It's been like 8 months here, not helping me much either so...
Also fun to know according to juggernaut that I'll never have anyone to trust and be close with I can rely on for emotional support because I have to learn to live with being as entirely crushingly alone as I am. That's good advice.
I dont think thats what he said at all? That sounds a lot like what youve been saying about yourself for months though
Friendly reminder that no one who posts in this thread gives perfect advice and that ultimately you will have to figure out the best path forward for yourself, not some anonymous internet clone of a handsome Australian man.
fuck you
i give perfect advice on all subjects
especially when i don't know what i am talking about
+8
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
edited November 2017
And yes, I realize when I say "no one gives perfect advice" I am tiptoe-ing toward the "only a sith thinks in absolutes" line of self-parody.
It's been like 8 months here, not helping me much either so...
Also fun to know according to juggernaut that I'll never have anyone to trust and be close with I can rely on for emotional support because I have to learn to live with being as entirely crushingly alone as I am. That's good advice.
I dont think thats what he said at all? That sounds a lot like what youve been saying about yourself for months though
I just can't lean on people that I don't trust fully and I have to many trust issues that come between me and anyone I'm not intimately close with. No one, especially someone with problems like mine can or should have to stand entirely on their own. But I just can't put myself into situations where I can get hurt by telling people how I really feel anymore, it's happened too many times.
It's been a very long time for me so much has happened nearly 90% is less than positive so I feel getting drunk and crying about it was long past what I could do
I'm going to close my okcupid account again and just focus on me. I can't do the whole romance thing at all I'm not meant for it. Just have to learn to be OK without it from now on and for the rest of my life.
I just wish it didn't feel like I'm cutting off my own arm or something. I feel like I'm never ever going to be really happy or satisfied with my life because I'm just incapable of this one thing and it makes the rest of everthing feel like a total waste of time.
Focusing on you doesn't mean giving up on romance, it just means putting your attention on something equally important.
The odds are pretty decent you'll end up more capable and attractive as a result of focusing on yourself, in fact. It's not a bad priority, especially if you're feeling bummed more often than not.
I don't care about myself though, I'm not that important to me. With no affection and intimacy and reassurances that I'm OK and worthwhile I just can't function. I've been a mess since the breakup.
Well that's problem numero uno. If you need somebody else to validate you and tell you you're good and worthwhile I, uh got some bad news for you. That's a lot of pressure to put on somebody and eventually they will crack under it and leave. Asking that somebody be the emotional rock for two isn't really fair and I'd imagine would be hugely negative to their own mental well being. You have to take that initiative on your own.
Also I am in Spain and I kinda regret coming by myself because I have nobody to talk to. I'm also jet lagged and awake at 3 am but I'm in the top bunk of the hostel and I don't want to try climbing down.
I couldn't handle traveling abroad entirely alone. Turns out being in an unfamiliar environment throws off all my usual self-sufficiency instincts
Luckily I've not really been hungry since I got here because I've had this weird anxiety about trying to order stuff because I can't really speak enough Catalan. Ordering in English seems kinda rude like.
I did manage to find an Irish bar and drank about 2 litres of Paulaner which is kind of like dinner, right?
Dude just order in Spanish. Even in the current political climate it should be fine.
Friendly reminder that no one who posts in this thread gives perfect advice and that ultimately you will have to figure out the best path forward for yourself, not some anonymous internet clone of a handsome Australian man.
fuck you
i give perfect advice on all subjects
especially when i don't know what i am talking about
Not knowing shit about fuck is the path to impartial advice.
+1
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HyperBalladA ball of vivid colour and barely contained emotionsSydney. Lost in time and space.Registered Userregular
See, I’m the opposite there. It’s only very recently that I’ve started to become more jaded, and then again I’m still far more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt than most are. I’m a glutton for punishment it seems. But I take it upon myself if others have a negative opinion of me, and I do all I can to fix that. And unfortunately that tends to drive others away. I care too much for others and far too little for myself.
I'm going to close my okcupid account again and just focus on me. I can't do the whole romance thing at all I'm not meant for it. Just have to learn to be OK without it from now on and for the rest of my life.
I just wish it didn't feel like I'm cutting off my own arm or something. I feel like I'm never ever going to be really happy or satisfied with my life because I'm just incapable of this one thing and it makes the rest of everthing feel like a total waste of time.
Focusing on you doesn't mean giving up on romance, it just means putting your attention on something equally important.
