DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited June 2022
last night I watched The Mule, in which Clint Eastwood is just this old bumbling man whose family hates him and he sort of accidentally becomes a drug mule.
anyway, it was done at like, 1:30 am and I was driving the back way home, because it was crisp and the night time air smelled awesome. all of a sudden it is not awesome, it's that weird like, foul-sweet smell of rotting meat, the kind that you're certain would sink into your clothes, into your skin, and you'd never get rid of it.
a couple of seconds later, I noticed a guy walking on the shoulder of the road, and as I get closer, he turns and his eyes shined like a cat, or an owl, and he was carrying a deer in his arms. I was repulsed, and almost instinctively, floored it past him, totally avoiding looking at him.
right after I get past him, the smell goes away and it's back to cold fresh nature.
Isn't it kind of worrisome that there are discarded texts from the Bible? Also, they twist things around and edit the translations too.
You really don't get a straight up Bible and then you have this whole religion around it.
Then, you have all the stuff that is questionable by modern society.
There are a lot of versions of the bible used by various religions, and some books re-written when King James got his people to do their shit, with others just removed wholesale.
Turns out, trusting Man with the Word of God turns out bad!
last night I watched The Mule, in which Clint Eastwood is just this old bumbling man whose family hates him and he sort of accidentally becomes a drug mule.
anyway, it was done at like, 1:30 am and I was driving the back way home, because it was crisp and the night time air smelled awesome. all of a sudden it is not awesome, it's that weird like, foul-sweet smell of rotting meat, the kind that you're certain would sink into your clothes, into your skin, and you'd never get rid of it.
a couple of seconds later, I noticed a guy walking on the shoulder of the road, and as I get closer, he turns and his eyes shined like a cat, or an owl, and he was carrying a deer in his arms. I was repulsed, and almost instinctively, floored it past him, totally avoiding looking at him.
right after I get past him, the smell goes away and it's back to cold fresh nature.
Human eyes don't do that...
Calica on
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
last night I watched The Mule, in which Clint Eastwood is just this old bumbling man whose family hates him and he sort of accidentally becomes a drug mule.
anyway, it was done at like, 1:30 am and I was driving the back way home, because it was crisp and the night time air smelled awesome. all of a sudden it is not awesome, it's that weird like, foul-sweet smell of rotting meat, the kind that you're certain would sink into your clothes, into your skin, and you'd never get rid of it.
a couple of seconds later, I noticed a guy walking on the shoulder of the road, and as I get closer, he turns and his eyes shined like a cat, or an owl, and he was carrying a deer in his arms. I was repulsed, and almost instinctively, floored it past him, totally avoiding looking at him.
right after I get past him, the smell goes away and it's back to cold fresh nature.
Human eyes don't do that...
Normally no, maybe they had cataracts or something
Isn't it kind of worrisome that there are discarded texts from the Bible? Also, they twist things around and edit the translations too.
You really don't get a straight up Bible and then you have this whole religion around it.
Then, you have all the stuff that is questionable by modern society.
Nah. There's always been discarded texts going back from before there was a canon.
Not like people forgot about it either. Gnostic sects kept popping up and getting beat down for over a thousand years!
Now, you want some real out-of-left-field concepts, gnosticism reads like they got a fantasy writer to rewrite the bible, but they didn't read the language it was written in. Names are there, it's just completely different.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
what was that one heresy that claimed we were actually worshipping the devil? Like the god of the Christian Bible was actually Satan and had fooled everyone.
what was that one heresy that claimed we were actually worshipping the devil? Like the god of the Christian Bible was actually Satan and had fooled everyone.
Maybe a sect of gnostics? Very broadly the idea is that there is a Supreme Being who is immaterial and the source of all good. The one who created the material universe, the Demiurge, was only able to make the universe as good as the constituent materials allow (Materiality being a limited state is big part of gnosticism).
Because there's no real continuity over the long lifespan of gnosticism it's hard to pin down to a single canon. But there's definitely a few past sects that made the mistake of preaching that the God of the Bible was the demiurge, and thus earned extra special attention from the Catholic Church.
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
what was that one heresy that claimed we were actually worshipping the devil? Like the god of the Christian Bible was actually Satan and had fooled everyone.
Cathar/ Albigensian crusade? The cathars didn’t think god was satan, just cruel for creating humans into a place of suffering similar to the demiurge, and that there was a higher being
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
I've seen some Catholics get pissed when Gnosticism was brought up.
they're definitely still holding a grudge over the whole Demiurge thing.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
what was that one heresy that claimed we were actually worshipping the devil? Like the god of the Christian Bible was actually Satan and had fooled everyone.
