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USA Presidential Election 2016: Straight Outta Breitbart
Sterica
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
The country that brought you overpriced smartphones is having an election! For president! It's the head of the USA's executive branch, and arguably the most powerful position that any one person on the planet can hold. This kind of election only happens once every four years, so you gotta enjoy it while it lasts! Let's have a good time and talk about all the hilarious ups and downs of this election season. Warning: sometimes it may be less hilarious, and more soul-crushing!
Things to Consider Before Posting
Previously in the POTUS Thread...
Your mid-August report is basically that of a holding pattern until the election season truly kicks off sometime in September when people start paying closer attention. Trump is maintaining his roughly six-point deficit with no major changes in the polls. There has been a very small uptick for him, but we'll see if this is a meaningful change or just statistical static. Which, to be honest, is kind of amazing when you consider that he implied his supporters should shoot Clinton if she wins in November. His campaign is claiming to do yet another pivot to an actual campaign with weird notions like "dignity" but, if the previous failed resets are any indication, that mostly involves making Trump read off teleprompters until he decides to go off-script again. Trump's campaign is going off the rails so hard that the question seems to be less "Will she win?" and more "So what does a landslide look like?" And his campaign manager, Paul Manafort, has abandoned ship with less than 80 days left til the election, making him another causality in Trump's revolving door campaign team. Look: you know you're fucking up when Georgia is a potential battleground.
Clinton is less interesting unless you're Alex Jones in which case she has literally every disease known to man and is going to die mere days after the election. Unsurprisingly Trump has also made allusions to Clinton's "failing" health, which honestly is bad news for him since I think Clinton's corpse would just poll even stronger. The current cycle for Clinton news is as follows: Wikileaks tells us they got super damning emails, nothing happens, repeat until everyone stops paying attention to Wikileaks. It doesn't help that Wikileaks has had allegations of Russian ties levied against it and, depending on how snug you wear your tinfoil hat, that these are part of Putin's machinations to get Trump in the White House. Not because of any mutual ideology, but probably because Putin would be able to run circles around Trump in the Big Game of Foreign Affairs. Let's put it this way: Clinton has survived everything the GOP has thrown at her for the past three years. There isn't some scandal that they're going to dig up between now and November and win this thing. Expect them to just bring up the old non-scandals and pretend she was guilty after all. If Trump doesn't pivot (and have it stick), all she'll have to do is act like an adult and she'll win.
Would you like to know more? Read the previous threads...
In the Blue Corner...
"Healthy" Hillary Clinton
68 Years Old
Former Secretary of State and Senator
Strengths: A cutthroat politician that doesn't fuck around, which is a requirement if you want to get this far as a woman. Has tied up the minority votes ages ago, and the woman's vote is probably safe. Connections? She keeps popular company. Campaign is top-notch, with some of Obama's old crew on board. In the shitty, weird year that is 2016's rotted landscape, she's the one offering stability and, more importantly, an actual working game plan.
Weaknesses: Has made her far share of Faustian bargains to get here; she's hardly anyone's first choice for president and has kicked up party in-fighting. Sure, everyone and their mother knew the party backed Clinton during the primary, but did you really need DWS on your campaign that badly? Some Bernie Bros aren't going back now. Friendly with wall street, as befitting as person this connected, and we're still not sure if she's all that remorseful about Iraq. Actions speak louder than campaign platitudes, so it's a coin toss as to whether or not she's gotten over her Neocon days in the Middle East.
Tim "We Can Jesuit" Kaine
58 Years Old
Senator, Former Governor of Virginia and DNC Chair
Strengths: Dull, but likable and not going to rock the boat, which is just what the Clinton camp wants. Carries Virginia, which has liked going blue these past few elections, but we're not sure if it like likes it. Willingness to set aside personal views for the good of the country will be seen as a big plus by wishy washy moderates. Popular with Hispanics, as if this ticket hadn't tied up that vote over a year ago.
Weaknesses: A lukewarm candidate for a lukewarm ticket: the thing about safe bets is that you can't expect a big payoff. Voting record may not matter to party members skeptical about his personal politics.
