During the garter toss, all the men leapt up to try to catch it.
And the guy in front of me caught it, but it cost him his landing, which ended up being me.
He effectively delivered the People's Elbow right to my dick.
And nobody could hear my pain over his cheers.
Which looking back, is an apt metaphor for my love life.
Your fault for not treating it like the bouquet toss, you should have been stepping on that guy's calf when it got thrown so that he went down forward and you had a nice soft place to land.
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knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
Jimmy Johns is some disappointing garbage I tell you what.
"Lettuce as sandwich filler" should be punishable by death
Without the lettuce everything Jimmy Johns makes is half the size and flavor of any sandwich I can make in my own kitchen. And then quickly eat before making two more to sit down at whatever I was doing with my snack.
I'll tell you what I hate
How chipper every one of those sandwich jockeys are
Creeps me the fuck out
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
Jimmy Johns is some disappointing garbage I tell you what.
"Lettuce as sandwich filler" should be punishable by death
Without the lettuce everything Jimmy Johns makes is half the size and flavor of any sandwich I can make in my own kitchen. And then quickly eat before making two more to sit down at whatever I was doing with my snack.
I'll tell you what I hate
How chipper every one of those sandwich jockeys are
Creeps me the fuck out
yeah what the fuck you're getting paid minimum wage stop that
On the other hand I just tore open a packet and poured it into hot water and that's how I made mashed potatoes.
And they were still better than anything from Jimmy Johns.
Last weekend I got together with the cosplay girl for dinner because I ain't wanna eat alone. Don't wanna air her business all over the internet, so short version, she had a thing with a guy and was pretty bummed out about how it ended. Well, after running around all over town trying to figure out what to eat we ended up heading to a place that I've been before, and there's this little gelato cart next to it. And she's just like staring at the gelato truck going "uuuuuh", and I notice this guy walking up behind her from the restaurant we were GONNA go to until I saw it and realized it wasn't what I wanted. And I'm like "oh, no fucking way...." and sure enough, yes, it's this guy. Apparently he works for the company that owns the gelato truck.
And all I can think is "Dammit, this sucks for her, I'm sweaty and gross and ain't cut my hair in a dogs age, I don't cut a splendid picture of manhood for this girl to save face on..." but I ain't think much of it. We talked about it a little at dinner and I apologized for not bringing my A Game and she laughed and we had a nice dinner at another spot nearby that was tasty.
Come to find out that the guy asked her a whole bunch of questions about me this week, including why I basically had no reaction to him outside of a cordial "nice to meet you".
It's petty and ridiculous but I can't help feeling like I just dunked all over this guy (who was not very nice to my friend) and it feels GREAT.
Hrng I gotta go to the hospital in the morning if I'm not feeling better. I think I might have appendicitis. I'd drive right now just to be sure but I had 2 glasses of wine and it's going to be a couple hours at least till I'm sober.
But hey I got to see my step brother visiting from north Carolina tonight.
Tallahasseeriel on
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Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
I will leave you all with this though.
My buddy is dating this amazing woman who we all absolutely love. And during the wedding I confessed my romantic difficulties to her.
I'm paraphrasing but this was her inspiration speech to me:
Jimmy-Dean, finding love is hard. I thought I found it in my early twenties but that ended in divorce and it took so many years but now I'm with Phil and I wouldn't trade any of it away. So I'm going to tell you this: don't settle. Keep looking. One day you'll find the perfect woman for you and the two of you can double team guys & girls. Just fuck everybody together. Keep that torch lit.
It was her Oscar moment.
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
Hrng I gotta go to the hospital in the morning if I'm not feeling better. I think I might have appendicitis. I'd drive right now just to be sure but I had 2 glasses of wine and it's going to be a couple hours at least till I'm sober.
But hey I got to see my step brother visiting from north Carolina tonight.
Appendicitis is no joke. I'm not a doctor, but if that's what you're concerned about you might want to think about medical attention sooner rather than later.
Hrng I gotta go to the hospital in the morning if I'm not feeling better. I think I might have appendicitis. I'd drive right now just to be sure but I had 2 glasses of wine and it's going to be a couple hours at least till I'm sober.
But hey I got to see my step brother visiting from north Carolina tonight.
Appendicitis is no joke. I'm not a doctor, but if that's what you're concerned about you might want to think about medical attention sooner rather than later.
I was feeling OK enough last night to sleep, I think walkimg home across the street from my step brother's place aggravated it. I'm still in a bit of pain this morning though so probably going to go get checked out this before noon.
I dunno what it is, I just got over that bronchitis and now whatever is going on in my right side blech.
Hrng I gotta go to the hospital in the morning if I'm not feeling better. I think I might have appendicitis. I'd drive right now just to be sure but I had 2 glasses of wine and it's going to be a couple hours at least till I'm sober.
But hey I got to see my step brother visiting from north Carolina tonight.
Appendicitis is no joke. I'm not a doctor, but if that's what you're concerned about you might want to think about medical attention sooner rather than later.
I was feeling OK enough last night to sleep, I think walkimg home across the street from my step brother's place aggravated it. I'm still in a bit of pain this morning though so probably going to go get checked out this before noon.
I dunno what it is, I just got over that bronchitis and now whatever is going on in my right side blech.
I was positive I had appendicitis when I had my first kidney stone.
It's not really so much that people are gonna hold it against you or be upset if you don't, but more they need to know how to arrange tables and order enough food and booze for everyone. E: But they do anticipate many people will have a significant other they'd like to bring.
