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Tabletop Games! A Realm Full of Gamma-Goblins and Secret Hitlers

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Posts

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) I want to cut to the feelingRegistered User regular
    I might steal the whole orcs having a democratic republic thing

    maybe make it so orcs as a whole tend toward systems of voting

    I am streamer, destroyer of worlds. [M, Tu, W, F: 2-6 pm EST] and [Saturday: 3-8 pm EST]
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    FuselageNeoTomaMetzger MeisterRingo
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Orcs vote via throat-singing during large multi-clan gatherings. Pitch indicates descent or agreement.

    DE?AD on
    DoobhMetzger MeisterBucketmanMatevTofystedeth
  • Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    They believe in a true Democracy, damn any modifications to it

    A particularly charismatic but foolish orc rouses the masses in blatant lies and delusions by preying on their fears and accusing the opponents of being Republic assholes, swaying them into horde pillaging

    VRXwDW7.png
    Tofystedeth
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    i think in the setting with the space humans, mutant talking crab,s and living skeletons the elves are a monarchy, but with an opposition lead by the head magi, and there is also a shadow council filled with representatives from the different guilds to vote on bills to be made law.

    No one understands completely how it works, but taxes are low, everyone gets a fair wage, and ritual murders are at an all time low.

    SnowbearRingoNaphtaliTofystedethDepressperadoThe Hanged Man
  • TurambarTurambar Avocado at law Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    taxes are low, everyone gets a fair wage, and ritual murders are at an all time low.

    You can't have everything I suppose

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  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    Ive always like treating Goblins as barely a society. After seeing the way there are so many Goblin sub races and seeing Labyrinth where they are depicted as a weird barely similar series of grotesque(or sometimes handsome) monsters I was struck with the idea that Goblins are a genderless asexual reproducer. They are like a humanoid fungus that suffers constant mutation creating all the variation. I also sometimes roll Hags and Trolls into this with Trolls being sort of the apex-Goblin, their constant mutation being the reason for their regeneration.

    Also I dislike the recent trends in depicting Elves as closer to human. I like to push closer to them being barely understandable, inscrutable, set in their ways, Patriarchal, ethnocentric, vain and barely sane by human standards. I disliked the shit out of the second Hobbit movie but the scene where the Elf king reveals his burned face really stuck with me. To me Elves don't stay pretty for long. They maintain their youthful and unscarred face only through a glammer they maintain at all time.

    Quire.jpg
  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    If I was ever given creative control over a new D&D edition, I just wouldn't include any of the traditional races in the first book.

    Dwarves would be replaced by kobolds. Grippli take halfings' slot. Gnomes are ditched for goblins. The various flavors of elf are ditched in favor of various flavors of medium-sized fey (i.e. nymphs, fauns and dryads). Bump out half-orcs for minotaurs. Drop half-elves in favor of naga. Keep dragonborn and tieflings because they're suitably monstrous (and also I dig them).

    And humans? Humans are orcs now.

    IKknkhU.gif
    NeoTomaDoobhRingoZonugalStraightziMrMonroeDr. Flamingo
  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    If I was ever given creative control over a new D&D edition, I just wouldn't include any of the traditional races in the first book.

    Dwarves would be replaced by kobolds. Grippli take halfings' slot. Gnomes are ditched for goblins. The various flavors of elf are ditched in favor of various flavors of medium-sized fey (i.e. nymphs, fauns and dryads). Bump out half-orcs for minotaurs. Drop half-elves in favor of naga. Keep dragonborn and tieflings because they're suitably monstrous (and also I dig them).

    And humans? Humans are orcs now.

    Honestly at this point Im always surprised to open the players handbook and find that Half-orcs haven't been replaced by Orcs. That just seems like an obvious change to me and I can't imagine why anybody wants half-Orcs to keep existing.

    Quire.jpg
    StiltsRingoLord_AsmodeusZonugalStraightziGatorA Kobold's Kobold
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    If I was ever given creative control over a new D&D edition, I just wouldn't include any of the traditional races in the first book.

