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Bad Food "Thread": Things Man Was Not Meant To Digest

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Posts

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    I generally enjoy shitty hot dogs and sausages, but BAR-S are just the worst. The texture is like sawdust for most of their products.

    also I have found them to be extremely salty, with very little actual meat flavor

  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO ROLLING STAAAAAAAAAAAAART Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    I don't know why you're putting scare quotes around sausages

    sausages are historically made from pretty heinous cuts of meat. If anything, a fancy hoity toity sausage is less of an "actual" sausages than something made from offcuts and filler

    It might seem a bit classist, but the BAR-S package of 14 sausages for $4 fills with me some doubt on how sausage-like their sausages can be when compared to a package of five to six Hillshire sausages with spices & such in them for a much higher price point.

    I just don't think you can use "Sausage-like" as a declaration of quality

    sausages can be made out of anything! being cheap and shitty certainly doesn't make it not a sausage.

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  • SorceSorce Registered User regular

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  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle my name is kevin Registered User regular

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Our local butcher has won multiple awards for his sausages. And rightly so, they're very good.

  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular

    I know it's late night commericals but the middle toy looks like a blood clot filter
    Which I got curious about and learned that someone messed up really bad and the company has poor quality control

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  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Zonugal was this the same night you posted a picture of SIX HOT DOGS and a bunch of PBR? Because can I just say, I know this thread is a judgment-free zone, but uhh, the hot dog itself may not be the culprit here.

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  • ZonugalZonugal Registered User regular
    Zonugal was this the same night you posted a picture of SIX HOT DOGS and a bunch of PBR? Because can I just say, I know this thread is a judgment-free zone, but uhh, the hot dog itself may not be the culprit here.

    Nah, I felt great after that night.

    Those were Hillshire sausages which treat my body with tender love & care.

    ALSO, YOU JUDGING MY LIFESTYLE!?!?!

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    POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Zonugal was this the same night you posted a picture of SIX HOT DOGS and a bunch of PBR? Because can I just say, I know this thread is a judgment-free zone, but uhh, the hot dog itself may not be the culprit here.

    Nah, I felt great after that night.

    Those were Hillshire sausages which treat my body with tender love & care.

    ALSO, YOU JUDGING MY LIFESTYLE!?!?!

    No, the Mario Party rankings do that for us.

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  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Did somebody say sausages?

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  • ZonugalZonugal Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Zonugal was this the same night you posted a picture of SIX HOT DOGS and a bunch of PBR? Because can I just say, I know this thread is a judgment-free zone, but uhh, the hot dog itself may not be the culprit here.

    Nah, I felt great after that night.

    Those were Hillshire sausages which treat my body with tender love & care.

    ALSO, YOU JUDGING MY LIFESTYLE!?!?!

    No, the Mario Party rankings do that for us.

    large.png

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  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular


    Someone made something just for @Veldrin

    19904925_10212110475210016_877199487209228783_n.jpg?oh=da06b077303b0c8114ab8b0fbb667c4f&oe=59C4B278

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  • PeasPeas Registered User regular
    mmq1199ankhx.jpg

    chromdomMichaelLCKwoaruBlankzillaSlacker71jgeisZonugalCommander ZoomAlexandierMego ThorAndy JoeA Dabble Of TheloniusRobonunNotoriusBEN
  • JedocJedoc That citation you've neededRegistered User regular
    Oh, no.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    bowenSorceNotoriusBEN
  • KwoaruKwoaru Registered User regular
    no foil on the bottom of that oven

    gonna be a bad time cleaning that up

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    foil...

    on the bottom of the oven?

    Ladies.
    POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANKaplar
  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    this is your semi regular reminder that using aluminum foil as a liner for ovens and range tops is a fire hazard

    don't do it.

    zkHcp.jpg
    bowenBahamutZEROSlacker71tynicDouglasDangerchrishallett83A Dabble Of Thelonius
  • KwoaruKwoaru Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    foil...

    on the bottom of the oven?

    for to catch the cheese and such as it melts off of ones pizzas and what not

    cause screw cleaning an oven

    chromdom
  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    Kwoaru wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    foil...

    on the bottom of the oven?

    for to catch the cheese and such as it melts off of ones pizzas and what not

    cause screw cleaning an oven

    Yo as someone that worked in appliance product safety, don't do this.

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I just put a baking tray underneath anything that's being cooked directly on the oven shelf

    Another successful post, thanks to the power of Spacestar Ordering™!
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  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle my name is kevin Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Zonugal was this the same night you posted a picture of SIX HOT DOGS and a bunch of PBR? Because can I just say, I know this thread is a judgment-free zone, but uhh, the hot dog itself may not be the culprit here.

    Nah, I felt great after that night.

    Those were Hillshire sausages which treat my body with tender love & care.