Cathar/ Albigensian crusade? The cathars didn’t think god was satan, just cruel for creating humans into a place of suffering similar to the demiurge, and that there was a higher being
I think that's the one I was thinking of actually!
I must have been daydreaming through that class in CCD.
Lol, I never heard of it either. And I had parents who introduced me to a lot of weird Catholic concepts. My favorite from those teaches is the book The Prophets and Our Times, probably my first introduction to horror and explains why I like horror so much now. It's about end times and "the coming chastisement." Damn I kinda want to get the kindle edition now to read that stuff again.
Edit: Oh sweet, I already own the kindle edition!
Cambiata on
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I remember getting in extremely lots of trouble in 8th grade. I went to a Catholic school that year, and I knew very little about Catholicism. Anyway, we had a sister from the neighboring church come in to give a sermon, and she decided to talk about penitence and confession and why they were important, and then at the end asked for questions. I didn't think my question was that complicated, but it did get me kicked out of class and I found out later they thought about expelling me for it? Which seems overreactive, but whatever. The question?
"Didn't Jesus die for our sins? Isn't it a bit pretentious to say that a priest has more say in atonement than Jesus?"
I actually still haven't gotten an answer from a Catholic on that one that doesn't sound stupid.
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
*Martin Luther intensifies*
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
I remember getting in extremely lots of trouble in 8th grade. I went to a Catholic school that year, and I knew very little about Catholicism. Anyway, we had a sister from the neighboring church come in to give a sermon, and she decided to talk about penitence and confession and why they were important, and then at the end asked for questions. I didn't think my question was that complicated, but it did get me kicked out of class and I found out later they thought about expelling me for it? Which seems overreactive, but whatever. The question?
"Didn't Jesus die for our sins? Isn't it a bit pretentious to say that a priest has more say in atonement than Jesus?"
I actually still haven't gotten an answer from a Catholic on that one that doesn't sound stupid.
I feel like this one isn't too difficult, really? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
Think about in your daily life, if you have a friend who's like, super forgiving and magnanimous (imagine such a person if you don't know one). One day you get into an argument with them and say or do something rude. After calming down and sleeping on it, you go to them and apologize, and they smile and say, "you're forgiven, I know you didn't mean it." and then it's all good, you don't feel guilty anymore and your friend doesn't feel hurt anymore.
That's all confession is really, it's going up to God and asking him to forgive you for something you did that hurt Him. The priest is only there as a stand-in for Jesus, because Jesus ain't living on earth anymore for you to talk to. It's not like a priest ever says, "nope, you aren't forgiven." The answer is literally always "you're forgiven", as long as you ask. The priest isn't doing anything particularly special except saying the words.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
According to Dan Brown who is definitely an authority on Roman Catholicism, the Opus Dei cult says you are not forgiven until you thrash your body into a bloody pulp.
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
In horror movies, they will do the thing where he priest starts saying disturbing stuff in the confession box.
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
There's an old thriller called "I Confess" where the main plot is a guy confesses to murdering someone, and the priest goes through a lot because he wants to tell the police he knows who murdered the dude, but isn't allowed to speak about what anyone says during confession. As a kid, I always wondered why he didn't just say to the guy, right at the start of the film, "you're forgiven, and your penance is to go tell the police what you did."
Most of the time your penance is like "say a Hail Mary and an Our Father," but one time I did get a penance that was "tell your mother that you love her." I was an introverted teenager who almost never said those words to anyone, it was the hardest penance I ever got.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
As a person raised a good Midwestern Lutheran I would rather slam my hand in a car door than tell anyone anything about my despicable filthy sins. That's what repression is for.
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
As a person raised a good Midwestern Lutheran I would rather slam my hand in a car door than tell anyone anything about my despicable filthy sins. That's what repression is for.
If you think telling it to one guy in a confessional is bad, the original version of confession had people saying all of their sins in front of the community - back when a Christian community could be like, under 100 people. That way you could truly show that you regretted it, by telling everyone you know and loved that you did it and was sorry. On the one hand I could see how that might help you from backsliding, because of how embarrassing it would be to tell the whole community every week, "yeah, I stole grapes again, sorry." On the other hand, I feel like a lot of people would just fail to confess things that are too embarrassing or shameful. No one wants to be the guy talking about how he paid a lady in town to suck his dick when his wife and kids are right there to hear about it.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
Look can I just opt in for the Christianity that results in giant angels assaulting the last bastions of mankind which are protected only by gigantic robots powered by puberty?
