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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    At first I bought a lot of forever stamps, but stopped when no one returned them.

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    AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    Call me an old softie but...


    Well, I'd actually rather you call me a distinguished gentleman with a flagging erection

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    ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    Did you hear about the jailhouse rat who was really good at setting up home networks?

    Yeah, it's like they say, snitches get switches.

    ph blake on
    7h8wnycre6vs.png
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    ph blake wrote: »
    Did you hear about the jailhouse rat who was really good at setting up home networks?

    Yeah, it's like they say, snitches get switches.

    I must have heard about the other one, the one that went into embroidery after their sentence was up.

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    Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Or what about the embroiderers who are really good at quidditch?

    broken image link
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    What did Link say when Ganon kidnapped his fairy's father on Christmas?
    Release Navi's dad!

    BLM - ACAB
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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    What did Link say when Ganon kidnapped his fairy's father on Christmas?
    Release Navi's dad!

    Ganon was just looking for a friend! He saw an ad in the Hyrule Times for a male companion:
    For Lease: Navi's Dad

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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Navi's response to these jokes?
    HEY LISTEN

    ( seriously what did you think it was gonna be heh)

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    What did Link say when Ganon kidnapped his fairy's father on Christmas?
    HUT HUT HIYAAAAT! HAEYYT!

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    djmitchelladjmitchella Registered User regular
    I got a robocall the other day, claiming I'd been lucky:
    robocall wrote:
    Congratulations! You have won either $1000, or tickets to see Elvis! Choose your prize:

    Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show...

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    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    What did Link say when Ganon kidnapped his fairy's father on Christmas?
    Release Navi's dad!

    This is my new favorite joke that I will never be able to share with anyone in my life.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular

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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    pimento wrote: »

    Base-12 seems like it would be obnoxious though.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
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    PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    “You don’t control me! I’ll huff paint if I want to!” Tom fumed.

    Xbox - Last.fm - PSN
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    Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    What does a Vegetable do when it doesn't want to arouse suspicion?
    It acts non-cilantro

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    KupiKupi Registered User regular
    Stocks fall, everyone buys.

    My favorite musical instrument is the air-raid siren.
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    PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    Stocks fall, everyone buys.

    Only in fantasies.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2017
    So I'm going to a battle reenactment next week and my friend sent me a facebook message that said we needed to draw firelocks and gear.

    So I sent him this back.

    219xatf.png
    That's supposed to be a canteen and bayonet/scabbard. For the record.

    facetious on
    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    What do you call a bear with 8 arms?
    Octo-bear

    What do you call that bear 2 months later?
    Decem-bear

    Xbox - Last.fm - PSN
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    I was playing Ticket to Ride a few days ago, and when someone played a route to Duluth, I just started singing, "Duluth! Duluth! Duluth is on fire!"

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    "Hey driver, does this bus go to Duluth?"


    "No, it goes beep beep."

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Chinese takeout: $11.75
    20oz of your fave soda: $1.59
    Gas to get there: $2.00
    Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless.

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    That feeling that you aren't welcome at the library anymore...

    D8tI9Yb.jpg

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    TaminTamin Registered User regular
    Saw a sign today that said
    we put our grandmother on speed-dial

    it's called insta gram

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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    what’s a baseball player’s favorite dessert
    Bunt cake

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Yeah, but the Red Sox aren't allowed to have any. Because they'll probably choke.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    the Red Sox.

    They might be too much of a joke even for this thread :D

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    I am tolerant of the Red Sox as long as they are playing the Yankees.

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    PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular

    Xbox - Last.fm - PSN
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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Perrsun wrote: »

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    chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Poop jokes are not my favorite kinds of jokes.
    But they are a solid number two.

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    I never realized working in produce was such a religious experience.
    Every fifteen minutes or so: lettuce spray.

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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

    You can't tell me that's a coincidence!

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    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    What do you call a narcissistic crab?
    Pretty Shellfish.

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I play triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty simple - I just stand at the back and ting

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    LucedesLucedes might be real Registered User regular
    Perrsun wrote: »
    “You don’t control me! I’ll huff paint if I want to!” Tom fumed.

    "I'm going over Niagara Falls in a barrel!" said Tom incandescently.

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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Perrsun wrote: »
    “You don’t control me! I’ll huff paint if I want to!” Tom fumed.

    "I'm going over Niagara Falls in a barrel!" said Tom incandescently.

    Wow.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Perrsun wrote: »
    “You don’t control me! I’ll huff paint if I want to!” Tom fumed.

    "I'm going over Niagara Falls in a barrel!" said Tom incandescently.

    Wow.

    I don't get it.. :bigfrown: If he had gone over in a tube, but don't see the barrel connection.

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    SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    facetious wrote: »
    Lucedes wrote: »
    Perrsun wrote: »
    “You don’t control me! I’ll huff paint if I want to!” Tom fumed.

    "I'm going over Niagara Falls in a barrel!" said Tom incandescently.

    Wow.

    I don't get it.. :bigfrown: If he had gone over in a tube, but don't see the barrel connection.

    The barrel is the "can". In Can Descently (falling)

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited January 2018
    Ah, nice.

    MichaelLC on
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Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++