So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.
Hello <x>,
My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.
Hope to hear back from you,
<Y>
Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..
Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.
But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."
Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"
A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.
The, like, two times I've messaged someone, I tried to make my greeting specifically involve something from their profile. If nothing else it proves I'm not just shotgunning messages and tries to establish a common point of discussion.
Spoilered because of mental illness stuff (not mine), and not really love related.
I think I've posted before about the guy I've had to report to the police because of the weedkiller on bread thing. He's suffering from schizophrenia probably, he's paranoid and hearing bad messages constantly. He's also desperate for sex, and very open about this. Well after I reported him to the police a couple of weeks ago, they visited him and have made him go to the doctor or he'll be arrested/sectioned. He recorded that visit to the doctor, and I'm currently listening to it. I'm currently at a community mental health placement that deals with schizophrenia mainly, and this video is the scariest thing I've dealt with. I guess mostly I've seen people who are stable and have dealt with their condition for a long time, this guy is non compliant with his medication so the voices are in control. They talk about him being reported and god I'm so glad he doesn't know it's been me both times.
I have an oreo ice cream stick to eat! I hope it survived last night!
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Sir FabulousMalevolent Squid GodRegistered Userregular
Send photos of the whiskey instead imo.
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
+1
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Here we go, here are the five most recent first OkC messages that got responses for me:
- What's your favorite indie horror film?
- What sort of working with cats and dogs do you do? I'm assuming we're talking literal cats and dogs here, which may be folly on my part.
- Hi, I'm Greg. What sort of carpentry do you do? Is it like, houses, or something else? I wouldn't think there's a lot of call for ship carpenters in the Midwest (or probably the twenty first century), but I'm also pretty sure I don't know a whole lot about carpentry in general.
- Hey there. What is your preferred whiskey for imbibing? Also what is your favorite for sterilizing wounds?
- Out of curiosity, why prison psychology? What differentiates that from a more traditional psychological practice for you?
In case it's not immediately obvious, those are all based off of things on their profiles. There's a pretty distinct spread there for like, how long my first messages usually are (they occasionally go a little bit longer, but that's pretty much it). I also don't talk about myself much - that will come, don't worry. Let them ask you questions and determine their priority of what they want to know. This is also useful for you, for the record - if the first thing someone talks to you about is your job, or your favorite book, or whatever, then you have an idea of where their priorities lie.
+8
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.
Hello <x>,
My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.
Hope to hear back from you,
<Y>
Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..
This is formal as heck man
I think you should probably cut the bolded stuff because on a dating site those things will either be readily apparent in your profile or not matter until you've talked a bit first
Then I'd probably reword a lot of the rest to make it sound less stiff/formal? Like, you don't need to say you read her profile because you'll show it by talking about the things you read that you found interesting ("oh you're from [wherever]? I love visiting there!" or something) and instead of saying that you have things in common and listing them just talk about them ("I love volleyball too but I haven't played in forever, is there a good place to play in the area?")
There's nothing really wrong with a basic formula for sending a message but what you have here is bordering on a dating application rather than a friendly hello, I think it would be better if it was a little looser
Kwoaru on
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
That's OkCupid, of course. I'm actually much more active on Tinder these days, and those messages have some distinct differences in terms of style - there are way less jumping off points, and the medium as a whole is much better for short conversations. I can do those too if anyone's interested though, I ain't got nothin' to hide.
So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.
Hello <x>,
My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.
Hope to hear back from you,
<Y>
Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..
Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.
But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."
Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"
A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.
agree! casual and something indicating you actually read the profile (or skimmed most of it, at least) is good. I might be a weirdo but I didn't love it when people messaging me mentioned how I look - I assume since they're messaging me they find me attractive enough.
Well, you run into a lot of profiles that specifically say 'dont just say 'hey' and expect me to respond', and you have others that sound like they only created the profile because someones got a shotgun to there head and the idea of sending an introduction should be to try and introduce yourself as a sane and reasonable person, trying not to sound like someone looking for a hookup, and at that point I would think casual comes after the initial meeting.
Whats wrong with being formal and showing respect when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe suave people can act casual, or treat someone you have an interest in as someone you already know on a 'first date' but I find that kind of attitude rather on the douchebag side of things. I feel like its immediately showing disrespect to someone you want to know about.
Obviously I'm doing something wrong so im listening, but i suck at this in person, (meeting people for the first time), so sucking at it online isnt surprising.
Stercus, Stercus, Stercus, Morituri Sum
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.
Hello <x>,
My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.
Hope to hear back from you,
<Y>
Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..
Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.
But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."
Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"
A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.
agree! casual and something indicating you actually read the profile (or skimmed most of it, at least) is good. I might be a weirdo but I didn't love it when people messaging me mentioned how I look - I assume since they're messaging me they find me attractive enough.
Yeah, I'd agree that that's something to avoid.