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
As a person raised a good Midwestern Lutheran I would rather slam my hand in a car door than tell anyone anything about my despicable filthy sins. That's what repression is for.
If you think telling it to one guy in a confessional is bad, the original version of confession had people saying all of their sins in front of the community - back when a Christian community could be like, under 100 people. That way you could truly show that you regretted it, by telling everyone you know and loved that you did it and was sorry. On the one hand I could see how that might help you from backsliding, because of how embarrassing it would be to tell the whole community every week, "yeah, I stole grapes again, sorry." On the other hand, I feel like a lot of people would just fail to confess things that are too embarrassing or shameful. No one wants to be the guy talking about how he paid a lady in town to suck his dick when his wife and kids are right there to hear about it.
The Mennonite community I grew up in the middle of still does that! One of the kids we hired to drive tractor for us got caught by his dad listening to the radio (they all own tractors but remove the stereos) and he had to get up in front of the congregation and confess it to everyone.'
Nice folks. Always treated us well, even though we were Catholics and they believed the Pope was the literal antichrist. Made bangin' burgers and donuts at the general store.
I remember getting in extremely lots of trouble in 8th grade. I went to a Catholic school that year, and I knew very little about Catholicism. Anyway, we had a sister from the neighboring church come in to give a sermon, and she decided to talk about penitence and confession and why they were important, and then at the end asked for questions. I didn't think my question was that complicated, but it did get me kicked out of class and I found out later they thought about expelling me for it? Which seems overreactive, but whatever. The question?
"Didn't Jesus die for our sins? Isn't it a bit pretentious to say that a priest has more say in atonement than Jesus?"
I actually still haven't gotten an answer from a Catholic on that one that doesn't sound stupid.
I feel like this one isn't too difficult, really? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
Think about in your daily life, if you have a friend who's like, super forgiving and magnanimous (imagine such a person if you don't know one). One day you get into an argument with them and say or do something rude. After calming down and sleeping on it, you go to them and apologize, and they smile and say, "you're forgiven, I know you didn't mean it." and then it's all good, you don't feel guilty anymore and your friend doesn't feel hurt anymore.
That's all confession is really, it's going up to God and asking him to forgive you for something you did that hurt Him. The priest is only there as a stand-in for Jesus, because Jesus ain't living on earth anymore for you to talk to. It's not like a priest ever says, "nope, you aren't forgiven." The answer is literally always "you're forgiven", as long as you ask. The priest isn't doing anything particularly special except saying the words.
Look can I just opt in for the Christianity that results in giant angels assaulting the last bastions of mankind which are protected only by gigantic robots powered by puberty?
Get in the fucking robot, Jesus
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
okay so I have acne pretty bad, I guess it's my acne's revenge for not showing up until I turned like, 19.
I had a dream last night that I got vicious on a pimple, like that scene from Poltergeist when that guy's face falls off?
except I dug a big hole in my cheek and I could reach into it, but I wasn't reaching into my head or mouth, it was like, some big empty space
I was looking at it in the mirror at the hole and a face like, strobed past the opening and I screamed in the dream so loud it woke me up
Look can I just opt in for the Christianity that results in giant angels assaulting the last bastions of mankind which are protected only by gigantic robots powered by puberty?
Get in the fucking robot, Jesus
It would be great if there was a skit that did that. The closest thing is the Mega 64 skit.
Posts
Jesus Threw First
anyway, it was done at like, 1:30 am and I was driving the back way home, because it was crisp and the night time air smelled awesome. all of a sudden it is not awesome, it's that weird like, foul-sweet smell of rotting meat, the kind that you're certain would sink into your clothes, into your skin, and you'd never get rid of it.
a couple of seconds later, I noticed a guy walking on the shoulder of the road, and as I get closer, he turns and his eyes shined like a cat, or an owl, and he was carrying a deer in his arms. I was repulsed, and almost instinctively, floored it past him, totally avoiding looking at him.
right after I get past him, the smell goes away and it's back to cold fresh nature.
There are a lot of versions of the bible used by various religions, and some books re-written when King James got his people to do their shit, with others just removed wholesale.
Turns out, trusting Man with the Word of God turns out bad!
