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What If...You Read This Thread?

13

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  • graizurgraizur __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Dr. Frenchenstein wrote: »
    i think it's fused to his head, i've never seen him without it.

    What if... was cool for a while, but most of their stories degraded into some miniscule change causing the deaths of everyone in the universe. It just got old.

    I'd like to see What if...Slapstick didn't beat Radioactive Bum.


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    I thought I was the only one to remember that story. I liked the premise that who ever controls the dreams of the world controls the world. Very prescient.

    graizur on
  • OrogogusOrogogus San DiegoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Reynolds wrote: »
    Wolverine's 'powers' aren't really that useful against Kitty, so I guess she'd be a pretty good choice.
    You know, I saw this comic, specifically the part where he, uh...
    ...rubs out the Invisible Woman, and I was left wondering, "what the hell was that?" The posters here are always going on about how powerful Sue Storm is, force fields in the brain, blah blah blah, and then here was a bizarre scene where she was trying to suffocate Wolverine by putting a force field around his head. So he solves the problem by giving himself a tracheotomy and then stabbing her, instead of just holding his breath and stabbing her. And she just took it, instead of, I don't know, a force field in the brain, a force field around Wolverine, a force field around herself, instead of just around Wolverine's head? I mean, what the hell?

    Orogogus on
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sue was having a blonde moment at the worst possible time?

    Ringo on
  • AoiAoi Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Dr. Frenchenstein wrote: »
    What if X-men didn't stop inferno was pretty cool. like EVERYBODY dies.


    Sounds like What If The Marvel Superheroes Didn't Stop Atlantis Attacks. Not only dies absolutely everyone on the planet die, Set's offspring rip holes in reality and slither through to consume more Earths. I was always kinda disappointed that they never showed up again :)

    Aoi on
  • MunchMunch Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    It's sort of an unwritten rule that What Ifs? will attempt to kill off as many superheroes as they can, in ways that would never work in canon stories. This goes double for Spider-Man.

    Munch on
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  • AoiAoi Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Munch wrote: »
    It's sort of an unwritten rule that What Ifs? will attempt to kill off as many superheroes as they can, in ways that would never work in canon stories. This goes double for Spider-Man.

    Spider-Man and Wolvie. I'm moderately certain that I never saw a What If with him that he didn't end up dead, and I'm also fairly sure that 9 times out of 10 you got a flaming picture of his skeleton as part of that death.

    Edit: Wait... A picture of his flaming skeleton. I don't think I was ever reading a comic that was on fire.

    Aoi on
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I love that Fury actually calls it a "space War"

    Langly on
  • AoiAoi Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Wildcat wrote: »
    graizur wrote: »
    I wonder what happened when Peter Parker married BlackCat instead. Seems like Bendis's Shadowcat character. Maybe that is where he got the idea from.
    Cat and Spidey become a crimefighting team, though Peter is worried by Felicia's more brutal methods (including trying to permanently kill Venom). She also disrupts Kraven's Last Hunt.

    Unfortunately, when Peter proposes, Cat takes the opportunity to gloat to MJ about her impending marriage to Spider-Man - a nearby hood overhears them, figures out that Parker and MJ spilt a while ago and puts two and two together.

    They get married at Niagra Falls, but Felicia seems to prefer Spidey rather than Peter, especially to get her (ahem) 'in the mood'. Peter insists on living apart to protect his secret identity, which pisses Felicia off even more. Meanwhile she gets paranoid about whether Peter is just on the rebound from MJ.

    The hood mentioned above sells his information to the Vulture, who blows up Aunt May's house (she survives). Vulture tries to kill Felicia too, but Peter stops him and is about to permanently fuck his shit up when Silver Sable, Sandman and Paladin stop him. He accuses Felicia of being too careless about his identity and dumps her.

    Someone kills the Vulture in prison, his last words being "Spider-Man ...".

    Spidey, disconsolate, pops in on Sable to pick up his share of the bounty that was on Vulture's head. Sable sees his distress and asks him what's up, so they talk and share their stories of guilt and responsibility (hmm ...). He then goes to see MJ but she's busy with her new guy. As he leaves Sable's team intercept him because of Vulture's murder, MJ gets in the way a bit and Cat swings by, picking up MJ to get her out of the way (saying that if anyone ends MJ, it'll be her - still paranoid!). Cat admits to killing Vulture so Sable's gang go after her. She pushes MJ back towards her house but MJ slips on some of Sandman's sand and tumbles off the window ledge. Felicia tries to save her but Paladin, arriving late, shoots her before she can do so. Spidey saves MJ but Cat hits the street and dies as Peter watches. MJ walks away for good.

