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The Trials and Tribulations and also really great things about being [Jewish]

ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
edited January 2017 in Singularity Engine++
This is a thread for discussing Jewish education, observance of holidays, and anything else pertaining to being Jewish.

People can ask questions (not Jewish and have a question about it? ask here), wish each other happy holidays, talk about daily, weekly, annual, and sabbatical holidays, and discuss Jewish life, experiences, and current events affecting Jews in the diaspora, meaning not Israel. No Israeli politics here please.

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(ignore the mess)

And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
ceres on
P10Magic PinkGnizmoAthenorTcheldorLabelMazzyxIndie WintergodmodeToxDisruptedCapitalistFroThulhuMadEddyAngelinalonelyahavaButlerVirgil_Leads_YouCreaganSlacker71joshofalltradesLoisLane
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Posts

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Night 4.

    dxfwq6x9emg0.jpg

    (I cleared the mess this time)

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    GnizmocabsyLabelIndie WintergodmodeToxMadEddyAngelinalonelyahavaCreaganSlacker71LoisLane
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    You mention not reading by the light of the hanukkiyah (also, thank you Hangouts thread for teaching me the word). Is that a thing, or just because you might set fire to your book?

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    You're not supposed to do any work of any kind by them, they are for looking pretty and that is IT.

    In fact the whole point of the one in the middle is to make sure none are used to light the others, so traditionally you light the other 8 from right to left with the one that is separate.

    I actually got a talking-to about this when I was a kid. I was probably 8 or 9, and the synagogue was allowing the younger kids to light a candle each. I had the last one, so when I went to put the shamash (the 9th candle) back into its holder, I did what I always saw my dad do... I used the nearest candle to melt the wax on the end of it a little so it would stick better, to a bunch of horrified looks of the adults (old people) around me. You know, my dad converted in later in his life, it was probably never something he really thought about, it just made sense. Afterward I was taken aside and it was explained, but I didn't know.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Thank you :)

    Creagan
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Lights are lit. I have been just doing the Hebrew the last two days since it is just me. None of the English.

    03x29di.png
    ceresGnizmocabsyAngelina
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    So this might be a dumb question but do the candles stay lit or do you replace them each day? If you replace them do they burn down completely first or do you blow them out after a while?

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    This year I decided Christmas was fun and all but I wanted to give a broader acknowledgement of the various cultural celebrations and on the first day of Haunukkah I saw that Atari's Ghostbuster the Video Game (2009) was $1.99 on Steam and came up with this:


    I'm not Jewish at all but it works for handing out one small gift a night for 8 nights, plus the fans who ARE Jewish let me know it was appreciated.

    We also acknowledged Solstice and Krampusnacht this year.

    BugBoyceresButler For Life #1godmodeGonmunDisruptedCapitalistlonelyahavaTonkkaSlacker71Elldren
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    So this might be a dumb question but do the candles stay lit or do you replace them each day? If you replace them do they burn down completely first or do you blow them out after a while?

    You let them burn down all the way and put new ones in each night.

    There are rules about how long they have to burn and such.

    03x29di.png
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Lights are lit. I have been just doing the Hebrew the last two days since it is just me. None of the English.

    We never do English in our family.
    So this might be a dumb question but do the candles stay lit or do you replace them each day? If you replace them do they burn down completely first or do you blow them out after a while?

    They are meant to burn down completely and it only takes about an hour or two depending on what you're lighting (some people use electric ones so they obviously don't burn down, and some use oil which takes a lot longer but it's also kind of messy). So you put in new ones and add one each day.

    I love our oil one but we need new cups and wicks and we couldn't track them down in time. I wanted to light both but I'm settling for the one.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Interestingly, all of these rules are tradition only and have no basis whatsoever in the Talmud, which I only learned a couple years ago.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    for curiosity's sake, is calling a jewish family friend and wishing them happy holidays appropriate during hanukkah?

    i assume it is? would there be a most appropriate day to call, like the last day or anything?

  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Label wrote: »
    for curiosity's sake, is calling a jewish family friend and wishing them happy holidays appropriate during hanukkah?

    i assume it is? would there be a most appropriate day to call, like the last day or anything?