    Dwarves would be replaced by kobolds. Grippli take halfings' slot. Gnomes are ditched for goblins. The various flavors of elf are ditched in favor of various flavors of medium-sized fey (i.e. nymphs, fauns and dryads). Bump out half-orcs for minotaurs. Drop half-elves in favor of naga. Keep dragonborn and tieflings because they're suitably monstrous (and also I dig them).

    And humans? Humans are orcs now.

    Honestly at this point Im always surprised to open the players handbook and find that Half-orcs haven't been replaced by Orcs. That just seems like an obvious change to me and I can't imagine why anybody wants half-Orcs to keep existing.

    Honestly, all the half-races are baffling to me.

    Like, they don't even bother with half-dragons now. Dragonborn are straight-up humanoid dragons that can't fly too good.

    So the constant inclusion of half-elves and half-orcs is just, like, why?

    IKknkhU.gif
    NeoTomaRingoLord_AsmodeusZonugalArdentGator
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Fuselage wrote: »
    Fuselage wrote: »
    @DaMoonRulz would it be too cruel for a one shot to have my regular table of people in real life play against people on Roll20 that are muted but can hear the room and play at least some of the monsters?

    Beforehand I'd have the layout of the dungeon set up and then give the Monster Players an amount of creatures that would be a correct challenge rating for their zones in the dungeon. Then I tell the players that they've heard about this place and that roughly X monsters are inside. Then they have some time to plan and I DM like normal, while keeping an eye on Roll20 chat to see what the monsters want and are rolling. Too much? I'd almost need a Co-DM for that.

    To those that liked this idea:

    Would it be more compelling or fun for you if this were...
    A) Player Adventurers vs Player Monsters (Hey, these goblins are smart and tired of getting beaten!)
    B) Player Adventurers vs Player Adventurers vs DM Monsters (Elf party and Dwarf party trying to excavate same ruins, or just murder hobos doing their thing)
    C) Player Adventurers controlling DM Minions vs Player Adventurers controlling DM Minions (Guilds of New York style trying to control a village/neighborhood (with this idea I'd be inclined to use modified mass combat rules and give each player their own squad based on their class selection))

    This is for a one shot that will be the last time we get to.play with one of our players/DMs.

    A, or possibly B depending on the story for rival adventuring parties. Playing a crew of Goblins or Kobolds Home Aloning a dungeon would be pretty great though.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    IKknkhU.gif
    Metzger MeisterBrainleechDarkPrimusDracomicron
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    They're so cool! All having an innately perfect sense of direction because labyrinths and finding spiritual meaning in the symbolism of a maze and they're all huge and strong and MINOTAURS FUCKIN RULE.

    Stilts
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    They're so cool! All having an innately perfect sense of direction because labyrinths and finding spiritual meaning in the symbolism of a maze and they're all huge and strong and MINOTAURS FUCKIN RULE.

    Minotaurs are like the best sailors in Dragonlance and I always thought that was badass.
    This post brought to you by me rereading my old Dragonlance Modules between calls at work today.

    Someday, someday I'll run a party through that campaign

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    They're so cool! All having an innately perfect sense of direction because labyrinths and finding spiritual meaning in the symbolism of a maze and they're all huge and strong and MINOTAURS FUCKIN RULE.

    In fact, the current campaign I'm running for Roll For Your Lives has both a minotaur and a nymph as guild leaders for the law-enforcement and history guilds, respectively.

    And the kobold runs the engineering guild.

    My biases are very heavily in play in that game.

    IKknkhU.gif
    Ringo
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Stilts wrote: »
    Stilts wrote: »
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    They're so cool! All having an innately perfect sense of direction because labyrinths and finding spiritual meaning in the symbolism of a maze and they're all huge and strong and MINOTAURS FUCKIN RULE.

    In fact, the current campaign I'm running for Roll For Your Lives has both a minotaur and a nymph as guild leaders for the law-enforcement and history guilds, respectively.

    And the kobold runs the engineering guild.

    My biases are very heavily in play in that game.

    ... Stilts, is your Minotaur Cop just Idris Elba's character from Zootopia?

  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Stilts wrote: »
    Stilts wrote: »
    Minotaurs are so fuckin rad ugh I can't even handle it.

    It took me a few years to realize it, but I'm pretty sure minotaurs are my favorite fantasy race to both play and include as NPCs.

