@MrTLicious gets at least three dinners a week by wandering around the supermarket and eating all of the samples. He is also within one point of winning!
Round 33: Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with _____ that requires my immediate attention.
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with The Little Engine That Could that requires my immediate attention. (Gizzy )
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Xena, Warrior Princess that requires my immediate attention. (Cythraul)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time that requires my immediate attention. (Megafrost)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Punching a congressman in the face that requires my immediate attention. (Anialos)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Endless ninjas that requires my immediate attention. (Zombie Hero)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with All the single ladies that requires my immediate attention. (Elvenshae)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Ariana Grande and her sisters Ariana Tall and Ariana Venti that requires my immediate attention. (TheRoadVirus)
Coming in somewhere between The Happening and The Last Airbender, featuring executive producer @Gizzy
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A butt-plug in the shape of a rolled-up copy of the U.S. Constitution had really been A death ray all along. (Elvenshae )
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament had really been Not giving a shit about the Third World all along. (Anialos)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A Mexican child trapped inside of a burrito had really been Freedom all along. (MrTLicious)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform had really been KHAAAAAAAAAN! all along. (Zombie Hero)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A primordial soup and salad bar had really been One thousand Slim Jims all along. (Megafrost)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A burning sensation had really been An unsurprising rash all along. (Cythraul)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Samuel L. Jackson had really been A foul mouth all along. (TheRoadVirus)
That's right, I killed The Hellman's Mayonnaise Corporation. How, you ask? Shaft. (Zombie Hero)
That's right, I killed Dying. How, you ask? Dying alone and in pain. (Gizzy)
That's right, I killed A bunch of snot-nosed, know-it-all twentysomethings. How, you ask? A strong, independent woman who don't need no man. (Anialos )
That's right, I killed The sweet release of death. How, you ask? Balls. (Megafrost)
That's right, I killed Nicolas Cage. How, you ask? Estrogen. (TheRoadVirus)
That's right, I killed Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. How, you ask? Huge, wobbly meat-curtains. (MrTLicious)
Today's round sponsored by the new trailer for Atomic Blonde which you should all go watch. Twice.
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A reason not to commit suicide : the art of living with Moderate-to-severe joint pain." (Elvenshae )
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Mouth sounds : the art of living with Eating an albino." (Gizzy)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A beard longer than 12 inches : the art of living with The Star Wars Universe." (Zombie Hero)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "My own two hands : the art of living with Dick fingers." (Cythraul)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A hot mess : the art of living with Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio." (Megafrost)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Homo milk : the art of living with My dick in your mouth." (MrTLicious)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Uranus : the art of living with Painal." (TheRoadVirus)
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AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
Let's go with the painfully real "A reason not to commit suicide: the art of living with Moderate-to-severe joint pain."
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Cumalot. (Megafrost )
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Friction. (Anialos)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Burning down the White House. (Zombie Hero)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Lumberjack fantasies. (MrTLicious)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Take-backsies. (TheRoadVirus)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Warm, velvety muppet sex. (Gizzy)
Do you have vague, wide-ranging symptoms that could describe literally anyone? Then ask your doctor about Cumalot. Make sure to tell your doctor about all the other medicines we've successfully forced down your throat. Don't take Cumalot if you're pregnant or may become pregnant; nursing; female; under the age of 18; taking MAOIs, NSAIDs, or SRUIs; a nurse; a male over the age of 20; or with alcohol. Don't allow children to touch Cumalot pills.
Cumalot - we're pretty sure it does something! (TM)
Why do I hurt all over? A meat tornado. (Cythraul)
Why do I hurt all over? Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. (Elvenshae)
Why do I hurt all over? The Star Wars Holiday Special. (MrTLicious)
Why do I hurt all over? Game of Thrones spoilers. (Zombie Hero)
Why do I hurt all over? A tossed salad. (Anialos)
Why do I hurt all over? Unfathomable stupidity. (TheRoadVirus )
Why do I hurt all over? Quivering jowls. (Gizzy)
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MegafrostLeader of the DecepticonsRegistered Userregular
Wow these are some strong contenders. Rush Limbaugh, Star Wars Holiday Special and GoT spoilers are all really good...
But I have to go with Unfathomable stupidity because that seems like the "all of the above" option.
The number one answer to this is 'because I have children' so @TheRoadVirus gets to choose the runner up:
Why am I broke? An actual gravy train. (MrTLicious)
Why am I broke? 3.7 billion women. (Anialos)
Why am I broke? Genetically engineered super-soldiers. (Elvenshae)
Why am I broke? Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees. (Cythraul)
Why am I broke? Teenage pregnancy. (Zombie Hero)
Why am I broke? The Great Depression. (Gizzy)
Why am I broke? Congress's flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants. (Megafrost )
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
The gravy train is REALLY close second but yeah thanks a lot Congress. Fucking up all of the everything.
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Mild autism. (Elvenshae)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Weapons-grade plutonium. (Zombie Hero )
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Authentic Mexican cuisine. (Anialos)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given These strange human urges. (TheRoadVirus)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given An unexpected finger in the anus. (MrTLicious)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given A fun, sexy time at a nude beach. (Gizzy)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. (Cythraul)
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MegafrostLeader of the DecepticonsRegistered Userregular
I'm pretty sure in Valhalla you just walk in and get Weapons-grade plutonium. It's like the future.
@Zombie Hero hero proves that having Prime makes you order the strangest shit.
Finally! A service that delivers The Google right to your door. (TheRoadVirus)
Finally! A service that delivers The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir right to your door. (MrTLicious)
Finally! A service that delivers S'more Schnapps right to your door. (Gizzy)
Finally! A service that delivers Smallpox blankets right to your door. (Cythraul)
Finally! A service that delivers Dem lil' critters right to your door. (Anialos)
Finally! A service that delivers My genitals right to your door. (Elvenshae)
Finally! A service that delivers A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid right to your door. (Megafrost )
Posts
Round 33: Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with _____ that requires my immediate attention.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Can anyone catch MrTLicious?
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with The Little Engine That Could that requires my immediate attention. (Gizzy
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Xena, Warrior Princess that requires my immediate attention. (Cythraul)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time that requires my immediate attention. (Megafrost)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Punching a congressman in the face that requires my immediate attention. (Anialos)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Endless ninjas that requires my immediate attention. (Zombie Hero)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with All the single ladies that requires my immediate attention. (Elvenshae)
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with Ariana Grande and her sisters Ariana Tall and Ariana Venti that requires my immediate attention. (TheRoadVirus)
I really like the congressman one as well but the grammar doesn't quite flow
Round 34: In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _____ had really been _____ all along.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Help Shyamalan recapture his former 'glory' with a sequel that no one wants.
Island Name: Felinefine
By the way, it's hard to get to the big twist ending without @Zombie Hero 's cards.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A butt-plug in the shape of a rolled-up copy of the U.S. Constitution had really been A death ray all along. (Elvenshae
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament had really been Not giving a shit about the Third World all along. (Anialos)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A Mexican child trapped inside of a burrito had really been Freedom all along. (MrTLicious)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform had really been KHAAAAAAAAAN! all along. (Zombie Hero)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A primordial soup and salad bar had really been One thousand Slim Jims all along. (Megafrost)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A burning sensation had really been An unsurprising rash all along. (Cythraul)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Samuel L. Jackson had really been A foul mouth all along. (TheRoadVirus)
Island Name: Felinefine
Round 35: That's right, I killed _____. How, you ask? _____.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Just a reminder that most of you have blank cards left. Let's get creative with a CaH themed game of Clue!
@Cythraul
That's right, I killed The Hellman's Mayonnaise Corporation. How, you ask? Shaft. (Zombie Hero)
That's right, I killed Dying. How, you ask? Dying alone and in pain. (Gizzy)
That's right, I killed A bunch of snot-nosed, know-it-all twentysomethings. How, you ask? A strong, independent woman who don't need no man. (Anialos
That's right, I killed The sweet release of death. How, you ask? Balls. (Megafrost)
That's right, I killed Nicolas Cage. How, you ask? Estrogen. (TheRoadVirus)
That's right, I killed Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. How, you ask? Huge, wobbly meat-curtains. (MrTLicious)
Today's round sponsored by the new trailer for Atomic Blonde which you should all go watch. Twice.