    Any of the days is fine. Just wish them a Happy Hanukkah and Happy New Year when you call.

    03x29di.png
    NightDragonlonelyahavaDisruptedCapitalist
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Yep! I really love that actually. Any day is fine.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    The only appropriate thing is to call every day. You must call and wish us Happy Hannukah every day of Hannukah or else we consider it very rude and will shun you completely.

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    ThroceresKetBraCreaganMagellSlacker71templewulfadmanbJoolanderLoisLane
  • RayzeRayze Registered User regular
    Holy crap @ceres, that's that same exact menorah I got this year. Super cheap but very pretty.

    ceres
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Rayze wrote: »
    Holy crap @ceres, that's that same exact menorah I got this year. Super cheap but very pretty.

    That is the one I went to get but they were sold out near me. I got a different one but I really like it.

    03x29di.png
    ceres
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    They had blue and pink, and pink is unforgivable.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    RayzeDisruptedCapitalistSlacker71
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Happy night 6, everybody.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Tcheldor
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Night 7 down, one to go.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Tox
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Oh I totally missed this thread.

    oh well, Happy belated Hannukah and New Years, my friends.

  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    The Hannukah thread should have ended by now but it's still going!

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStigCFN: Stiggles
    Fencingsaxwandering
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    a lot of bad things that should have ended in 2016 are still going.

    at least let us keep something good.

    ceresMagic Pink
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Yeah.

    Let us have our Jewish Refuge in the sea of.... whatever all that is happening out there.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Nothing good. :/ Debating whether or not to send my son to school on the 20th.. and any number of days after that...

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    :(

    Is it that bad out where you are, Ceres? I know you said it was bad, but. Surely he'd be ok at school? Isn't he at a day school?

    I'm fretting about my parents and brother. I'm blessing everything that we're down here and not at home.

    But my heart aches for you and your young family. And everybody else.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2017
    I don't know. I've always been nervous about this sort of thing.. much moreso than other Jewish people I know. But the things I'm reading about going on in other states.. they aren't that far from here. It seems like so many are content to see antisemitism as an over-and-done deal, a thing of the past. I was literally raised not to forget that it never really disappears and is just under the surface of polite society whether we want to see it or not.

    My great-aunt used to tell me to be very careful around people who laugh at antisemitic or racist jokes... they might tell you it's okay to laugh because it's only a joke, but to find it funny is to be willing to turn a blind eye to it, and only a short step from believing and being willing to act (or fail to act) upon it.

    I'm definitely glad I don't live in Montana right now, but it's not like Montana is on another planet, either.

    In other words... I don't know if I'm right to be so nervous, but... I don't want to find out, either.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    lonelyahava
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Nope. I get that completely.

    I was raised pretty much the same way. My grandparents on both sides were much older when they had my parents, so they were around for a lot. And I had great-grandparents on the Jewish side that had seen even more. 2nd generation Russian Jewish immigrants. Tsarist Russia even.

    I was raised to never forget. To listen to the stories of Hannukah and Purim and the Exodus and to see them both in a historical and religious context, but in a modern one as well. The Shoah was simply the modern retelling of the Inquisition, which was simply a Rennaisance retelling of Purim. All of this has happened before, All of this will happen again. Unless! Unless we never forget and are always vigilant.

    And yet. Here we are. With survivors with tattoos still on their forearms still living. We might not be the primary target of the "other", but it's still there, under the surface and bubbling to the front. A girl that went to Hebrew school with my brother, her family has a few rabbis in it. One part of the family branch lives out in Arizona. They had a large metal menorah in their backyard. Somebody came to the house and turned it into a swastika about a week ago?

    No matter what anybody else says, it's still there. It's always been there. I went to a fairly progressive school in a small town and still was called "K" and an "anne-frank-wannabe" (whatever that meant).


    I don't know if you're right to be nervous, either. But I understand it. and while my small family might not be in the states, I empathize and am nervous as well.