    ALSO, YOU JUDGING MY LIFESTYLE!?!?!

    i have seen how you live

    i will judge you

    35b6mo4.png
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    Kwoaru wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    foil...

    on the bottom of the oven?

    for to catch the cheese and such as it melts off of ones pizzas and what not

    cause screw cleaning an oven

    Yo as someone that worked in appliance product safety, don't do this.

    I usually just wrap the heating elements in kerosene-soaked cheesecloth.

    Coincidentally, anyone know how to disable smoke alarms?!

    V1mAuralynx
  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    Kwoaru wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    foil...

    on the bottom of the oven?

    for to catch the cheese and such as it melts off of ones pizzas and what not

    cause screw cleaning an oven

    Yo as someone that worked in appliance product safety, don't do this.

    I usually just wrap the heating elements in kerosene-soaked cheesecloth.

    Coincidentally, anyone know how to disable smoke alarms?!

    People have tried to dry oil-soaked rags in a clothes dryer, without washing them first.

    People are not the smartest.

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Way to dodge my question about smoke alarms! I'll just let the batteries run out.

  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Way to dodge my question about smoke alarms! I'll just let the batteries run out.

    Oh, just cover them with kerosene soaked rags.

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  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    I just buy a dedicated oven liner that I can lay on the bottom of the oven underneath the electric coil 24/7 and then replace in months/years once it's coated in enough crap that I can smell it burning whenever I preheat my oven

  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Or use a baking tray?

    Like the easiest answer is just there.

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    Or use a baking tray?

    Like the easiest answer is just there.

    And also just give the bottom of the oven a quick wipe with a damp kitchen cloth every time after you use it. It takes 5 seconds.

  • FearghaillFearghaill Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    Yo if you're not sucking a hot drink through your tim tam you're not actually experiencing Tim tams fyi

    if you're not sure how, Natalie Imbruglia will teach you:

    #pipechrishallett83Slacker71
  • chromdomchromdom That One Oh yeah, I movedRegistered User regular
    I had a housemate during college who liked to make calzones. Incidentally, we lived in a not-great neighborhood, and so left our bbq in the kitchen.
    Anyway, Paul (the housemate) makes his calzone, but it's not sealed up real well, and is dripping cheese down onto the bottom of the hot oven. I yell at him for a quick second about it, but, unbeknownst to me, he doesn't put anything down.
    So the house fills with smoke, it's disgusting, we have the windows open, I'm hollering at him about putting foil down, it's just an ordeal.
    I got to my room, and a few minutes later, there's a real loud banging on the front door. I'm already pissed off, so I'm not in the mood to put up with some jackass salesman hammering our door. My attitude changed when I saw the crew of firemen in full dress on our front porch.
    "Paulie! It's for you..." Paul sticks his head around the corner with a big smile on his face 'cause hey, he got a tasty calzone and now a visitor. I can still remember the smile just instantly melting.
    Neighbor had called the FD 'cause they thought we were bar-be-queing in the kitchen.

    Always put something down to catch melting cheese, and never keep your bbq in the kitchen. Thus endeth the lessons.

    Oh ya, I still give him some, just he goes savage on it, doesn't with any other food, little cannibal
    The Hanged ManSlacker71
  • JedocJedoc That citation you've neededRegistered User regular
    When I was just a wee college freshman, I tried to make some Bagel Bites in my dorm room at around midnight (you see, when pizza is on a bagel, society's tyrannical insistence on "normal" meal times no longer apply.) I popped them in the microwave and set the timer for two and a half minutes, as instructed on the box, and then went back to playing Black & White.

    I had inherited the family microwave from my parents when I went off to college, which was manufactured in the mid '80s by a company that no longer exists. It didn't have any power settings, just a timer knob. Apparently over the intervening 20 years, a number of health and safety regulations had altered the default power levels of consumer-grade microwaves. The instructions on the back of the Bagel Bites box were in no way calibrated for the experimental Soviet components inside my microwave oven.

    Shortly after the two minute mark, I began to detect a distressing odor in my dorm room. When I looked through the lead mesh of the microwave door, I saw nine charcoal briquettes emitting a great deal of smoke and, if my memory serves, oddly-colored flames. At this point, the fire alarm went off.

    And that's how I and every other occupant of my dorm building ended up standing in the parking lot in our pajamas at midnight on a cold December Saturday.

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  • FearghaillFearghaill Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    When I was just a wee college freshman, I tried to make some Bagel Bites in my dorm room at around midnight (you see, when pizza is on a bagel, society's tyrannical insistence on "normal" meal times no longer apply.) I popped them in the microwave and set the timer for two and a half minutes, as instructed on the box, and then went back to playing Black & White.