Listen, whoever you're messaging? They know you find them attractive (at least in your photos). They know that you find them interesting (at least conceptually). Don't say that they're either of those things. If there's something specifically interesting or attractive about them, talk about that. Tell them you love their earrings or their haircut! Tell them that you're very interested in the same things, ask questions, that sort of thing.
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Well, you run into a lot of profiles that specifically say 'dont just say 'hey' and expect me to respond', and you have others that sound like they only created the profile because someones got a shotgun to there head and the idea of sending an introduction should be to try and introduce yourself as a sane and reasonable person, trying not to sound like someone looking for a hookup, and at that point I would think casual comes after the initial meeting.
Whats wrong with being formal and showing respect when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe suave people can act casual, or treat someone you have an interest in as someone you already know on a 'first date' but I find that kind of attitude rather on the douchebag side of things. I feel like its immediately showing disrespect to someone you want to know about.
Obviously I'm doing something wrong so im listening, but i suck at this in person, (meeting people for the first time), so sucking at it online isnt surprising.
See, the way your message is structured
It's pretty much the same thing as just saying 'hey' and expecting them to respond
The request there isn't to not have short and informal messages
It's to not send the same message that you just sent to ten other girls
Just to be clear I was being very deliberately generic as a phrasing template, you want to mention specific things you have in common and i have found success complimenting something about them you honestly noticed!
But a casual approach is infinitely better than an application form.
Spoilered because of mental illness stuff (not mine), and not really love related.
I think I've posted before about the guy I've had to report to the police because of the weedkiller on bread thing. He's suffering from schizophrenia probably, he's paranoid and hearing bad messages constantly. He's also desperate for sex, and very open about this. Well after I reported him to the police a couple of weeks ago, they visited him and have made him go to the doctor or he'll be arrested/sectioned. He recorded that visit to the doctor, and I'm currently listening to it. I'm currently at a community mental health placement that deals with schizophrenia mainly, and this video is the scariest thing I've dealt with. I guess mostly I've seen people who are stable and have dealt with their condition for a long time, this guy is non compliant with his medication so the voices are in control. They talk about him being reported and god I'm so glad he doesn't know it's been me both times.
I have an oreo ice cream stick to eat! I hope it survived last night!
You did good Ange, and I think in the long run it's the right thing for that guy to get the help he needs
Women on dating sites get a lot of messages and end up doing a bit of a mental filter to try and sort out which, if any, are worth actually considering
If your message reads like a cover letter you're copy-pasting to a lot of the women on the site and just swapping sentences, it's both inorganic and pretty easy to spot. Regardless of how "respectful" you think you're trying to be, when it comes down to it you...kind of aren't, if you're treating the person you're writing to like they're no different than a company you've Googled and are trying to apply for
I am far, far more likely to respond to something like Straightzi's message style. If you want to include a sentence or two about how you relate to a thing the woman likes before asking a question about something unique about her you're actually interested in, then that's even better, to me.
Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:
Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.
This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.
Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:
Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.
This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.
Well, anyone who says "You should smile more" deserves a beatdown. Ugh.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
I don't dig physical compliments at all.
Because I know you're all just doing that so I'll let my guard down. And if I let my guard down, HYDRA will worm its way in!
Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:
Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.
This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.
Well, anyone who says "You should smile more" deserves a beatdown. Ugh.
I was talking to a Paralegal in the office today. She told me an attorney, who is younger than her, told her to smile more.
She asked him if she would tell a man that. He said no. She responded with then what makes you think it's appropriate.
She reported him.
I stopped what I was doing, when to her floor and shook her hand (I would have high-fived her, but her back hurt).
So yesterday I found myself in the weird position of having to use a direct term of endearment for my grandmother-in-law for the first time in the 5 years that I've been married.
So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.
Hello <x>,
My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.
Hope to hear back from you,
<Y>
Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..
Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.
But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."
Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"
A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.
The, like, two times I've messaged someone, I tried to make my greeting specifically involve something from their profile. If nothing else it proves I'm not just shotgunning messages and tries to establish a common point of discussion.
fwiw the two people I went on dates with last time I was doing the online thing were the two people who sent me something that related to my profile that wasn't just "But are you sure you don't want a threesome??"
What about whisky and shooting/shouting at angry demons?
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BillyIdleWhat does "katana" mean?It means "Japanese sword."Registered Userregular
I may have a coffee date tomorrow with someone who is back home from school for the summer. Kinda surprised that I didn't flub up on bumble, and that someone is down to meet up.
Posts
The, like, two times I've messaged someone, I tried to make my greeting specifically involve something from their profile. If nothing else it proves I'm not just shotgunning messages and tries to establish a common point of discussion.
Do i start drinking whiskey and send photos of my nipples to my girlfriend?
I have an oreo ice cream stick to eat! I hope it survived last night!
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
- What sort of working with cats and dogs do you do? I'm assuming we're talking literal cats and dogs here, which may be folly on my part.
- Hi, I'm Greg. What sort of carpentry do you do? Is it like, houses, or something else? I wouldn't think there's a lot of call for ship carpenters in the Midwest (or probably the twenty first century), but I'm also pretty sure I don't know a whole lot about carpentry in general.