Snot-noses twenty something's gotta go. You go, girl!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Round 36: Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "_ : the art of living with _."
@Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Prepare your 'a million little pieces' apologies to Oprah now.
Island Name: Felinefine
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A reason not to commit suicide : the art of living with Moderate-to-severe joint pain." (Elvenshae
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Mouth sounds : the art of living with Eating an albino." (Gizzy)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A beard longer than 12 inches : the art of living with The Star Wars Universe." (Zombie Hero)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "My own two hands : the art of living with Dick fingers." (Cythraul)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "A hot mess : the art of living with Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio." (Megafrost)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Homo milk : the art of living with My dick in your mouth." (MrTLicious)
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "Uranus : the art of living with Painal." (TheRoadVirus)
Island Name: Felinefine
That was my favorite, but this was a stronk round
Round 37: If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is _____.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Chapter two of "A reason not to commit suicide" was very, very interesting.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Cumalot. (Megafrost
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Friction. (Anialos)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Burning down the White House. (Zombie Hero)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Lumberjack fantasies. (MrTLicious)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Take-backsies. (TheRoadVirus)
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is Warm, velvety muppet sex. (Gizzy)
Confusion will be my epitaph
Do you have vague, wide-ranging symptoms that could describe literally anyone? Then ask your doctor about Cumalot. Make sure to tell your doctor about all the other medicines we've successfully forced down your throat. Don't take Cumalot if you're pregnant or may become pregnant; nursing; female; under the age of 18; taking MAOIs, NSAIDs, or SRUIs; a nurse; a male over the age of 20; or with alcohol. Don't allow children to touch Cumalot pills.
Cumalot - we're pretty sure it does something! (TM)
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Round 38: Why do I hurt all over?
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
Presented without comment.
Why do I hurt all over? A meat tornado. (Cythraul)
Why do I hurt all over? Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. (Elvenshae)
Why do I hurt all over? The Star Wars Holiday Special. (MrTLicious)
Why do I hurt all over? Game of Thrones spoilers. (Zombie Hero)
Why do I hurt all over? A tossed salad. (Anialos)
Why do I hurt all over? Unfathomable stupidity. (TheRoadVirus
Why do I hurt all over? Quivering jowls. (Gizzy)
But I have to go with Unfathomable stupidity because that seems like the "all of the above" option.
Round 39: Why am I broke?
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @Zombie Hero
A fitting follow up to unfathomable stupidity.
Why am I broke? An actual gravy train. (MrTLicious)
Why am I broke? 3.7 billion women. (Anialos)
Why am I broke? Genetically engineered super-soldiers. (Elvenshae)
Why am I broke? Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees. (Cythraul)
Why am I broke? Teenage pregnancy. (Zombie Hero)
Why am I broke? The Great Depression. (Gizzy)
Why am I broke? Congress's flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants. (Megafrost
Round 40: In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given _____.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus @Zombie Hero
No mediocre cards allowed!
Tempting.
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Mild autism. (Elvenshae)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Weapons-grade plutonium. (Zombie Hero
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given Authentic Mexican cuisine. (Anialos)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given These strange human urges. (TheRoadVirus)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given An unexpected finger in the anus. (MrTLicious)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given A fun, sexy time at a nude beach. (Gizzy)
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. (Cythraul)
Round 41: Finally! A service that delivers _____ right to your door.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Gizzy @Megafrost @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus
Amazon's drone delivery cannot get here fast enough.
Finally! A service that delivers The Google right to your door. (TheRoadVirus)
Finally! A service that delivers The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir right to your door. (MrTLicious)
Finally! A service that delivers S'more Schnapps right to your door. (Gizzy)
Finally! A service that delivers Smallpox blankets right to your door. (Cythraul)
Finally! A service that delivers Dem lil' critters right to your door. (Anialos)
Finally! A service that delivers My genitals right to your door. (Elvenshae)
Finally! A service that delivers A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid right to your door. (Megafrost