    So I guess, I'm rambling to just say... You're not alone.

    ceres
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Heh, my great-grandmother (mom's mom's mom) came here fleeing pogroms in Russia as well. She was 16 when they put her on a train and said they'd meet her in New York, but they never came. As far as anyone in our family can tell, they never made it out. Meanwhile she's in New York, 16 years old, illiterate, and speaks only Russian. I wish I knew more about her, but she died when I was about 7. My mom still has a lot of her paperwork from her arrival, though. I asked her last name and my mom went through it for the spelling and found about.. four spellings because she spoke no English and couldn't even have read cyrillic much less English to tell anyone writing it how to spell it.

    My great-aunt was my mom's dad's sister, and their family had come over about a generation earlier and they ended up in Texas. She was quick to remind us that we may not have seen much growing up in Pennsylvania, but try growing up Jewish in Texas in the first half of the century. Graffiti and stuff being on fire was just par for the course.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    lonelyahavaLoisLane
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Yeah my family made it to Philadelphia and stayed put. I think my parents were the first on the family to move out of the immediate area (that I know of).

    I knew my Dad's grandfather, but only for a few years. I share a name with his grandmother, as she passed shortly before I was born. But for some reason (heh), my Dad's other grandmother (Bubbe, naturally) decided that once I was born she despised my mother and me. She said some very hurtful things to my mother and my father basically told his Bubbe to go eat sand. And I never met that side of the family at all.

    Mom was born Episcopalean and oddly enough converted in Uni in the late 70s. So I've got the best of both worlds, the not fitting in completely anywhere.



    There are 2 synagogues down here. But neither congregation has been very welcoming. The Orthodox for some rather obvious reasons (I am not Orthodox, nor do I plan to be) and the reform because.... I have no idea. But they haven't made themselves very available. Both are about 40 minutes drive, inner city away.

    So I will do this Jewish thing in my own way, in my own time.

    I'm rather proud that I made Latkes this year. And I've been remembering the Sabbath candles each week as well. I just need to ask my father to send me some more.


    I'm rambling again because I have nobody to talk Jewish stuff with. And that gets lonely.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited January 2017
    This thread is fascinating and heartbreaking

    Tearing up on the train

    I'd love this thread to continue if anybody else had stuff to share (I obviously have nothing and don't even know if I'm supposed to use the term gentile to describe myself)

    Rhesus Positive on
    ceresSlacker71
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2017
    Probably better than using shaygetz... >>

    I'd love that too, actually. I could tell you so much about my specific upbringing, and little related stories from when I was a kid, and invite other Jewish people to do so here as well. Mine, as well as the parts of it that go into my identity, seem so different from others I've talked to.

    Likely also in part because of my Jewish upbringing such as it was, as well as the fact that I am awkward as hell, I have a really hard time finding community in synagogues. We can participate in the one that has my son's school sort of by default, but despite having lived here for 3 1/2 years I never felt a part of things. At my synagogue where I'm from if anyone questioned me or my awkwardness I felt okay about saying 'fight me' because I was a fourth-generation member. It might be nice to have a little tiny community here.

    @lonelyahava To your point, we went to a few different synagogues when we moved here: a Conservative synagogue (which is my background), a Reform synagogue, and a Traditional synagogue, with "Traditional" being what the rest of us call "Orthodox".

    The Conservative synagogue is big compared to what I was used to building-wise, but I dunno, otherwise reasonable-looking. The first service we went to one or two people greeted us and then went to do something else, and a lovely old couple invited us to sit with them during the oneg and they talked to us and asked us about our then-baby and told us all about their kid and their lives and treated us as though we'd always been there. This is where our son's fantastic school is.

    The Reform synagogue was HUGE, everything seemed gilded and fancy to a point that was almost offensive to me, there was a piano for services (which is a no-no as far as I'm concerned), and there were like a hundred people there. None of that is necessarily a deal-breaker for me, but we were there for maybe an hour for a pre-service discussion and walking to the sanctuary, and literally no one talked to us. Literally. No one. I tried to participate in the discussion and was treated as though I wasn't there. After the discussion as we were going to the service and a woman came up to us. I was like finally, someone is talking to me. They asked my husband the baby's name, fawned over him a bit, and then started talking to someone else, and at that point I went "NOPE, we're leaving." Never went back.

