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WANTED: Impossible Skillset at Laughable Wage; Part-Time-Only [job] Thread

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Posts

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    University: Here is an email to apply for a job!
    Applies for job.
    Emailed person: This is the wrong email! Apply via this link!
    Applies via link.
    New person: I was told to expect your application, where is it? Its not on the website.
    siiiigh I bet he gave me the wrong link.

    Bright side: new person reached out about it, meaning you didn't just get silently lost in the shuffle. When it comes to the byzantine bureaucratic process of applying for jobs, I'd consider that a win.

    Its the one where I have a contact but its like, you want me to apply - let me apply! haha

    Have you had to deal with any of the online apps where you have to upload your resume/cv, then they take you to a web form where you have to fill out all the info from your resume/cv? Those are the worst

    Its similar to one of those, rather than a "just attach to an email your work" one so thats why its all silly!

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Some fuck nut won't turn off the volume on his phone. I forsee a great disturbance in the future.

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    There was a glitch in the system hooray they did get it!!! Shout out to @OmnipotentBagel for his positive words!

  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    The most tiring part of this whole application process is having to enter all of your information into a cumbersome set of forms that has a 25% chance of glitching out and losing all that you've entered.

    And what the ef is this when they say Chrome isn't supported?

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    University: Here is an email to apply for a job!
    Applies for job.
    Emailed person: This is the wrong email! Apply via this link!
    Applies via link.
    New person: I was told to expect your application, where is it? Its not on the website.
    siiiigh I bet he gave me the wrong link.

    Bright side: new person reached out about it, meaning you didn't just get silently lost in the shuffle. When it comes to the byzantine bureaucratic process of applying for jobs, I'd consider that a win.

    Its the one where I have a contact but its like, you want me to apply - let me apply! haha

    Have you had to deal with any of the online apps where you have to upload your resume/cv, then they take you to a web form where you have to fill out all the info from your resume/cv? Those are the worst

    And then I see this.

    I don't know if it's better/worse when you upload your resume and the system attempts to populate the form fields but does so in such a terrible way that it would be easier to do it from scratch.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    University: Here is an email to apply for a job!
    Applies for job.
    Emailed person: This is the wrong email! Apply via this link!
    Applies via link.
    New person: I was told to expect your application, where is it? Its not on the website.
    siiiigh I bet he gave me the wrong link.

    Bright side: new person reached out about it, meaning you didn't just get silently lost in the shuffle. When it comes to the byzantine bureaucratic process of applying for jobs, I'd consider that a win.

    Its the one where I have a contact but its like, you want me to apply - let me apply! haha

    Have you had to deal with any of the online apps where you have to upload your resume/cv, then they take you to a web form where you have to fill out all the info from your resume/cv? Those are the worst

    And then I see this.

    I don't know if it's better/worse when you upload your resume and the system attempts to populate the form fields but does so in such a terrible way that it would be easier to do it from scratch.

    My favorite are the plaintext forms where even if you copy and paste yourself you gotta spend a bunch of time reformatting everything. I think last time I was looking for work I ended up just creating a plaintext copy of my resume specifically for those forms.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    The baby duiker is barely eating and has become very shaky. I predict it won't last more than another day or two.

    This has been a trying few days.

    Does Pepto work on Duikers?

    I write you a story
    But it loses its thread
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    JebusUD wrote: »
    The baby duiker is barely eating and has become very shaky. I predict it won't last more than another day or two.

    This has been a trying few days.

    Does Pepto work on Duikers?

    I don't know about duikers, but you can't give pepto to cats because they have a hard time metabolizing it. It's rarely a good idea to give human medications to animals without first knowing how they react.

    But something like gatorade, to replace lost electrolytes and rehydrate, might be good.

    "If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    So someone on our networking team (we are still unsure who) thought it would be a good idea to delete the AD group that we put people in to give them the base level internet access here at HQ.

    So now a good 80% of the people here don't have internet access and are calling us on the phone in a panic so rather than the networking group fixing their fuckery, the helpdesk folks have to.

    It's a Monday-ass Tuesday so far.

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    This is quite unique to my field

    but when they ask you to upload a resume, cover letter and portfolio

    and the uploader only accepts .doc files

    confusion300.jpg

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Freedom!

  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    University: Here is an email to apply for a job!
    Applies for job.
    Emailed person: This is the wrong email! Apply via this link!
    Applies via link.
    New person: I was told to expect your application, where is it? Its not on the website.
    siiiigh I bet he gave me the wrong link.

    Bright side: new person reached out about it, meaning you didn't just get silently lost in the shuffle. When it comes to the byzantine bureaucratic process of applying for jobs, I'd consider that a win.

    When I applied for my current position (as internal applicant) my application literally disappeared. The system just accepted it, showed as having been submitted on my view of the careers site, but apparently didn't exist anywhere else.
    I called HR after waiting an appropriate number of days not hearing from the managers in that department and they were suitably confused, because they also showed that it happened, but couldn't find it anywhere. So I resubmitted and also emailed my potential future manager a copy of it, and it worked.

    steam_sig.png
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2016
    #pipe wrote: »
    This is quite unique to my field

    but when they ask you to upload a resume, cover letter and portfolio

    and the uploader only accepts .doc files

    confusion300.jpg

    How in the fuck are you supposed to upload a portfolio in .doc format? Did you just link them to your website?

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I can only assume you mean Google's skunkworks, and not the supplement company...
    #pipe wrote: »
    This is quite unique to my field

    but when they ask you to upload a resume, cover letter and portfolio

    and the uploader only accepts .doc files

    confusion300.jpg

    How in the fuck are you supposed to upload a portfolio in .doc format? Did you just link them to your website?

