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How To Kill A Dracula, and Other Lesser Undead

135

Posts

  • FroThulhuFroThulhu Registered User regular
    Also, while a dracula may revive frome an Unanticipated Non-Terrestrial EVA, they would of course be expunged by any atmosphere reentry..

    This has lead to the use of Orbital Expulsion as an approved Method of Liquidation for Draculas and Draculas adjacent entities by the leading authorities, since the late 1960's.

    Nova_C wrote: »
    "I'm arresting you for failing to check yourself. You have the right to wreck yourself."
    Tommy2Hands
  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    What is an alucard

    2vue7ao.png
    Tommy2HandsPlatyNaphtali
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Dear MRE,

    My primary care physician and family doctor goes by Dr. Acula. Should I be concerned?

    Wishing for the Best,

    Transylvania Hypochondriac

    Cdcniho.jpg
  • FroThulhuFroThulhu Registered User regular
    Any and all Revenants, mutant undead, Mad Scientists, or other Fiends posing as licensed medical practitioners should be reported to the appropriate handlers, starting with Mr. @timspork's ghost 's organization and working from there.

    Nova_C wrote: »
    "I'm arresting you for failing to check yourself. You have the right to wreck yourself."
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    What is an alucard

    it's dracula backwards.
    Dear MRE,

    My primary care physician and family doctor goes by Dr. Acula. Should I be concerned?

    Wishing for the Best,

    Transylvania Hypochondriac

    Man, if that's the name a vampire is using that's a real dumb vampire. It would probably pretty easy to get them to slip up and reveal themselves as a vampire, i say give it ago and play it off like it's totally cool with you they're a vampire and then later, come back and set them on fire.

    FroThulhuSlacker71
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    can i set them on fire during office hours or do i have to hang out in the parking lot or what

    how does this scenario usually play out

    also should i really light my family doctor on fire? he's my family doctor

    Tommy2Hands on
    Cdcniho.jpg
  • FroThulhuFroThulhu Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    What is an alucard

    it's dracula backwards.
    Dear MRE,

    My primary care physician and family doctor goes by Dr. Acula. Should I be concerned?

    Wishing for the Best,

    Transylvania Hypochondriac

    Man, if that's the name a vampire is using that's a real dumb vampire. It would probably pretty easy to get them to slip up and reveal themselves as a vampire, i say give it ago and play it off like it's totally cool with you they're a vampire and then later, come back and set them on fire.

    provided that you're an exceptional liar, that is

    Nova_C wrote: »
    "I'm arresting you for failing to check yourself. You have the right to wreck yourself."
  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    edited August 2016


    So what happens to a vampire's thralls when the dracula is killed? Do they die, or wake up, or what?

    RandomEncounter on
    sarukunBahamutZERO
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular


    So what happens to a vampire's thralls when the dracula is killed? Do they die, or wake up, or what?

    Auction block.

    9LlOwgn.png
    Well, good morning. Welcome to the new scenario. What should we do today?
    tynic
  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    How do I date a vampire?

    b1ehrMM.gif
    Platy
  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    How do I date a vampire?

    Step 1: Be the chosen one. The slayer of vampires.
    Step 2: Find a vampire that has a soul.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    tynicchrishallett83
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Is it possible to determine what a Crawling Skin is without being flagged as a Linkin Park fan?

    Please help.

    steam_sig.png
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    Doctor Melding

    Why don't mirrors capture the image of a dracula, but digital cameras do? Are mirrors just lazy? Are there any reflective surfaces which do show draculas?

    Oh brilliant
  • Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    How do I date a vampire?

    Go to Washington State and find a shiny vampire. And hope your blood sings to them.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Melding wrote: »
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    Dr. Melding,

    Lately I have been hearing the echoing wails of babies near my house at night, and am convinced I have seen infantile corpses scuttling through the underbrush. However, my cattle are also sick. How do I tell if this is an infestation of mylings or an infestation of ustrels? Please advise, I think they're building a nest in the attic.

    Sincerely,
    Babysieged in Iowa

    First things first, how are you seeing dead babies crawling around and have not called anyone? If i thought i saw a baby crawling around my bushes i would have called all the cops. Shit's freaky.