    Uatu pops up to explain that Peter mourns for a long time, then resumes his career, sometimes solo but often in partnership with Silver Sable (ah-hah!).


    If I remember right, that last "often in partnership" panel was of Peter and Sable sitting in front of a fire in Sable's home. There was some hot partnering going on right there. :winky:

    Aoi on
  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Orogogus wrote: »
    Reynolds wrote: »
    Wolverine's 'powers' aren't really that useful against Kitty, so I guess she'd be a pretty good choice.
    You know, I saw this comic, specifically the part where he, uh...
    ...rubs out the Invisible Woman, and I was left wondering, "what the hell was that?" The posters here are always going on about how powerful Sue Storm is, force fields in the brain, blah blah blah, and then here was a bizarre scene where she was trying to suffocate Wolverine by putting a force field around his head. So he solves the problem by giving himself a tracheotomy and then stabbing her, instead of just holding his breath and stabbing her. And she just took it, instead of, I don't know, a force field in the brain, a force field around Wolverine, a force field around herself, instead of just around Wolverine's head? I mean, what the hell?


    The only part of her fight I seem to remember is
    when he pops up through the floor and stabs her in the foot. I forget what happened after that but I imagine the idea is the pain and surprise stopped her from coming up with a better idea.

    Scooter on
  • Target PracticeTarget Practice Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Orogogus wrote: »
    Reynolds wrote: »
    Wolverine's 'powers' aren't really that useful against Kitty, so I guess she'd be a pretty good choice.
    You know, I saw this comic, specifically the part where he, uh...
    ...rubs out the Invisible Woman, and I was left wondering, "what the hell was that?" The posters here are always going on about how powerful Sue Storm is, force fields in the brain, blah blah blah, and then here was a bizarre scene where she was trying to suffocate Wolverine by putting a force field around his head. So he solves the problem by giving himself a tracheotomy and then stabbing her, instead of just holding his breath and stabbing her. And she just took it, instead of, I don't know, a force field in the brain, a force field around Wolverine, a force field around herself, instead of just around Wolverine's head? I mean, what the hell?

    If it was the "Enemy of the State" one, I think the excuse was that she "wasn't ready" for him. The plan had been for her to keep a force field around the building or something.

    Also, that "What if Frank Castle died?" thing looks really stupid.

    Target Practice on
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  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Target Practice wrote: »
    Orogogus wrote: »
    Reynolds wrote: »
    Wolverine's 'powers' aren't really that useful against Kitty, so I guess she'd be a pretty good choice.
    You know, I saw this comic, specifically the part where he, uh...
    ...rubs out the Invisible Woman, and I was left wondering, "what the hell was that?" The posters here are always going on about how powerful Sue Storm is, force fields in the brain, blah blah blah, and then here was a bizarre scene where she was trying to suffocate Wolverine by putting a force field around his head. So he solves the problem by giving himself a tracheotomy and then stabbing her, instead of just holding his breath and stabbing her. And she just took it, instead of, I don't know, a force field in the brain, a force field around Wolverine, a force field around herself, instead of just around Wolverine's head? I mean, what the hell?

    If it was the "Enemy of the State" one, I think the excuse was that she "wasn't ready" for him. The plan had been for her to keep a force field around the building or something.

    Also, that "What if Frank Castle died?" thing looks really stupid.

    I think it's one of those so stupid it's funny things.

    Fiaryn on
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  • OrogogusOrogogus San DiegoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Target Practice wrote: »
    Orogogus wrote: »
    Reynolds wrote: »
    Wolverine's 'powers' aren't really that useful against Kitty, so I guess she'd be a pretty good choice.
    You know, I saw this comic, specifically the part where he, uh...
    ...rubs out the Invisible Woman, and I was left wondering, "what the hell was that?" The posters here are always going on about how powerful Sue Storm is, force fields in the brain, blah blah blah, and then here was a bizarre scene where she was trying to suffocate Wolverine by putting a force field around his head. So he solves the problem by giving himself a tracheotomy and then stabbing her, instead of just holding his breath and stabbing her. And she just took it, instead of, I don't know, a force field in the brain, a force field around Wolverine, a force field around herself, instead of just around Wolverine's head? I mean, what the hell?

