Also it turned out that I had, years prior, gone on a couple of dates with his daughter, and I had no idea until I saw them together in a shopping mall.
But had you boinked her, and did that ever come up in conversation with him?
Bonus awkward points if working as a Penetration Tester.
( < . . .
+5
Options
jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
edited April 2017
Welcome to Clusterfuck Tuesday! Tell JRX what he's won!
A 9 year old 2008 Standard server running alongside a fresh new 2012 box that's set up incorrectly so it will try to take over the domain controller role when the 2012 server reboots for updates then not have enough system resources to actually function as a domain controller! Who would've thought running WSUS and Backup Exec on a 250 gig HDD with 4 gigs of RAM would cause issues!
A memory leak from Perfect Disk on another server that completely blows out everything! Why does Perfect Disk even exist!?
A user wanting a networked application installed on their local desktop that has no capability of doing so, but you better get it to work because she's the bank president!
And finally! A 3rd party IT company that rolled back all previous security updates for Server 2008 that caused the entire fucking thing to blue screen!
*dies*
jungleroomx on
+8
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
Also it turned out that I had, years prior, gone on a couple of dates with his daughter, and I had no idea until I saw them together in a shopping mall.
But had you boinked her, and did that ever come up in conversation with him?
No, sadly.
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
won't charge in windows or even in the diagnostics pane
sent new laptop, new battery, new charger, had user move their HDD over
same problem (??!?!)
updated BIOS, like every conceivable driver
no dice
if you unplug the adapter from the wall, leave it for 30 seconds, then plug back in it will charge for a few minutes, then stop charging again after a percent or two
I think I'm down to
the hard drive itself is somehow fucking up power distribution
user is lying about it also not charging out at client sites and just has shit power in his office
Aioua on
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
won't charge in windows or even in the diagnostics pane
sent new laptop, new battery, new charger, had user move their HDD over
same problem (??!?!)
updated BIOS, like every conceivable driver
no dice
if you unplug the adapter from the wall, leave it for 30 seconds, then plug back in it will charge for a few minutes, then stop charging again after a percent or two
I think I'm down to
the hard drive itself is somehow fucking up power distribution
user is lying about it also not charging out at client sites and just has shit power in his office
Shut down the laptop and plug in the charger. The charge light should indicate it's charging. If not, it's a hardware fault (they didn't actually swap chargers cause they didn't want to climb under their desk for example).
The other options are that it's a Windows fault that still exists due to the HD swap. Try to uninstall the "Microsoft ACPI Compliant Control Method Battery" and the AC Adapter from Device Manager and reboot (may need to remove battery and run on AC only before you can do this). You can also try switching the Power Options between Plans and try resetting the plans to default as well.
Could also reimage the whole thing.
SiliconStew on
Just remember that half the people you meet are below average intelligence.
+1
Options
TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
Also it turned out that I had, years prior, gone on a couple of dates with his daughter, and I had no idea until I saw them together in a shopping mall.
But had you boinked her, and did that ever come up in conversation with him?
my manager and the admin assistant are trying to set up weekly meetings for the rest of the year for our group in outlook.
So far, he's (the manger) set up a recurring one at one time. That was one email. She (the admin assistant) set up a recurring one at another time, and then had to move 12 of them to a different day and location to accommodate the different room for bigger planning sessions once a month. that was 12 emails.
Then when they saw they both did the work, they both deleted the meetings created. That was 14 emails. Then she set up another recurring meeting for the time the manager wanted. That was another email. She then again had to move 12 of them to a different location. That was 12 more emails. She has now cancelled 4 of them to accommodate 4 weeks the manager is away. that's 4 emails.
so that's 45 emails for a recurring weekly meeting. This is within the last 40 minutes or so.
I swear to god if I see another email with the subject line "ITI Team Weekly meeting" I'm going to lose my mind.
jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
Just got an e-mail re: the blue screened server from other IT company.
"Hey! Well, our software that required us to completely fuck the server over by rolling back 2 years of updates isn't working now that we've gotten the server back online! How do you get this working?"
Why do people put in support tickets asking for help with blocked emails without providing any details about the email sender or recipient?
And here's how this went down over the last 24 hours.
Me: Hi, User. I need the email address that you were expecting the emails from.
User: They had zip attachments. Is there a better way to get information than zips?
Me: We're not blocking zips. I can check our spam filter for emails from them though if you give me their address.
User: The emails are from dude@domain.com.
Me: Well, I don't see that any emails from dude@domain.com have hit our spam filter.
Same user: I was wrong. The emails are from otherdude@domain.com
Me: Well, our network hasn't received any emails from dude or otherdude@domain.com.
