Eurovision 2017 thread [without brackets] - spoiler-free title

Platy

Welcome to Eurovision 2017! You probably know the ins and outs. Get on the train (or, rather, form Manboat). Choo choo.

Here's the usual map of all participating countries, by Wikipedia user Avis28:



red - countries in the first semi-final (9 May)
pink - finalists voting during the first semi-final
dark blue - countries in the second semi-final (11 May)
light blue - finalists voting during the second semi-final

All shows begin at 19:00 GMT/20:00 BST/21:00 CEST. You'll be able to watch live on http://www.eurovision.tv/. The grand final is to take place on 13 May.

Participants in the first semi-final, 9 May

Sweden - Robin Bengtsson - "I Can't Go On"
Georgia - Tamara Gachechiladze - "Keep the Faith"
Australia - Isaiah - "Don't Come Easy"
Albania - Lindita - "World"
Belgium - Blanche - "City Lights"
Montenegro - Slavko Kalezić - "Space"
Finland - Norma John - "Blackbird"
Azerbaijan - Dihaj - (Not So Spooky, Not So Scary) "Skeletons"
Portugal - Salvador Sobral - "Amar Pelos Dois" (only song in this semi-final which isn't in English!)
Greece - Demy - "This Is Love"
Poland - Kasia Moś - "Fleshlight"
Moldova - SunStroke Project - "Hey, Mamma!"
Iceland - Svala - "Paper"
Czech Republic - Martina Bárta - "My Turn"
Cyprus - Hovig - "Gravity"
Armenia - Artsvik - "Fly with Me"
Slovenia - Omar Naber - "On My Way"
Latvia - Triana Park - "Line"

Participants in the second semi-final, 11 May

Serbia - Tijana Bogićević - "In Too Deep"
Austria - Nathan Trent - "Running on Air"
Macedonia - Jana Burčeska - "Dance Alone"
Malta - Claudia Faniello - "Breathlessly"
Romania - Ilinca and Alex Florea - "Yodel It!"
Netherlands - O'G3NE - "Lights and Shadows"
Hungary - Joci Pápai - "Origo"
Denmark - Anja Nissen - "Where I Am"
Ireland - Brendan Murray - "Dying to Try"
San Marino - Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson - "Spirit of the Night" (I thought 2014 would've been the last we saw of Valentina Monetta)
Croatia - Jacques Houdek - "My Friend"
Norway - JOWST5 - "Grab the Moment"
Switzerland - Timebelle - "Apollo"
Belarus - NAVI - "Story of My Life"
Bulgaria - Kristian Kostov - "Beautiful Mess"
Lithuania - Fusedmarc - "Rain of Revolution"
Estonia - Koit Toome and Laura - "Verona"
Israel - IMRI - "I Feel Alive"

Participants who already qualified for the final, thus fail to build momentum and end up near the bottom of the scoreboard, 13 May

Ukraine - O.Torvald - "Time"
France - Alma - "Requiem"
Germany - Levina - "Perfect Life"
Italy - Francesco Gabbani - "Occidentali's Karma"
Spain - Manel Navarro - "Do It for Your Lover"
United Kingdom - Lucie Jones - "Never Give Up on You"

Countries which more or less mercifully withdrew from the contest

Russia - Yuliya Samoylova - "Flame Is Burning"

Enjoy?

jgeis

Is, is Poland's song really called Fleshlight?

Indie Winter

hell, yes

this thread

it feels like home

Platy

jgeis wrote: »

Is, is Poland's song really called Fleshlight?

"In Too Deep", "Don't Come Easy", "My Turn", "Do It for Your Lover" and "Beautiful Mess" all sound like they could be about sex

tynic

For the amount Australia invests emotionally in Eurovision you'd think we'd send someone anyone in the country has heard of.

Or maybe that's the point. All the other countries send their bottom tier bullshit, we're just trying to blend in.

Prediction without having clicked the link: Malta will be a schmaltzy ass love ballad.

theSquid

tynic wrote: »

For the amount Australia invests emotionally in Eurovision you'd think we'd send someone anyone in the country has heard of.

Or maybe that's the point. All the other countries send their bottom tier bullshit, we're just trying to blend in.

Prediction without having clicked the link: Malta will be a schmaltzy ass love ballad.

Wiki says he won the eighth season of X Factor.

I think we both just have decent taste in television.

Rhesus Positive

The UK's song being titled "Never Give Up On You" is a layer of irony so thick it reaches the ionosphere

facetious

In fairness to Isaiah, he's really good. (I'm a Yank, but I occasionally watch performance videos from shows like that even if I don't actually give a fuck about the shows themself.)