In the Red Corner...
Donald "Second Amendment" Trump
70 Years Old
he's allowed to run
Strengths: No shame; all ego. Trump does not wish to play by the rules, and when you're this far behind there's some kind of argument to be made for throwing hail marys until November. Supporters are loyal to the point of some whitebread cult of fear, taking in every Trumpism as gospel and willing to play in his parody of reality. When you can blame Bush for 9/11, badmouth gold star families, and still not miss a beat...you've effectively got the base hypnotized. It's safe to say that Trump's biggest strength is just how much chaos he has brought into this election. Don't get complacent.
Weaknesses: The GOP base isn't what it used to be. The warning signs that banking on angry white men was a poor invested were happening back in 2008: Republicans needed to switch from the Southern Strategy years ago but they opted for short-term gains by stoking fear of the Black Man in the White House. This let a carnival barker like Trump Kingfish his way in and steal the base from the elites. Now it's 2016, and their candidate kicked off his campaign by pissing off Hispanics. Trump is a throwback to a bygone era: the last gasps of Goldwater's fear engine.
Mike "This is Fine" Pence
57 Years Old
Governor of Indiana
Strengths: He's an old-school moral majority conservative to ensure all of the other old-school moral majority conservatives that Trump will offer them a spot at the kid's table. A quiet man that was picked to be a good, subservient underling to Trump and do all the actual President work once in office. A VP pick aimed to bring the party together without stealing Trump's thunder.
Weaknesses: A dreadfully boring man whose politics left the realm of the American moderate a few years ago. Pence is window dressing for aging Republican holdouts and he knows it.
FAQ
Who are our tragic third-party candidates?
Jill Stein (with running mate Ajamu Baraka) is running on the Green Party ticket, and Gary Johnson (with running mate Bill Weld) is the Libertarian candidate. There's other perennial candidates, such as Vermin Supreme, but I'd be here all day rattling off those.
What's a battleground?
A state that is polling more or less in the middle is considered a battleground. Because solidly Republican or Democratic states would require too much time and money to make even a dent in polls, candidates focus on the handful of states that are feasible to turn. Now, this doesn't mean that voting in a "stronghold" state is pointless. After all, many battleground states were at one point or another considered reliable votes for one party or the other, and people do pay attention to shifts in polls even if the overall outcome hasn't quite changed yet.
States "in play" this election include Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Wisconsin. Oh, and apparently Georgia now?
When are the debates?
September 26, 2016
October 4, 2016 (VP)
October 9, 2016
October 19, 2016
When is Election Day?
November 8th, 2016
How long do I have to register to vote?
It varies by state
November 8th is kinda busy for me. Can I vote early?
It varies by state, although some states don't allow for early voting at all.
I want to vote from a safe distance. What are my options for citizens abroad?
This should help you out.
Note that this should also be useful for people who are still in the States but will be in another state/city/etc from wherever they're registered come election day.
Things to Consider Before Posting
- Resist the urge to dogpile unpopular sentiments. If it's really inflammatory then report it.
- Just because somebody is/isn't voting doesn't mean they are personally responsible for the downfall of democracy.
- This is SE++ so don't get hung up on derails.
Previously in the POTUS Thread...
Your mid-August report is basically that of a holding pattern until the election season truly kicks off sometime in September when people start paying closer attention. Trump is maintaining his roughly six-point deficit with no major changes in the polls. There has been a very small uptick for him, but we'll see if this is a meaningful change or just statistical static. Which, to be honest, is kind of amazing when you consider that he implied his supporters should shoot Clinton if she wins in November. His campaign is claiming to do yet another pivot to an actual campaign with weird notions like "dignity" but, if the previous failed resets are any indication, that mostly involves making Trump read off teleprompters until he decides to go off-script again. Trump's campaign is going off the rails so hard that the question seems to be less "Will she win?" and more "So what does a landslide look like?" And his campaign manager, Paul Manafort, has abandoned ship with less than 80 days left til the election, making him another causality in Trump's revolving door campaign team. Look: you know you're fucking up when Georgia is a potential battleground.
