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Bad News... in a good way.

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Posts

  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    My favourite delivery story to happen to me was when I'd ordered something, and actually had the day off so I could make sure I got it. I'd ordered things from them before, and they had a habit of leaving 'you were out, call to reschedule' cards.

    I saw the van pull up out the window, headed for the door, and the delivery guy just posted the 'you were out' card through the slot, then walked away. No knock, no doorbell.

    I opened the door and headed for the van, the guy saw me, and actually ran back to the van and drove off before I could reach it.

    I got the registration, and an hour and forty minutes of angry phone calls later, the van came back, and the guy actually delivered the package.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Bad News: Nevada man attempts to walk out of Walmart with $800 in unpaid merchandise...

    Gone Right:...during their annual Shop with a Sheriff event.

    The best day to rob literally ANY other store. Like, you see the sign and you should immediately think, "Nah, I'll go rob the Best Buy across town," not, "This is my Everest!"

  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    Bad News: Nevada man attempts to walk out of Walmart with $800 in unpaid merchandise...

    Gone Right:...during their annual Shop with a Sheriff event.

    The best day to rob literally ANY other store. Like, you see the sign and you should immediately think, "Nah, I'll go rob the Best Buy across town," not, "This is my Everest!"

    Some people live for the challenge, man.

    sig.gif
  • BowenBowen Sup? Registered User regular
    klemming wrote: »
    My favourite delivery story to happen to me was when I'd ordered something, and actually had the day off so I could make sure I got it. I'd ordered things from them before, and they had a habit of leaving 'you were out, call to reschedule' cards.

    I saw the van pull up out the window, headed for the door, and the delivery guy just posted the 'you were out' card through the slot, then walked away. No knock, no doorbell.

    I opened the door and headed for the van, the guy saw me, and actually ran back to the van and drove off before I could reach it.

    I got the registration, and an hour and forty minutes of angry phone calls later, the van came back, and the guy actually delivered the package.

    why not just like... deliver the package at that point?

  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    klemming wrote: »
    My favourite delivery story to happen to me was when I'd ordered something, and actually had the day off so I could make sure I got it. I'd ordered things from them before, and they had a habit of leaving 'you were out, call to reschedule' cards.

    I saw the van pull up out the window, headed for the door, and the delivery guy just posted the 'you were out' card through the slot, then walked away. No knock, no doorbell.

    I opened the door and headed for the van, the guy saw me, and actually ran back to the van and drove off before I could reach it.

    I got the registration, and an hour and forty minutes of angry phone calls later, the van came back, and the guy actually delivered the package.

    why not just like... deliver the package at that point?

    My guess is either laziness or time quotas. Faster to just jam the card in and move on, so you can finish your deliveries faster, either to just finish your work faster, or to avoid getting penalised for taking too long.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    klemming wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    klemming wrote: »
    My favourite delivery story to happen to me was when I'd ordered something, and actually had the day off so I could make sure I got it. I'd ordered things from them before, and they had a habit of leaving 'you were out, call to reschedule' cards.

    I saw the van pull up out the window, headed for the door, and the delivery guy just posted the 'you were out' card through the slot, then walked away. No knock, no doorbell.

    I opened the door and headed for the van, the guy saw me, and actually ran back to the van and drove off before I could reach it.

    I got the registration, and an hour and forty minutes of angry phone calls later, the van came back, and the guy actually delivered the package.

    why not just like... deliver the package at that point?

    My guess is either laziness or time quotas. Faster to just jam the card in and move on, so you can finish your deliveries faster, either to just finish your work faster, or to avoid getting penalised for taking too long.

    I think the question is "Why not just deliver the package after you got caught being lazy?". At that point, probably to just avoid confrontation of your actions I guess.

    My parents worked in the delivery transport service, so I've heard stories and have a degree of sympathy. Apparently residential deliveries are just always a royal pain, mainly for the obvious reason that nobody's home most of the time. Knowing that has made some things I've experienced make sense. Time quotas are also a big thing. I've had a few deliveries where it's coming on 6PM and it's still saying it's on the truck, but no doubt the driver is leaving it to the very last to up the chances somebody is home from work. Or another where the guy knocked on the door but didn't actually take the package off the truck yet. In those cases though they were large, heavy packages and clearly they were checking to see if somebody was home before expending the effort to take it out. So somebody working smarter, not harder.

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    To be fair, did he see you come out of the house? I'm driving a truck full of expensive packages and some dude comes at me yelling, "Hey!" I think I might GTFO rather than ask what's up.

  • ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    klemming wrote: »
    My favourite delivery story to happen to me was when I'd ordered something, and actually had the day off so I could make sure I got it. I'd ordered things from them before, and they had a habit of leaving 'you were out, call to reschedule' cards.

    I saw the van pull up out the window, headed for the door, and the delivery guy just posted the 'you were out' card through the slot, then walked away. No knock, no doorbell.

    I opened the door and headed for the van, the guy saw me, and actually ran back to the van and drove off before I could reach it.

    I got the registration, and an hour and forty minutes of angry phone calls later, the van came back, and the guy actually delivered the package.

    I had someone put a non-postal delivery in my mailbox once, so they didnt have to get out of their vehicle..Something i only learned after i noticed it was reported delivered that evening, and took forever to hunt down because who the fuck would look in the mailbox for a non-postal delievery.

