in the shins all night just cause he doesn't know how to jump, jive, and wail."
"I swear, you managed to hook up with the only skeleton in town who can't Swing worth a damn."
"Don't I know it."

ceres wrote: »
I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
Edcrab's Exigency RPG now featured at the Exigency Forum
Ringo on
Farangudestroyah87

Posts

  • FaranguFarangu I am a beardy man With a beardy planRegistered User regular
    "Can't believe we have another marksmanship drill tomorrow. There's no point to these things."
    "There's always room for self-improvement. You have trouble hitting the broadside of a barn, you shouldn't be complaining."
    "Alright, listen. One, I don't need YOU jumping on that whole 'broadside of a barn' wagon, I get it enough. And B-"
    "You mean two."
    "I mean shut up, I'd love to meet the guy that actually passes these drills. Each of us is wearing 45 pounds of stuff, and is looking through basically a giant welder's mask. Why can't they self-improve us some better gear?"
    "...you have a point."
    "See? It's common sense."

    ******

    "You watch the match last night? Wait, sorry, forgot; you don't watch that stuff."
    "I'll have you know I DID watch the match last night."
    "Oh really? What'd you think?"
    "It was...thrilling stuff. The way that guy...moved with the...thing-"
    "Uh-huh. What do you think of <insert local province here>'s chances this season?
    "Oh, I think they have a great chance to make it to this year's...Ultracup?"
    "Nope."
    "I tried."

    Ringodestroyah87
  • Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    "Ever wonder why we are here?"
    "I ask myself that all the time. Are we here because of chance? Will of the Gods? Destiny? Do we have the free will or are we here because someone above decided that there needed to be two guys standing here, guarding this vault, because we might become important someday?"
    "No, I meant right here in the open. Shouldn't we be behind a wall or something so some archer doesn't shoot us from one of the towers or from a shadowy area?"
    "That kind of thinking will get you killed."


    RingoGreenElvenshaedestroyah87Tox
  • Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    "Ever wonder why a small group of mortality questionable people are tasked with stopping the evils of the world when an army could do it?"
    "Ever see an army laughing when a dragon flies by?"
    ***********************
    "So about your sister..."
    "Say another word and I'll kill you and blame it on a rogue."

    RingoElvenshaedestroyah87
  • RingoRingo Stardust, Golden Caught in a Devil's BargainRegistered User regular
    "So you bailed?"
    "My brother was going to kill him. You're damn right I bailed."
    "That's too bad he's really cute."
    "I know. I'm just glad he made it out there alive."
    "But your brother saw you together, isn't he still pissed off?"
    "Nah. Blamed the whole incident on shapeshifters."
    "Ooooohhhhhhh."

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG now featured at the Exigency Forum
  • see317see317 Taco Count 2017: 61 Registered User regular
    "I swear to (insert setting appropriate deity), if I hear 'I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee.' outta you one more time, I'm gonna..."|

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    "You hear about that wandering band of serial killers?"
    'Yeah, that's fucked up. Those people need professional help.'

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

    FaranguRingoGreenOatsElvenshaeIron Weasel
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    "I hate watch duty- I need a new job."
    "You hate it? I'm only here because Laura called in sick!"
    "Pregnancy isn't calling in sick, Ben."
    "Babies are gross."

    Grunt's Ghosts
  • RingoRingo Stardust, Golden Caught in a Devil's BargainRegistered User regular
    "I see a little silhouetto of a man."
    "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?"
    "Thunderbolt and lightning!"
    "Very, very frightening!"
    JOINTLY: "ME!"
    ...awkward pause...
    "That fucking ghost."
    "How does it even possess two people at once?"
    "I have no idea. You have a lovely singing voice by the way."
    "Thanks man."

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG now featured at the Exigency Forum
    tzeentchlingEndless_SerpentsIron Weasel
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    "Did you hear the tavern's been having trouble with rats in their cellar?"
    "Rent it out to a dwarf, that'll solve the rat problem"
    "Would you trust a dwarf in a cellar full of ale?"
    "Good point."

    gCnfF8U.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    destroyah87
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    "Hey"
    'Please, no, not another one'
    "I heard the army's gonna be using trained pigs in battle"
    'OK...what?'
    "Yeah, my cousin at the docks said they just got a big shipment of warhammers"
    Silence

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

    "Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are smarter than one man. How's that again? I missed something" Lazarus Long

    ElvenshaeGrunt's Ghostsdestroyah87Tox
  • destroyah87destroyah87 Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    "Hey, can I practice my scroll-casting on you?"
    "... What? No! Not after the last time!"
    "Oh come on. Pleaseeeeee. I've got a test in the morning."
    "I said NO! Last time I couldn't walk straight for a week."

    destroyah87 on
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