    If it was the "Enemy of the State" one, I think the excuse was that she "wasn't ready" for him. The plan had been for her to keep a force field around the building or something.
    Well, it was just so weird all around that I had to reread it to understand what they were trying to get at. And I'm still not sure I got it right.

    Wolverine had a force field around his head and was coughing instead of killing Sue then and there. Then he popped a claw and put a hole in his neck so he could breathe, while saying something like "And this little piggy gave himself a tracheotomy." And then he sheathed his claw, put his hand against Sue's head, and snikted her through the brain. At best, it seems like a questionable understanding of physiology combined with bizarre pacing - it had to have been easier for Wolverine to just kill her in the first place, and this way it looked like Sue had all the time in the world to find some other way to use a forcefield to not get stabbed.

    At worst, I still have no idea what was supposed to be happening in that scene.

    Orogogus on
  • graizurgraizur __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    I don't think the writer could be bothered to write a more convincing way for Logan to kill Sue. I think the writer just said "f*ck it, it's Wolverine." and threw some stuff together because it's already a forgone conclusion that a super powered mass murderer would figure out a legitimate way to kill a super powered house wife former astronaut super hero.

    graizur on
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Maybe Jean Loring stepped on her brain?

    Ringo on
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I really enjoy alternate reality takes on established superheroes, pastiches, elseworlds and so on.

    DouglasDanger on
  • graizurgraizur __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    What if Tony Stark, Reed Richards and Hank Pym took over the Marvel universe?

    What if SHIELD supported the Mutant Registration Act?

    What if Nick Fury was a fugitive from the law?

    What if every villain knew Daredevil's identity?

    What if Hulk conquered earth?

    We to enjoy alternate reality takes on established heroes.

    graizur on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    graizur, this is some Flowers for Algernon shit in reverse.

    What happened, man?

    Calamity Jane on
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  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    what is happening is that the latest crop of stuff is so ridiculous that his mind is rejecting reality

    DouglasDanger on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I just thought of something cool, actually.

    Sue puts an invisible bubble over Wolverine's head. He staggers towards her, disorientated.

    Then he GRABS her and headbutts her, knocking her out with the invisible bubble.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • HooraydiationHooraydiation Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    I just thought of something cool, actually.

    Sue puts an invisible bubble over Wolverine's head. He staggers towards her, disorientated.

    Then he GRABS her and headbutts her, knocking her out with the invisible bubble.

    She could have just raised an invisible pillar and put herself out of reach.

    Or surrounded herself on all sides with barriers that Hulk would have trouble busting.

    Hooraydiation on
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  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Aoi wrote: »
    If I remember right, that last "often in partnership" panel was of Peter and Sable sitting in front of a fire in Sable's home. There was some hot partnering going on right there. :winky:
    You're damn right there was. :winky:

    Wildcat on
  • The_LightbringerThe_Lightbringer Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What if Dr.Strange lost his funk?

    The_Lightbringer on
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  • graizurgraizur __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    How about "What if Jim Rhodes received Extremis?"

    graizur on
  • JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    The_Lightbringer wrote: »
    What if Dr.Strange lost his funk?

    Or What If ... Luke Cage inherited the power of Thor?!

    lukecagethorjs5.jpg

    JoeUser on
  • kdrudykdrudy Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    That is almost as great as "Where's my money, honey?"

    kdrudy on
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  • ReynoldsReynolds Gone Fishin'Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I had a great idea for "What if the Hulk started the Fantastic Four?" Basically Bruce gets Betty to let him onto her father's military base so he can test a gamma bomb. The kid he saves...whose name I can't remember, for some reason...would be there too, and Bruce's She-Hulk cousin.

    Meanwhile, a sub-plot where Reed ends up turning Ben into a monster and has to team up with Doom, General Ross, and Bruce's team to stop him.

    Reynolds on
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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited May 2007
    That's actually not that great of an idea, I don't think.

    DJ Eebs on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    No, it sounds kind of terrible.

    But, exactly like what something What If would do.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • ReynoldsReynolds Gone Fishin'Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I thought the parallels were interesting. Both Reed and Bruce are scientists that are accidently exposed to radiation that gives them super powers and affects their friends and family. The Thing and the Hulk have always had a rivalry as well. Just seemed to fit together well...

    I hate you guys.