    The dead cattle does suggest an Ustrel, however it could be related. Investigating your attic during the day might be a good idea, setting fire to any nests found, as if this is a new Ustrel it will be too weak to survive the fire and the day light. If it is mature enough they still don't tend to eat humans so it might be forced to flee. a Myling would be an odd find as they tend to only want to be properly buried, attacking cows for nurishment is slightly out of character, all the same though you shouldn't approach on your own.

    Honestly there's a lot of child spirit folklore to go on, without some fact finding it's hard to narrow it down to something specific. So your best bet is to find a wolf you can trust, go up into your attic, set fire to any found nests and let the wolf do the business. If there is more than one, set the house on fire, it belongs to them now.

    Or, maybe your neighbour is a necromancer and is has lost their mind creating a perfect family of undead children and is also a bad parent. These things happens, shockingly often. Which is why we're trying to get things apst to make practising necromancers to register.

    Hope this helps,

    D. Melding, Babypuncher.

    I just want to say "find a wolf you can trust" is going to be my go-to advice for everything from now on.

    OmnipotentBagel on
    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    tynic
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Dear D. Melding,

    I currently live just north of a graveyard. Some people might find it a bit ghastly, but it makes for quiet neighbors and an amazing unobstructed view, which is hard to find in the city. My living room is absolutely drenched in sun. A few weeks ago, however, I heard a bit of noise outside. I initially assumed it was just some teenagers getting drunk in the graveyard, which, while irritating, isn't really something I can condemn in good conscience. However, the next time I walked through the cemetery, I found less empties and more gnawed on bones, which led me to believe I had a bit of a ghoul problem.

    The next time I heard something, I grabbed an ax and reinterred what I could, but I'm wondering - is there a better way? Is there anything that keeps ghouls away, like some sort of warding material? Clearly crosses and hallowed ground don't bother them much, given their eating patterns. Do ghouls come from a defined place? We haven't had any black masses in the neighborhood recently (at least not that I've been invited to), and I thought we had a pretty good lock on our vampire situation - is there something that could be drawing foreign ghouls over to my area?

    XaquinPlatyTommy2Hands38thDoe
  • The Cow KingThe Cow King Walls of Jakiro Registered User regular
    Dr. Melding

    Do you by chance have tips for slaying the Dracula of the pinball variety.

    Sincerly,

    Wizards

    icGJy2C.png
  • SyngyneSyngyne Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    How do I date a vampire?

    The most difficult part is getting one to sit still long enough for you to cut it in half and count the rings.

    5gsowHm.png
    XaquinPlatyTommy2HandsfightinfilipinotynicSlacker71TrippyJingBahamutZERO38thDoe
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Dear D. Melding,

    I currently live just north of a graveyard. Some people might find it a bit ghastly, but it makes for quiet neighbors and an amazing unobstructed view, which is hard to find in the city. My living room is absolutely drenched in sun. A few weeks ago, however, I heard a bit of noise outside. I initially assumed it was just some teenagers getting drunk in the graveyard, which, while irritating, isn't really something I can condemn in good conscience. However, the next time I walked through the cemetery, I found less empties and more gnawed on bones, which led me to believe I had a bit of a ghoul problem.

    The next time I heard something, I grabbed an ax and reinterred what I could, but I'm wondering - is there a better way? Is there anything that keeps ghouls away, like some sort of warding material? Clearly crosses and hallowed ground don't bother them much, given their eating patterns. Do ghouls come from a defined place? We haven't had any black masses in the neighborhood recently (at least not that I've been invited to), and I thought we had a pretty good lock on our vampire situation - is there something that could be drawing foreign ghouls over to my area?

    Dear Problems with Ghouls,

    Ghouls are not generally migratory and usually just set up in one area and when food gets scarce turn to less dead creatures to feed on. Ghouls are also typically a created undead but have been known to crawl out of the depths of the unexplored darkness we have not yet categorized. The only time foreign ghouls come about is generally imports or when a new necromancer or lich move to an area and bring all of their undead with them. So, if there was someone who moved into the area they might have brought the ghouls with them, or someone in your area is practising necromancy in the graveyard, this is more common than most suspect.