Human eyes don't do that...
spookems
Normally no, maybe they had cataracts or something
Nah. There's always been discarded texts going back from before there was a canon.
Not like people forgot about it either. Gnostic sects kept popping up and getting beat down for over a thousand years!
Now, you want some real out-of-left-field concepts, gnosticism reads like they got a fantasy writer to rewrite the bible, but they didn't read the language it was written in. Names are there, it's just completely different.
Maybe a sect of gnostics? Very broadly the idea is that there is a Supreme Being who is immaterial and the source of all good. The one who created the material universe, the Demiurge, was only able to make the universe as good as the constituent materials allow (Materiality being a limited state is big part of gnosticism).
Because there's no real continuity over the long lifespan of gnosticism it's hard to pin down to a single canon. But there's definitely a few past sects that made the mistake of preaching that the God of the Bible was the demiurge, and thus earned extra special attention from the Catholic Church.
Cathar/ Albigensian crusade? The cathars didn’t think god was satan, just cruel for creating humans into a place of suffering similar to the demiurge, and that there was a higher being
they're definitely still holding a grudge over the whole Demiurge thing.
I think that's the one I was thinking of actually!
I think so?
It’s was primarily motivated by southern French lords kinda telling the church to jog on and the pope going ‘well actually’
Do not bring up Gnosticism around Catholics. And lord help you if you mention Origen of Alexandria
yeah we might have to break out our stands or something
Lol, I never heard of it either. And I had parents who introduced me to a lot of weird Catholic concepts. My favorite from those teaches is the book The Prophets and Our Times, probably my first introduction to horror and explains why I like horror so much now. It's about end times and "the coming chastisement." Damn I kinda want to get the kindle edition now to read that stuff again.
Edit: Oh sweet, I already own the kindle edition!
"Didn't Jesus die for our sins? Isn't it a bit pretentious to say that a priest has more say in atonement than Jesus?"
I actually still haven't gotten an answer from a Catholic on that one that doesn't sound stupid.
I feel like this one isn't too difficult, really? Maybe I'm misunderstanding you.
Think about in your daily life, if you have a friend who's like, super forgiving and magnanimous (imagine such a person if you don't know one). One day you get into an argument with them and say or do something rude. After calming down and sleeping on it, you go to them and apologize, and they smile and say, "you're forgiven, I know you didn't mean it." and then it's all good, you don't feel guilty anymore and your friend doesn't feel hurt anymore.
That's all confession is really, it's going up to God and asking him to forgive you for something you did that hurt Him. The priest is only there as a stand-in for Jesus, because Jesus ain't living on earth anymore for you to talk to. It's not like a priest ever says, "nope, you aren't forgiven." The answer is literally always "you're forgiven", as long as you ask. The priest isn't doing anything particularly special except saying the words.
Most of the time your penance is like "say a Hail Mary and an Our Father," but one time I did get a penance that was "tell your mother that you love her." I was an introverted teenager who almost never said those words to anyone, it was the hardest penance I ever got.
If you think telling it to one guy in a confessional is bad, the original version of confession had people saying all of their sins in front of the community - back when a Christian community could be like, under 100 people. That way you could truly show that you regretted it, by telling everyone you know and loved that you did it and was sorry. On the one hand I could see how that might help you from backsliding, because of how embarrassing it would be to tell the whole community every week, "yeah, I stole grapes again, sorry." On the other hand, I feel like a lot of people would just fail to confess things that are too embarrassing or shameful. No one wants to be the guy talking about how he paid a lady in town to suck his dick when his wife and kids are right there to hear about it.
The Mennonite community I grew up in the middle of still does that! One of the kids we hired to drive tractor for us got caught by his dad listening to the radio (they all own tractors but remove the stereos) and he had to get up in front of the congregation and confess it to everyone.'
Nice folks. Always treated us well, even though we were Catholics and they believed the Pope was the literal antichrist. Made bangin' burgers and donuts at the general store.
Sure but then Jesus just died for nothing!
Need to restore spooky.
Get in the fucking robot, Jesus
I had a dream last night that I got vicious on a pimple, like that scene from Poltergeist when that guy's face falls off?
except I dug a big hole in my cheek and I could reach into it, but I wasn't reaching into my head or mouth, it was like, some big empty space
I was looking at it in the mirror at the hole and a face like, strobed past the opening and I screamed in the dream so loud it woke me up
It would be great if there was a skit that did that. The closest thing is the Mega 64 skit.