Bonus points to @MrTLicious is he sings his choice:
O Canada, we stand on guard for Black people. (Anialos)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Sarah Palin. (see317)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content. (Lucedes)
O Canada, we stand on guard for The Harlem Globetrotters. (Cythraul)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Hillary Clinton's death stare. (LostNinja)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Puppies! (TheRoadVirus )
O Canada, we stand on guard for Mutually-assured destruction. (Elvenshae)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Sexual humiliation, Evolving a labyrinthine vagina, and, (most importantly) Being a terrible mother. (Elvenshae)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Releasing the Kraken, Poking it with a stick, and, (most importantly) Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds. (LostNinja)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Mouth herpes, A really bad yeast infection, and, (most importantly) Daddy issues. (Lucedes)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit, Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples, and, (most importantly) Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. (Anialos )
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses", An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker, and, (most importantly) I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn®. (MrTLicious)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: A sea of troubles, The swim team, all at once, and, (most importantly) Pooping as quietly as possible. (Cythraul)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: TWENTY MILLION U.S. DOLLARS, Those creamy atheist thighs, and, (most importantly) Bacne. (see317)
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
If there's any activity I truly love it is finding a still open Denny's, getting plastered, and then laying down in the parking lot while pantsless for a good nap
No need for a blindfold @Anialos you need to see these to believe them:
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of My dick in your mouth! (MrTLicious)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers! (Elvenshae)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A cock-gobbling cock-goblin! (LostNinja )
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Pumping out a baby every nine months. (TheRoadVirus)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A blue waffle! (Cythraul)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Shapes and colors! (Lucedes)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Reading the comments! (see317)
chamberlain on
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Well uh. Most of those have a theme to them don't they
@LostNinja had a difficult time getting his E.L. James/J. K. Rowling erotic fan fiction published. The chapter on you know who doing you know what was, well, you know.
Round 11: I love the smell of _____ in the morning.
I am confused by some of these answers. @LostNinja gets to sort them out:
I love the smell of Sniffing glue in the morning. (Cythraul)
I love the smell of A fun, sexy time at a nude beach the morning. (TheRoadVirus)
I love the smell of Cake farts in the morning. (Elvenshae)
I love the smell of Eating together like a god damn family for once in the morning. (Lucedes)
I love the smell of Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage in the morning. (Anialos)
I love the smell of An ether-soaked rag in the morning. (see317 )
I love the smell of A urine-filled bong in the morning. (MrTLicious)
@see317 may not be a bro but he know why bros bro, bro.
A bag of magic beans. High five, bro. (Elvenshae)
The (technically) Virgin Mary. High five, bro. (Cythraul)
Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza. High five, bro. (LostNinja )
An emperor penguin with no sense of shame. High five, bro. (Lucedes)
The muffled cries of an Asian baby girl. High five, bro. (Anialos)
A Planned Parenthood® clinic and non-kosher deli. High five, bro. (MrTLicious)
Ethnic cleansing. High five, bro. (TheRoadVirus)
Very few of those that would be deserving of an honest high five.
Of those few, I think Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza is the most deserving of the honor.
Cause I've seen some Utilikilts, and they got pouches for days, bro.
I must shamefully admit to laughing at the (technically) virgin Mary card much too hard. I showed it to Mrs. Chamberlain and, because she is a much better person than I, didn't get it. @LostNinja is also a much better person than the rest of us. Who doesn't love portable pizza.
Chunks of dead prostitute. Betcha can't have just one! (Lucedes)
The boners of the elderly. Betcha can't have just one! (Cythraul)
Hormone injections. Betcha can't have just one! (Anialos)
The inaudible screams of carrots. Betcha can't have just one! (Elvenshae)
Suicidal thoughts. Betcha can't have just one! (see317)
A disappointing birthday party. Betcha can't have just one! (TheRoadVirus )
@TheRoadVirus needs to get out of the kitchen. Because it is too hot. And he can't stand it.
If you can't handle Bling, you'd better stay away from All these decorative pillows. (Elvenshae)
If you can't handle Riding the struggles bus, you'd better stay away from The South. (Lucedes)
If you can't handle Child Protective Services, you'd better stay away from Bristol Palin. (Anialos)
If you can't handle A magic hippie love cloud, you'd better stay away from That woman. (MrTLicious)
If you can't handle Being paralyzed from the neck down, you'd better stay away from A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else. (see317 )
If you can't handle Being punk in drublic, you'd better stay away from Spring break! (LostNinja)
If you can't handle Mooing, you'd better stay away from Free ice cream, yo. (Cythraul)
There is a true(ish) story that, during the filming of Blade Runner 2049, Ford 'accidently' punched Ryan Gosling in the face. When the medics brought ice for Gosling Ford took it for his hand and walked away.
It is round 15! Time to discard your shit cards by posting them in the thread and I will replace them with the very best cards a random selection will allow.
Dying alone and in pain.
Smoking crack, for instance.
Deflowering the princess.
Smallpox blankets.
You Know Who.
Science.
Pretending to be black.
A subscription to Men's Fitness.
Flesh-eating bacteria.
Exactly what you'd expect.
Think I'm going to keep my hand.
It's got some cards that look weak, but I thought "Neck down paralysis" and "Grumpy Harrison Ford" were pretty weak cards too, until they fit the blanks.
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
My humps.
Fat Man and Little Boy.
Women in yogurt commercials.
Dividing by zero.
Stalin.
God.
A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.
Don Cherry's wardrobe.
Texas.
Uranus.
the damnedest thing is, i got a lot of fairly decent cards recently, though my hand has been mostly trash the rest of the game.
i will return these:
Daddy's belt.
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.
Going potty.
Putting Baby in a corner.