Also I still have a draft saved when I began to write reviews for the second set of songs last year. I only got through the first set. I'll have to decide if I'm going to subject myself and all of you to that again.

Indie Winter

Rhesus Positive wrote: »

The UK's song being titled "Never Give Up On You" is a layer of irony so thick it reaches the ionosphere

oh this isn't irony

countries no so covertly sending political messages through their songs is old hat

remember after the invasion of crimea russia sent two identical twins united by their huge hair braid interlocking

yeah

symbolism's all over this baby

subtlety, not so much

Indie Winter

also, holy heck, the voice of the irish representatives is so high

YaYa

I miss Jedward

Rhesus Positive

Indie Winter wrote: »

Rhesus Positive wrote: »

The UK's song being titled "Never Give Up On You" is a layer of irony so thick it reaches the ionosphere

oh this isn't irony

countries no so covertly sending political messages through their songs is old hat

remember after the invasion of crimea russia sent two identical twins united by their huge hair braid interlocking

yeah

symbolism's all over this baby

subtlety, not so much

If our song was properly political, it'd be called Fuck You All (Please Buy Our Jam)

Quetzi

YaYa wrote: »

I miss Jedward

We all miss Jedward.

tynic

A duo whose total lack of charisma was only compounded by their complete inability to synchronize. Truly the heart of Eurovision.

Quetzi

I have a friend who has a big crush on one of the members of Jedward (or at least he used to). But just the one.

tynic

Jedward being trapped in the ocean was truly the greatest crisis faced by Ireland this decade.

facetious

Straightzi wrote: »

I have a friend who has a big crush on one of the members of Jedward (or at least he used to). But just the one.

Was it Jed

or Ward?

Platy

I had to look up whether there was indeed such a thing as "Carpathian Yodeling" but apparently Romania's song was criticized in Romania for being "atypical for Romanian culture"

I hope they put up a great show

Platy

Eight days until the first semi-final, that's as many as there are legs on a spider!

The Mantiz

This year we have an entry that is so boring that this outfit was "wildly criticised"



So now she is going to wear the same red dress as she did during the Danish show.

Platy

Platypus Beirut wrote: »

Eight days until the first semi-final, that's as many as there are legs on a spider!

Me IRL

The Mantiz

Australia's entry is pretty darn good this year too.

I'm still a little sour that they didn't win last year.

Platy

So who's going to be here for the first semi-final?

Skeith

Oh hey, I actually have time to watch this for once.

The Mantiz

Just put the kid to bed, and have a pack of chocolate covered marshmallows that I plan to eat tonight, so Im pretty much ready!

Rhesus Positive

I wish there was a show for just the acts that didn't make the finals. I don't watch the semis because I want every act to be fresh on the night.

Platy

Last year we got the real Justin Timberlake and this year we got the Ukrainian one

Platy

Nations bonded together by the language of bad music

The Mantiz

And now the Swedish one

facetious

Sweden's entry has at least surpassed my most important rating scheme, which is the "sounds like an actual song rather than something manufactured in a lab for Eurovision".

Just.. not a good one. 4/10

facetious

I do appreciate that the choreography included voguing.

The Mantiz

And treadmills on the dancefloor. The stupid gimmicks are coming out strong this year :biggrin:

Platy

I don't care for this Bond-esque song at all

facetious

This is definitely not a Real Song. Also it's repetitive as fuck. 2/10

facetious

Hey Isaiah! Okay yes I'm biased because I already like this dude a lot (and he's almost certainly the best live singer in the competition). (Also it's the only sing I've already heard.) And this song does seem like a for realsies song. A bit repetitive but a pretty good effort. 6/10

The Mantiz

Pyrotechnics, on stage dress-change, wind machine, keychange, generic bond song.

It ticked almost every box

Platy

It's strange that they'd now always have to say, "Europe.... and Australia!"

Calciumtrice

Aw yeah, gonna watch this with siblings and pals. We tend to go in mostly blind, think it works preeeetty well that way.

One year I noticed you could put together a fairly well formed Disney musical out of the year's songs. Some ballad for the love song, some good stuff for training montages and THIS GUY for the villain song:

https://youtu.be/FdZzklXoAOg

Also hey @Platypus Beirut, it's been a while! How've you been keeping?

facetious

Belgium would have been way cooler if it kept the more mellow start with piano rather than adding obligatory electronic bullshit. 4/10

Platy

Calciumtrice wrote: »

Also hey @Platypus Beirut, it's been a while! How've you been keeping?

Oh, fine, thanks for asking! Hope you guys are doing okay!

The Mantiz

I would like this song way more if she would just use the higher register instead of sounding like she almost can't reach the lowest notes.