- Hey there. What is your preferred whiskey for imbibing? Also what is your favorite for sterilizing wounds?
- Out of curiosity, why prison psychology? What differentiates that from a more traditional psychological practice for you?
In case it's not immediately obvious, those are all based off of things on their profiles. There's a pretty distinct spread there for like, how long my first messages usually are (they occasionally go a little bit longer, but that's pretty much it). I also don't talk about myself much - that will come, don't worry. Let them ask you questions and determine their priority of what they want to know. This is also useful for you, for the record - if the first thing someone talks to you about is your job, or your favorite book, or whatever, then you have an idea of where their priorities lie.
This is formal as heck man
I think you should probably cut the bolded stuff because on a dating site those things will either be readily apparent in your profile or not matter until you've talked a bit first
Then I'd probably reword a lot of the rest to make it sound less stiff/formal? Like, you don't need to say you read her profile because you'll show it by talking about the things you read that you found interesting ("oh you're from [wherever]? I love visiting there!" or something) and instead of saying that you have things in common and listing them just talk about them ("I love volleyball too but I haven't played in forever, is there a good place to play in the area?")
There's nothing really wrong with a basic formula for sending a message but what you have here is bordering on a dating application rather than a friendly hello, I think it would be better if it was a little looser
agree! casual and something indicating you actually read the profile (or skimmed most of it, at least) is good. I might be a weirdo but I didn't love it when people messaging me mentioned how I look - I assume since they're messaging me they find me attractive enough.
Whats wrong with being formal and showing respect when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe suave people can act casual, or treat someone you have an interest in as someone you already know on a 'first date' but I find that kind of attitude rather on the douchebag side of things. I feel like its immediately showing disrespect to someone you want to know about.
Obviously I'm doing something wrong so im listening, but i suck at this in person, (meeting people for the first time), so sucking at it online isnt surprising.
Yeah, I'd agree that that's something to avoid.
Listen, whoever you're messaging? They know you find them attractive (at least in your photos). They know that you find them interesting (at least conceptually). Don't say that they're either of those things. If there's something specifically interesting or attractive about them, talk about that. Tell them you love their earrings or their haircut! Tell them that you're very interested in the same things, ask questions, that sort of thing.
See, the way your message is structured
It's pretty much the same thing as just saying 'hey' and expecting them to respond
The request there isn't to not have short and informal messages
It's to not send the same message that you just sent to ten other girls
But a casual approach is infinitely better than an application form.
You did good Ange, and I think in the long run it's the right thing for that guy to get the help he needs
The Love Thread is an embassy for lovelorn citizens of all nations.
Women on dating sites get a lot of messages and end up doing a bit of a mental filter to try and sort out which, if any, are worth actually considering
If your message reads like a cover letter you're copy-pasting to a lot of the women on the site and just swapping sentences, it's both inorganic and pretty easy to spot. Regardless of how "respectful" you think you're trying to be, when it comes down to it you...kind of aren't, if you're treating the person you're writing to like they're no different than a company you've Googled and are trying to apply for
I am far, far more likely to respond to something like Straightzi's message style. If you want to include a sentence or two about how you relate to a thing the woman likes before asking a question about something unique about her you're actually interested in, then that's even better, to me.
3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
I'd much rather hear things like "oh FUCK I would love to do a Chris Jericho/Dean Ambrose couple costume with you WHICH ONE DO YOU PREFER"
3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
Or receiving a bulk "OFFER ENDS SOON" mailer instead of a hand-written letter.
Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.
This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.
Well, anyone who says "You should smile more" deserves a beatdown. Ugh.
Because I know you're all just doing that so I'll let my guard down. And if I let my guard down, HYDRA will worm its way in!
D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
Wazzup chick?"
No use of the word chick allowed unless I get fluffy little birds!
I ate my first waffle!
It was pretty good.
Congrats
OMG LIIYA PORN
It was better this time but I think I'm adding too much bitters and not dissolving the sugar enough.
I think, since I'm an irish whisky guy usually anyway, I should try making an irish coffee.
*tapes gun to another gun to exponentially increase freedom*
I was talking to a Paralegal in the office today. She told me an attorney, who is younger than her, told her to smile more.
She asked him if she would tell a man that. He said no. She responded with then what makes you think it's appropriate.
She reported him.
I stopped what I was doing, when to her floor and shook her hand (I would have high-fived her, but her back hurt).
Steam Me
The GF can deal with that shit tomorrow.
God bless you cheap whiskey, I'm sure everything is going to be ok
super late, but if things are happenin' I'd join.
I need to stop playing Stellaris.
It was a surprisingly stressful moment!
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
fwiw the two people I went on dates with last time I was doing the online thing were the two people who sent me something that related to my profile that wasn't just "But are you sure you don't want a threesome??"
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
What about whisky and shooting/shouting at angry demons?