    Nymphs being my second-favorite.

    They're so cool! All having an innately perfect sense of direction because labyrinths and finding spiritual meaning in the symbolism of a maze and they're all huge and strong and MINOTAURS FUCKIN RULE.

    In fact, the current campaign I'm running for Roll For Your Lives has both a minotaur and a nymph as guild leaders for the law-enforcement and history guilds, respectively.

    And the kobold runs the engineering guild.

    My biases are very heavily in play in that game.

    ... Stilts, is your Minotaur Cop just Idris Elba's character from Zootopia?

    Only in the sense that he takes his job seriously.

    His personality is more like if Dwayne Johnson was a cop and also a bull-man.

    Stilts on
    IKknkhU.gif
    DE?ADMetzger MeisterBucketmanAnialosDevlin_Dragonus
  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    Anybody happen to have a good conversion of Red Hand of Doom for 4e dnd handy?

    Quire.jpg
  • AnzekayAnzekay Registered User regular
    My Dad wants to run a campaign in some Pathfinder alternative setting where there's a bit city with a dedicated Kobold quarter. The party would be mostly kobolds, and part of the Number One Kobold Detective Agency and would do exactly what you'd expect from the name.

    Mostly kobolds, and a couple of "big people" as hired muscle.

  • FuselageFuselage Bantha Three ValhallaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Matev wrote: »
    Fuselage wrote: »
    Fuselage wrote: »
    @DaMoonRulz would it be too cruel for a one shot to have my regular table of people in real life play against people on Roll20 that are muted but can hear the room and play at least some of the monsters?

    Beforehand I'd have the layout of the dungeon set up and then give the Monster Players an amount of creatures that would be a correct challenge rating for their zones in the dungeon. Then I tell the players that they've heard about this place and that roughly X monsters are inside. Then they have some time to plan and I DM like normal, while keeping an eye on Roll20 chat to see what the monsters want and are rolling. Too much? I'd almost need a Co-DM for that.

    To those that liked this idea:

    Would it be more compelling or fun for you if this were...
    A) Player Adventurers vs Player Monsters (Hey, these goblins are smart and tired of getting beaten!)
    B) Player Adventurers vs Player Adventurers vs DM Monsters (Elf party and Dwarf party trying to excavate same ruins, or just murder hobos doing their thing)
    C) Player Adventurers controlling DM Minions vs Player Adventurers controlling DM Minions (Guilds of New York style trying to control a village/neighborhood (with this idea I'd be inclined to use modified mass combat rules and give each player their own squad based on their class selection))

    This is for a one shot that will be the last time we get to.play with one of our players/DMs.

    A, or possibly B depending on the story for rival adventuring parties. Playing a crew of Goblins or Kobolds Home Aloning a dungeon would be pretty great though.

    Well the kobold angle gives the monsters access to setting up the traps in the dungeon like you mentioned, which would be both devious and creatively enticing.

    If B I'd probably go with a dragon's hoard or a mummy lord with a boss at the end that they can't likely beat without each other but there'd still be good loot outside and two entrances to the dungeon. It would be like Munchkin, racing to loot the room.

    Edit: The other B idea would be Adventurers resting in the tavern of a village at night when it's attacked by a small Drow raiding party.

    Edit: Or an evil group consisting of Death Cleric, Necromancer, and Oathbreaker Paladin trying to run amok. Red Dragonborn with kobold servants would be fun too.

    Fuselage on
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Duke 2.0 wrote: »
    They believe in a true Democracy, damn any modifications to it

    A particularly charismatic but foolish orc rouses the masses in blatant lies and delusions by preying on their fears and accusing the opponents of being Republic assholes, swaying them into horde pillaging

    I specifically love democratic republic because I'm thinking that orcs themselves have no interest in being involved with politics. Like, the vast majority of orcs just want to split skulls. But sometimes you're born a weaker orc, or an infirm orc, and that's how you become a politician. It's not the best and brightest leading the horde, it's the worst and, well, probably still the brightest. Electing an orc to office can be seen as a form of punishment, as that means that they have a job other than going on raids.