Plenty of people go single. My sister's wedding was probably like 25% singles.
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
My sister actually put all the single people together sort of like it was a mixer or something. So they could find people to dance with easier or whatever.
Some people appreciate the RSVP without the +1, if you know for certain.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
In my experience having a date to a wedding isn't at all expected, but a majority of the wedding guests WILL have dates and you can end up feeling kind of left out if you don't have someone with you. If you're a naturally sociable person this maybe isn't an issue but I generally need at least someone I'm already comfortable with in order to loosen up myself.
I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding.
I got drunk, cried a bit in the snow, then went back inside and requested the mortal kombat song to jump around to.
Yeah, having a date is definitely not the expectation of weddings I've been to
Like, if it's a long term partner, then yes, they'll likely be invited
But you don't just give plus ones out to everybody, that shit's valuable
Most weddings I've been to +1s were basically, as long as you let us know well ahead of time, sure, bring your +1 or your kids or whatever.
Except my best friend's wedding. They got married at a retreat/nature center in the mountains in Colorado. That guest list was extremely tightly curated. Because there was a point at which they couldn't add more people or the wedding party would get forced over cliff.
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Weddings are probably the social situation I excel at the most. I'm capable of being both politely pleasant or charmingly lascivious, I have weirdly divergent tastes in media and stuff like that, I love dancing, and I look great in a suit. I will generally make friends with several family members, flirt with every member of the bridal party, become best bros with the bartender, and meet every person I possibly can at some point or another. Half the time I end up in de facto charge of the after party, if there is one.
I actually probably wouldn't want to have a date at a wedding, I feel like that would slow me down.
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And the guy in front of me caught it, but it cost him his landing, which ended up being me.
He effectively delivered the People's Elbow right to my dick.
And nobody could hear my pain over his cheers.
Which looking back, is an apt metaphor for my love life.
hmm
nope, not seeing it
please elaborate
Or sometimes hedonism comes in the form of an elbow to the dick.
Your fault for not treating it like the bouquet toss, you should have been stepping on that guy's calf when it got thrown so that he went down forward and you had a nice soft place to land.
I'll tell you what I hate
How chipper every one of those sandwich jockeys are
Creeps me the fuck out
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
yeah what the fuck you're getting paid minimum wage stop that
On the other hand I just tore open a packet and poured it into hot water and that's how I made mashed potatoes.
And they were still better than anything from Jimmy Johns.
And all I can think is "Dammit, this sucks for her, I'm sweaty and gross and ain't cut my hair in a dogs age, I don't cut a splendid picture of manhood for this girl to save face on..." but I ain't think much of it. We talked about it a little at dinner and I apologized for not bringing my A Game and she laughed and we had a nice dinner at another spot nearby that was tasty.
Come to find out that the guy asked her a whole bunch of questions about me this week, including why I basically had no reaction to him outside of a cordial "nice to meet you".
It's petty and ridiculous but I can't help feeling like I just dunked all over this guy (who was not very nice to my friend) and it feels GREAT.
But hey I got to see my step brother visiting from north Carolina tonight.
My buddy is dating this amazing woman who we all absolutely love. And during the wedding I confessed my romantic difficulties to her.
I'm paraphrasing but this was her inspiration speech to me:
It was her Oscar moment.
This says a lot about him really.
Satans..... hints.....
There was a solid decade before of failure.
Imagine How I Met Your Mother.
But dial back the amount of dates by a solid 90%.
And fill that newly created void with sadness and alcohol
Appendicitis is no joke. I'm not a doctor, but if that's what you're concerned about you might want to think about medical attention sooner rather than later.
But 100% on being the only single person there. Did that last month. Great feeling.
I was feeling OK enough last night to sleep, I think walkimg home across the street from my step brother's place aggravated it. I'm still in a bit of pain this morning though so probably going to go get checked out this before noon.
I dunno what it is, I just got over that bronchitis and now whatever is going on in my right side blech.
I, on the other hand, I am dreading not having a date for a friend's wedding in September
Time to find out which of the bridesmaids are single.
I was positive I had appendicitis when I had my first kidney stone.
But nope, kidney stones.
I hope you do not have kidney stones, Uriel.
expected but not required afaik
man that is dumb.
Like, screw you Linda just be glad I showed up I'm not trying to put on nice pants and dupe some poor soul into coming to this with me.
tbh I'd cause more of a ruckas if I did turn up with a date
D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
Like, if it's a long term partner, then yes, they'll likely be invited
But you don't just give plus ones out to everybody, that shit's valuable
Plenty of people go single. My sister's wedding was probably like 25% singles.
I'll let this one slide Linda
Some people appreciate the RSVP without the +1, if you know for certain.
"It was at a table out in the garage with a sign that read Shame Hole."
I don't know what's popular
I just know that my friend is getting married and I got an invitation
And the guest blank space is starting at me
I got drunk, cried a bit in the snow, then went back inside and requested the mortal kombat song to jump around to.
and they all end the same way: me and the bride's father getting trashed at the bar. father-in-laws love me and i don't know why.
Except my best friend's wedding. They got married at a retreat/nature center in the mountains in Colorado. That guest list was extremely tightly curated. Because there was a point at which they couldn't add more people or the wedding party would get forced over cliff.
I actually probably wouldn't want to have a date at a wedding, I feel like that would slow me down.
It's endlessly: "So when are you going to settle down and have kids?" for several hours, from multiple people.