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[Cards Against Humanity] TRV wins and wrecks it for everyone else.

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Posts

  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    I was always the worst of you

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  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 1
    Prove it @TheRoadVirus Prove that you are the worst of us:

    Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick. (LostNinja :star: )
    Only two things in life are certain: death and Sploosh! (Lucedes)
    Only two things in life are certain: death and Racist ninjas. (Cythraul)
    Only two things in life are certain: death and Shenanigans. (see317)
    Only two things in life are certain: death and Child support payments. (MrLicious)
    Only two things in life are certain: death and GoGurt. (elvenshae)

    chamberlain on
    TheRoadVirus
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Whether you have a penis or not everybody has a stank dick day

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    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    LostNinja
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @LostNinja believes that bathing is for the weak. No one can get close enough to argue.

    Round 26: I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned _____ in grandpa's obituary.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    It was a sad day. A sad, embarrassing day.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 2
    @LostNinja what is Grandma most ashamed of?

    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Genital piercings in grandpa's obituary. (Lucedes)
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The Virginia Tech Massacre in grandpa's obituary. (Cythraul)
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Scalping in grandpa's obituary. (MrTLicious)
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned An itsy-bitsy teeny weenie in grandpa's obituary. (see317)
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The female orgasm in grandpa's obituary. (Elvenshae)
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary. (TheRoadVirus :star: )

    chamberlain on
    see317TheRoadVirus
  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    edited June 2
    He was supposed to get 50 hours of continuous energy, but he only got 50 minutes...
    Then he died
    what I'm saying is the Energy drinks gave him a heart attack and killed him
    poor Grandpa :sad:

    LostNinja on
    camo_sig2.png
    XBox Live: LostNinja05
    TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Top of page continues to be true. @TheRoadVirus is nothing if not consistent.

    Round 27: _____. That's how I want to die.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317

    Choose and perish.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 5
    No stay puft marshmallow man, but still, what did you do @TheRoadVirus ?

    Giving 110%. That's how I want to die. (Elvenshae)
    Taking one for the team. That's how I want to die. (Anialos)
    Cockissimo Fantastico, the legendary lover with the wondrous wang. That's how I want to die. (Lucedes)
    Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet. That's how I want to die. (Cythraul)
    Hot Pockets. That's how I want to die. (LostNinja)
    50,000 volts straight to the nipples. That's how I want to die. (MrTLicious)
    The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die. (see317 :star: )

    chamberlain on
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    I am a fan of good good foods. Please tell me more about your mushed rooms

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    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    see317
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @see317 ate some funny mushrooms and then he died. Or at least he thinks he died. All he knows for sure is that he got the point.

    Round 28: Every step towards _____ gets me a little closer to _____.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus

    This sounds like the first line of a bad country song.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Every step towards me remember to give @Cythraul his new cards gets me a little closer to get cards back from him.

    Cythraul
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 6
    These are the kind of answers that warm my tiny, cold heart. @see317 your judging services, please:

    Every step towards Robots who just want to party gets me a little closer to Testicular torsion. (TheRoadVirus)
    Every step towards Changing a person's mind with logic and facts gets me a little closer to Achieving reproductive success. (Lucedes)
    Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster. (Anialos :star: )
    Every step towards People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is gets me a little closer to Seppuku. (Cythraul)
    Every step towards Teaching a robot to love gets me a little closer to A shiny rock that proves I love you. (MrTLicious)
    Every step towards The rocket launcher gets me a little closer to The American Dream. (Elvenshae)
    Every step towards A visually arresting turtleneck gets me a little closer to Throwing a virgin into a volcano. (LostNinja)

    chamberlain on
    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • see317see317 Taco Count 2017: 61 Registered User regular
    Tough one, but I think the Poophole Loophole to Ass Disaster is going to take the round.

    Now the question is: was that TRV's entry, meaning they take the game?
    If it was possible, I'd also award half points to both robot entries. But, it's not. So we'll put the robopocalypse on hold for now.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    The game continues thanks to @Anialos and his scatalogical brinksmanship.

    Round 29: Come with me on an adventure to the land of _____.

    @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    Safety not guaranteed.

  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    I was the OTHER robot one

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  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 8
    @Anialos is not sure if there are from movie trailers or the guy in the alley who sells pills out of his dirty overcoat:

    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. (LostNinja :star: )
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Painal. (MrTLicious)
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Bourbon pong. (Lucedes)
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Catapults. (Cythraul)
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Firm buttocks. (see317)
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Growing a pair. (Elvenshae)
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Nazis. (TheRoadVirus)

    chamberlain on
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. We also offer weed!

