It's that time of year! Everyone is still suffering a candy hangover from Halloween and the Christmas displays in stores are only a month old! That spells Thanksgiving!
The finest of holidays! Football (go Pack) (but not this year)! Food! Family?! Food! MST3k! Food! Leftovers!
TURKEY VOLUME GUESSING MAN!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1FwyR0LWVg
so .... what's everyone doing for Thanksgiving?
I'm going to be hanging out with my girlfriends family and friends and hopefully stuffing my face with lots of food while playing lots of board games!
Look! Pictures of traditional Thanksgiving fare*!
TURKEY! The main course. Eat the best parts slathered in gravy and mashed potatoes. Use the giblets in gravy and the leftovers in soup and sandwiches tomorrow or later that night. Boil the bones for stock. Make sure to place your fruit in an artful location before serving!
MASHED POTATOES! Lots of cream and butter and salt and pepper and garlic and basically whatever else you want your potatoes to taste like. I usually toss in a sweet potato and a shallot or two for the heck of it!
Peas and Pearl Onions! also add bacon.
STUFFING! Stale Bread, honey'd sausage, a bunch of herbs and onion and the like! Feeding a family of 16? Toss it in a garbage bag and shake it up!
SAGE AND ONION GRAVY! Doctors have been telling us for ages that we should be drinking eight glasses of gravy a day and as americans, we have been slacking! Get to it people, Thanksgiving is a great day to start! you will need a much larger container than the one pictured.
like this 5 gallon stoneware crock
FRENCH'S CRISPY ONIONS! At least two containers per person. For general snacking on the couch and also for putting on all of your food. I've never tried making them into a smoothie, but I can't see how it would taste bad.
PLAY SCATTERGORIES AND SUPER SMASH BROTHERS
TAKE A NAP
DO THE DISHES
*only traditional for the last hundred odd years. this Thanksgiving or any other bears no resemblance to thanksgiving celebrated with native americans and/or pilgrims.
Also my family has never had the 'traditional' cranberry sauce. Instead there's usually at least 2 loaves of this on the table:
Cranberry Bread. It's so good. My little brother who doesn't even cook (or remember to eat half the time) made sure he had the recipe when he got his own place.
We figured out years ago no one actually liked turkey. I'm not sad about it yet. God bless our impending mess
Warning: Don't actually just eat a can of these by themselves, unless you are somewhere that you can get away with 24 hours of searingly hot, dry, rancid onion farts.
So I've been told. By a guy I know. Don't worry about it.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
I am hosting a Thanksgiving meal for my friends & I the Saturday afterward, so that'll be fun.
Meanwhile on the actual day of Thanksgiving I'll probably drink a whole fifth of bourbon and watch cartoons.
My dad, who I usually had thanksgiving lunch at a Brazilian steakhouse moved out of town earlier this year.
That wouldn't be so bad, but all my friends who I normally would have Orphan Thanksgiving with decided to do a Japan trip together (I couldn't afford it) and they'll be there during Thanksgiving.
And since I work the next day I can't visit my family and spend it with them.
Authenticity is overrated
My mom and paternal grandpa are the only two people in my clan who insist on canned cranberry sauce when there is actual cranberry sauce available.
Then again, those two also insist on a year-old jar of pickled hot dog and baloney chunks, so take that with a grain of violent regurgitation.
they smell great though
also, the bean juice (?) is not syrupy like you usually see, but very runny. I'm not really sure what to do, but I guess I have 10 days to figure it out
If your beans are old, nothing will save them, I have learned from experience.
Putting this in my reserve of "quotes that sound like wise proverbs but don't actually have a deeper meaning" for fucking with youths when I'm old.
They're regular dried beans from the store
the expiration is nowhere near according to the bag
now that I'm approaching hour 6, the beans are softening and beginning to look like baked beans. The bean juice (or whatever) is starting to go down, but it still isn't thick. I think next time I'll add more of everything except beans. It tastes great, but it isn't rich or savory like I want
the beans are appropriately soft and syrupy. for the official batch, I will add more sugar by 25% or so. all in all, a success! no clue how I'm going to clean this pot though ....
Can confirm from personal experience.
I will gladly eat another can by myself.
Nope, sorry. Much like a Highlander, the cranberry bread has slain the cranberry goo shaped like a tin can and stolen all of its power.
super easy to make aside from babysitting the water level
It was kinda fun to have two Thanksgivings last year, though
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And y'all ain't got nuthin on this.
Apparently you've never seen an Ukrainian-Canadian Thanksgiving
Fuck the dumb American-Canadian Thanksgiving feud. Americans trying to act like their anything is hot shit is just embarrassing and everyone knows two Thanksgivings are better than one anyway. There are way too many Canadians out there that I love and respect for me to talk shit about their holidays. I spend Canadian Thanksgiving appreciating all my Canadian friends and American Thanksgiving appreciating everyone because more excuses to tell the people who matter to me how important they are, the better.
I put all that other stuff in the OP for padding
Mm-mmmm. Farts so dry they'll make you wish there was chapstick for your b-hole.
Still no plans for actual thanksgiving.
Silent I there sit
Whispering wind through the trees
Quietly I leave
Nothing left behind
Save for the scent of Funyuns
I was not eating
Last year I nearly killed myself cooking for like, 20 some-odd people.
Not this year.