Club PA 2.0 has arrived! If you'd like to access some extra PA content and help support the forums, check it out at patreon.com/ClubPA
The image size limit has been raised to 1mb! Anything larger than that should be linked to. This is a HARD limit, please do not abuse it.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Wizards: The Dumb Nerds That Can. An Melding Guide

245

Posts

  • 21stCentury21stCentury A lovely pixel artist and gamecrafter [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Fearghaill wrote: »

    that's, amazingly untrue. I've seen a wizard die three different ways. I can't even tell you about them because the third death removed them from all time. So technically i never saw them.

    which is why we don't fuck with time magic.

    Things I won't touch for obvious reasons: Chronomancy, Necromancy, Gyromancy

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    yeah but, see, his physical body was ripped apart by a band saw, then while he was trying to reverse time his soul was ripped assundered by the demon he summoned and lost control of, leading to soul death, and since the spell wasn't finished yet it became unstable, and removed his soul fragments, the demon, and about a ten foot cube of the workshop from all time forever.

    I would count that as three deaths, or two deaths and utter annihilation.

  • FearghaillFearghaill If there is nothing but what we make in this world let us make goodRegistered User regular
    Sure, but given that last part, if you had to mark on a calendar when it happened, what date would you mark? If the wizard now never existed, then their various deaths never happened.

    It's a technicality, but wizards fucking love technicalities. Magic is in many ways finding loopholes and technicalities in the laws of nature.

    NeoToma
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    Melding wrote: »
    Fearghaill wrote: »

    that's, amazingly untrue. I've seen a wizard die three different ways. I can't even tell you about them because the third death removed them from all time. So technically i never saw them.

    which is why we don't fuck with time magic.

    Things I won't touch for obvious reasons: Chronomancy, Necromancy, Gyromancy

    Brainleech on
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Null Registered User regular
    Melding why are you on forced leave

    B.net: Naphtali#1830 | Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | PSN: EI-Naphtali | Wish List
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    Sure, but given that last part, if you had to mark on a calendar when it happened, what date would you mark? If the wizard now never existed, then their various deaths never happened.

    It's a technicality, but wizards fucking love technicalities. Magic is in many ways finding loopholes and technicalities in the laws of nature.

    March 17 2014, it was related to other events we can prove happened, however, there's only record of one wizard instead of two.

    Interestingly enough a ring the wizard created still exists, however, if it ever leaves that building it will also be removed from time.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Wizard Elimination Method One:

    A gun

    xhmWdd6m.jpg

    Wizards for the most part are still mortals, shooting them with a gun can and will most likely hurt them a lot.

    The instances you have to worry about is when they don't work. some wizards for example don't need their human body in full working order to be alive, necromancers for example can often self animate. Magic dampening bullets however can help this, however they're often cost prohibitive.

    this leads to the idea of "kill them before they're dead" with long range sniper strikes, or sleep time assassinations. which both tend to work fairly well.

    However, the majority of wizards, shooting them in the chest with a shotgun will often be enough to take them down. If they can self animate, consult the "How to kill a high level necromancer" guide.

    cB557chrishallett83BucketmanDarth Waiter
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    camo_sig2.png
    PSN: AuthorFrost
    mageofstorm.png
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    That's if they go down that alleyway or into that house

    Still I want to see a Wizard Slasher movie set in the modern world but the brutally insane wizard goes on a tear in a sleepy town

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    wizards are notoriously bad at perception checks, and a well-prepared rogue could ruin one assuming they can get past all the wizard's dungeon/tower defenses

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    StiltsNeoToma
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    if you can lure them into the trap it should, but it's not a gun so i didn't cover it under gun.

    but luring not adventuring wizards into a traps is hard. adventuring wizards is easier just put a bunch of fancy looking cups in an area surrounded by trip wires.

    PLA
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Madican wrote: »
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    if you can lure them into the trap it should, but it's not a gun so i didn't cover it under gun.

    but luring not adventuring wizards into a traps is hard. adventuring wizards is easier just put a bunch of fancy looking cups in an area surrounded by trip wires.

