[pbp] Ruins of Undermountain (D&D 5e) - ADVENTURE OVER!!! Thanks for Playing!

evilthecat

I have the lowest AC so sure, I'll drink the potion..

am0n

Yeah, Ay is already 16 AC, so the potion does naught. Sal is the best use of the potion.

Ay is ready to proceed.

"Well, seems like everything is pulling us through those doors. Shall we proceed with caution?"

Bursar

Sorry, I'm drowning in personal stuff lately so pardon if I'm being nonresponsive unless pinged.

I'm confirming that Barran is taking 10 poisoned bolts, 1 normal poch o' healin', and the scroll of Expeditious Retreat.

Steelhawk

OK! I think everyone's stat blocks are finalized. Please let me know if there are any issues.

Philo - AC:19, HP:38+5/38, 3/4 Sup. Dice, HD: 1/4, Cold Resistance, INSPIRATION, H.Pots: 1&1G
Ay - AC:16, HP: 29+5/31, Ki: 4/4, HD: 2/4, H.Pots: 2
Salazar - AC:16, HP: 30+5/30, Spells:-/4/3, SP:4, HD:0/4, INPSIRATION, BARKSKINNED, H.Pots: 2, Scrolls: Fireball, Acid Arrow
Barran - AC:16, HP: 27+5/27, Spells: -/2, HD: 2/4, H.Pots: 2
Dural - AC:18, HP: 40+5/40, Spells:-/1, LoH:5/20, HD: 0/4, INSPIRATION, H.Pots: 1&1G

Give me a bit to get the map together and then try not to fail spectacularly on ramping up to an epic big bad fight.

Aegis

I'm out of Lay on Hands I think: 5 hp to Cure Poison, then 5 hp to top Sal off unless they were already at max?

Steelhawk

Aegis wrote: »

I'm out of Lay on Hands I think: 5 hp to Cure Poison, then 5 hp to top Sal off unless they were already at max?

No. You spent 5 to cure the poison and Sal spent his last HD to top himself off.

Steelhawk

I'm not gonna lie. I'm afraid of fucking this climax up and therefore am procrastinating.

1) Its not easy to find awesome drow priestess art that is not slutty
2) its also hard to find a image of a generic dungeon that has a bit of drow flair thrown is that is just right
3) I may be looking too hard to find the right images because its part of the aforementioned procrastination
4) The map is ready! (-ish) There is that...

evilthecat

1) They're all sexual deviants, slutty is par for the course!
2) Then again, seeing dildos and ballgags on every wall is perhaps a bit much ...
3) right images? *wink, wink* *nudge, nudge*
4) alrighty!

Steelhawk

"What took you so long?" comes a sultry voice in the distance. Female, soft. With a hint of an exotic elvish accent, and no small amount of excitement.

Steeling yourself for the fight ahead, the party finally started to creep down the hallway past the doors to the east when the voice called out. An eerie, low purplish light casting a glow ahead of you. There is a heavy silence in the air, almost as if the entire dungeon is waiting to see what is about to happen next. Spider webs can be seen now clinging to the corners of the hallway. Not thick enough to cause alarm, but definitely not being brushed aside as most being are wont to do.

"Come now, you've made me wait this long...the heady anticipation is quickly turning into teasing. One can only tease a woman so much." Dangerous now, but still enticing. Salazar keenly feels that his horns do indeed need polishing as they near the end of the hallway. "Show yourselves! Come on, I won't bite... unless you ask me to."

The hall opens into a large room, 50'x70' with a ceiling to high that it extends beyond your range of vision. Four large pillars also disappear into the darkness above. Intricate motifs have been painted into the square pillars, patterns, whorls and designs reminiscent of arachnids and venerating the greater glory of Lloth. This paint is what is giving off the purplish glow and bathing the room in dim light. On the far side of the room, on the eastern wall sits a raised section flanked by two statues holding their hands out in supplication. The statues have both been worn away with time, and defaced by the drow. Behind this area, 20' above, sits a ledge. Along its back wall another glowing motif is painted, this time clearly of the Spider Queen in her half-spider/half beautiful woman image, with an intricate web arrayed behind her. This room seems a combination temple/throne room for Lady Zarr

On the raised area sits an elegant throne, upon which is draped a languid Drow female. One shapely leg thrown over the arm of the chair and her torso leaning the other way in what can only be described as a "come hither" pose. Perched aside her on the back of the throne is a hunched blue Imp. The same one Barran spotted earlier guiding the convoy of stolen urchins back to the Drow. She is absentmindedly stroking the many heads of her traditional Snake headed whip as she looks over at you all. Not like a surface dweller would stroke the back of a dog, say. Zarr invokes a very different notion with her every movement.