    As I least suspected, the Traditional synagogue was by far the most welcoming. They didn't care where we came from or what form of Judaism we subscribed to, they were just happy to see us and say hi and they talked to both of us and we still go to their seder almost every year. They call us their "Pesach friends". Their membership dues were "pay as you can/feel moved to". Literally the only reason we don't go to their services is that I really want to be able to sit with my family and it's like their one rule they insist everyone follow. They wouldn't be willing to let me read from the Torah, which I enjoy doing, but I'd survive. They're the one that made me feel most at home. The rabbi actually took the time to meet us for a cup of coffee before we'd ever been.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    lonelyahavaLoisLane
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I'm very glad that you found a place that you feel comfortable in. And that has a great school for little man.



    I grew up in Philadelphia until I was 8. I went to a Hebrew nursery school and then hebrew school and was as fluent in Hebrew as you could expect an 8 year old to be.

    But then we moved from the city down to the country in small town southern Delaware. There was a small Jewish population in town and the one Conservative synagogue about 30 minutes away. I was one of two kids in my grade that was Jewish, but the only one that was proudly so. My parents came in every year to talk about Hannukah, give dreidels away, do latke demonstrations. I brought in hamantaschen for Purim and even made matzah ball soup one year in elementary school. By the time Middle School came around, I was that fat, smart, Jewish girl from out of town (because if you haven't lived in that town for 3 generations, you're always from out of town).

    I had to fight every single year to take the High Holy Days off from school and have it not count against my attendance. Every. Year. There was no notes in the school files or anything about me having the days off and them being excused. So at the beginning of every school year, my parents would write to the teacher, explaining about the holidays. And every year my parents would go into the principal's office to fight with them about it. Same principal every year as well! Senior year they tried to tell me that I wasn't going to graduate because I'd missed 3 days of school for the Holidays.

    Everybody assumed that we'd get the time off for Hannukah, never understood the High Holidays being more important. Seventh Grade is when Holocaust literature is taught. And inevitably, the English classes do The Diary of Anne Frank. And of course we did it as the play, and of course I was given the part of Anne to read. And of course the only other Jew was given the part of Peter. Because of course we were. I was allowed to skip most of the Holocaust learning stuff actually, because my synagogue had already covered it all.

    Because of course they did. This new synagogue had Hebrew school 2 nights a week. Just enough time to teach us the basic Hebrew prayers for Sabbath services and to get through our bar/Bat Mitzvah. And enough Jewish history to have a serious persecution complex develop. There was no interest in actual Study (capitalized for a good reason), just get the kids to their Mitzvah and get them out. Such a huge difference from how it would have been had we stayed in Philly.

    But post Bat Mitzvah is a whole other kettle of gefilte fish for another time.

    ceres
  • TcheldorTcheldor Registered User regular
    I suppose I'll share my stories as well. I grew up just north of New York City (one suburb north). My community is pretty Jewish, as in within a 15 or so minute drive you can find a reform synagogue, which I grew up with, two conservative synagogues, and I think there's one or two orthodox ones. Unlike @lonelyahava, a lot of my Christian friends felt more like the "odd man out" in school since there were so many Jews, though I don't actually know the percentage. During the bar/bat mitvah time period it wasn't uncommon to have 3-5 to attend each month for a year. It was crazy.

    Growing up, my parents tried to have Shabbat dinner each Friday and we would do the prayers, though always the first part of the wine prayer (it took me until i was about 13 or so to learn that it wasn't just a two line prayer), and light the candles. We ended up giving up on that around the time I was in middle school.

    I ended up learning just enough Hebrew in Hebrew School to get Bar Mitvahed and read the aleph bet if you gave me vowels. I only knew like 5 words though. I ended up going through a 3 year confirmation program after my Bar Mitvah to study a bit of Talmud etc., but I don't' really recall anything from it. I do know that I loved the concept of the Talmud as a book in which ancient Rabbis would write in the margins of the Torah all of their thoughts about particular passages etc. I was fascinated by that idea.

    I've really let my Judaism fall by the wayside over the past decade. I have Opinions when it comes to religion, and organized religion, and it's more or less caused me to reject a large portion of my heritage, but NY Jews have a culture and values that they care about and it's something you can tell when you talk to people.

    I'm just kinda rambling here, but there ya go.