    Now, if you are unfamiliar with American law and why this is an issue.. the only people who may place items inside, upon, or hanging from a mailbox is a authorized postal worker, and only when those parcels and correspondence is properly stamped and processed.

    This act of lazy time saving could have cost the company 10,000, and possibly more if it was part of a pattern, postal service takes a very dim view of people violating their space and the laws surrounding it.

    Almost wish I'd had reported it.

    Buttcleft on
  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    To be fair, did he see you come out of the house? I'm driving a truck full of expensive packages and some dude comes at me yelling, "Hey!" I think I might GTFO rather than ask what's up.
    He started running the instant I opened the front door.
    He just didn't want to have the "What the fuck are you doing' discussion that he was clearly about to have.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Usually, chess isn't sexy.

    Usually.

    _99299124_52b16e63-e780-4dca-849c-52ab26870e39.jpg

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    Usually, chess isn't sexy.

    Usually.

    _99299124_52b16e63-e780-4dca-849c-52ab26870e39.jpg

    To quote Daniel Barker. "Borderline Pawnographic".

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Usually, chess isn't sexy.

    Usually.

    _99299124_52b16e63-e780-4dca-849c-52ab26870e39.jpg

    All I can think is, they must have abs of steel :razz:

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.

    AngelHedgie on
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • jungleroomxjungleroomx It's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovels Registered User regular
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.

    l0ru6dp20zfb.png

    Aaaaaaaaaa nooooooooope.

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation:

    A mystery!

  • ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    the way thats phrased is like they need help lifting it off the field. Or drinking the pepsi

    If its the latter, im on my way!

    Prohass on
  • Atlas in ChainsAtlas in Chains Registered User regular
    Prohass wrote: »
    the way thats phrased is like they need help lifting it off the field. Or drinking the pepsi

    If its the latter, im on my way!

    Ew, no, don't put Pepsi in your mouth. Gross.

  • TheClapTheClap Registered User regular
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.
    MASHED HIS PENIS BETWEEN CAR TRUNK AND LAWN MOWER

    wat

  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    I believe we are missing the essential second part of this thread title, my friends

    :bigfrown:

  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    I believe we are missing the essential second part of this thread title, my friends

    :bigfrown:

    It has been the eternal struggle.

    For a while, there are feel good stories about things going awry, only to be rectified in the ending paragraph.

    Then eventually we descend into mashed members and things up people's butts.

    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Prohass wrote: »
    the way thats phrased is like they need help lifting it off the field. Or drinking the pepsi

    If its the latter, im on my way!
    I also need to know if it's plugged in/working, and fully stocked. Because that's hilarious.

    sig.gif
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I believe we are missing the essential second part of this thread title, my friends

    :bigfrown:

    The good part is that none of these happened to me.
    Or, presumably, other people that I know.

  • Moridin889Moridin889 Registered User regular
    emp123 wrote: »
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.
    MASHED HIS PENIS BETWEEN CAR TRUNK AND LAWN MOWER

    wat

    Have you never loaded a lawn mower into a vehicle?

  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.
    MASHED HIS PENIS BETWEEN CAR TRUNK AND LAWN MOWER

    wat

    Have you never loaded a lawn mower into a vehicle?

    Many times but I always wear pants when I do.

  • NosfNosf Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    Carpy wrote: »
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.
    MASHED HIS PENIS BETWEEN CAR TRUNK AND LAWN MOWER

    wat

    Have you never loaded a lawn mower into a vehicle?

    Many times but I always wear pants when I do.

    Yea, I've done this a few times. Loaded a mower into my trunk that is. I am unsure how your dong gets out and put in harm's way.

    Nosf on
  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    One in a million shot doc, one in a million!

    steam_sig.png
  • [Expletive deleted][Expletive deleted] The mediocre doctor NorwayRegistered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    I believe we are missing the essential second part of this thread title, my friends

    :bigfrown:

    The good part is that none of these happened to me.
    Or, presumably, other people that I know.

    Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and die.

    Sic transit gloria mundi.
  • TNTrooperTNTrooper Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    I believe we are missing the essential second part of this thread title, my friends

    :bigfrown:

    The good part is that none of these happened to me.
    Or, presumably, other people that I know.

    Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and die with your dick out.

    steam_sig.png
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited December 2017
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.

    WHY IS THIS A THING
    PENIS RING WITH SPIKES ON IT

    Are they on the inside or the outside? I'm not sure which sounds worse.

    Hevach on
  • SoggybiscuitSoggybiscuit Tandem Electrostatic Accelerator Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    It's time for the annual tradition of recounting what weird shit people put into their orifaces.

    May not be safe for work or the squeamish.

    Edit: Let's not forget what we did to Mr. Happy, either.

    WHY IS THIS A THING
    PENIS RING WITH SPIKES ON IT

    Are they on the inside or the outside? I'm not sure which sounds worse.

    It sounds like going down that rabbit hole does not lead to Wonderland. Only to confusion and despair.

    Steam - Synthetic Violence | XBOX Live - Cannonfuse | PSN - CastleBravo | Twitch - SoggybiscuitPA
  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    Coaxial cable in the penis.

    "I got a great idea! I'll just download the internet porn directly into my dick!"

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
This discussion has been closed.