"You were right, Ra'Fiki. The dwarf is very ugly of course, but the others are indeed quite handsome. Come, handsome ones. Come and speak with Lady Zarr."

Mongrel Idiot

"And you yourself are quite lovely, Zarr," says Philo. "But fair skin can wrap a foul heart as surely as it can a fair one, and your deeds have shown yours to be black as the pit you crawled up from. We know about the children and the throne. Your reign here is at an end."

Steelhawk

"Now, let's not be hasty. My enterprise here is finished, true. You've seen to that." Zarr replied, waving her hand dismissively and straightens from her lounging position. "You've freed some of the children. You've decimated my forces. There is no profit for me here and I shall depart presently."

Her tone turns harsh. "But first you shall hand over the Orb and the Crystal Rod. Give me what I came here for and we can go our separate ways."

evilthecat

I'd like to perceive the room to see what else is of interest here.
You know, other drow, miniature tarrasques, iron golems, stuff that might be a problem later!

After/while doing so, I'll ask Zarr what the orb and rod do.

minion, roll 1d20+1 for looking around

looking around:

1d20+1 13 [1d20=12]

Steelhawk

Geth, roll 1d20+4 for reasons

Edit: Gawddammit, Geth.

Glancing around, Salazar spots the tail end of dark cloak peeking out from behind one of the pillars, about 15 up.

@evilthecat - How exactly do you go about asking Zarr about the Orb?

reasons:

1d20+4 9 [1d20=5]

evilthecat

// Eh, you only live once!

"Soooo about that orb and rod. We used one on the other and this well dressed skeleton fell out.
Whoever it was, they had a few neat little trinkets on them, too!
Anyway, which were you after and why, maybe we can still sort this out amicably.."

Minion, roll 2#1d20k1+6 for charisma with inspiration

charisma with inspiration:

2#1d20k1+6 2 # 9 [1d20k1=[3]] 9 [1d20k1=[3]]

evilthecat

Mongrel Idiot

Is it reasonable for Philo to notice that she's (probably) not buying it, and try to bluff and convince Zarr that Sal thinks exaggerated winking and eyebrow-waggling is how non-tieflings express sincerity? Or is that too meta?

Mainly because I wanna see if I can make it worse.

am0n

No, Ra'Fiki, No!!!!

Mongrel Idiot

Come on, am0n! Join our disaster parade!

Steelhawk

Mongrel Idiot wrote: »

Is it reasonable for Philo to notice that she's (probably) not buying it, and try to bluff and convince Zarr that Sal thinks exaggerated winking and eyebrow-waggling is how non-tieflings express sincerity? Or is that too meta?

Mainly because I wanna see if I can make it worse.

I'm totally OK with you making it worse...

am0n

Mongrel Idiot wrote: »

Come on, am0n! Join our disaster parade!

Completely plan to, I just wanted to give you a chance to bork things up before me, since you asked about it. If you don't manage to blow this up, I'll give it a go!

Steelhawk

@Mongrel Idiot - Did you want to pipe up and say something in support of Sal with some RP and maybe a roll?

Mongrel Idiot

"Forgive my colleague," says Philo, taking a small step forward. "He had a strange childhood, and sometimes forgets that sincerity to one race is insincerity to another. But we can't just give you the orb, not knowing what's in it and knowing what you tried to do here. What is your interest in it?"

Sorry, got pulled away for a bit. Also: Haha, I'm proficient in Persuasion for some reason. Amazing.

Edit: YEAH! THERE'S THE PHILO WE KNOW AND LOVE!

Geth, roll 1d20+4 for Trust me!

Trust me!:

1d20+4 12 [1d20=8]

Aegis

There doesn't seem to be a bluff check in 5e, what's the relevant alternative? Persuasion or Deception (or Performance?)?

evilthecat

I have a follow up line depending on what Zarr says, bring it on!

edit:
bluff would be deception. you're peddling lies.

Aegis

Dural guffaws at the mention of being called ugly, his hand rotating his hammer this way and that as if the weapon itself were anxious to get smashing. "Grandpa did always mention the dark dwellers be terrible to deal with," he speaks, conversationally but with the tone as if he were speaking to himself of some pertinent memory, "Wasn't th'stench," he starts with an offhand flourish, "...since underground yer liable to run into all kinds of foul smellin' vapours, though they did smell pretty bad. Not th' lyin' so much that ye can never trust a deal from em, either. Tha's mostly cause all of the backstabbin' that happens in the course o' tryin' to deal with 'em, with their poisoned little knives, stabbing," he thrusts his hammer out in a stabbing motion a few times when he gets to this part, "Stab. Stab stab. Stabstabstab.

No, it was th' webs that be the worst part of dealin' with their kind. They surround themselves with these blasted spiders, like the pair of bigguns we killed a few hallways back, smashed to little bits mind ye, all bloated and sticky, and coverin' everythin' with webs. Webs everywhere. An' when ye be sendin' the dark dwellers back to their spider hag of a goddess," he spits, "Pardon, bit o' web in me mouth, Watchful Eye pardon the offense. Anyway, when ye be sendin' the dark dwellers back to their spider hag of a goddess, ye just get webs all up in yer beard. It takes ages to get the stuff out again. Least the blood washes off quick enough."

This bluff roll is mostly to see whether Dural makes the drow so angry they manage to get distracted from the trainwreck happening right in front of them. It's a win-win even if it fails because there's really no way this gets any worse

2d20k1+2 for Bluff with Inspiration

Aegis

It would probably help if I actually told Geth to roll the dice.

minion, roll 2d20k1+2 for Bluff with Inspiration

Bluff with Inspiration:

2d20k1+2 11 [2d20k1=[9], 8]

Bursar

"There's really no way this gets any worse," he says. Oh ho ho...

"Excuse me!" Barran says, stepping around from behind Dural and raising a hand tentatively. "Speaking as the one most likely to be devoured whole by those giant spiders, I can tell you that I'm not in favor of facing them again. If one wand is all it takes to get her to go back down into whatever hole she was stupid enough to climb out of and into this ridiculous pit, I'm all for it."

He sets down his pack on the floor and begins rummaging through it, muttering things like "coulda sworn it was in here" under his breath. Finally, he produces the glowing crystal rod with a wave. "There we go!"

Barran wiggles the rod around a bit, watching the way the glow seemingly floats on its own in the dim light. "I never really appreciated it from an aesthetic view. Really a shame that it's about to disappear from civilization forever." He begins to move it faster and faster, adding dramatic flourishes, spins, and tossing it up into the air and catching it again. The rod seems almost to be dancing on its own, leaping from hand to hand almost without needing to be held in the rogue's deft fingers.

Faster and faster the rod goes, left right up down right up down left up down up up up up down down down down down...
"Oops."

A distressing pile of broken glass and half a crystal rod lays at the halfling's feet. The glow fades, then dies completely.

"Ooh. Okay, okay. We can make this right. Trade you this fine cloak for it?"

This was of course Barran casting Silent Illusion once more!

Steelhawk

"Oh, I assure you. My interests are pure...unlike yours." Zarr says, looking directly in Philo's eyes as she responds. "You seek only treasure do you not? Glory? Fame and Fortune? Bah! I have been searching decades for the Orb of-"

She snaps her head around as Dural begins speaking, he brows furrowing as she is both interrupted in her monologue by thoroughly insulting vile surface dwarf. You can tell that the casual mention of slaughtering the spiders bothers Zarr more than she would like, but she forces herself to keep her calm and continue with the negotiation. "Your blasphemous actions can be forgiven by our Lady Lloth, assuming of course that we can come to an arrangeme-"

She then turns with curiosity and eagerness as Barran brings out the Orb and Wand and begins his routine. "Wait... you don't know what..." she reaches out a hand tentatively, seeing where this going. Ra'Fiki on the throne stretches his wings and prepares to leap forwards. "Stop, You fool..." she says, standing up. The orb shatters into the stone floor, shards flying out in all directions! Lady Zarr gasps, in equal parts horror and fascination. One hand clutching the scourge so tight that the nine snake heads making up the whip scream in frustration.