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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I know exactly what lonelyahava means about Study.. I always desperately wanted it and to learn how to do it but all of that was sorely lacking in my synagogue. I'm kind of jealous of anyone who actually got to learn that stuff as a kid. I can read Hebrew off a page pretty easily but I could probably only tell you what a few of those words mean. A couple years ago I talked to a rabbi who said I read Hebrew like I went to a day school and she always seemed a bit surprised somehow that despite that I didn't know what I was reading. Even now it is all really awkward to explain.

    But NOT as awkward as being one of three or four Jewish kids in your entire school K-12, and having to sit there through every last discussion of the Holocaust. Kids would just kind of sneak glances at me like I personally narrowly avoided a gas chamber or walked my ass out of that pile of bodies to be sitting there with them that day, because me and those pictures were either literally all they knew of Judaism and Jewish people, or that stuff plus whatever hell their church told them I was going to burn in.

    I will never forget the week the Columbine shooting happened, April of my senior year of high school, back when shootings in predominantly white schools were unheard of and not "the fourth time this month". A whole bunch of parents of kids who went to my school freaked out and kept their kids home that week, so a lot of my classes only had a third of the class in for a few days. MY mom's answer to "but aren't you afraid I might DIE?" was "I'll take the risk, you're going to school."

    So anyway, when I got to my English class my teacher basically said yeah we're going to watch a movie this week, and then she proceeded to put on Schindler's List. I managed to sit for about 20 minutes and then NOPE'd the hell on out of there and told her I'd be in the library for the rest of the week since we already covered that unit in Hebrew school every year of my entire life. She just looked at me and said "...yeah okay I'll come get you when we've run out of movie."

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    ohgosh yes.

    I think by the time I hit high school I'd seen the movie version of Anne Frank every year since I was 8. So, 10 years in a row. In Hebrew School. Every April. Even if we were covering the History of Judaism back in the time of the Caliphate and the Moors in spain. We would still pause every year around Yom HaShoah (naturally) to watch Anne Frank.

    I bet I could probably recite the entire thing from memory if I was watching it.

    There's such a thing, I think, as too much "never forget". My Aunt (who is Christian on Mom's side) is a children's librarian. For the last several years (10 or so?) she takes the opportunity to send me a children's holocaust book as my Hannukah present. Without fail. Although, TBF, the Honey Cake book did have a recipe in the back. But at this point I think I've been so over exposed, so overdosed with Holocaust that I do shy away from it. Which is tough to do now, with how things are going in the world, and now that I have my daughter.

    We are doing Sabbath. Or trying to. I have my candles and I've arranged with work that I will have Fridays off forever and ever once I go back to work. My husband understands that Fridays are the main day that it is a requirement he comes home before sundown, that we light the candles, and we have a family meal at the dinner table. Granted it's summer down here and sunset is at like 830pm right now, but he's made it home by 530 these last few Fridays.

    I'm doing a lot more baking, and practicing my Challah skills. I want to try and make my home as Jewish as I can. I speak what little Hebrew I know to Ellie (usually saying "todah" for "thank you" and "lailah tov" for good night.)

    But my Hebrew is attrotious. I could read it, if there's vowels, but I probably wouldn't be able to translate it.

    I took a Hebrew course one summer semester at Uni, and then another Adult hebrew class at my Reform synagogue in Maine. And both times all the basics came flooding back to me and I knew the words and the grammar and I remembered what it was like back when I was 6 or 7 and could hold on basic conversations in Hebrew. But without anywhere to practice it... It all goes away.

    Btw, I do recommend finding some old Shalom Sesame videos if you can. They're dated, but still fun. And about the only reason that I can count to 10 in Hebrew.

    I wish I had the chance to Study. But Confirmation was never a thing on offer to me. And I have tried a few times to get into the Talmud, but I always get a distraction from Life. But I might give it a try again, as Ellie gets older.

    I can still remember my Haftorah story though. Not how to chant it, obviously. But I remember, roughly, which parsha it was.

    I didn't realize just how much I wanted to talk about all of this with other people...

    pooka
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    We aren't doing Hebrew around here and likely won't because of signing. Miles was so late to talk we all started learning to sign, and I want to maintain the simple signs as long as we can especially since he has a baby sister now.