User: That's what we're trying to tell you!
Me: Right. The edge of our 'custody' is our spam filter, and it hasn't received any emails from them.
User: Well, they're telling us that their emails are going through. Will you talk to them?
Me: Sure.
dude@domain.com: We actually use mailchimp, so they'd be getting emails from company@mailchimp.com. For example, I see that we sent out an email from mailchimp yesterday at 1:00pm your time and another two days ago.
Me: That's helpful! Well, it looks like those emails passed our spam filter and was delivered by Exchange. I'll go check with them to make sure they didn't end up in a junk email folder.
User: Oh, yeah, I got those emails. But those aren't the emails I need! I'm missing a different email.
dude@domain.com: Here's an exhaustive list of EVERY EMAIL OUR COMPANY HAS SENT YOUR COMPANY from mailchimp since the beginning of time.
Me: *extends the spam filter search to the beginning of time.*
Me: Okay, we've found two mailchimp emails from last month that were spamblocked. Is one of these the email you wanted?
User: YES OMG THANK YOU
Me:
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
This was years ago, but I once had a guy come ask me if emails to him were being blocked. I asked if he knew the address that wasn't getting through, or a time the email was sent, and he said no he didn't know of any, but he had heard that we blocked emails and he wanted to make sure that every single email sent to him got through.
He made the same complaint about it about 6 months later. Our manager's solution was to exempt his email address from the spam filter. I think he received about 300 spam emails within the next 24 hours. Came back to us with his tail between his legs.
On the flip side, I will say I've had the same issue, and our IT people replied "can you please forward all emails that have been blocked"... no, I can't, if I had gotten all the emails that had been blocked I wouldn't be contacting you.
They needed something from a mailing list that badly?
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
0
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lwt1973King of ThievesSyndicationRegistered Userregular
User: I tried to click on an email link and it wouldn't work. The virus alert popped up. So I forwarded it off to User2 and asked her to try it. She tried it and it wouldn't work for her either.
Me: ...
"He's sulking in his tent like Achilles! It's the Iliad?...from Homer?! READ A BOOK!!" -Handy
User: I tried to click on an email link and it wouldn't work. The virus alert popped up. So I forwarded it off to User2 and asked her to try it. She tried it and it wouldn't work for her either.
Me: ...
Congratulations! You've just won yourself a special mandatory training on IT security for you and your friend!
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Also it turned out that I had, years prior, gone on a couple of dates with his daughter, and I had no idea until I saw them together in a shopping mall.
But had you boinked her, and did that ever come up in conversation with him?
Bonus awkward points if working as a Penetration Tester.
"Ok, so it looks like there are some open ports on your firewall, so we should probably fix that. And speaking of plugging holes..."
User: I tried to click on an email link and it wouldn't work. The virus alert popped up. So I forwarded it off to User2 and asked her to try it. She tried it and it wouldn't work for her either.
Me: ...
People being unable to use a computer for their job should be treated like a mechanic being unable to use tools.
Or vice versa. Because I can't think of anything more hilarious than a mechanic being on the phone with their dispatch, bitching about how their tools are broken, when they clearly are trying to use a screwdriver on a hex bolt.
People being unable to use a computer for their job should be treated like a mechanic being unable to use tools.
A few years ago I worked at a relatively large corp. that handled it this way, and it was awesome. I don't remember the correct terminology but basically every department had to have a retard dollar section in their budget, and if anyone called in for support on something that was part of their job (anything e-mail client related that wasn't it being actually broken, excel formulas, how to do shit in word etc.) It got billed against them, and that money went into IT's budget. It was beautiful Also the only place i've worked that would regularly fire people for being too computer illiterate, they used that exact analogy, like a tradesperson not knowing how to use their tools.
95% of calls were "This is my problem, will it go against the retard budget?" "Yup" "ok, nevermind" *click*
I love when development decides they newest version of an in-house tool needs to authenticate the hostname of the device it's on with some database they set up without ever asking us.
And now we're responsible for keeping that database updated and its server running.
Too late it's already been validated olololol
¬_¬
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
People being unable to use a computer for their job should be treated like a mechanic being unable to use tools.
A few years ago I worked at a relatively large corp. that handled it this way, and it was awesome. I don't remember the correct terminology but basically every department had to have a retard dollar section in their budget, and if anyone called in for support on something that was part of their job (anything e-mail client related that wasn't it being actually broken, excel formulas, how to do shit in word etc.) It got billed against them, and that money went into IT's budget. It was beautiful Also the only place i've worked that would regularly fire people for being too computer illiterate, they used that exact analogy, like a tradesperson not knowing how to use their tools.