    Lord_AsmodeusNeoTomaMatevZonugalMvrck
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Half-orcs were always the weirdest race to me because their main reason for existing was that the creators of AD&D didn't want you to play a good orc and also not an orc who gets along with humans

    Yet you have a character who exists because someone in the background apparently found orcs sympathetic enough to bang them

    And the other option is just too awkward/horrible

    Platy on
  • TurambarTurambar Avocado at law Registered User regular
    Humans will bang anything

    Steam: turamb | Origin: Turamb | 3DS: 3411-1109-4537 | NNID: Turambar
    Kayne Red RobeDuke 2.0DarkPrimusZonugaldarunia106DracomicronRawkking Goodguy
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Humans are the most specialest and can do everything (and everyone)

    BucketmanZonugal
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Null Registered User regular
    Half-orcs were always the weirdest race to me because their main reason for existing was that the creators of AD&D didn't want you to play a good orc and also not an orc who gets along with humans

    Yet you have a character who exists because someone in the background apparently found orcs sympathetic enough to bang them

    And the other option is just too awkward/horrible

    there's always the "a wizard did it" option

    B.net: Naphtali#1830 | Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | PSN: EI-Naphtali | Wish List
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    AuralynxAnialos
  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    steam_sig.png
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    Look, we can't know for sure that that sheep wasn't Zeus.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    edited November 2016
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    It's true that not everyone has neanderthal DNA, but most people who don't are from places where homo sapiens and neanderthals didn't overlap.

    Also I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I feel like Goblinoids should have a lot more mixed-blood individuals. Unlike humans and orcs or elves, Goblinoids are all explicitly related to one another, and yet for some reason you very rarely if ever see a half Hobgoblin half Bugbear or anything like that.

    Lord_Asmodeus on
    Lord_Asmodeus.gifLord_Asmodeus2.gifz1i30sg.png
    Kayne Red Robe
  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    It's true that not everyone has neanderthal DNA, but most people who don't are from places where homo sapiens and neanderthals didn't overlap.

    Also I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I feel like Goblinoids should have a lot more mixed-blood individuals. Unlike humans and orcs or elves, Goblinoids are all explicitly related to one another, and yet for some reason you very rarely if ever see a half Hobgoblin half Bugbear or anything like that.

    I think mostly people don't want too hard about goblinoids fuckin'.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I can't remember where I read it but there were rules along the line that mixed offspring gets categorized as one race or the other, humans being the exception (once again)

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    uh

    a pretty high percentage of half-orcs are the product of rape, I think. at least in the generic fantasy settings

    which is another reason I'm not like, a super big fan of them

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    That's what I was alluding to

    I don't think that's a super-great detail to have in a character's background, at least not in your ordinary D&D group

    DepressperadoDarkPrimus
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    dragonborn are my favorite because I insist that they're like, genetic mistakes.
    like, either their egg was broken or otherwise violated, or your dragon dad shapeshifted into a humanoid and had sex with a mortal lady and you were born in 4 months and like, have a dragon head, but a human tongue. Have a human's drive to reproduce, but not any sexual organs. your tail doesn't help with balance, it just gets in the way

    breath weapon hurts when you use it

  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    Look, we can't know for sure that that sheep wasn't Zeus.

    Knowing Zeus, it probably was.

    steam_sig.png
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    Look, we can't know for sure that that sheep wasn't Zeus.

    Knowing Zeus, it probably was.

    YOU KNOW ZEUS?

    Platy
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    "know" in the Biblical sense

  • KwoaruKwoaru Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Turambar wrote: »
    Humans will bang anything

    this is why we have STDS

    And neanderthal DNA.

    Not everyone has that
    STDs are everywhere because people found pumping animals a religion or something

    Look, we can't know for sure that that sheep wasn't Zeus.

    Knowing Zeus, it probably was.

    YOU KNOW ZEUS?

    Everyone who has ever seen a swan they felt was just slightly too sexy knows Zeus

    2x39jD4.jpg
    Lord_Asmodeustzeentchling
  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    "know" in the Biblical sense

    Look, i was locked in my room and this handsome beam of light showed up and one thing led to another...

    steam_sig.png
This discussion has been closed.