The odds are pretty decent you'll end up more capable and attractive as a result of focusing on yourself, in fact. It's not a bad priority, especially if you're feeling bummed more often than not.
I don't care about myself though, I'm not that important to me. With no affection and intimacy and reassurances that I'm OK and worthwhile I just can't function. I've been a mess since the breakup.
Well that's problem numero uno. If you need somebody else to validate you and tell you you're good and worthwhile I, uh got some bad news for you. That's a lot of pressure to put on somebody and eventually they will crack under it and leave. Asking that somebody be the emotional rock for two isn't really fair and I'd imagine would be hugely negative to their own mental well being. You have to take that initiative on your own.
Also I am in Spain and I kinda regret coming by myself because I have nobody to talk to. I'm also jet lagged and awake at 3 am but I'm in the top bunk of the hostel and I don't want to try climbing down.
I couldn't handle traveling abroad entirely alone. Turns out being in an unfamiliar environment throws off all my usual self-sufficiency instincts
Luckily I've not really been hungry since I got here because I've had this weird anxiety about trying to order stuff because I can't really speak enough Catalan. Ordering in English seems kinda rude like.
I did manage to find an Irish bar and drank about 2 litres of Paulaner which is kind of like dinner, right?
Dude just order in Spanish. Even in the current political climate it should be fine.
1) The very first thing I ever tried to order on my first trip abroad in Barcelona was chicken. Hint: I did not, until my friend stopped laughing about 2 minutes later, know how to pronounce chicken in Spanish.
2) That said, I've gone through the same thing since and after a day or so I just get hungry enough to get over myself.
I'm going to close my okcupid account again and just focus on me. I can't do the whole romance thing at all I'm not meant for it. Just have to learn to be OK without it from now on and for the rest of my life.
I just wish it didn't feel like I'm cutting off my own arm or something. I feel like I'm never ever going to be really happy or satisfied with my life because I'm just incapable of this one thing and it makes the rest of everthing feel like a total waste of time.
Focusing on you doesn't mean giving up on romance, it just means putting your attention on something equally important.
The odds are pretty decent you'll end up more capable and attractive as a result of focusing on yourself, in fact. It's not a bad priority, especially if you're feeling bummed more often than not.
I don't care about myself though, I'm not that important to me. With no affection and intimacy and reassurances that I'm OK and worthwhile I just can't function. I've been a mess since the breakup.
Well that's problem numero uno. If you need somebody else to validate you and tell you you're good and worthwhile I, uh got some bad news for you. That's a lot of pressure to put on somebody and eventually they will crack under it and leave. Asking that somebody be the emotional rock for two isn't really fair and I'd imagine would be hugely negative to their own mental well being. You have to take that initiative on your own.
Also I am in Spain and I kinda regret coming by myself because I have nobody to talk to. I'm also jet lagged and awake at 3 am but I'm in the top bunk of the hostel and I don't want to try climbing down.
I couldn't handle traveling abroad entirely alone. Turns out being in an unfamiliar environment throws off all my usual self-sufficiency instincts
Luckily I've not really been hungry since I got here because I've had this weird anxiety about trying to order stuff because I can't really speak enough Catalan. Ordering in English seems kinda rude like.
I did manage to find an Irish bar and drank about 2 litres of Paulaner which is kind of like dinner, right?
Dude just order in Spanish. Even in the current political climate it should be fine.
1) The very first thing I ever tried to order on my first trip abroad in Barcelona was chicken. Hint: I did not, until my friend stopped laughing about 2 minutes later, know how to pronounce chicken in Spanish.
2) That said, I've gone through the same thing since and after a day or so I just get hungry enough to get over myself.
When I traveled to Austria with my in-laws, my mother-in-law got narky with me for a little while because she thought I was being sarcastic whenever I ordered pork for her in German.
It's been like 8 months here, not helping me much either so...
Also fun to know according to juggernaut that I'll never have anyone to trust and be close with I can rely on for emotional support because I have to learn to live with being as entirely crushingly alone as I am. That's good advice.
I dont think thats what he said at all? That sounds a lot like what youve been saying about yourself for months though
I just can't lean on people that I don't trust fully and I have to many trust issues that come between me and anyone I'm not intimately close with. No one, especially someone with problems like mine can or should have to stand entirely on their own. But I just can't put myself into situations where I can get hurt by telling people how I really feel anymore, it's happened too many times.
I think this is something you should speak with a therapist about. They can help you work through this kind of stuff.