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Those Napa Valley ads are getting really specific. @lostninja is a big fancy man!

    Round 30! One last chance to discard your worthless cards. Post them here we can all laugh at your terrible luck.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

  • MrTLiciousMrTLicious Registered User regular
    Full reset:

    Sugar madness.
    A mouthful of potato salad.
    The ghost of Marlon Brando.
    A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
    Centaurs.
    All the single ladies.
    Wuv.
    Ze Germans.
    A fear-boner.
    Tasteful sideboob.

  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Yeah reset sounds good.

    Shutting the fuck up.
    The smooth, unblemished skin of a child.
    Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.
    Powerful thighs.
    Being able to name all the different kinds of olives.
    Romantic cancer.
    Throwing a virgin into a volcano.
    All of this blood.
    Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
    Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.

    Confusion will be my epitaph
  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    Chugging a lava lamp.
    The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
    Falling into the toilet.
    Eating an entire snowman.
    A sternly-worded letter.
    A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.

    camo_sig2.png
    XBox Live: LostNinja05
  • see317see317 Taco Count 2017: 61 Registered User regular
    I'm going to keep my hand as it is.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    HEART OF THE CARDS
    I play Blue Eyes Wh-
    wait what?
    Oh
    Uh yeah
    Keep

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    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    PURGE!!!

    The World of Warcraft.
    A Molson muscle.
    The Chronicles of Red-Dick.
    Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
    Breeding elves for their priceless semen.
    Sexting.
    Silence.
    At least three ducks.
    Cool, releatable cancer teens.
    Axl Rose.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Getting rid of ...

    The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
    Being waterboarded with Wild Turkey® 101.
    The Underground Railroad.
    The difference between "good touch" and "bad touch."
    Public ridicule.
    A fetus.
    Applying to a new guild.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The Disappearance of Inigo Sharpe: Tomas à Dunsanin
  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    this hand was really bad, i'm dumping most of it.

    Rainbow cumdrops.
    The Yellow Dick Road.
    Wearing your IUD into an MRI.
    Aaron Burr.
    Homeless people.
    Touching the poop.
    The glass ceiling.
    The Google.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Prepare yourself @LostNinja the game could end at any moment. I know how that will make me feel:

    Round 30: The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____, acceptance.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    the game could be over before i use even a single blank!
    powder kept dry until after the war, whoops.

    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 12
    @LostNinja never makes it past stage 2:

    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance. (Cythraul :star: )
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other, acceptance. (Lucedes)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, A death ray, acceptance. (MrTLicious)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees, acceptance. (see317)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Screaming like a maniac, acceptance. (Elvenshae)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Scrubbing under the folds, acceptance. (Anialos)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Three months in the hole, acceptance. (TheRoadVirus)

    chamberlain on
  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    I know I usually require an entire bottle of Jägermeister before I hit the acceptance stage.

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    XBox Live: LostNinja05
  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    the suspense is killing me @chamberlain

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Sorry about that. The game is not over! Cythraul wins the round and I will get the real update done in about an hour.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Cythraul never makes it past stage four. Alcohol induced memory loss will do that to you.

    Round 31: As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?

    @Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    It's good to be the king.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 13
    @Cythraul In your best Mel Brooks impression, please:

    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Cards Against Humanity. (TheRoadVirus)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Unsheathing my massive horse cock. (Lucedes)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? How awesome I am. (Anialos)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A bitch slap. (LostNinja)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A buttload of candy. (see317)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? An overly-enthusiastic prostate exam. (MrTLicious)
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer. (Elvenshae :star: )

    chamberlain on
    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Keeping peasants in line is easy as a motherfucking sorcerer!

    Confusion will be my epitaph
    ElvenshaeLucedes
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    edited June 13
    Cythraul wrote: »
    Keeping peasants in line is easy as a motherfucking sorcerer!



    EDIT: Just, like, the first 10s or so.

    Elvenshae on
    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The Disappearance of Inigo Sharpe: Tomas à Dunsanin
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    As if by magic, @Elvenshae suddenly has more than one point. Sorcery!

    Round 32: In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized _____ in the lab.

    @Anialos @Cythraul @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    Pfft. What do scientists know.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 14
    @Elvenshae was thrown for a loop by what he saw on page five of Scientific American:

    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A sassy black woman in the lab. (LostNinja)
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Some punk-ass little bitch in the lab. (Lucedes)
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized The heart of a child in the lab. (Anialos)
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab. (Cythraul :star: )
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A special snowflake in the lab. (see317)
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Old-people smell in the lab. (TheRoadVirus)
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Man meat in the lab. (MrTLicious)

    chamberlain on
    TheRoadVirus
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