    Reynolds on
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  • PbPb Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    It's not really a rivalry when one can completely curb stomp the other.

    Pb on
  • HooraydiationHooraydiation Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Was there ever a "What If?" where Spider-Man joined Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters? He'd have fit right in, being feared and hated, and it'd have given him a chance to indulge in the scientific pursuits he hasn't had the time for as a solo hero.

    And hey, a different hot redhead.

    Hooraydiation on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Hooraydiation wrote: »
    Was there ever a "What If?" where Spider-Man joined Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters? He'd have fit right in, being feared and hated, and it'd have given him a chance to indulge in the scientific pursuits he hasn't had the time for as a solo hero.

    They kind of did that back in the 90s Spider-Man cartoon. He grew the extra arms and he went there seeking help. The X-Men were like "we only help natural born mutants, GTFO".

    DarkPrimus on
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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I enjoyed reading the starwars Infinities (I think they where called).

    The first series where Luke fails to blow up the deathstar.
    The second where Luke dies on Hoth.
    The third where Threepio breaks during negotiations with Leia/Boush.

    Some entertaining reading there.

    see317 on
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    see317 wrote: »
    I enjoyed reading the starwars Infinities (I think they where called).

    The first series where Luke fails to blow up the deathstar.
    The second where Luke dies on Hoth.
    The third where Threepio breaks during negotiations with Leia/Boush.

    Some entertaining reading there.

    Yeah, if you're fucking eight years old.

    Because that's about the age of the person who thought those stories were a good idea.

    Ending of SW Infinities: Yoda suicide-pilots the Death Star into Corescaunt. Because killing trillions of people is totally Light Side.

    Ending of ROTJ Infinities: Vader is dressed up in a WHITE version of his suit of armor (with blue eye lenses) and is all like "Hay guys, let's go hunt the Emperor down".

    I don't even know what ESB Infinities was like, but I'm sure it's some retard-strength tripe like the rest of them.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • VirralVirral Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I've got to say, I'm surprised noone really mentioned Age of Apocalypse. It was essentially a huge What If... event, and I know not everyone loves it but I thought it was fantastic at the time. Now I'm back into comics one of the first things I did was pick up the AoA complete trades, because I never did finish the damn story back in the 90s.

    It was just so ambitious, having Xavier killed in the past, and then literally replacing the various x-books with their AoA titles to show what had changed and how the characters discovered the problem and worked towards reparing the damage. Going back and re-reading them in chronological order has been great, because I will admit it was pretty overwhelming at the time working out what went where timeline wise.

    And of course, it does follow the honoured What If... tradition of killing the fuck out of as many characters as they could possibly get away with. Good times... good times...

    Virral on
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  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I loved every single character in AoA. Especially Blink and Morph, so it's double awesome that they got an ongoing (even if it's not exactly AoA Morph).

    Scooter on
  • VirralVirral Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I really like the sound of Exiles, and I love the AoA characters too, but because I'm (probably) slighlty OCD about having a complete collection, that means I'd have to start from the beginning... and thats like 20 trades or something crazy. It's on my list, but unfortunately not for anytime soon :(

    Virral on
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  • HooraydiationHooraydiation Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Hooraydiation wrote: »
    Was there ever a "What If?" where Spider-Man joined Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters? He'd have fit right in, being feared and hated, and it'd have given him a chance to indulge in the scientific pursuits he hasn't had the time for as a solo hero.

    They kind of did that back in the 90s Spider-Man cartoon. He grew the extra arms and he went there seeking help. The X-Men were like "we only help natural born mutants, GTFO".

    Why are they such dicks! He's essentially the same thing!

    Hooraydiation on
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  • BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2007
    Hooraydiation wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Hooraydiation wrote: »
    Was there ever a "What If?" where Spider-Man joined Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters? He'd have fit right in, being feared and hated, and it'd have given him a chance to indulge in the scientific pursuits he hasn't had the time for as a solo hero.

    They kind of did that back in the 90s Spider-Man cartoon. He grew the extra arms and he went there seeking help. The X-Men were like "we only help natural born mutants, GTFO".

    Why are they such dicks! He's essentially the same thing!

    Haha. "Get off our lawn you six-armed freak."

    Bogart on
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  • graizurgraizur __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Yeah, Parker not going to Xavier's school...


    One of those suspend your disbelief things, FOR ME, that sort of ruins comics if I think about it too much.

    graizur on
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