    I wanted to do the Jewish household thing with my kids because I didn't have one, but I've been tired and sick and pregnant till now and haven't been up to it.. also I didn't have one so I'm not really sure where to start. I do have memories of lighting shabbat candles with my grandmother though.. I even still have my great-grandmother's lace shawl at my parents' place. After hanukkah Miles has decided he wants to light shabbat candles which just.. warms my heart so much, and brings back memories of saying the prayer with my grandmother when I was little and we were at her house for it. So this past week we went out and bought some candles, and I let Miles pick out a candle holder. He chose a really nice one and last night we lit them for the first time since before he was born. I think next week we're actually going to try to observe it, which will be amazing. It just felt right to do yesterday after we lit candles, but we were completely unprepared for it.

    Baking might be a little past me for next week... but maybe eventually if we keep it up we'll even work our way up to kiddush and a family dinner because usually right now we eat all over the place.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited January 2017
    The mention of speaking Hebrew, and difficulty of finding folks to speak with...

    I have to think there must be some sort of tech solution to that. Some sort of video conferencing setup, probably a group out there already doing it for Hebrew.

    Label on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    You can find that stuff pretty easily if you look. I've found some for other languages. I've tried to learn Hebrew for real on a number of occasions... as someone who has talent for learning languages, the "rules" make me want to tear my hair out.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    which rules, out of curiosity?

    It's funny, I've got a few things on facebook that I've 'liked' and occasionally I get posts with new recipes and things on them.

    And sometimes, I get ads for other things. Like t-shirts that say "I can't keep calm, I'm a Jewish Mother" and I giggle and then I pause.

    because. I am a Jewish Mother. I mean, I'm Jewish and a Mother, but I'm not a Jewish mother. Or I guess I don' see myself as the stereotypical Jewish Mother. And my mom is totally not the typical Jewish Grandmother.

    But then, is that part of my disconnect from a Jewish community? Or just a result of the changing times and the world being a bit more global? Or maybe it's a result that I wasn't raised so much as needing to be fantastic and perfect (well, I was kinda) and to marry a good Jewish Boy and raise good Jewish Children.

    So is it that I'm not a Jewish Mother, or is the Jewish Mother model changing?


    Just kind of musing to myself.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Yeah well my mother was not a stereotypical Jewish mother, in large part because my Jewish grandmother was bundle of weight-loss based neuroses that had my mom on every fad diet to come along since she was a kid. My grandmother told my mom multiple times (and me once in a while) that as as a healthy-weighted 5-6 year old I shouldn't have snacks because I was putting on too much weight. Now her mom was a stereotypical Jewish mom/grandmother. The memories of my grandmother being Jewish that are not in any way weight-based were lovely though.

    I still have my great-grandmother's lace prayer shawl she used to light shabbat candles.

    My dad converted and his family was Catholic and also his mom died when I was two, so that's all I've got. I know comparatively little about either the traditional or the modern archetype.

    I'm Jewish and I'm a mother but we are also easily the poorest family at the synagogue where my son goes to school. It makes it hard to connect because a) every last birthday party has pepperoni pizza as an option and I have to watch like a hawk because I won't let my son eat pork and b) if he wants a birthday party it will probably be in the park or something because our entire living area would fit comfortably in one of their kids' bedrooms, and we can't really afford the kind of places that typically get rented out for these things. It's not that I'm against spending $500 on a birthday party for a 4-year-old, but.. well... yeah, I guess it is kind of like that. That's something we would need to do instead of a car payment, a month of his tuition, or half our rent.

    Sigh.

    Annnnnnnnyway, the problem with Hebrew for me is conjugation. Vocabulary I can do okay at, it's just learning words for things. But conjugation of the damn verbs seem like they can only be called "rules" because they work 51% of the time, and then the rest of the cases are divided between about 30 different verb types. And then you have to conjugate every last adjective, adverb, and noun appropriately to make the sentence work. I tried to learn it for a little while before my brain went "nooooooooooooooooope fuck that" and decided to take up Japanese instead.

    It's on my to-do list but uh. I'm not going to attempt that on my own.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    DisruptedCapitalistLoisLane
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