I'm going to close my okcupid account again and just focus on me. I can't do the whole romance thing at all I'm not meant for it. Just have to learn to be OK without it from now on and for the rest of my life.
I just wish it didn't feel like I'm cutting off my own arm or something. I feel like I'm never ever going to be really happy or satisfied with my life because I'm just incapable of this one thing and it makes the rest of everthing feel like a total waste of time.
Focusing on you doesn't mean giving up on romance, it just means putting your attention on something equally important.
The odds are pretty decent you'll end up more capable and attractive as a result of focusing on yourself, in fact. It's not a bad priority, especially if you're feeling bummed more often than not.
I don't care about myself though, I'm not that important to me. With no affection and intimacy and reassurances that I'm OK and worthwhile I just can't function. I've been a mess since the breakup.
Well that's problem numero uno. If you need somebody else to validate you and tell you you're good and worthwhile I, uh got some bad news for you. That's a lot of pressure to put on somebody and eventually they will crack under it and leave. Asking that somebody be the emotional rock for two isn't really fair and I'd imagine would be hugely negative to their own mental well being. You have to take that initiative on your own.
Also I am in Spain and I kinda regret coming by myself because I have nobody to talk to. I'm also jet lagged and awake at 3 am but I'm in the top bunk of the hostel and I don't want to try climbing down.
I couldn't handle traveling abroad entirely alone. Turns out being in an unfamiliar environment throws off all my usual self-sufficiency instincts
Luckily I've not really been hungry since I got here because I've had this weird anxiety about trying to order stuff because I can't really speak enough Catalan. Ordering in English seems kinda rude like.
I did manage to find an Irish bar and drank about 2 litres of Paulaner which is kind of like dinner, right?
Dude just order in Spanish. Even in the current political climate it should be fine.
1) The very first thing I ever tried to order on my first trip abroad in Barcelona was chicken. Hint: I did not, until my friend stopped laughing about 2 minutes later, know how to pronounce chicken in Spanish.
2) That said, I've gone through the same thing since and after a day or so I just get hungry enough to get over myself.
When I traveled to Austria with my in-laws, my mother-in-law got narky with me for a little while because she thought I was being sarcastic whenever I ordered pork for her in German.
A few months after I moved to Germany my parents came to Europe and we met up in Austria. My mother insisted I order for the table since "you must be nearly fluent now!" After I did, she said "well we could have done THAT."
Story of my life, right there.
I'm now having the mental image of my Dad insisting he still knows German from when he was in the Army 40 years ago and I may be able to stop cringing a week from now.
I'm going to close my okcupid account again and just focus on me. I can't do the whole romance thing at all I'm not meant for it. Just have to learn to be OK without it from now on and for the rest of my life.
I just wish it didn't feel like I'm cutting off my own arm or something. I feel like I'm never ever going to be really happy or satisfied with my life because I'm just incapable of this one thing and it makes the rest of everthing feel like a total waste of time.
Focusing on you doesn't mean giving up on romance, it just means putting your attention on something equally important.
The odds are pretty decent you'll end up more capable and attractive as a result of focusing on yourself, in fact. It's not a bad priority, especially if you're feeling bummed more often than not.
I don't care about myself though, I'm not that important to me. With no affection and intimacy and reassurances that I'm OK and worthwhile I just can't function. I've been a mess since the breakup.
Well that's problem numero uno. If you need somebody else to validate you and tell you you're good and worthwhile I, uh got some bad news for you. That's a lot of pressure to put on somebody and eventually they will crack under it and leave. Asking that somebody be the emotional rock for two isn't really fair and I'd imagine would be hugely negative to their own mental well being. You have to take that initiative on your own.
Also I am in Spain and I kinda regret coming by myself because I have nobody to talk to. I'm also jet lagged and awake at 3 am but I'm in the top bunk of the hostel and I don't want to try climbing down.
I couldn't handle traveling abroad entirely alone. Turns out being in an unfamiliar environment throws off all my usual self-sufficiency instincts
Luckily I've not really been hungry since I got here because I've had this weird anxiety about trying to order stuff because I can't really speak enough Catalan. Ordering in English seems kinda rude like.
I did manage to find an Irish bar and drank about 2 litres of Paulaner which is kind of like dinner, right?
You managed to travel to three countries at once! German beer in Irish pup in Spain.
It feels like something that happens outside of yourself.