Clinton is less interesting unless you're Alex Jones in which case she has literally every disease known to man and is going to die mere days after the election. Unsurprisingly Trump has also made allusions to Clinton's "failing" health, which honestly is bad news for him since I think Clinton's corpse would just poll even stronger. The current cycle for Clinton news is as follows: Wikileaks tells us they got super damning emails, nothing happens, repeat until everyone stops paying attention to Wikileaks. It doesn't help that Wikileaks has had allegations of Russian ties levied against it and, depending on how snug you wear your tinfoil hat, that these are part of Putin's machinations to get Trump in the White House. Not because of any mutual ideology, but probably because Putin would be able to run circles around Trump in the Big Game of Foreign Affairs. Let's put it this way: Clinton has survived everything the GOP has thrown at her for the past three years. There isn't some scandal that they're going to dig up between now and November and win this thing. Expect them to just bring up the old non-scandals and pretend she was guilty after all. If Trump doesn't pivot (and have it stick), all she'll have to do is act like an adult and she'll win.
Would you like to know more? Read the previous threads...
- Bad Hair Day
- Over the Hegemony
- Screams from My Father
- Vice Vice Baby
- A Ring of Liar
- A Day at the Racist
In the Blue Corner...
"Healthy" Hillary Clinton
68 Years Old
Former Secretary of State and Senator
Strengths: A cutthroat politician that doesn't fuck around, which is a requirement if you want to get this far as a woman. Has tied up the minority votes ages ago, and the woman's vote is probably safe. Connections? She keeps popular company. Campaign is top-notch, with some of Obama's old crew on board. In the shitty, weird year that is 2016's rotted landscape, she's the one offering stability and, more importantly, an actual working game plan.
Weaknesses: Has made her far share of Faustian bargains to get here; she's hardly anyone's first choice for president and has kicked up party in-fighting. Sure, everyone and their mother knew the party backed Clinton during the primary, but did you really need DWS on your campaign that badly? Some Bernie Bros aren't going back now. Friendly with wall street, as befitting as person this connected, and we're still not sure if she's all that remorseful about Iraq. Actions speak louder than campaign platitudes, so it's a coin toss as to whether or not she's gotten over her Neocon days in the Middle East.
Tim "We Can Jesuit" Kaine
58 Years Old
Senator, Former Governor of Virginia and DNC Chair
Strengths: Dull, but likable and not going to rock the boat, which is just what the Clinton camp wants. Carries Virginia, which has liked going blue these past few elections, but we're not sure if it like likes it. Willingness to set aside personal views for the good of the country will be seen as a big plus by wishy washy moderates. Popular with Hispanics, as if this ticket hadn't tied up that vote over a year ago.
Weaknesses: A lukewarm candidate for a lukewarm ticket: the thing about safe bets is that you can't expect a big payoff. Voting record may not matter to party members skeptical about his personal politics.
In the Red Corner...
Donald "Second Amendment" Trump
70 Years Old
he's allowed to run
Strengths: No shame; all ego. Trump does not wish to play by the rules, and when you're this far behind there's some kind of argument to be made for throwing hail marys until November. Supporters are loyal to the point of some whitebread cult of fear, taking in every Trumpism as gospel and willing to play in his parody of reality. When you can blame Bush for 9/11, badmouth gold star families, and still not miss a beat...you've effectively got the base hypnotized. It's safe to say that Trump's biggest strength is just how much chaos he has brought into this election. Don't get complacent.
Weaknesses: The GOP base isn't what it used to be. The warning signs that banking on angry white men was a poor invested were happening back in 2008: Republicans needed to switch from the Southern Strategy years ago but they opted for short-term gains by stoking fear of the Black Man in the White House. This let a carnival barker like Trump Kingfish his way in and steal the base from the elites. Now it's 2016, and their candidate kicked off his campaign by pissing off Hispanics. Trump is a throwback to a bygone era: the last gasps of Goldwater's fear engine.