    As for how to ward them off, a fence works well. they're affordable, and not suspicious to erect so a privacy fence is often enough to discourage ghouls. Proper undead wards require a trained expert to construct and can be rather costly but can be found in the yellow pages but expect to pay a premium. People will tell you sea salt and what not, but that won't ward off ghouls any more then it would lawyers so don't worry about that. A simple fence will work just as well.

    hope this helps,

    D. Melding, not in the pocket of Big Fence.

    StraightziTommy2HandstynicPlatySlacker71chrishallett83Tef38thDoe
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    What are some good self-defense techniques against Draculas

    What can I do if I find myself in an enclosed space with one

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Dear D. Melding,

    I currently live just north of a graveyard. Some people might find it a bit ghastly, but it makes for quiet neighbors and an amazing unobstructed view, which is hard to find in the city. My living room is absolutely drenched in sun. A few weeks ago, however, I heard a bit of noise outside. I initially assumed it was just some teenagers getting drunk in the graveyard, which, while irritating, isn't really something I can condemn in good conscience. However, the next time I walked through the cemetery, I found less empties and more gnawed on bones, which led me to believe I had a bit of a ghoul problem.

    The next time I heard something, I grabbed an ax and reinterred what I could, but I'm wondering - is there a better way? Is there anything that keeps ghouls away, like some sort of warding material? Clearly crosses and hallowed ground don't bother them much, given their eating patterns. Do ghouls come from a defined place? We haven't had any black masses in the neighborhood recently (at least not that I've been invited to), and I thought we had a pretty good lock on our vampire situation - is there something that could be drawing foreign ghouls over to my area?

    Dear Problems with Ghouls,

    Ghouls are not generally migratory and usually just set up in one area and when food gets scarce turn to less dead creatures to feed on. Ghouls are also typically a created undead but have been known to crawl out of the depths of the unexplored darkness we have not yet categorized. The only time foreign ghouls come about is generally imports or when a new necromancer or lich move to an area and bring all of their undead with them. So, if there was someone who moved into the area they might have brought the ghouls with them, or someone in your area is practising necromancy in the graveyard, this is more common than most suspect.

    As for how to ward them off, a fence works well. they're affordable, and not suspicious to erect so a privacy fence is often enough to discourage ghouls. Proper undead wards require a trained expert to construct and can be rather costly but can be found in the yellow pages but expect to pay a premium. People will tell you sea salt and what not, but that won't ward off ghouls any more then it would lawyers so don't worry about that. A simple fence will work just as well.

    hope this helps,

    D. Melding, not in the pocket of Big Fence.

    Well crap. Got any suggestions that will work? My lawyer infestation is out of control.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Hey guys, nice thread you got here.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    What are some good self-defense techniques against Draculas

    What can I do if I find myself in an enclosed space with one

    Well, a good knife is always useful to have, as well as a well developed iron will to stop them from dominating you hypnotically. then you just put that knife into their heart and leave it there as you run away. Or, you drag the deactivated dracula into the sun and set it on fire. The knife is forfeit either way, but burning it means one less intact dracula.

    Well crap. Got any suggestions that will work? My lawyer infestation is out of control.

    The only thing that can defeat a lawyer is a bigger lawyer. hire a larger lawyer to write up a tenant landlord agreement for the smaller lawyers that has clauses to evect them if they do not abide to the new rules. they will be powerless to stop you.
    TankHammer wrote: »
    Hey guys, nice thread you got here.

    Oh look, it these guys again. How goes your unlicensed nuclear accelerators? end any realities recently?

    Melding on
    Tommy2HandsSlacker71NaphtalifightinfilipinoMatevTef38thDoe
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Some theoretical physicists argue that countless realities are ended every moment.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    FroThulhu
  • ZoelZoel I suppose... I'd put it on Registered User regular
    Some theoretical physicists argue that countless realities are ended every moment.

    Wouldn't that mean that theoretical physicists cease to exist at every moment?