+3
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HyperBalladA ball of vivid colour and barely contained emotionsSydney. Lost in time and space.Registered Userregular
I guess what I’ve found is that the void that person left in your life stays there, but you learn to navigate around it, so to speak. It will always be there, it just becomes less of a hurdle to overcome with time. And of course, the deeper the connection you had with that person, the more of yourself that you gave to that person means that the void they left is deeper, wider and more painful.
You don’t ever forget the ones you truly love. They stay with you in the shapes they left behind, and over time you learn to heal around the void they left. Kinda like a hollow pearl in a way.
I don’t know that I agree. Feels more like erosion to me. Slow, imperceptible, but when you remember to look, you might not even recognize the spot where that meteor of loss hit because it’s blended into the landscape now.
OG Andre 3000, you say 'it's been two months' like that's a long time. You were together for years, right? Two months is nothing.
But you're making great progress! You've committed to getting yourself out there, and though it's been bumpy, you're still doing it. It'll work itself out in time. One day you'll come home and not even think about what you lost because you're too busy enjoying what you have.
Talking with a nice young lady these days, but god dang it, she lives a five hour journey away. Eh, it's not like I have time for anything anyway and I'm moving out of the country soon, so there.
Talking with a nice young lady these days, but god dang it, she lives a five hour journey away. Eh, it's not like I have time for anything anyway and I'm moving out of the country soon, so there.
It's that time of year where I'm reminded how awesome it is that I don't have to spend $1000 on gifts for a s/o's family and drive 6 hours to NYC to stay for 1.5 days and sleep on the floor because no one has room to bed up 8+ people.
I remember the last year we were together we had burned through my sick/vacation time because my s/o was getting recurring kidney infections because of her transplant. They told me I should take unpaid days to come down for christmas, because "it's family." I told them to fuck off (in slightly nicer words). So, suck a dick ex's family!
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Posts
fuck you
i give perfect advice on all subjects
especially when i don't know what i am talking about
The solution is to suppress them for years until all you're left with is tiredness and embarrassment, like me
I just can't lean on people that I don't trust fully and I have to many trust issues that come between me and anyone I'm not intimately close with. No one, especially someone with problems like mine can or should have to stand entirely on their own. But I just can't put myself into situations where I can get hurt by telling people how I really feel anymore, it's happened too many times.
Dude just order in Spanish. Even in the current political climate it should be fine.
Not knowing shit about fuck is the path to impartial advice.
2DS/3DS Friend code 0361-7385-2366
Twitter: @PoeticGecko
1) The very first thing I ever tried to order on my first trip abroad in Barcelona was chicken. Hint: I did not, until my friend stopped laughing about 2 minutes later, know how to pronounce chicken in Spanish.
2) That said, I've gone through the same thing since and after a day or so I just get hungry enough to get over myself.
When I traveled to Austria with my in-laws, my mother-in-law got narky with me for a little while because she thought I was being sarcastic whenever I ordered pork for her in German.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I think this is something you should speak with a therapist about. They can help you work through this kind of stuff.
Steam: pazython
A few months after I moved to Germany my parents came to Europe and we met up in Austria. My mother insisted I order for the table since "you must be nearly fluent now!" After I did, she said "well we could have done THAT."
Story of my life, right there.
I might have time to offer my services as a life coach for a nominal fee.
AWAY WITH THEE, LICKSPITTLE OF THE RUINOUS POWERS
You managed to travel to three countries at once! German beer in Irish pup in Spain.
It feels like something that happens outside of yourself.
You don’t ever forget the ones you truly love. They stay with you in the shapes they left behind, and over time you learn to heal around the void they left. Kinda like a hollow pearl in a way.
2DS/3DS Friend code 0361-7385-2366
Twitter: @PoeticGecko
But you're making great progress! You've committed to getting yourself out there, and though it's been bumpy, you're still doing it. It'll work itself out in time. One day you'll come home and not even think about what you lost because you're too busy enjoying what you have.
Healing.
Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
take me with you
Also a 30.06 rifle for protection against polar bears.
oh my god sign me the fuck up
that sounds amazing
I remember the last year we were together we had burned through my sick/vacation time because my s/o was getting recurring kidney infections because of her transplant. They told me I should take unpaid days to come down for christmas, because "it's family." I told them to fuck off (in slightly nicer words). So, suck a dick ex's family!
No Pink, he means like actual bears. The animal.
i am aware of what vicious wild animals i'd like to hug thank you very much
Typically they are quite murderous
For as long as that lasts, sure
explaining jokes should be punished by guillotine
You'd be doing me a favor
won't somebody think of the guillotine