The Even Worse Joke Thread

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    D'you think those tend to be family operations, or do lawyers seek out similar surnames for comedy's sake?

    If Better Call Saul is any indication, family operations.
    And why would Saul lie? Aside from the dozens of reasons presented in the series, I mean.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    RingoRhesus Positive
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    D'you think those tend to be family operations, or do lawyers seek out similar surnames for comedy's sake?

    4xEggers is 100% family. One of the dorms on campus is also Eggers Hall.

  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    I don't know who stole my Microsoft Office license, but whoever you are, I will find you, and I will make you pay.

    You have my Word.

    BattleTech KS Thread! | Mech Trade List | Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    edited January 7
    Tox wrote: »
    I don't know who stole my Microsoft Office license, but whoever you are, I will find you, and I will make you pay.

    You have my Word.

    And my Exce(l).

    pimento on
    Rhesus PositiveMichaelLCkimedavidsdurionsElvenshaeTynnansarukunJoolanderThe Escape GoatKruite
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I ate a load of French mushrooms when I woke up today

    Breakfast of champignons
    This assumes that 'breakfast of champions' is a phrase that exists in the real world and isn't just something my friends and I say to reach other when we have a breakfast consisting of, for example, a Pot Noodle and a biscuit

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    Ark EvensongRingoDessertedkimetzeentchlingH3KnucklessarukunThe Escape Goat
  • Ark EvensongArk Evensong The NetherlandsRegistered User regular
    Oh good, perhaps that means I'm not the only one who occasionally corrupts Queen's We Are the Champions into Nous Sommes les Mushrooms.

    Rhesus PositiveRingotzeentchlingH3Knucklessarukun
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Well, now you're not

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    RingoArk EvensongH3Knucklessarukun
  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Breakfast of champions is definitely a phrase. I think it's pretty much only used in your sense now, as sarcasm or irony, but it started out as some American breakfast brand's slogan, or was at least used in earnest by a company, but might have existed as a phrase before that.

    It's also a Vonnegut book (in which it is also used sarcastically)!

    This post was sponsored by Goop.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
    pimentoRingoH3KnucklesThe Escape Goat
  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    It was the tagline of Wheaties breakfast cereal for a long time, and it used to be a big deal for an American athlete to get their face on a Wheaties box.

    It was like getting a Sports Illustrated cover, for those of you old enough to remember print magazines being a thing.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Oh yeah, Wheaties

    It's weird how stuff just gets absorbed by the collective consciousness

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Grislo wrote: »
    Breakfast of champions is definitely a phrase. I think it's pretty much only used in your sense now, as sarcasm or irony, but it started out as some American breakfast brand's slogan, or was at least used in earnest by a company, but might have existed as a phrase before that.

    It's also a Vonnegut book (in which it is also used sarcastically)!

    yeah in the book a waitress would say it sarcastically when giving a customer a martini, so its original ironic use was specifically referring to basically having a drink in place of a meal (could be at actual breakfast but doesn't have to be)

    which eventually just became a more general 'look at this shit i'm putting in my body, i am an olympic athlete motherfucker'

    Rhesus PositiveGrisloH3Knuckles
  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    It was the tagline of Wheaties breakfast cereal for a long time, and it used to be a big deal for an American athlete to get their face on a Wheaties box.

    It was like getting a Sports Illustrated cover, for those of you old enough to remember print magazines being a thing.

    Well now we know you're just messing with us, 'cause they only released one magazine a year and it always had ladies in swimsuits on it.

    H3KnucklesSirToasty
  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    Aparrently my wife's grandfather ate Wheaties and a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast his whole life.

    steam_sig.png
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    The famous law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

    Don't forget that the head legal counsel is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known to the post-doctoral snow plow drivers in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey.

    BLM - ACAB
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  • RingoRingo He/Him Bury me at Lone Tree DenRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    It was the tagline of Wheaties breakfast cereal for a long time, and it used to be a big deal for an American athlete to get their face on a Wheaties box.

    It was like getting a Sports Illustrated cover, for those of you old enough to remember print magazines being a thing.

    Unlike Sports Illustrated, getting your face on a Wheaties box wasn't cursed

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • valhalla130valhalla130 13 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    The famous law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

    Don't forget that the head legal counsel is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known to the post-doctoral snow plow drivers in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey.