    I had inherited the family microwave from my parents when I went off to college, which was manufactured in the mid '80s by a company that no longer exists. It didn't have any power settings, just a timer knob. Apparently over the intervening 20 years, a number of health and safety regulations had altered the default power levels of consumer-grade microwaves. The instructions on the back of the Bagel Bites box were in no way calibrated for the experimental Soviet components inside my microwave oven.

    Shortly after the two minute mark, I began to detect a distressing odor in my dorm room. When I looked through the lead mesh of the microwave door, I saw nine charcoal briquettes emitting a great deal of smoke and, if my memory serves, oddly-colored flames. At this point, the fire alarm went off.

    And that's how I and every other occupant of my dorm building ended up standing in the parking lot in our pajamas at midnight on a cold December Saturday.

    I had a coworker who was microwaving a pizza pocket of some kind in the kitchen at work and they may have hit the 0 one or two times too many while inputting the time

    Fast-forward to a strange burning smell on the sales floor, a coworker going in to investigate, shouting "holy fuck it's on fire" and running out the front door, while one of the technicians in the back walked in, hauled the microwave off the shelf, carried it (and its burning contents) out the back door and throwing it in the dumpster.

  • BronzeKoopaBronzeKoopa Registered User regular
    I put all my baked frozen bad foods on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Almost nothing sticks to parchment paper compared to foil when you want to lazily reheat frozen trash food in the oven.

    cabsyCaptain Marcus
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    A friend at university accidentally bought an oven-cook chicken escalope when all we had were hobs

    Turns out trying to pan-fry one of those babies from frozen generates enough smoke to set off the smoke alarms in the corridor next to the kitchen

    Another successful post, thanks to the power of Spacestar Ordering™!
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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    When I was just a wee college freshman, I tried to make some Bagel Bites in my dorm room at around midnight (you see, when pizza is on a bagel, society's tyrannical insistence on "normal" meal times no longer apply.) I popped them in the microwave and set the timer for two and a half minutes, as instructed on the box, and then went back to playing Black & White.

    I had inherited the family microwave from my parents when I went off to college, which was manufactured in the mid '80s by a company that no longer exists. It didn't have any power settings, just a timer knob. Apparently over the intervening 20 years, a number of health and safety regulations had altered the default power levels of consumer-grade microwaves. The instructions on the back of the Bagel Bites box were in no way calibrated for the experimental Soviet components inside my microwave oven.

    Shortly after the two minute mark, I began to detect a distressing odor in my dorm room. When I looked through the lead mesh of the microwave door, I saw nine charcoal briquettes emitting a great deal of smoke and, if my memory serves, oddly-colored flames. At this point, the fire alarm went off.

    And that's how I and every other occupant of my dorm building ended up standing in the parking lot in our pajamas at midnight on a cold December Saturday.

    I had a coworker who was microwaving a pizza pocket of some kind in the kitchen at work and they may have hit the 0 one or two times too many while inputting the time

    Fast-forward to a strange burning smell on the sales floor, a coworker going in to investigate, shouting "holy fuck it's on fire" and running out the front door, while one of the technicians in the back walked in, hauled the microwave off the shelf, carried it (and its burning contents) out the back door and throwing it in the dumpster.

    I suspect I've already told this story too many times, but my sister managed to kill a microwave that was both 1) older than me and 2) had survived being dropped down a flight of stairs TWICE during moves, by misreading the instructions for warming up some tortillas for dinner by leaving out the decimal point in 1.5 minutes on "high"...

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited February 17
    Target had bags of 24 Reeses Cups on sale after Valentine's. They're in the freezer and I don't think it's going to survive the weekend.

    MichaelLC on
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  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Target had bags of 24 Reeses Cups on sale after Valentine's. They're in the freezer and I don't think it's going to survive the weekend.

    Oh no, I forgot cheap candy day this year!

    DouglasDangerJayKaos
  • the cheatthe cheat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 17
    more like BAR-F
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Target had bags of 24 Reeses Cups on sale after Valentine's. They're in the freezer and I don't think it's going to survive the weekend.

    Oh no, I forgot cheap candy day this year!

    good news, friend. according to my calculations there will be three more discount candy days this year: easter, halloween, and christmas.

    the cheat on
    Andy JoeI ZimbraMichaelLC
  • Andy JoeAndy Joe Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Target had bags of 24 Reeses Cups on sale after Valentine's. They're in the freezer and I don't think it's going to survive the weekend.

    Oh no, I forgot cheap candy day this year!

    My local Target got cleared out super fast this year, I checked it out after work on the 14th and the only worthwhile things left were these big Hershey's cupid things.

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  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Registered User regular
    It's a cheap candy day miracle! My Target was still pretty stocked so I got a Whitman's sampler, some heart-shaped York patties, and some mini cupcakes.

    I don't know why I love cheap assorted chocolates so much, but I do.

    cabsychromdomAndy JoeMichaelLCthe cheatCommander ZoomlonelyahavaKaplarAngelina
This discussion has been closed.