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The Origins of the [Chat] of Spanish Succession

RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
In 1700, Spain had a king.

After you've recovered from this shocking revelation, brace yourself for his name, Charles II.

And after you wonder when General Monck restored him to the throne, put down your copy of Hume's Civil War and realise that was a different Charles II. I'm talking about this guy:

juan_carreno_de_miranda_koenig_karl_ii._von_spanien_teaser.jpg?itok=VESZcAsZ

What a...looker?

Charles had severe learning troubles, an array of health problems and was sterile. Doctors at the time weren't sure why, but modern folk have a thought

Charles_II_Inbreeding.jpg

Gotta keep that wealth in the family after all.

So having no children, the Spanish throne by default would have gone to the children of Louis XIV of France, creating the possibility of a personal union between France and Spain. Nobody much in Europe liked this, so they worked on a compromise: give it to a six year old Austrian duke oh wait he died, new plan! A Grandson of Louis XIV, Philippe of Anjou Filippo V of Spain would gain the throne if he disavowed any claims to the French throne.

Except Louis said "nah, you can have the throne when I die" and invaded the Spanish Netherlands. Austria got miffed at this and a war started!

When the war ended, Filippo remained King of Spain, Louis properly disinherited him and the Austrians got the now Austrian Netherlands, i.e. Belgium. Spain and France would be allied by their familial ties, but never unified, at least until Napoleon took a stab at it in 1808.

The moral of the story: Stop marrying your neice.

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Posts

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    I need to be better prepared with Succession Crisis [chat]s

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    lol geez thats a lot of inbreeding

  • ZampanovZampanov You May Not Go Home Until Tonight Has Been MagicalRegistered User regular
    family tree approaching family pole status

    r4zgei8pcfod.gif
    PSN/XBL: Zampanov -- Steam: Zampanov
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    I was playing Scythe with simonwaifu

    RMS, I name you usurper

  • ZampanovZampanov You May Not Go Home Until Tonight Has Been MagicalRegistered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    I was playing Scythe with simonwaifu

    RMS, I name you usurper

    he waited more than 15 min

    you have failed this city

    r4zgei8pcfod.gif
    PSN/XBL: Zampanov -- Steam: Zampanov
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Zampanov wrote: »
    family tree approaching family pole status

    A focus on the family pole was what cause the problem

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    I'm the Richard Lionheart to RMS's John

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Trying to see what the biggest age gap is in that chart

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    I'm the Richard Lionheart to RMS's John

    John never usurped Richard tho

    I'm more a Richard III sort, stepping in because the heirs are too weak in tumultuous times

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Trying to see what the biggest age gap is in that chart

    I think it's Charles II's parents at 29 years apart

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Trying to see what the biggest age gap is in that chart

    I think it's Charles II's parents at 29 years apart

    Yeah

    Philip 3 parents were 22yr's
    Ferdinand 2's were 11yr's
    Christina of Denmark's were 20yrs

  • rockrngerrockrnger Registered User regular
    So big moon face is dominate, I guess.

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    didnt notice that it was Russian and got REAL confused for second
    (rus) dues ex: homo revolution

  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    Two Irish women are live tweeting their journey to the uk for an abortion

    That's probably a bit too much harsh reality for me :/

  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    didnt notice that it was Russian and got REAL confused for second
    (rus) dues ex: homo revolution

    I'm still confused

    fuck gendered marketing
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    didnt notice that it was Russian and got REAL confused for second
    (rus) dues ex: homo revolution

    I'm still confused

    The space is in the wrong place

    It should be due sex: homo revolution

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Tav wrote: »
    Two Irish women are live tweeting their journey to the uk for an abortion

    That's probably a bit too much harsh reality for me :/

    Someone's going to call for their arrest, I'm calling it.

  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    Tav wrote: »
    Two Irish women are live tweeting their journey to the uk for an abortion

    That's probably a bit too much harsh reality for me :/

    Someone's going to call for their arrest, I'm calling it.

    I've already seen some pretty negative things about it.

  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    Also RMS you're missing the other potential destabilizing outcome which would have been a renewal of the personal union of Spain and the Austrian side (which was way more than just Austria, also in a personal union)

    Nobody wanted that, least of all the Austrian Hapsburgs who had gone through that before and found it way too much

    fuck gendered marketing
  • TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
    fucking goddammit

    Jack Riley died last night.

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Great question over on NeoGAF
    Can you remember the first game you bought with your own money?

  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    wtf when did 5am happen?

    vRyue2p.png
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    didnt notice that it was Russian and got REAL confused for second
    (rus) dues ex: homo revolution

    I'm still confused

    The space is in the wrong place

    It should be due sex: homo revolution

    Ahh that clears it up

    fuck gendered marketing
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    I think mine was a used copy of Mechwarrior 2 for PS1

  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    I want a martial arts manual for cats

    fuck gendered marketing
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Elldren wrote: »
    I want a martial arts manual for cats

    latest?cb=20131016073837

    bloodyroarxx on
  • TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/justice-department-says-poor-can-t-be-held-when-they-n634676

    Holding defendants in jail because they can't afford to make bail is unconstitutional, the Justice Department said in a court filing late Thursday — the first time the government has taken such a position before a federal appeals court.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Great question over on NeoGAF
    Can you remember the first game you bought with your own money?

    The earliest one I can remember is Worms United

    Which started a long love affair with the series

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    I want a martial arts manual for cats

    A feline fechtbuch if you will

    fuck gendered marketing
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Great question over on NeoGAF
    Can you remember the first game you bought with your own money?

    Yes.

    Hi I'm Vee! on
    vRyue2p.png
  • EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    Great question over on NeoGAF
    Can you remember the first game you bought with your own money?

    Hmm. Duke Nukem 3D in 1996, but definitely games before that.

    Little Big Adventure was 1995...

    Wing Commander: Privateer was 1993, but I dunno if I actually bought that myself.

  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    (It was Pokemon Blue)

    vRyue2p.png
  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Well I guess technically it was my PS1.

    Im assuming I saved up my allowance and bought a used SNES game from Blockbuster before that but I cant remember if I did, I know that all my N64 and Genesis games were gifts.

  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    Tav wrote: »

    As someone who had a dream last night in which a girl became very attracted to me upon finding out that I was a very conscientious and responsible dog owner, I dub this reckless and not in the best interests of the safety of the doges.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Hmm, maybe it was TLOZ: Link's Awakening

    I guess the answer is no, I can't remember

    I remember that I was wearing an onion on my belt, as was the style at the time

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    I was playing Scythe with simonwaifu

    RMS, I name you usurper

    How are you finding it?

    I need to try a game as it's hard to work out who is annoyed with it not being the kemet X agricola it was originally teased as and who has genuinely found some problems

    My issues is that I mostly love the setting rather than the efficiency-based mechanics so I worry it might be a little flat for me

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Why is the dog wearing goggles inside his helmet

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Great question over on NeoGAF
    Can you remember the first game you bought with your own money?

    Nope. I used to buy all kinds of crud

    C64 budget games were £2.99 and I got £1/week. Who knows which of those turds was my first game

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
This discussion has been closed.