Hello,
I have been playing video games since I was about 6, on and off. Over the years, I have gotten into some pretty hardcore games that I played for over 12 hours a day.
I took a long break from games, didn't really have a computer or system to play them on. I have been going through some depression and one of my symptoms is a lack of interest in things I once enjoyed. So I said, hey, let me get a used computer from my friend. Took me trying a few games, but I finally found a few that could keep my interest.
Well, I got addicted to them. I wasn't playing them nearly as much as I did in the past (maybe 2-4 hours per day.) I was trying to limit myself so that it didn't take over my life.
However, even playing this much started to get to me. Gaming started leading to little depressions that would hit after I stopped a gaming session. For example, I would get intensely into a game for an hour and a half and then walk around the block. On my walk I just felt this overwhelming depression: dull, anxious, worried, guilty, dampened. Definitely feels like something is going on with my brain chemistry. It's hard to describe, but it lasts for a little while and I am unsure if it has long term consequences.
The second negative effect the gaming would have on me is that I would think and obsess about the game when I wasn't playing it. This might happen when I'm driving, walking, trying to get to sleep, or talking to someone. It stresses me out.
Lastly is sleep. A lack thereof. I started waking up early because I was thinking about playing the game. At first, this was a warm welcome, as I have been sleeping for 12 hours for months. So I was like, hey, here is a positive aspect of my gaming. But when I realized I am waking up after 5 hours of sleep stressing out, that's not good. I need more sleep than that.
So I took the day off yesterday from playing games, to think about it, and get some advice. Found these forums, and hope I can get some advice here.
It would probably be in my best interest to stop, but it's hard to let go, as I have been gaming for so long and I get so much enjoyment out of it. I just wish I didn't have to deal with these negative effects. I see other people playing games and they are fine. I am also a recovering alcoholic, and it reminds me of a line from the book: "It is the great obsession of every alcoholic to be able to one day drink like a normal drinker." Maybe that pertains to me and video games. Me wanting to play games like other people and live a normal life without the negative consequences of the addiction, maybe that is just a dream I have that will never come true. Maybe it is time to let go of my dear old friend.
Any advice appreciated,
Thanks,
Ryan
Posts
I think you need to talk to a therapist and get more in depth help than this forum is going to realistically be able to provide
No worries, I have a therapist and a psych doctor and we talk in depth about this stuff. Just looking for advice from everyday people.
As far as practical advice, have you tried playing board games or roleplaying games instead? They give some of the same intricacies and puzzles that your brain craves, but it might help wean you off video games while also forcing you to interact with other people. It might be a bit of "nicotine gum" for a tobacco addiction, but it could help.
What you are describing is very common for depression, especially with a history of substance abuse. Know that you aren't alone, and that many people struggle with this.
Yes it may be related to the depression I am going through right now.
This sounds like a new age-y rub crystals on yourself take on VR and seems like terrible advice. 'Eventually your depression goes away' ???
I dabbled in a couple old MMORPGS I have enjoyed in the past, and was able to get interested. But they were way too much for me to handle.
I settled on Skyrim, for 2-3 hours a day. I don't obsess on it as much as the MMORPGs, but I still get that depression after I play.
You'll still be obsessed, but being obsessed about sports leads to healthy exercise, and it gets you out there interacting with people face to face. Even solo sports like running, biking, or kayaking have lots of meet up groups associated with them, to push you along.
I was addicted to WoW for a couple years (10+ hours a day). When I decided enough was enough I started working out and exercising. Good chemicals are released in your body when you exercise. It can be somewhat addictive too. Maybe try playing sports, lifting weights, going for run/walks, whatever. I know exercising isn't the end-all, be-all answer, but its amazing how many benefits it can lead to in life.
You said you have a therapist so I assume you are taking whatever medication is prescribed to you too.
I have regular therapy sessions and I take medication for my brain issues. Both of those things are essential. Here's what I've done on top of that to manage symptoms:
Obviously ignore any of this that doesn't sound helpful. My situation is different from yours
Talk with your therapist.
Also there's a very good chance some of the people you play with will have had or still have the same problems you have, I would wager your therapist would be onboard with this idea too
I didn't realize this was a gaming forum, I just google searched for advice forums...but I honestly don't care as there have been many helpful people here, thanks @Tube.
I don't think anyone is saying that VR has magical healing properties but rather that physical activity is a proven, effective counter to depression in many cases. Cardio is boring though and if you can find a way to gamify exercise that sounds like a win-win. I have a hard time wanting to do straight cardio for more than twenty minutes, but I could play Dance Dance Revolution (I am very old) to the very limits of my physical endurance. Getting a lot of exercise has the added bonus of making it easier to want to go to bed on time and staying asleep for the whole night.
I'd also recommend looking at your diet and taking a vitamin if you're not already. It's a quick, easy fix that can start having a noticeable effect in only a couple of days. Anything to keep your energy levels up as feeling energetic can help you resist the temptation to give in to your addiction.
Here's an exercise: do a little introspection into why you like to play video games and why it makes you feel happy. For me, it gives me some joy of mastery and control, and it allows me to play out experiences I believe I will never see in life.