    You know how some people think the only way to send you screenshots in an email is to insert them into a Word document and attach it?

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    I can only assume you mean Google's skunkworks, and not the supplement company...
    #pipe wrote: »
    This is quite unique to my field

    but when they ask you to upload a resume, cover letter and portfolio

    and the uploader only accepts .doc files

    confusion300.jpg

    How in the fuck are you supposed to upload a portfolio in .doc format? Did you just link them to your website?

    You know how some people think the only way to send you screenshots in an email is to insert them into a Word document and attach it?

    "Jack, draw me like one of your French attachments and CC:Rhonda in HR."

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    The news was on at work

    Seaman Skoopy: Petty Officer Quid, what are you going to do if Hillary becomes president?
    Quid: Well Skoopy, if she becomes president, I think I'll continue to not talk politics at work.
    Seaman Skoopy: I... that's a good idea.

    FUCKIN' MOLDING THE MINDS OF THE FUTURE

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    edited June 2016
    Oxnard is not what I was expecting when I heard its about high cost of living.

    Well, time to interview.

    Madican on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited June 2016
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    Moriveth on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    I want it noted for the record that the heat and humidity in downtown Houston in late June can be likened unto The Devil's Taint. Don't ask me how I know, just be aware that I don't talk about all my ex-girlfriends.

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    Oxnard is not what I was expecting when I heard its about high cost of living.

    Well, time to interview.

    :bro:

  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    I want it noted for the record that the heat and humidity in downtown Houston in late June can be likened unto The Devil's Taint. Don't ask me how I know, just be aware that I don't talk about all my ex-girlfriends.

    I have heard Houston described as the armpit of Texas. Fortunately I don't think I've ever had occasion to be there any time other than late Fall.

    steam_sig.png
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    I want it noted for the record that the heat and humidity in downtown Houston in late June can be likened unto The Devil's Taint. Don't ask me how I know, just be aware that I don't talk about all my ex-girlfriends.

    I have heard Houston described as the armpit of Texas. Fortunately I don't think I've ever had occasion to be there any time other than late Fall.

    Spring is nice. And the armpit is actually further towards Louisiana, roundabouts Beaumont and Orange. I really can't get back to Dallas soon enough.

  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    She's selling paperclips and legal notepads on the black market today; tomorrow it'll be computers.

  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    She's selling paperclips and legal notepads on the black market today; tomorrow it'll be computers.

    She needs to up her game. Real grifters know that there's money to be made in stealing detergent.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • OatsOats Registered User regular
    Detergent is much easier to launder.

  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    it really lets you front a clean operation

  • FFFF Once Upon a Time In OaklandRegistered User regular
    Ugh. Hate writing cover letters. I feel like whenever I write them they're so sterile and terrible.

    For example, how do you write a cover letter for a non-creative job at a highly creative company?

    Blah.

    Huh...
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Oats wrote: »
    Detergent is much easier to launder.

    Sonova----
    Jars wrote: »
    it really lets you front a clean operation

    SONOVABITCH!

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    Eh I don't think she's trying to do anything sneaky, I think she literally refuses to sign because she doesn't think it's neccessary?

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    Eh I don't think she's trying to do anything sneaky, I think she literally refuses to sign because she doesn't think it's neccessary?

    Man, if we all got to decide what parts of our jobs were necessary, a lot less work would get done.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    There's a lot wrong with my current job, but the days where my bosses are playing Calvinball and dump on me because I don't know the new rules they just made up on the spot is a bit frustrating <said with tremendous restraint>

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
  • IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost Registered User regular
    Think I just got the best email I'll get this week.

    4da56gkivpwe.jpg

    This means there's a whole team of dad specialists at my company!

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    DoctorArch wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Here's a silly thing: Sending overnight fedex packages to an address up the street from here, that I could literally walk to and deliver in like fifteen minutes.

    I understand they want the tracking and official confirmation of delivery, but still.

    It's amazing how showing the tracking of a delivered package will shut down a customer yelling about a "lost" shipment. Especially when said customer was the one specifically to sign for it.

    We have a paralegal here who refuses to sign when we deliver packages to her. Her reasoning is "You already input it into your system, why do I have to sign for it?"

    We've tried to explain that by getting *her* to sign for it it means *she* received it, so we aren't liable if it goes missing. You'd think a paralegal would understand that sort of thing, plus it takes, like, three seconds to sign for something, but even then...

    There's something dodgy there...

    Eh I don't think she's trying to do anything sneaky, I think she literally refuses to sign because she doesn't think it's neccessary?

    Man, if we all got to decide what parts of our jobs were necessary, a lot less work would get done.

    Oh, I totally agree, especially given how braindead easy it is to fucking sign for something.

  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Think I just got the best email I'll get this week.

    4da56gkivpwe.jpg

    This means there's a whole team of dad specialists at my company!

    Hi DAD specialist, I'm Dad

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    Think I just got the best email I'll get this week.

    4da56gkivpwe.jpg

    This means there's a whole team of dad specialists at my company!

    Sounds like a job for @Keith

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    I want it noted for the record that the heat and humidity in downtown Houston in late June can be likened unto The Devil's Taint. Don't ask me how I know, just be aware that I don't talk about all my ex-girlfriends.

    I was just getting a report from my ex about weather conditions down there

  • DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    edited June 2016
    Well cool, got a phone call with the CEO of a company I applied to next week. The person setting up the interview, who interviewed me the first time, seemed pretty excited for it.

    Yay!

    DoctorArch on
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This discussion has been closed.