    Do wizards not go out to buy groceries, or other things with predictable routes outside any magical defenses?

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    Madican wrote: »
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    if you can lure them into the trap it should, but it's not a gun so i didn't cover it under gun.

    but luring not adventuring wizards into a traps is hard. adventuring wizards is easier just put a bunch of fancy looking cups in an area surrounded by trip wires.

    Do wizards not go out to buy groceries, or other things with predictable routes outside any magical defenses?

    Not a smart wizard, no.

    NeoToma
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    Madican wrote: »
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    if you can lure them into the trap it should, but it's not a gun so i didn't cover it under gun.

    but luring not adventuring wizards into a traps is hard. adventuring wizards is easier just put a bunch of fancy looking cups in an area surrounded by trip wires.

    Do wizards not go out to buy groceries, or other things with predictable routes outside any magical defenses?

    Not a smart wizard, no.

    I would argue a smart wizard wouldn't be doing things that have people trying to kill them.

    They're probably also in the category of "hard to shoot" for similar reasons.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    Madican wrote: »
    How about wired explosives? I know the whole deal about long-range sniping is to take out the wizard before they even realize they're dead, but some of us aren't supernaturally-good sharpshooters and I figure that hooking up some good, mechanically-sound grenades or mines would go a long way to that same ideal.

    if you can lure them into the trap it should, but it's not a gun so i didn't cover it under gun.

    but luring not adventuring wizards into a traps is hard. adventuring wizards is easier just put a bunch of fancy looking cups in an area surrounded by trip wires.

    Do wizards not go out to buy groceries, or other things with predictable routes outside any magical defenses?

    Not a smart wizard, no.

    I would argue a smart wizard wouldn't be doing things that have people trying to kill them.

    They're probably also in the category of "hard to shoot" for similar reasons.

    you can't reach ultimate power without breaking a bit of reality.

    DoobhRainfallDuke 2.0NeoToma
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    if you're a wizard without enemies

    I would hazard that you're not a very good wizard

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    MeldingGrogBrainleechMoridin889Tommy2HandsRingoZonugalLord_AsmodeusStraightzicB557RainfallStiltschrishallett83Duke 2.0tzeentchlingBucketmanDarth WaiterUsagiNeoTomaSnicketysnickElldrenCurly_BraceKetBraNarbusSolarvalhalla130
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    if you're a wizard without enemies

    I would hazard that you're not a very good wizard

    Sure, but if they're trying to kill you you've failed at not letting them find you, also a not very good wizard.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    if you're a wizard without enemies

    I would hazard that you're not a very good wizard

    Sure, but if they're trying to kill you you've failed at not letting them find you, also a not very good wizard.

    or, maybe you don't care with the mundane pleds think, you could easily smite them with but a flick of yoru wrist, let them come.

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    Dubh wrote: »
    if you're a wizard without enemies

    I would hazard that you're not a very good wizard

    But what if you've wiped out your enemies, and their descendants, because as a wizard you're very thorough about such things?
    And, while you're at it, maybe you've wiped out any of their ancestors who might still be around, and just to be extra thorough, any of their descendants as well. Because OCD is especially dangerous in Wizards.

    Though, to be honest, this youtube clip covers pretty much everything I know about wizards.


    What else do I really need to know?

    see317 on
    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    ChimeraBucketmanNeoTomaironsizide
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    wizards aren't all powerful

    most don't make it past level 6 (highest life expectancy class remains barbarian for numerous reasons)

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    Andy Joe
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    never trust a chronomancer

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    wizards aren't all powerful

    most don't make it past level 6 (highest life expectancy class remains barbarian for numerous reasons)

    conversely, wizards that make it past lvl6 become terrifying

    Lord_AsmodeusNyysjanSolar
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    wizards aren't all powerful

    most don't make it past level 6 (highest life expectancy class remains barbarian for numerous reasons)

    in my experience most "barbarians" tend to die pretty young, and often pointlessly.

    Throwing yourself into the hell portal isn't heroic, it's just dumb.

    this is why we have drones, to throw into hell portals to get data.