    Thank you, Click and Clack.

    davidsdurionsTynnanRingopimento
  • destroyah87destroyah87 Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    The famous law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

    No joke, there's a "Swindle Law Firm" in my local area. Used to have an office at the end of my parent's street. I chuckled every time.

    steam_sig.png
    H3Knuckles
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist screaming Registered User regular
    Bob Loblaw, attorney at law

    Rhesus Positive
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    Despite the idea of Wheaties being generally bad, they are actually pretty tasty. Nowhere close to regular Cheerios though. GOAT cereal right there.

  • TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    edited January 8
    The Geek wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    The famous law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

    Don't forget that the head legal counsel is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known to the post-doctoral snow plow drivers in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey.

    Thank you, Click and Clack.

    "My government vehicle shakes at 17,500 mph"

    Tynnan on
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  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    SirToasty wrote: »
    Despite the idea of Wheaties being generally bad, they are actually pretty tasty. Nowhere close to regular Cheerios though. GOAT cereal right there.

    My favorite has generally been just straight bran flakes. Not raisin bran, the raisins ruin it. Especially with all the sugar on them.

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited January 8
    Regular Cheerios is a flavor so deeply programmed that if you served it to me I might immediately revert to a baby right there in front of you, like watching Benjamin Button on fast forward.

    sarukun on
    tzeentchlingSirToastyElvenshaeDisruptedCapitalistThe Escape Goat
  • RingoRingo He/Him Bury me at Lone Tree DenRegistered User regular
    Regular Cheerios are a betrayal of all that is good and Honey Nut

    Kix, on the other hand, I have stolen from a baby and feel no remorse. Kix is love

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Honey Nut Cheerios is very good but regular Cheerios is what Neutral tastes like.

    SirToastykimeBionicPenguintzeentchling
  • RingoRingo He/Him Bury me at Lone Tree DenRegistered User regular
    ZappBranniganFace.jpg

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
    sarukun
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    Kix is pretty good but Berry Berry Kix is a full step above them.

    H3Knuckles
  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    Healthy cereals I like:
    • Cheerios
    • Corn Flakes

    Borderline cereals I like:
    • Berry Berry Kix
    • Honey Nut Cheerios
    • Raisin Bran

    Junk cereals I like:
    • Captain Crunch
    • Cinnamon Toast Crunch
    • Froot Loops <-favorite
    • Frosted Flakes
    • Lucky Charms

    That's pretty much my top ten. Honorable mentions go to Frosted Mini-Wheats & Frosted Cheerios. Oddly, I've never had Wheaties. Nor any of the Count Chocula/Franken Berry/Boo Berry product line.

    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
    camo_sig2-400.png
    kime
  • RingoRingo He/Him Bury me at Lone Tree DenRegistered User regular
    Berry Berry Kix feels wrong to me

    It's like mixing Kix with Trix and silly rabbit, that's profane

    (It is good though. Man I miss Trix. And Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And Reese's Puffs. And not having Type 2 Diabetes...)

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • valhalla130valhalla130 13 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered User regular
    Tynnan wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    The famous law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe

    Don't forget that the head legal counsel is Hugh Lewis Dewey, known to the post-doctoral snow plow drivers in Harvard Square as Huey Louie Dewey.

    Thank you, Click and Clack.

    "My government vehicle shakes at 17,500 mph"


    I miss them so much.

    pimentoRingotzeentchlingDisruptedCapitalistTynnanThe Escape Goatironsizide
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Jordan Country Crisp with raspberry is top tier cereal - I had to buy smaller bowls so that I wouldn't eat a quarter of a box in one sitting

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
    H3Knuckles
  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    SirToasty wrote: »
    Kix is pretty good but Berry Berry Kix is a full step above them.

    Berry Kix definitely caught my wife's attention. She's burned through a ton of it the last couple months, after not really touching cereal much in years.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Ringo wrote: »
    ZappBranniganFace.jpg

    Ahem

    BLM - ACAB
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    o8qi1OA.jpeg



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  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular
    Oh, okay, I was wondering what that poster was advertising.

    p9wcsxlaamz6.png

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    H3Knuckles wrote: »
    Aw, boo, the image was removed.
    Ha! Found it!

    kHY6fn4.jpg



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  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    Ahh, the first hokatge

    H3KnucklesBedlam
  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    edited January 11
    @Bedlam Hah, that's awesome. Thanks for going to the trouble of digging that up.

    H3Knuckles on
    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
    camo_sig2-400.png
    Bedlam
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Oh, okay, I was wondering what that poster was advertising.

    p9wcsxlaamz6.png

    I think what this really needs is a pencil hole pushed through the back.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    kxBTgvn.jpeg



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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    what do you call it when a psychic does some illegal things?

    scrymes

    H3KnucklesElvenshaeSporkAndrewsarukunJedoc
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