    A magician gives you a ring that, when worn, will let you see the world as it truly is.
    However, the ring will never leave your finger, and you will be unable to ever describe to another living person what you see.
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    How much pressure does it take to pierce a Dracula's chest - and do you have to insert the stake or knife from the front or can you for example jam it into their armpit

    Is it true that being turned into a Dracula grants an amazing singing voice or is that just a rumor

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    How much pressure does it take to pierce a Dracula's chest - and do you have to insert the stake or knife from the front or can you for example jam it into their armpit

    Is it true that being turned into a Dracula grants an amazing singing voice or is that just a rumor

    it takes about the same as a human, which isn't easy so maybe a spike would be better in general? either way it doesn't need to be wood.

    Also near as i know vampirism and singing are unrelated.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Would wearing a steel gorget deter a Dracula

  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    How much pressure does it take to pierce a Dracula's chest - and do you have to insert the stake or knife from the front or can you for example jam it into their armpit

    Is it true that being turned into a Dracula grants an amazing singing voice or is that just a rumor

    it takes about the same as a human, which isn't easy so maybe a spike would be better in general? either way it doesn't need to be wood.

    Also near as i know vampirism and singing are unrelated.

    The Daughters of Cacophony would disagree with you.

    http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Daughters_of_Cacophony
    "I heard the song as I died. It led me out of darkness and cold, and it came to my lips with my mother-sister’s blood. And now I sing, because to end the song would be to end all."

    The Daughters of Cacophony are a bloodline of unknown origin (although the most common guesses are Toreador or Malkavian) to the general vampire population. Currently composed entirely of women (before the male members were culled for some reason), the Daughters practice Melpominee, a discipline which allows the Daughters to invoke strange effects through singing. The Daughters are the choralistes par excellence of the undead, and hosting a gathering of them is worth high prestige for the Toreador.

    There's like, only a hundred of them, but hey.

    9LlOwgn.png
    Well, good morning. Welcome to the new scenario. What should we do today?
  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    What would I have to do to be able to take on a vampire in hand to hand combat?

    b1ehrMM.gif
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    What would I have to do to be able to take on a vampire in hand to hand combat?

    Well, this depends on the vampire. lower vampires are basically humans but are dead, need blood to feed their unending hunger, and burn in sunlight more than the irish. being competent in hand to hand combat would be more than enough for most of them. A higher vampire is generally faster and stronger, so being well trained would help, specially if you're very good at prediction, otherwise i woudl recomend using a weapon that gives you reach so to avoid the Dracula's steely grip as they attempt to choke the life out of you.

    It's worth noting that most vampires still suck at hand to hand combat like most humans, they're just faster and stronger so it matters less.
    Would wearing a steel gorget deter a Dracula

    they could probably take it off, so only in so much as they know you're going to put up a fight.

  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    What would I have to do to be able to take on a vampire in hand to hand combat?

    Unless you have True Faith on your side, it's generally accepted that you shouldn't. Just blow up the building.

    9LlOwgn.png
    Well, good morning. Welcome to the new scenario. What should we do today?
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    lotta people have some real high opinions of vampires itt.

  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    lotta people have some real high opinions of vampires itt.

    Someone's never dealt with an Elysium.

    9LlOwgn.png
    Well, good morning. Welcome to the new scenario. What should we do today?
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    no, after District 9 i wasn't ready for another one of those. Chappie was pretty alright though.

    LalaboxNaphtaliMatev
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Zoel wrote: »
    Some theoretical physicists argue that countless realities are ended every moment.

    Wouldn't that mean that theoretical physicists cease to exist at every moment?

    Well, no, they're just theoretical

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    Slacker71
  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    Would a vampire react like a regular human if I kicked them in the privates?

    b1ehrMM.gif
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    personally I throw seeds at everyone just to make sure

    ikbUJdU.jpg
    Twitter Steam Playstation- Mechaphiliac
    Meldingsarukun
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Would a vampire react like a regular human if I kicked them in the privates?

    never tried, maybe? I wouldn't plan on it saving your life though they tend to recover pretty quickly.

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    What would happen to a vampire in space?

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