I believe when you get sad while taking walks, you are actually doing this, but you don't get anywhere since it'seems too painful and makes you just want to game the pain away. If you write it down, you'll actually be able to complete a thought and reach some conclusions and things you should do instead of continually revving your guilt meter.
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
As a teenager and into my twenties, I was severely addicted to games, to the point that they dominated all of my thoughts. Eventually, I fell into a deep depression when I lost my first full time job (partly because of games). My doctor prescribed some medication to deal with chemical aspect of the depression, but, as you yourself have noticed, this also seemed to sap my enjoyment of the things I used to love (i.e. games).
What I found helped me get through this period is relying on my reasoning skills. After I became aware that depression is a chemical imbalance that was not simply due to unreasonable emotions, I became aware that I could recognize when I was experiencing a bad moment and manage it accordingly. Practically, what that meant was that, when I felt a bad moment coming on, I would endeavor to work through it, typically by setting some small goal.
For example:
"Ok RomUnd, not feeling so hot right now, time to get off the couch and get something done. Let's try doing the dishes/laundry, going out for a walk/applying for that job".
By working on actively recognizing when your brain is being a butt, and trying to force yourself to be "productive", I feel that I was able to overcome the feeling of malaise and replace it with a feeling of accomplishment.
Eventually, I learned to stop depending on and obsessing about games as a substitution for dealing with my depressive thoughts, and have since developed a healthy relationship with them. I still love games, but I also recognize when it's time to take a break and do something else.
I hope this helps, in some small way, and take care out there!
You just need to make sure you're still taking care of yourself in the process, and it sounds like you have most of that under control these days.
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
I think these little depressions I feel after playing are definitely chemical. I could be wrong. I have never been very good at identifying my thoughts, so CBT has never been very effective for me, the idea that thoughts lead to feelings. I can't really identify any thoughts when I am walking around the neighborhood with this depressed mood, it just "feels" like I am depressed, feels very chemical.
I saw my psychiatrist the other day, and I asked to be put on a small dose of antidepressant that worked before. He was ok with it. I was actually going to ask for this before I started gaming again two weeks ago, as I had been experiencing a lot of the symptoms of depression - excessive sleep, loss of interest, loss of motivation, lack of concentration...
I might have mentioned this already, but I am bipolar. It seems these games affect me when I am in a depressed state. On the opposite end of the spectrum, when I am hypomanic (or God forbid, manic), I don't ruminate over the games as much and they don't lend to this dampened mood.
Anyway, I'm not going to give up on gaming just yet. I know total abstinence might be a good idea, but I just enjoy playing games.
Someone asked why I enjoy them. Well first of all, they are just fun. I also like developing and progressing a character. It gives me something to do. It lets me live in a fantasy world I will never experience in the real world.
So, I will try to play Skyrim for a few hours a day and see how it affects me, and see if this anti-depressant helps at all. I quit Facebook (which I was spending A LOT of time on), so I have some free time, and if I don't fill it all with games, maybe I can start squeezing in some productive activities.
I will keep a close eye on if it affects my job performance.
I want to be able to play games like other people, have them as a healthy, balanced part of my life.
Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
Well yeah, I didn't say I was only on an antidepressant. Trust me, I have been playing the med game for ten years.
Maybe because it is so distracting from driving. What's interesting though is I usually have anxiety on the way to work. This was replaced by a different kind of anxiety: thinking about the game. It really bothers me for some reason.
Will explore this with therapist. If I can get a hold on the obsessing, I am one step closer to gaming in a more healthy fashion.
Going to see if I can quit for a few days and see if I feel any better/different.
Still not giving up on this: I love my gaming.
Treat Video games as a reward type thing, where you aren't allowed to touch them unless you've accomplished X things that day already.
( She did this with Pot)
I'm just not at a good spot in my life to game right now I guess. So I gave them up. I still wish I could play and was even tempted to last night, but I just had to keep reminding myself how they make me feel and how it will probably happen again if I play.
Will I try to play again? Probably. Will I meet the same results or be able to handle it differently? Maybe.
Thanks for all your advice and support.
I don't know if this is possible for you, but when I joined a martial arts gym my several hours a day gaming habit dropped to almost zero. So if you can, substitute in some exercise. The physical activity made me feel great, but also the encouragement of everyone else at the gym has had a really positive effect mentally. It might not work for everyone but it certainly helped me so I'd recommend giving it a try.
Do... Re... Mi... So... Fa.... Do... Re.... Do...
Forget it...
I would be interested in that, as I have done a little martial arts in the past. I really need to pick up some hobbies or something, because all I do now besides work is chatting with people and being on Facebook. This year, I have given up nicotine, alcohol, and most recently gaming and caffeine, so I am ok with hanging on to Facebook for now, but I could really use getting into some other things.
You already have everything you need. Use it.
Clarification: I'm not addicted to video games, but I have dealt with other addictions. In my personal experience, the solution is very similar regardless of the addiction. There are also fellowships that deal exclusively with video game addiction like OLGA (www.olganon.org). Good luck, easy does it, one day at a time, et cetera!
Most of all, be well.
Oh yes, one more thing, if you have a sponsor in your other program, this would be an excellent thing to run past him/her. That's all I have for now. Best wishes, and good vibes.