95% of calls were "This is my problem, will it go against the retard budget?" "Yup" "ok, nevermind" *click*
Oh my god this is amazing and if I ever get a chance I'm stealing the shit out of this.
I love when development decides they newest version of an in-house tool needs to authenticate the hostname of the device it's on with some database they set up without ever asking us.
And now we're responsible for keeping that database updated and its server running.
Too late it's already been validated olololol
¬_¬
figure out what port they're connecting on and set up a script that just returns TRUE
I love when development decides they newest version of an in-house tool needs to authenticate the hostname of the device it's on with some database they set up without ever asking us.
And now we're responsible for keeping that database updated and its server running.
Too late it's already been validated olololol
¬_¬
figure out what port they're connecting on and set up a script that just returns TRUE
I was thinking this myself, and then I started thinking about all those stories about software that did stuff just like that. Stories that made you think "man, did those people just have no idea how this stuff is supposed to work?". Now I'm thinking that it was more of a "man, those people must have been fresh out of fucks."
Last call of the day (hopefully, there's 10 minutes left)
Customer:"Hi, I can't print, it says out of bounds page reference and only will print the first 13 pages of my document"
Me:"How many pages long is the document?"
Customer:"It's"
*LONG PAUSE, SCROLLING AND CLICKING CAN BE HEARD*
Customer:"Nevermind sorry bye"
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
I always liked for(;;) personally, kind of self explains what's happening, if a little unverbose (kind of reads like 'forever')
I don't really like that because it doesn't really make sense to me. I read it as "for(a bunch of undefined shit)". Also, not all of the languages I use have for loops.
0
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
I always liked for(;;) personally, kind of self explains what's happening, if a little unverbose (kind of reads like 'forever')
I don't really like that because it doesn't really make sense to me. I read it as "for(a bunch of undefined shit)". Also, not all of the languages I use have for loops.
I always liked for(;;) personally, kind of self explains what's happening, if a little unverbose (kind of reads like 'forever')
I don't really like that because it doesn't really make sense to me. I read it as "for(a bunch of undefined shit)". Also, not all of the languages I use have for loops.
JAVA.
EH? EH?
:rotate:
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Posts
Bonus awkward points if working as a Penetration Tester.
A 9 year old 2008 Standard server running alongside a fresh new 2012 box that's set up incorrectly so it will try to take over the domain controller role when the 2012 server reboots for updates then not have enough system resources to actually function as a domain controller! Who would've thought running WSUS and Backup Exec on a 250 gig HDD with 4 gigs of RAM would cause issues!
A memory leak from Perfect Disk on another server that completely blows out everything! Why does Perfect Disk even exist!?
A user wanting a networked application installed on their local desktop that has no capability of doing so, but you better get it to work because she's the bank president!
And finally! A 3rd party IT company that rolled back all previous security updates for Server 2008 that caused the entire fucking thing to blue screen!
*dies*
No, sadly.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
remote user
battery won't charge but it'll still run on AC
won't charge in windows or even in the diagnostics pane
sent new laptop, new battery, new charger, had user move their HDD over
same problem (??!?!)
updated BIOS, like every conceivable driver
no dice
if you unplug the adapter from the wall, leave it for 30 seconds, then plug back in it will charge for a few minutes, then stop charging again after a percent or two
I think I'm down to
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Weeeeeee!
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Shut down the laptop and plug in the charger. The charge light should indicate it's charging. If not, it's a hardware fault (they didn't actually swap chargers cause they didn't want to climb under their desk for example).
The other options are that it's a Windows fault that still exists due to the HD swap. Try to uninstall the "Microsoft ACPI Compliant Control Method Battery" and the AC Adapter from Device Manager and reboot (may need to remove battery and run on AC only before you can do this). You can also try switching the Power Options between Plans and try resetting the plans to default as well.
Could also reimage the whole thing.
So far, he's (the manger) set up a recurring one at one time. That was one email. She (the admin assistant) set up a recurring one at another time, and then had to move 12 of them to a different day and location to accommodate the different room for bigger planning sessions once a month. that was 12 emails.
Then when they saw they both did the work, they both deleted the meetings created. That was 14 emails. Then she set up another recurring meeting for the time the manager wanted. That was another email. She then again had to move 12 of them to a different location. That was 12 more emails. She has now cancelled 4 of them to accommodate 4 weeks the manager is away. that's 4 emails.
so that's 45 emails for a recurring weekly meeting. This is within the last 40 minutes or so.
I swear to god if I see another email with the subject line "ITI Team Weekly meeting" I'm going to lose my mind.