Mike "This is Fine" Pence
57 Years Old
Governor of Indiana
Strengths: He's an old-school moral majority conservative to ensure all of the other old-school moral majority conservatives that Trump will offer them a spot at the kid's table. A quiet man that was picked to be a good, subservient underling to Trump and do all the actual President work once in office. A VP pick aimed to bring the party together without stealing Trump's thunder.
Weaknesses: A dreadfully boring man whose politics left the realm of the American moderate a few years ago. Pence is window dressing for aging Republican holdouts and he knows it.
FAQ
Who are our tragic third-party candidates?
Jill Stein (with running mate Ajamu Baraka) is running on the Green Party ticket, and Gary Johnson (with running mate Bill Weld) is the Libertarian candidate. There's other perennial candidates, such as Vermin Supreme, but I'd be here all day rattling off those.
What's a battleground?
A state that is polling more or less in the middle is considered a battleground. Because solidly Republican or Democratic states would require too much time and money to make even a dent in polls, candidates focus on the handful of states that are feasible to turn. Now, this doesn't mean that voting in a "stronghold" state is pointless. After all, many battleground states were at one point or another considered reliable votes for one party or the other, and people do pay attention to shifts in polls even if the overall outcome hasn't quite changed yet.
States "in play" this election include Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Wisconsin. Oh, and apparently Georgia now?
When are the debates?
September 26, 2016
October 4, 2016 (VP)
October 9, 2016
October 19, 2016
When is Election Day?
November 8th, 2016
How long do I have to register to vote?
It varies by state
November 8th is kinda busy for me. Can I vote early?
It varies by state, although some states don't allow for early voting at all.
I want to vote from a safe distance. What are my options for citizens abroad?
This should help you out.
Note that this should also be useful for people who are still in the States but will be in another state/city/etc from wherever they're registered come election day.
+9
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
@-Tal that's one hell of a post to close a thread with
Failing to get a majority of electoral college delegates means congress picks the president.
Well...
Maybe Utah. It's being really weird this year.
weirder
I can't even do that most of the time!
Does this mean we have to stop shitslinging about Trump's health too?
Because man, that doctor's letter to too good to pass up.
it's the birther issue for this election cycle
His mental capability? Well...
that's not a very good chance though
I think it's fine to mock hilariously fake doctor's letters, but not fine to pivot from there to saying that his health is failing and mocking him for that.
It's Utah, right?
I think turning Utah from Solid R to Leans R/possibly even Toss Up is an amazing achievement of Trump's.
Speculating about his health isn't cool, but making fun of specific things he's said and done is, I think, mandatory.
I could see him taking his own state. A high Hispanic population, and they're not all going to vote Clinton so I could see a high number of Johnson protest votes.
Sadly he seems to be the most sane and realistic of the candidates
The man who wants to eliminate corporate taxes and abolish the IRS is the most sane and realistic candidate?
"The wall just got ten feet higher"
Trump and Johnson aren't the only two candidates.
Fuckin Wyoming.
Should print up a bunch of bibles with Quran covers and sell them to protesters.
I wonder what people think this accomplishes
It keeps the sharia law out, duh
Attention, for starters
Also an un-selfaware affirmation of First Amendment rights
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
I've entertained the idea of Trump being a national version of The Wave, but that's probably just wishful thinking.
I got paid for that.
Lots of people have been paid for time they spent taking a shit
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
Nah. He was kind of a weirdo as governor, and he's only gotten weirder in the years since he left. Most New Mexicans see him as that one friend from high school that you keep as a Facebook friend just to see how crazy they can go. His support for legalizing marijuana will lose him a bunch of conservatives, and his tax policy will lose everyone who knows how taxes work. He'll get some protest votes and probably a pretty good showing among both ranchers and hippies, and name recognition will knock him up a few points. But we're in no danger of him actually carrying the state.
New Mexico is usually a pretty purple state (we voted for every winning President since statehood, except for Bush/including Gore,) but this year it's looking like Clinton by a pretty big margin.