  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    But there is some fat exp in those portals

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    But there is some fat exp in those portals

    also, no breathable oxygen.

    never die
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Then hold your breath and see how far you can go

    PLANarbus
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    wizards aren't all powerful

    most don't make it past level 6 (highest life expectancy class remains barbarian for numerous reasons)

    in my experience most "barbarians" tend to die pretty young, and often pointlessly.

    Throwing yourself into the hell portal isn't heroic, it's just dumb.

    this is why we have drones, to throw into hell portals to get data.

    by the sheer volume of stories I've heard of far, more barbarians survive by doing something ridiculous like ripping a tree out of the ground and using it as a club

    then they find another way out of hell and don't bother to return to their friends because they are free and fickle spirits

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
  • ChimeraChimera Monster girl with a snek tail and five eyes Bad puns, that's how eye roll. Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Dubh wrote: »
    wizards aren't all powerful

    most don't make it past level 6 (highest life expectancy class remains barbarian for numerous reasons)

    in my experience most "barbarians" tend to die pretty young, and often pointlessly.

    Throwing yourself into the hell portal isn't heroic, it's just dumb.

    this is why we have drones, to throw into hell portals to get data.

    You called me a barbarian the other day, does this mean I am going to die soon?! D:

    npAs9AI.png
    CHI'S MIDWEEK 80'S & 90's MOVIE MONSTER MASH, EVERY OTHER WED @ 9PM EASTERN
    ☈ Steam: chimera.monster Discord: Chimera #7416
  • PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular


    Naturally where my mind went to.

    - Fixed a bug where the Moon was upside down.
    - Fixed a weird door.
    Bucketman
  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    An excellent way to take out a Wizard is with a speedy grappler. Wizards can do very little if they can't wave their arms around. You probably want some way to fly up to the wizard though.

    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    Pickpocketing a wizards spellbooks, spell component pouch, foci, and other magical implements before killing them is also a sound strategy.

  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    SanderJK wrote: »
    An excellent way to take out a Wizard is with a speedy grappler. Wizards can do very little if they can't wave their arms around. You probably want some way to fly up to the wizard though.

    this doesn't work as well on punch-wizards like Ryu and Goku

    BahamutZERO.gif
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    SanderJK wrote: »
    An excellent way to take out a Wizard is with a speedy grappler. Wizards can do very little if they can't wave their arms around. You probably want some way to fly up to the wizard though.

    this doesn't work as well on punch-wizards like Ryu and Goku

    Ah yes, the much feared muscle wizard:

    the_wizard__pt__vi_by_whodrewthis.jpg

    Inquisitor on
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    SanderJK wrote: »
    An excellent way to take out a Wizard is with a speedy grappler. Wizards can do very little if they can't wave their arms around. You probably want some way to fly up to the wizard though.

    this doesn't work as well on punch-wizards like Ryu and Goku

    Listen, nothing Ryu and or Goku is arcane magic. they projecting their own soul into beams and shit that is an entirely different thing.

    NeoTomaPLA
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    if projecting your soul into a beam isn't magic what is

    BahamutZERO.gif
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    if projecting your soul into a beam isn't magic what is

    fireballs

    ie dhalsim is a wizard

    Cdcniho.jpg
    Ringo
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    if projecting your soul into a beam isn't magic what is

    pulling shit out of the ethereal flows of magic. i stated this at the start.

    Rainfall
  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    Necromancy, I feel, is an underappreciated art.

    Underappreciated, because 90% of Necromancers are assholes, and easily identifiable as such. The skulls everywhere doesn't help.

    Lord_Asmodeus.gifLord_Asmodeus2.gifz1i30sg.png
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    10% of us are actual goths

    the rest are fake goths like a certain unnamed TERF

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Necromancy, I feel, is an underappreciated art.

    Underappreciated, because 90% of Necromancers are assholes, and easily identifiable as such. The skulls everywhere doesn't help.

    Still I feel if the Browns win the Super Bowl I would use that money to hire a Nercomancer to raise Art Modell from his grave to wander around Cleveland for all time.

Sign In or Register to comment.