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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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Posts

  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    A man walks into a resort and the first sign he saw reads, “LOOL AREA!!”

    He was confused and asks one of the employees about it.

    “Yes, we have this tradition here, we replace the first ‘P’ of any word that starts with P with an ‘L’ because the owner hates the words that starts with letter ‘P’."

    The man thought this was strange, but as long as there were no other rules, he’d be fine. The man toured the resort and eventually came upon the cafeteria.

    There was a sign which read, “Serving Lierogies and Lork tonight.”

    Thinking about the food made the man hungry, so he went around looking for food. Strangely, in cafetaria he only found two signs that read; line for breakfast and line for dinner, both of which were closed since it was 12:30 PM.

    Confused and hungry, the man approached the employee and asked, “Where’s the lunchline?”

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Go directly to jail, do not pass "GO", do not collect $200.

    ElvenshaeInvectivusMild Confusion
  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    A weasel walks into the bar.

    The bartender turns to the weasel and says “Wow, I never served a weasel before! What’ll you have?”

    “Pop”, goes the weasel.

    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
    kimeGoose!RingoImperfectToxvalhalla130davidsdurionsH3KnucklesAnialosironsizidePolaritieHeadCreepssarukunSporkAndrewProlegomenaJoolandervagrant_windsdarunia106TonkkaKruiteCurly_BraceMild ConfusionHappy Little Machine
  • darunia106darunia106 J-bob in games Death MountainRegistered User regular
    So my dad got fitted for a new suit for my sister's wedding. And he happened to get it on his birthday.

    So he's been telling everyone he can that he's going to his daughter's wedding in his birthday suit.

    MYtio8V.jpg
    valhalla130PolaritieToxAnialosRingochromdomTynnantzeentchlingdavidsdurionsjoshofalltradesMichaelLCsarukunknitdanhonovereH3KnucklesironsizideJoolanderGoose!LucedesSlacker71JansonTonkkaKruiteMrGrimoirekimeElvenshaeMild ConfusionHappy Little Machine
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    Booooo

    ...

    BOOOOO!

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
    chrishallett83RingoironsizideMichaelLCInvectivusKruitekimeElvenshae
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    Shut up, it’s perfect.

    HeadCreepsBedlamchromdomMild Confusion
  • AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    what kind of dog did Han Solo have as a child?
    A chewiehua

    OS7cMrU.gifmCdVpud.gifrUjW0QU.gifpAvatar_8513.gif
    Elvenshae
  • RingoRingo Out of things to say Heartbreak HillRegistered User regular
    Atheraal wrote: »
    what kind of dog did Han Solo have as a child?
    A chewiehua

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Atheraal wrote: »
    what kind of dog did Han Solo have as a child?
    A chewiehua

    No

    It was a husky named after a state.

    H3Knuckles
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Massachewsetts?

    Eh, North Chewbacca?

    This post was sponsored by LG.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    Atheraal wrote: »
    what kind of dog did Han Solo have as a child?
    A chewiehua

    No

    It was a husky named after a state.

    Indiana.

    Mugsley wrote:
    So now I need to get it trimmed and adjusted, and all in.

    Steam:MichaelLC
    sarukunCapt Howdy
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    Atheraal wrote: »
    what kind of dog did Han Solo have as a child?
    A chewiehua

    No

    It was a husky named after a state.

    Indiana.

    Yeah, but that falls into the issue of jokes aren't funny if you have to explain them

    Steam: Polaritie
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    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
    H3Knuckles
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    We named the dog Han.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
    UrielRingoH3KnucklessarukunKruiteSporkAndrewElvenshaeSlacker71Mild Confusion
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    I think the joke works better with an extra "hua" at the end.

    As it is, it sounds like "choo-WEE-wah". I think making it chewie-wah-wah scans better, even with the extra syllable.

    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
    valhalla130
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    What's the difference between roast potatoes and pea soup?
    Anyone can roast potatoes.

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN
    darunia106H3KnucklesRhesus PositiveRingoGoose!sarukunJansonknitdanHeadCreepstzeentchlingElvenshaeSlacker71LucedesMild Confusion
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    aa3sfce.jpg

    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
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  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    you know, i feel like since no one died, and the rose windows and like almost all the art and the altar and stuff largely survived...

    i'm gonna say it's totally cool to fuckin dunk on notre dame like this was an NCAA tournament, babeeyyyyyyyy let's get that old church!

    ToxBionicPenguinSlacker71MrMonroe
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    They still don’t know for sure what caused the fire

    Although one guy who works there has a hunch

    JedocMichaelLCToxMetzger MeisterironsizidekimejoshofalltradesElvenshaeH3KnucklesSlacker71McFodderSporkAndrewMild ConfusionsarukunPolaritieLucedesHappy Little Machinehonovere
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    They still don’t know for sure what caused the fire

    Although one guy who works there has a hunch

    When asked if he'd seen anyone unusual, he was heard to say "that does ring a bell, yes."

    Rhesus PositiveJansonElvenshaeH3KnucklesSlacker71Toxsarukundarunia106PolaritieHappy Little Machine
  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    edited April 23
    One of the less savory tasks the Hunchback has to do is empty the chamber pots. The thing is, he kept missing where to dump them and just made more of a mess for himself.

    He had no-turd-aim.

    Mild Confusion on
    steam_sig.png

    Battlenet ID: MildC#11186 - If I'm in the game, send me an invite at anytime and I'll play.
    Metzger MeisterRhesus Positive
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    byFQx4al.jpg

    vxsHp3F.gif
    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Traditionally, the 4th wedding anniversary is flowers

    This is what Mrs Rhesus got me for ours:
    nsztmfic9bmt.jpg

    McFodderH3KnucklesSporkAndrewknitdanGoose!Toxdarunia106chromdomvalhalla130joshofalltradesBionicPenguintzeentchlingSirToastyAnialosSlacker71ironsizideJansonKaplarCapt HowdyPolaritieTynnandjmitchellaElvenshaeMild ConfusionkimesarukunHappy Little MachinePlaty
  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Oh no you married your soulmate how terrible

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
    Rhesus PositivepimentoJoolanderToxdarunia106PerrsunAngelHedgietzeentchlingSirToastyAnialosdavidsdurionsSlacker71ironsizideKaplarH3KnucklesPolaritieTynnanLucedesElvenshaeMild ConfusionsarukunHappy Little MachineDisruptedCapitalist
  • KaplarKaplar Registered User regular
    What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce?
    A chicken sees a salad.

    JansonH3KnucklesJedocPolaritieRhesus PositiveSporkAndrewElvenshaekimesarukunHappy Little MachinePlaty
  • JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Stolen from inside an easter egg last night-
    What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
    ToxH3KnucklesCapt HowdyPolaritieTynnanBionicPenguinSporkAndrewtzeentchlingdjmitchellaElvenshaeSlacker71kimesarukunHeadCreepsHappy Little MachinePlaty
  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    edited May 2
    They still don’t know for sure what caused the fire

    Although one guy who works there has a hunch

    I would like you to know that I just texted this joke to somebody at 1 AM because I forgot they were currently in Scotland.

    Thanks, Bad Joke Thread.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
    JansonElvenshaeMichaelLCSporkAndrewIvarknitdanHappy Little MachineRhesus PositivesarukunSlacker71Mild Confusion
  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    edited May 2
    Never mind. She just texted back asking "O rly? What's that hunch?"

    Everything is forgiven, Bad Joke Thread. That was perfect.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
    sarukunElvenshaeAngelHedgieSporkAndrewIvarEl SkiddjmitchellachromdomknitdanTynnanJansonHappy Little MachinekimetzeentchlingPolaritieRhesus PositivePlatySlacker71Mild Confusion
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
    BionicPenguinironsizideElvenshaeGoose!Happy Little Machinekimedarunia106ToxPolaritieRhesus PositiveJoolanderPlatysarukunSlacker71Mild Confusion
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Never mind. She just texted back asking "O rly? What's that hunch?"

    Everything is forgiven, Bad Joke Thread. That was perfect.

    You could tell her, but it probably wouldn't ring any bells...

    ElvenshaeRhesus PositivesarukunSlacker71Andy Joe
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Never mind. She just texted back asking "O rly? What's that hunch?"

    Everything is forgiven, Bad Joke Thread. That was perfect.

    You could tell her, but it probably wouldn't ring any bells...

    He's a dead ringer for that guy they used to have.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    knitdanchrishallett83Elvenshaesarukun
  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Never mind. She just texted back asking "O rly? What's that hunch?"

    Everything is forgiven, Bad Joke Thread. That was perfect.

    You could tell her, but it probably wouldn't ring any bells...

    He's a dead ringer for that guy they used to have.

    I dunno,,,he only sort of looked like the other guy. He was a quasi-dead ringer.

    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Never mind. She just texted back asking "O rly? What's that hunch?"

    Everything is forgiven, Bad Joke Thread. That was perfect.

    You could tell her, but it probably wouldn't ring any bells...

    He's a dead ringer for that guy they used to have.

    I dunno,,,he only sort of looked like the other guy. He was a quasi-dead ringer.

    Yeah, he was an actor in a bunch of commercials and the spokesman for Orange Communications in those HELLO MODO ads.

    Mugsley wrote:
    So now I need to get it trimmed and adjusted, and all in.

    Steam:MichaelLC
    tzeentchling
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    People who are into that new alkaline fad diet are so basic.

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    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Why was one fifth so stressed out?

    He was two tenths!

    davidsdurionsH3KnucklesDisruptedCapitalistkime
  • AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    Many people don't know, the Titanic was carrying a massive shipment of mayonnaise to its next port in Mexico. Well, we all know what happened.. The Mexican people went without that shipment, and mourned it with a national holiday. Sinko de Mayo

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  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Why were Mark and Shania born in different centuries?
    Because never the Twain shall meet.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    No else has ever been named Twain :rotate:

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