Geth, roll 2#1d20k1+6 to roll Insight with Advantqge because shattering magical glass orbs should make some noise when they go kaboom

shattering magical glass orbs should make some noise when they go kaboom:

2#1d20k1+6 2 # 18 [1d20k1=[12]] 20 [1d20k1=[14]]

Steelhawk

"ENOUGH OF THIS!!!" Zarr erupts, her eyes blazing in fury. "I have had enough of your vile blasphemy and sun-filled deceit. May Lolth devour your souls!"

She raises her arms to the heavens and throws her head back, letting out an exulting and ululating cry. "Queen of the Demonweb pits! Heed your servant and lend me your strength!!!"

A sudden wind swirls through the chamber and the ethereal noise of kabillions of spider legs can be heard in the back of your minds. Zarr's hair and skirts swirl about her and she lifts off the floor, rising straight up into the air, well above your heads.

Geth, roll 1d100 for a 30% chance to summon a Yochlol

Edit: Geth, I take back everything bad I ever said about you.

ROLL INITATIVE!!!

a 30% chance to summon a Yochlol:

1d100 21 [1d100=21]

Bursar

Yuck, lol.

Geth, roll 1d20+4 for Barran's initiative

Barran's initiative:

1d20+4 19 [1d20=15]

Steelhawk

Zarr cackles as the demon warps into existence. Proof of her righteousness in the eyes of her Queen.

Geth, roll 1d20+2 for Drow Warrior's Initiative
Geth, roll 1d20 for Ra'Fiki's Initiative
Geth, roll 1d20+2 for Zarr's Initiative

Stats:

Philo - AC:19, HP:38+5/38, 3/4 Sup. Dice, HD: 1/4, Cold Resistance, INSPIRATION, H.Pots: 1&1G
Ay - AC:16, HP: 29+5/31, Ki: 4/4, HD: 2/4, H.Pots: 2
Salazar - AC:16, HP: 30+5/30, Spells:-/4/3, SP:4, HD:0/4, BARKSKINNED, H.Pots: 2, Scrolls: Fireball, Acid Arrow
Barran - AC:16, HP: 27+5/27, Spells: -/1, HD: 2/4, H.Pots: 2
Dural - AC:18, HP: 40+5/40, Spells:-/1, LoH:5/20, HD: 0/4, INSPIRATION, H.Pots: 1&1G
Lady Zarr - AC:16, HP:71, Spells:-/4/3/3/3/2, Fey Ancestry, Innate Spells, Levitating
Yochlol - AC:15, HP:136, Resist: B/P/S, Cold, Fire & Lightning except magic, Immune Poison, Magic Resistance, Spider Climb, Web Walker
Drow 1 - AC:15, HP:13, Fey Ancestry, Innate Spells
Drow 2 - AC:15, HP:13, Fey Ancestry, Innate Spells
Ra'Fiki - AC:13, HP:10, Resist: B/P/S,Cold except Silver & Magic, Immune to Fire & Poison

Drow Warrior's Initiative:

1d20+2 4 [1d20=2]

Ra'Fiki's Initiative:

1d20 5 [1d20=5]

Zarr's Initiative:

1d20+2 18 [1d20=16]

Mongrel Idiot

"I have no idea what Drow hell is like," says Philo, drawing his sword, "but be sure to write me and tell me all about it when you get there!"

Ooooooh, this is gonna be good!

EDIT: God fucking damn it, Philo.

Geth, roll 1d20+1 for Gettin' off the blocks

Gettin':

1d20+1 9 [1d20=8]

evilthecat

minion, roll 1d20+2 for initiative

// *looks at stat block* we're soooooo fucked.

initiative:

1d20+2 8 [1d20=6]

Mongrel Idiot

Steelhawk

Yeah...I didn't think Zarr'd be able to get off that summoning.

Such is life! Fight hard. Roll well. You guys will be fine.

Mongrel Idiot

There's always the option of opening the orb and hoping whatever's inside it is as hostile to Zarr as it probably is to us.

As a last resort, of course.

evilthecat

Hows about we run, fuck the dead kids.

Mongrel Idiot

*ahem*

evilthecat

Yeah that's totally Philo's bag.
Salazar would rather not dick around with the person that just got given a demon from a god.

Steelhawk

You are more than welcome to leave your companions to their doom and make a run for it. You might collect some serious winnings on the running bet in the Yawning Portal on which one of you will actually survive.

A Yochlol for reference: