The Even Worse Joke Thread

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  • jungleroomxjungleroomx El Hopaness Rom Tic Registered User regular
    edited February 14
    This weekend's pun goes out to Arch and BugBoy -
    I hate insect puns, they really bug me.

    People who get etymology and entomology mixed up bug me in ways I can't put into words.

    Edit: batsignals removed

    jungleroomx on
    Make. Time.
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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    So, a quick catch up from yesterday:
    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    This one reminds me of one of the few jokes I can actually remember off the top of my head.

    "I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts. Which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right."

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  • destroyah87destroyah87 Registered User regular
    So, a quick catch up from yesterday:
    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    This one reminds me of one of the few jokes I can actually remember off the top of my head.

    "I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts. Which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right."

    Do you suspect sinister motives?
    which is my go to retort of any handness joke. :biggrin:

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    That reminds me of one of my favorite words that nobody has heard.

    Ambisinister. It's a real word.

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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
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  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
    My wife was only slightly amused by a couple of those lawyer pickup lines. Success!

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  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning Registered User regular
    Just came up with this series of horrible puns, including a hidden triple-decker. I hope it lightens your souls.

    Before he got into the evil sorcerer/fight promoter game, Shang Tsung had other jobs. First he was a shoemaker, but that wasn't a good fit. Then he was a fishmonger, but the business was soon underwater. But the worst he ever bombed was as the ambassador from North Korea to South Korea.

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    So, a quick catch up from yesterday:
    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    This one reminds me of one of the few jokes I can actually remember off the top of my head.

    "I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts. Which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right."

    Do you suspect sinister motives?
    which is my go to retort of any handness joke. :biggrin:

    This left me speechless.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today's entry is about pride in one's work:
    As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans.

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  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    Are they allowed to do multi-puns? That seems unnecessary.

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    Kruitevagrant_windsMichaelLC
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    And hubristic

    It's only February

    ElvenshaeThe Escape Goat
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    That reminds me of one of my favorite words that nobody has heard.

    Ambisinister. It's a real word.

    It's such a great word, because it's the opposite of ambidextrous (e.g., "two right [and therefore strong and capable] hands"). The idea still exists in modern English in the idiom "two left feet," we just don't apply it much to hands anymore.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    And catchup has us rolling:
    Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today's entry is a bit sleepy:
    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

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  • jungleroomxjungleroomx El Hopaness Rom Tic Registered User regular
    I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

    I'm livid.

    Make. Time.
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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Today's entry is a bit sleepy:
    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

    a corduroy pillow sounds fucking awful

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  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    Ferrous Bueller's Day Off - like the original, but more ironic

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  • BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    The following pun will probably only land well with anyone with knowledge of towns in Norfolk, England:

    About to leave work, and we're commenting on the weather, and the fact that someone earlier mentioned the forecast was that it would be snowing an hour after we left. A quick check on the internet, and it instead says hail showers for the next 3 hours. We all look out the window, to see clear skies.

    I turn to the others and say, "Nah, it's fake news. Unless it's a few miles away. Then it's Fakenham news."

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today's entry is a porker:
    Pig puns are really boaring.

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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited February 20
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Bedlam on


    Elvenshae
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I was at a business dinner once and a co-worker brought up that her husband worked in a place that made industrial drills and I said that must be really boring and nobody got it.

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  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Let's snout do this again.

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  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Let's snout do this again.

    Yeah, we'll just make a pig's ear of it.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Let's snout do this again.

    Yeah, we'll just make a pig's ear of it.

    It's just casting pearls before swine.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
    Bedlam
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Let's snout do this again.

    Yeah, we'll just make a pig's ear of it.

    It's just casting pearls before swine.

    I'm bacon out of this thread until the pork puns subside.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    valhalla130
  • chromdomchromdom Why do bad things keep happening to me? Oh yeah, because of the things I've done.Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Pig puns are really boaring.
    Dont try and hog em all.

    Let's snout do this again.

    Yeah, we'll just make a pig's ear of it.

    It's just casting pearls before swine.

    I'm bacon out of this thread until the pork buns subside.

    Elvenshaesee317
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    9TVkkU0.jpg



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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Good morning, here's today's entry:
    Waking up in the morning is an eye-opening experience.

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  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    One time as a kid I had poison ivy so bad that my eyes got swollen shut overnight without my realizing

    Now that was an eye opening experience (about how bad my poison ivy allergy had gotten)

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    9TVkkU0.jpg

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    This weekend's entry is toothy:
    Does my brand new smile denture ego?

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  • PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    If anybody is having computer issues, I suggest finding a meteorologist.

    They can backup everything to the cloud.

    - Fixed a bug where the Moon was upside down.
    - Fixed a weird door.
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today's entry goes Down Under:
    Things made in Australia are high koalaty.

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Wow ten months to go

    pimento
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Wow ten months to go

    Misery loves company.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    I’m surprised they’re bringing out those big guns so early!

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Today's entry goes Down Under:
    Things made in Australia are high koalaty.

    I can't help but feel like this would have made a better weed joke.
    High Koalaty weed.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Today's entry is off to the races:
    The race car driver had a pretty checkered past...

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    BedlamElvenshaesarukun
  • BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    Another pun from the lab:

    A member of the technical support team had been asking a supplier about whether X chemical is the same as Y chemical, given that one is apparently a rebranded version of the other. The supplier responded with "Yeah, but no," which is not exactly helpful. Given the paradoxical answer, I compared it to a certain well-known term.

    It wasn't until a few seconds after the laughs started that I realized I'd said "Schrödinger's Cat-alyst."

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  • KupiKupi Registered User regular
    Boat sinkings are spicy.

    They're full of capsizin'.

    My favorite musical instrument is the air-raid siren.
    Elvenshae
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