"Hey! Well, our software that required us to completely fuck the server over by rolling back 2 years of updates isn't working now that we've gotten the server back online! How do you get this working?"
Are... are you fucking kidding?
You're asking me to fix your fucking software?
And here's how this went down over the last 24 hours.
Me: Hi, User. I need the email address that you were expecting the emails from.
User: They had zip attachments. Is there a better way to get information than zips?
Me: We're not blocking zips. I can check our spam filter for emails from them though if you give me their address.
User: The emails are from dude@domain.com.
Me: Well, I don't see that any emails from dude@domain.com have hit our spam filter.
Same user: I was wrong. The emails are from otherdude@domain.com
Me: Well, our network hasn't received any emails from dude or otherdude @domain.com.
User: That's what we're trying to tell you!
Me: Right. The edge of our 'custody' is our spam filter, and it hasn't received any emails from them.
User: Well, they're telling us that their emails are going through. Will you talk to them?
Me: Sure.
dude@domain.com: We actually use mailchimp, so they'd be getting emails from company@mailchimp.com. For example, I see that we sent out an email from mailchimp yesterday at 1:00pm your time and another two days ago.
Me: That's helpful! Well, it looks like those emails passed our spam filter and was delivered by Exchange. I'll go check with them to make sure they didn't end up in a junk email folder.
User: Oh, yeah, I got those emails. But those aren't the emails I need! I'm missing a different email.
dude@domain.com: Here's an exhaustive list of EVERY EMAIL OUR COMPANY HAS SENT YOUR COMPANY from mailchimp since the beginning of time.
Me: *extends the spam filter search to the beginning of time.*
Me: Okay, we've found two mailchimp emails from last month that were spamblocked. Is one of these the email you wanted?
User: YES OMG THANK YOU
Me:
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
On the flip side, I will say I've had the same issue, and our IT people replied "can you please forward all emails that have been blocked"... no, I can't, if I had gotten all the emails that had been blocked I wouldn't be contacting you.
"Sorry looks like for whatever reason the internet ate your email"
We have too much accountability for that sort of thing.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
"Sorry you need to be more specific"
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
User: I tried to click on an email link and it wouldn't work. The virus alert popped up. So I forwarded it off to User2 and asked her to try it. She tried it and it wouldn't work for her either.
Me: ...
Congratulations! You've just won yourself a special mandatory training on IT security for you and your friend!
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
"Ok, so it looks like there are some open ports on your firewall, so we should probably fix that. And speaking of plugging holes..."
Gotta get those coupon installer links.
This is the very best thing.
Or vice versa. Because I can't think of anything more hilarious than a mechanic being on the phone with their dispatch, bitching about how their tools are broken, when they clearly are trying to use a screwdriver on a hex bolt.
It was a vendor who used mailchimp as their method for sending out customer-specific deliverables.
Yeah, it's weird.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I. . .
uh. . .
ok?. . .
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
A few years ago I worked at a relatively large corp. that handled it this way, and it was awesome. I don't remember the correct terminology but basically every department had to have a retard dollar section in their budget, and if anyone called in for support on something that was part of their job (anything e-mail client related that wasn't it being actually broken, excel formulas, how to do shit in word etc.) It got billed against them, and that money went into IT's budget. It was beautiful Also the only place i've worked that would regularly fire people for being too computer illiterate, they used that exact analogy, like a tradesperson not knowing how to use their tools.
95% of calls were "This is my problem, will it go against the retard budget?" "Yup" "ok, nevermind" *click*
And now we're responsible for keeping that database updated and its server running.
Too late it's already been validated olololol
¬_¬
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Oh my god this is amazing and if I ever get a chance I'm stealing the shit out of this.
Edit: I've been using this to fuck people for the last two days.
figure out what port they're connecting on and set up a script that just returns TRUE
I was thinking this myself, and then I started thinking about all those stories about software that did stuff just like that. Stories that made you think "man, did those people just have no idea how this stuff is supposed to work?". Now I'm thinking that it was more of a "man, those people must have been fresh out of fucks."
THEN RESULT OUT (True)
Customer:"Hi, I can't print, it says out of bounds page reference and only will print the first 13 pages of my document"
Me:"How many pages long is the document?"
Customer:"It's"
*LONG PAUSE, SCROLLING AND CLICKING CAN BE HEARD*
Customer:"Nevermind sorry bye"
I've written scripts with
while ($true) { #do stuff }fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
That's like, the canonical way to write intentionally infinite loops. Unless your language has a verbatim loop forever keyword.
I don't really like that because it doesn't really make sense to me. I read it as "for(a bunch of undefined shit)". Also, not all of the languages I use have for loops.
JAVA.
EH? EH?
:rotate: