[Cards Against Humanity] TRV wins and wrecks it for everyone else.

Cythraul

A tip of my fedora.
Yeast.
The Irish.

I'll keep the rest, even if I probably shouldn't.

Anialos

Ghosts.
Sharks with legs.
The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.
Failing the Turing test.
Praying the gay away.
Rock bottom.
Not having sex.
Dry heaving.
One more fucking word.

I'm keeping one. The best one.

chamberlain

We move on! @see317 is the current judge.

Round 15: During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus

I shudder to think what my childrens' answer to this would be.

chamberlain

Reasonable answers, every one. @see317 must choose how to spend his 40th birthday.

During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Kinky fuckery. (LostNinja)
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Cybernetic enhancements. (Cythraul)
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Not wearing pants. (Lucedes)
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Korean Jesus. (Anialos )
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Tentacle porn. (MrTLicious)
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into An older man. (Elvenshae)
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into The basic suffering that pervades all of existence. (TheRoadVirus)

see317

During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Korean Jesus.

Erin The Red

Good round

chamberlain

I just looked up Korean Jesus and I still don't get it. @Anialos did, but he doesn't have time for my problems. He's busy. With Anialos' shit.

Round 16: Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _____.

@Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

From the secret chapters of the Wimpy Kid novels.

chamberlain

Proof that we were all in middle school once and never got better. So was @Anialos

Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for That thing with the spoon. (Cythraul)
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for Ejaculating a pound of tinsel. (TheRoadVirus)
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women. (Elvenshae)
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for Discharging a firearm in a residential area. (Lucedes)
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for The creative use of a pool noodle. (LostNinja )
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for Giving the tumor a cutesy name. (see317)
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for Being worshipped as the one true God. (MrTLicious)

Anialos

I need to know what Casey did with that pool noodle.

chamberlain

Casey was that weird kid in @LostNinja 's art class that spent every day making giant phalluses out of pool noodles. It's no wonder LostNinja has a phobia of floatation devices.

Round 17: Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of _____?"

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

Are you afraid of admitting you know what SNICK is?

chamberlain

@LostNinja is disappointed that no one is afraid of Virginia Woolf anymore.

Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Nothing?" (Anialos)
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Another goddamn vampire movie?" (TheRoadVirus)
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of A good schtupping?" (Cythraul)
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa?" (Lucedes)
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of The cliterati?" (MrTLicious)
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Puberty?" (see317 )
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of That thing on the Internet that everyone's talking about?" (Elvenshae)

LostNinja

Are you afraid of Puberty? You should be...

Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn

chamberlain

Remember those videos @see317 ? Those awful, awful health class videos? Traumatizing.

Round 18: I have this recurring dream where I'm _____, and I'm giving _____ to _____.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus

Please hold off until you receive your additional card.

Also, no pressure, but Cythraul and Elvenshae are both being left in the dust.

PRESSURE

chamberlain

Extra cards are out. Begin!

Elvenshae

Meh. Business as usual.

You guys just don't appreciate my unique and snowflakey wit.

Lucedes

Managing to play this from my phone in the U.K., hooray for wifi.

chamberlain

That's dedication! I'm not saying that @see317 should take such loyalty into account when making his decision but see317 should take such loyalty into account when making his decision.

I have this recurring dream where I'm Making a pouty face, and I'm giving An orcgasm to A Benedict Cumberbatch RealDoll™. (Elvenshae)
I have this recurring dream where I'm Going around punching people, and I'm giving Trouser chili to Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Cythraul)
I have this recurring dream where I'm Whispering all sexy, and I'm giving The chronic to Girls that always be textin'. (Lucedes)
I have this recurring dream where I'm Being blind and deaf and having no limbs, and I'm giving Bill Cosby's chocolate pudding pop to Jesus H. Christ. (Anialos)
I have this recurring dream where I'm A dumpster fire, and I'm giving Just the tip to The Fanta girls. (TheRoadVirus )
I have this recurring dream where I'm Long Schlong Silver, and I'm giving Absolutely zero fucks to The age of consent. (MrTLicious)
I have this recurring dream where I'm Spelunking, and I'm giving The Force to Grandma's wet, sloppy kisses. (LostNinja)

see317

Congrats to everyone for a really tough decision. And, also for not going directly to the Rusty Venture clip for inspiration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykEGtwJuZIs

But, since I've had the Dumpster Fire dream myself, I think that one gets the point. I know it's just a dream about girls repping fruit flavored soda by the ocean, but a shared Fanta-sea should count for something.

Cythraul

Hot damn those were all great!

chamberlain

I was going to ask @TheRoadVirus exactly how that would work but have decided it is best that I do not understand and gave him a point instead.

Round 19: Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of _____ and _____.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317

Now you can go to the Rusty Venture clip for inspiration.

LostNinja

Cythraul wrote: »

Hot damn those were all great!

I think MrT's answer deserves a call out for how awful (in a good CaH way) it was.

chamberlain

If @TheRoadVirus was in charge of Adult Swim he would green light every one of these:

Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Pungent butt-burps and A lemon party. (MrTLicious)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Double penetration and Peeing a little bit. (LostNinja)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Getting drive-by shot and Media coverage. (Anialos)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of A younger, vastly more attractive spouse and A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform. (Lucedes)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of The mere concept of Applebee's and Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti. (see317)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Frolicking and Rehab. (Cythraul )
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Me and The KKK. (elvenshae)

Erin The Red

Frolick and rehab are the best!
Frolic and rehab a thousand years
Thou *burp* thousand years frolick and rehab
Frolic and rehab.com/thousand years

chamberlain

And @Cythraul is on the board! Don't have too much fun, you could end up in rehab. Frolicking.

Round 20: War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for?

@Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

You have to love drunken karaoke.

chamberlain

Sorry guys, war is apparently not good for getting anything done on a Sunday.

@Cythraul does your war ever change?

War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? The FLQ. (TheRoadVirus)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Achieving the manual dexterity and tactical brilliance of a 12-year-old Korean boy. (see317)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Leveling up. (Lucedes )
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? A rival dojo. (Anialos)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Explosions. (LostNinja)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Genetically engineered super-soldiers. (MrTLicious)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? A lifetime of sadness. (Elvenshae)

Cythraul

Leveling up, of course!

chamberlain

Just what level does the end of the world get you, @Lucedes ? 10? Is it 10?

Round 21: Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy _____ by the poolside.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

Time to party like the POTUS.

chamberlain

I wonder how many of these @Lucedes is enjoying right now:

Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy 72 virgins by the poolside. (MrTLicious)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy One whose nether regions are vast and beckoning, like unto a corridor down which a frankfurter might be thrown by the poolside. (Anialos)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Allowing nacho cheese to curdle in your beard while you creep in League of Legends by the poolside. (Cythraul)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Sharing needles by the poolside. (Elvenshae)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Lumberjack fantasies by the poolside. (see317)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Being a shitty orange dictator who gives speeches to people he shit talks by the poolside. (TheRoadVirus)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Some god-damn peace and quiet by the poolside. (LostNinja )

Lucedes

These are all incredible and you should be proud and/or ashamed, everyone.

I am, for a brief moment, enjoying some god-damn peace and quiet.

chamberlain

Sorry for the late update. I may or may not be be drunk in a hotel room a long way from home. @LostNinja wins the round!

Round 22: What does Dick Cheney prefer?

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

Whatever it is, I guarantee that it is evil.

chamberlain

Has anyone seen Dick Cheney lately? @LostNinja thinks that Dick may be hiding in his closet.

What does Dick Cheney prefer? Hillary Clinton's Kevlar-lined pantsuit. (Cythraul)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Stuff a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. (Anialos)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? German dungeon porn. (Elvenshae )
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Being a dick to children. (MrTLicious)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Coat hanger abortions. (Lucedes)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Scrotemeal. (TheRoadVirus)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? An effeminate southern homophobe. (see317)

LostNinja

I actually believe a few of those, but above all Dick loves his German Dungeon Porn

chamberlain

@Elvenshae is on the board! Hanging out at Cheney's place on weekends wasn't such a bad thing, after all.

Round 23: Science will never explain the origin of _____.

@Anialos @Cythraul @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

I don't know, science is pretty smart. Maybe science just doesn't want to know where some things come from.

chamberlain

@Elvenshae is not fan of science. He fancies the darker arts, like tarot with CaH cards.

Science will never explain the origin of Some douche with an acoustic guitar. (TheRoadVirus)
Science will never explain the origin of A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing. (Cythaul )
Science will never explain the origin of The graveyard shift at 7-Eleven®. (Anialos)
Science will never explain the origin of 70,000 gamers sweating and farting inside an airtight steel dome. (MrTLicious)
Science will never explain the origin of Historical revisionism. (LostNinja)
Science will never explain the origin of Immaculate conception. (see317)
Science will never explain the origin of A Bop It. (Lucedes)

Elvenshae

Science will never explain the origin of A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.

Techno-jargon for the win!

And, obviously, pre-famulating the amulite just doesn't make technical sense; you have to let that happen naturally. That's why science will never explain it.

chamberlain

@Cythraul does a dead on Professor Frink impression. Glavin.

Round 24: Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits _____ against _____.

@Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

Remember: movie producers have no concept of reality. Go nuts!

chamberlain

Still waiting on @MrTLicious to send in his fabulous pitch.

chamberlain

@Cythraul what new movie are you planning to see over the holiday weekend?

Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits Endless ninjas against A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries. (LostNinja)
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits An absinthe enema against An emergency root canal. (Elvenshae)
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits Bosnian chicken farmers against Two midgets shitting into a bucket. (Anialos)
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits Bullets against A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour. (see317)
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The scientific method against Kentucky Fried Children. (Lucedes)
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The WNBA against The Land of Chocolate. (TheRoadVirus )

Cythraul

Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The WNBA against The Land of Chocolate.

Nice.

chamberlain

I hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend, it is time to get back to being terrible. @TheRoadVirus moves one step closer to being the worst of us.

Round 25: Only two things in life are certain: death and _.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317

Unless you happen to be rich, then the taxes aren't so certain.