Swooping.
Appreciative snapping.
Words, words, words.
Wielding a toddler as a weapon.
The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboard.
Making airplane noises.
Mohammed (Praise Be Unto Him).
Posts
O Canada, we stand on guard for Black people. (Anialos)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Sarah Palin. (see317)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content. (Lucedes)
O Canada, we stand on guard for The Harlem Globetrotters. (Cythraul)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Hillary Clinton's death stare. (LostNinja)
O Canada, we stand on guard for Puppies! (TheRoadVirus
O Canada, we stand on guard for Mutually-assured destruction. (Elvenshae)
An extra card will be distributed shortly for the next round. Prepare your OK Cupid profiles...
Confusion will be my epitaph
Don't take that from me!
Confusion will be my epitaph
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317
Your mission is to entice TheRoadVirus into clicking on your profile. Good luck and Godspeed. Remember that he hates puppies and Canada.
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Sexual humiliation, Evolving a labyrinthine vagina, and, (most importantly) Being a terrible mother. (Elvenshae)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Releasing the Kraken, Poking it with a stick, and, (most importantly) Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds. (LostNinja)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Mouth herpes, A really bad yeast infection, and, (most importantly) Daddy issues. (Lucedes)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit, Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples, and, (most importantly) Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. (Anialos
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses", An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker, and, (most importantly) I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn®. (MrTLicious)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: A sea of troubles, The swim team, all at once, and, (most importantly) Pooping as quietly as possible. (Cythraul)
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: TWENTY MILLION U.S. DOLLARS, Those creamy atheist thighs, and, (most importantly) Bacne. (see317)
Confusion will be my epitaph
Round 11: "Forget Fifty Shades of Grey... Give me Fifty Shades of _____!"
@Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Card two in a saucey set of three. You will understand in another round.
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of My dick in your mouth! (MrTLicious)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers! (Elvenshae)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A cock-gobbling cock-goblin! (LostNinja
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Pumping out a baby every nine months. (TheRoadVirus)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A blue waffle! (Cythraul)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Shapes and colors! (Lucedes)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of Reading the comments! (see317)
Round 11: I love the smell of _____ in the morning.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Behold, part three. I promise that these were randomly selected.
I love the smell of Sniffing glue in the morning. (Cythraul)
I love the smell of A fun, sexy time at a nude beach the morning. (TheRoadVirus)
I love the smell of Cake farts in the morning. (Elvenshae)
I love the smell of Eating together like a god damn family for once in the morning. (Lucedes)
I love the smell of Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage in the morning. (Anialos)
I love the smell of An ether-soaked rag in the morning. (see317
I love the smell of A urine-filled bong in the morning. (MrTLicious)
Round 12: _____. High five, bro.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus
Congratulations are in order.
A bag of magic beans. High five, bro. (Elvenshae)
The (technically) Virgin Mary. High five, bro. (Cythraul)
Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza. High five, bro. (LostNinja
An emperor penguin with no sense of shame. High five, bro. (Lucedes)
The muffled cries of an Asian baby girl. High five, bro. (Anialos)
A Planned Parenthood® clinic and non-kosher deli. High five, bro. (MrTLicious)
Ethnic cleansing. High five, bro. (TheRoadVirus)
Of those few, I think Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza is the most deserving of the honor.
Cause I've seen some Utilikilts, and they got pouches for days, bro.
Round 13: _____. Betcha can't have just one!
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Dieting is hard when everything bad tastes so good.
Wake up!
Chunks of dead prostitute. Betcha can't have just one! (Lucedes)
The boners of the elderly. Betcha can't have just one! (Cythraul)
Hormone injections. Betcha can't have just one! (Anialos)
The inaudible screams of carrots. Betcha can't have just one! (Elvenshae)
Suicidal thoughts. Betcha can't have just one! (see317)
A disappointing birthday party. Betcha can't have just one! (TheRoadVirus
Round 14: If you can't handle _____, you'd better stay away from _____.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317
Consider this a friendly warning.
If you can't handle Bling, you'd better stay away from All these decorative pillows. (Elvenshae)
If you can't handle Riding the struggles bus, you'd better stay away from The South. (Lucedes)
If you can't handle Child Protective Services, you'd better stay away from Bristol Palin. (Anialos)
If you can't handle A magic hippie love cloud, you'd better stay away from That woman. (MrTLicious)
If you can't handle Being paralyzed from the neck down, you'd better stay away from A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else. (see317
If you can't handle Being punk in drublic, you'd better stay away from Spring break! (LostNinja)
If you can't handle Mooing, you'd better stay away from Free ice cream, yo. (Cythraul)
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Don't.
Fuck.
With.
Harrison.
Ford.
It is round 15! Time to discard your shit cards by posting them in the thread and I will replace them with the very best cards a random selection will allow.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Dying alone and in pain.
Smoking crack, for instance.
Deflowering the princess.
Smallpox blankets.
You Know Who.
Science.
Pretending to be black.
A subscription to Men's Fitness.
Flesh-eating bacteria.
Exactly what you'd expect.
Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.
A foul mouth.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
It's got some cards that look weak, but I thought "Neck down paralysis" and "Grumpy Harrison Ford" were pretty weak cards too, until they fit the blanks.
Fat Man and Little Boy.
Women in yogurt commercials.
Dividing by zero.
Stalin.
God.
A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.
Don Cherry's wardrobe.
Texas.
Uranus.
At least make him buy you a drink first!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
It is lent after all
i will return these:
Daddy's belt.
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.
Going potty.
Putting Baby in a corner.
Swooping.
Appreciative snapping.
Wielding a toddler as a weapon.
The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboard.
Making airplane noises.
Mohammed (Praise Be Unto Him).