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One of 3 people stole my money - who and what to do?

octaynoctayn Registered User new member
edited April 2016 in Help / Advice Forum

So I had 3 people over to my apartment an hour ago. One guy who I have been close friends with for the past 4 months (he's 28) and 2 girls (both are 20). I don't hang out with the girls all that much because they are not at my age level, but they are friends of a mutual female friend (27), so we do hang out once in a while.

Basically I had $90 in my wallet that I left on the kitchen table (small apartment) - four 20's and one 10. I put my wallet in my pocked when we left and now that I am back home I realized I only have $10 in my wallet. Someone must have stolen the other $80. These people are in a less stable financial situation than I am.

What should I do? How do I find out who took the money? It's not much but someone broke my trust.

octayn on


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    dispatch.odispatch.o Registered User regular
    You don't. You take it as getting a cheap lesson in what not to do around people you don't know. I don't know why you would have trusted them in the first place.

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    You can ask them, but you'll likely never get it back and piss them off along with the mutual friends.

    There's no proof you had that money before them, and once you left the apartment you could have lost it.

    All three were strangers. Don't leave your wallet with strangers.

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    LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Don't invite any of them over again.

    If you're close to that mutual friend (27), you might be able to get the 27 on your side to interrogate the 20's. I doubt much will come of it, but who knows. If I were you, I wouldn't really care what the 20's and the 28 thought because I'd be enacting a scorched earth policy with all 3 of them.

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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Getting back the $80 will be more hassle than it's worth

    What @Lilnoobs said

    You left your money alone with 3 people and now the money is gone.

    Cut them out (or at the very least the 20 year olds who you suspect more).

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    HeirHeir Ausitn, TXRegistered User regular
    First off, I'm sorry that happened. It's never fun when you get robbed, even if it's relatively minor. Especially in your home.

    At best if you were chatting with one of them you could mention that you can't find 80 bucks and you really needed it. No idea where you misplaced it or something.

    But yeah, not really worth the effort, might alienate them, and it's a little passive-aggressive. Chalk it up to a life lesson and move on.

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    Bliss 101Bliss 101 Registered User regular
    If you're going to confront them in any way, make sure you're absolutely positive that the money was in the wallet to begin with. I say this because many years ago I had the super-awkward experience of accusing a coworker of stealing cash from me, only to remember that I had in fact spent the money myself.

    Then again, I don't think anything good can come out of confronting them anyway. For your own peace of mind, tell yourself this: you're close friends with the guy, and not so close with the girls. So one of the girls would probably be more likely to steal from you, and you can probably keep trusting your friend and hanging out with him. No point in bringing this up at all, unless you need to explain to your friend why you don't want to invite the girls anymore.

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    BasarBasar IstanbulRegistered User regular
    I'd invite them over again some other time and leave my wallet out in the open. Then I'd use something like Manything with a spare smartphone to catch them in the act to be absolutely sure. I don't know, I like playing the detective. If you are not feeling so adventurous, chalk it up as a lesson learned.

    i live in a country with a batshit crazy president and no, english is not my first language

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    EclecticGrooveEclecticGroove Registered User regular
    I'm with lilnoobs. Or if you do, make sure to put your wallet away somewhere they would have to make a VERY obvious attempt to get to. Like in a drawer in your bedroom with the door closed.

    Unless you can think back and remember that only one of them was ever in the kitchen or something, you're basically not going to have any idea who did it. For all you know two, or even all three of them could have done it. Or you may have lost it when you were out (since you didn't say where you went, how long you were out, etc).

    Confronting them about it with what you have now (literally nothing, and you can't even guarantee it was stolen in your apartment), will almost certainly lead to bad feelings and not getting the money back.

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    KruiteKruite Registered User regular
    Yes, confronting them about it now would not be wise. You have no direct proof. If you are certain the money was in the wallet and not elsewhere, all you know is that one of them is probably a theif.

    Just keep that in mind whenever you are around them again.

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    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    Basar wrote: »
    I'd invite them over again some other time and leave my wallet out in the open. Then I'd use something like Manything with a spare smartphone to catch them in the act to be absolutely sure. I don't know, I like playing the detective. If you are not feeling so adventurous, chalk it up as a lesson learned.
    I tend to be wary about this sort of thing. For one, all it does is allow you to say I gotcha, and then what you caught him steeling the 20 or 40 bucks you put in your wallet again, if it was all of them the first time, then they will just point fingers at each other. This has a mess written all over it. I've been robbed and it sucks, and 80 bucks at certain times in my life was a lot of money. I would talk to the 28 year old guy about it, and ask him not to bring the girls over. I've seen men and women both do shady shit. If the dude was solid for 4 months and nothing in his life changed, then just ask him not to bring those women around.

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    dispatch.odispatch.o Registered User regular
    People willing to steal 80$ out of a wallet are willing to steal plenty of other things. Do not invite them over as some sort of sting operation. You got off cheap.

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    Reverend_ChaosReverend_Chaos Suit Up! Spokane WARegistered User regular
    Simple. You need 4 rolls of duct tape, a pair of pliers a ball peen hammer and a chair, preferably one you don't mind getting dirty.....

    Seriously though, even if you could find out which one it was, they aren't going to pay you back. Unless one of them was with your wallet by themselves, it means they were all in on it, and they will lie to protect one another. Cut them from your life, and don't go around trash talking them since you don't know who did it.

    “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro—I'm Broda!”
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